Day 9

Four days later I still hadn't accepted the truth. After all, I had been something of a playa back home, and the current situation I was in was not typical of my former mentality. I clung to that former mentality, naturally, until the very last moment. Four days of denial.

Day eight was a hectic day. Everyone got mad at everyone else. I, as always, breathed in the chaos. But something inside of me, a creature buried deep within me, dug frantically and hectically to try to get free and become part of me for good. My normal self heaved against the boundary that the new thing was trying to break through. I went to sleep with the creature trying to escape and my self holding him back with all the power he possessed. It was the beginning of what; I soon found out; would be a war bloodier than ever before.

I went to bed late that night, not in the least bit tired. It was somewhat hard to go to sleep when it felt like something was clawing inside of me.

I had finally nodded off when music gently reached my ears. In an annoyed way, I got up out of my sleeping bag and stumbled outside. I saw that Nathan and Jackson were already out there, groaning and looking around in a confused manner themselves. Daley and Taylor and Melissa were also out, looking around. I noticed that Lex, Abby and Meg were not among us. I watched as a grumpy Nathan pushed a grumpier Jackson forward towards the source of the noise. Reluctantly, I followed suit.

We came up to where the plane was and the camp, and I saw it all decked out like it was supposed to be some sort of dance floor. The music was playing soft and slow, and Abby was standing in the middle in a dress that I knew made every boy in the audience's heart stop. Lex was over in a little corner, DJ-ing the whole affair, and Meg was sitting against the plane, pen in hand, notebook on her lap and her brow furrowed in concentration. I felt the creature inside of me claw more frantically for release.

"Hey everyone," Abby smiled at us all, and my inner self pushed back on the creature and subdued it momentarily.

"Is that my dress?" Taylor gasped. She began to go for her, but Jackson and I rushed forward and held her back, for although I loved to watch a good cat fight I don't think anyone was in the mood that morning.

"You guys have done an awesome job since we crashed. And you really are a family. Bad things bring people together, but so do good things. I'm here to let you guys have a happy memory for once," Abby explained, her glittering smile caused my resolution to be even more firm.

Lex restarted the music.

"Well if it's a dance," Nathan grinned. He then began to walk towards Daley.

"Let's dance," Nathan grinned at her and they began dancing. I looked over at Meg, and saw that she had this look of pleasant shock on her face that made the creature claw even more frantically.

Jackson then turned over to Melissa, murmuring, "I'm not too good at this… but…"

"I'll teach you," Melissa smiled up at him whilst assuming the dancing position. Jackson nodded, "Ahh."

I decided to go over to lonesome Abby, who was surprisingly left dance-less. The creature inside of me, however, started to claw so much that my stomach hurt.

"Hey, want to dance?" I asked her casually, trying to subdue the tornado in my stomach.

"Nah, I'm helping Lex," Abby smirked at me. I shrugged. My instincts told me to go to Taylor now, but then the creature clawed so frantically and so menacingly that it broke free of the barrier set out by my inner self. I gasped silently as the creature came free and directed me towards Meg, still writing in her notebook. The creature took entire control of my body, but it no longer was some sort of animal. It was me, except a new, different me.

"Care to set down your notebook for just one second?" I asked cockily, for the old me was still alive and still fighting this, but was in a state of immense shock at the moment.

"Um…sure, I guess," Meg paused, looking immensely shocked and surprised. My old self became angry, for why wouldn't anyone want to dance with me?

"Lighten up," I grinned, however, because the new thing inside of me was surprisingly compassionate towards this fourteen year old girl.

I pulled her gently up into my arms and loosely wrapped an arm around her. I was somewhat nervous, and this was surprising because (to be frank) why should I be nervous?

Well, parts of me answered, because you are now insanely close to this girl, and because-

I cut off my own thoughts and concentrated on dancing. I saw Taylor glare at us from behind, and I couldn't help but smirk. Sometimes, I told Taylor mentally, you can't always get what you want.

I faintly felt Meg move her head on occasion to look up at people and then look down again. I noticed that she was as far from me as possible (which was why I was so sad, I realized) and that she wouldn't talk to me or even chance a peek at me. I felt a giant pang in my heart, and I greatly considered moving her closer to me… but that would have been forward. Not to mention I might have…

Stop thinking, you little perv, I told myself immediately, and then became shocked with myself. Never before have I ever stopped myself from thinking less than chaste thoughts about a girl. And now I was angry at myself for considering the possibility of thinking less than chaste thoughts! In embarrassment I continued dancing.

Why, though? Why was this different? Was I different? Was this new creature, contently purring next to my old self while he was fuming, changing me? What was going on?

I felt Meg's wild and beautiful hair (did I just think her hair was beautiful??) tickled my neck and shoulder, and I felt something like a shiver creep up my spine. She was closer to me now, she had relaxed.

Suddenly, Taylor came up, asking for a dance. I felt a wave of compassion for her, but that new creature suddenly livened up and growled menacingly for me not to switch. My old self had been tossed by this new creature into a corner, and had no say.

"Please?" Taylor begged.

Meg finally looked at me in question, her bright hazel eyes shining with all the candlelight. That did it for me. Despite the fact that her face was twisted into a smirk, I shook my head.

She looked shocked for a moment, and then turned apologetically to Taylor.

"Sorry," she shrugged. Taylor then headed off to Lex and Abby, who were dancing in the corner. I felt bad for a split second, but then stopped. I wanted to dance with Meg. Was that such a crime?

Meg was close to me again, and I was so nervous I was sure I was sweating more than what seemed appropriate. Why was I so nervous?

Because you love her, the creature finally managed to answer without my old self shoving it to the back.

I what?? I thought angrily. Of course I didn't! I barely knew her! Its not like I wanted to kiss her… oh God, I wanted to kiss her so much right now…

Face it, you love her. Move on from the shock and make a move before it's too late, the creature answered, and don't worry. I'm here to help.

I hesitantly murmured into Meg's ear (in close proximity, thankfully,) "Hey Meg?"

"Yeah?" she answered nervously, immediately, almost in a challenging way, like she knew what I was going to say. I changed my mind, much to the chagrin of the creature.

"Um… never mind," I shook my head, and we continued dancing. I was content, for the moment, with Meg pressed up close to me.

Its okay, the creature answered, we should probably find out before hand whether or not she likes you back. That way we can avoid full-frontal rejection. Of course, that means sneaking around in her things…

It was at that moment that I dubbed this thing New Eric, and my old self Old Eric. Two halves of me, very much the same, yet very much different.

What I didn't know was that this knight was the start of a giant, Armageddon-esque war within me.

F29DWN

Abby left that night. I was as shocked as the rest when I found out. But I was also shocked, and hurt, that Meg told Abby her secret and didn't tell me.

Well, yeah, New Eric retorted, it's not like you're the most trustworthy person in the history of the world.

True, I thought, and then continued on towards the camp. I was on a mission. I had to find out whether Meg had feelings for me. I didn't want to be rejected or hurt. I wasn't really in the mood for that.

I dug into the camp stuff, and found her tape. It was right next to Jackson's tape in the middle of some stuff. Nervously, I looked around, grabbed her tape, and grabbed Jackson's tape as well. If she didn't have feelings for me, I would need something to cheer me up and make me laugh. Jackson was my safest bet.

I retreated with the tapes and the camera into a corner in the jungle. Looking around to make sure that no one was with me, I watched them.

I came out of the jungle, fuming, and ready to kill. Or, at the very least, Old Eric was ready to ruin that bitch's life like she broke my heart.

This would become the biggest mistake of my life.

(1, 678 words)