"Listen buddy. I need to see your Princess Celery right away. Wake her ass up, this is urgent. I am not going to spend another minute as a pony!"

The guards looked at each other, unsure of how to react, not that it showed on their faces. This obviously was a being beyond the scope of normal ponykind. Horns and wings normally meant royalty as far as they were concerned. Still, the image of a ponified Hellboy is out of even their odd standards.

"Listen, sir, we can't let you in. You can try and get an audience with Princess CELESTIA, but right now you can not be allowed in. If you keep at it, we'll have to remove you from the castle grounds. Forcibly."

Hellboy put the stony hoof under the guard's chin.

"I said I'm not going to spend another minute as a pony. I've had enough of this crap. Get her "royal high-ass" down here now!"

Abe restrained the transformed hero as best he could. Flippers just can't hold on very easily.

"I do apologize for Red, he's just in a bit of shock. I think your Princess does need to see us straight away, and-"

"My little ponies, why are you so on edge? Surely two guests aren't to be turned away."

The guards, though always at attention, seemed to straighten further at the voice. A white mare, almost as tall as Hellboy's current form, and the first horned pegasus the pair had ever seen. She was beautiful, for a horse, and was absolutely radiant. But most striking was the ever-moving mane, as if the fact there was no wind was a mere technicality. There was no mistaking who this pony was.

The pair stared in awe, but the Princess, who had a better chance to look them over, was becoming rather discomforted herself.

"Guards, escort them to my chambers, then leave us."

"As you wish, Princess Celestia."

She turned and hastily walked away, trying to give the dignity a royal must portray, but Hellboy caught a glimpse of slight panic in her eyes. As the guards showed the way, he helped the hippocamp us the stairs.

"Abe, I think we better be ready for a fight. She didn't look happy to see us."

"Red, you know that's not how it works. If anyone is going to fight us, they always have the minions attack first. We've been in this business long enough to know."

"But a thousand years Abe. That... thing has ruled this land for a thousand years. Maybe she'll be the first to get smart and try the direct approach."

Huge double doors swung open to reveal a very richly decorated sitting area filled with various couches and chair, which Abe used gratefully. As the doors shut, the Princess swooped down from a hiding spot in the ceiling to land behind Hellboy. From what Abe could see, the tip of her horn was very sharp, but what worried him more was the orb of fire forming at the tip.

"What are you doing in my peaceful land of Equestria, Anung Un Rama?"

Hellboy glanced over his shoulder, eying the fire with only mild worry. He was fireproof after all. But he kept hearing how this pony controlled the sun, and he wasn't sure if he'd withstand a flare from a star.

"You know that name?"

Celestia let the flame extinguish, her body relaxing but the calculating gaze remained.

"Anung Un Rama. Son of the Fallen One. Herald of Destruction. Key to the End. King of the Golden Army. Hellboy. Red. Son. I know your names, and what's more, I know your purpose. I do not want you here any more than you do. Behind you is nothing but a wake of nothingness and pain. If helping you means saving my subjects the grief..."

The Princess gave him a light buffet with her wing. He thought he could hide the mocking mouthing.

"Crap! Sorry, Lady, but when you started going on about the names force of habit kicked in. You know how many times I've heard that damn speech over and over? Well, to put it in terms you'll understand, if I had an apple for every time, then this whole kingdom could eat for the rest of their lives."

Abe coughed, breaking the staring match the two winged ponies had started.

"Thank you, Princess, for offering your help. Dimensional shifting is something the BPRD knows of, but we've had very little practical usage. You assistance will be immensely useful to both us personally and the organization as a whole."

The Princess shook her head, lack of sleep starting to get at her.

"No, I won't be giving you the means to do it yourself. I can't have you possibly having humanity leak into Equestria... again. The last time, horrible threats like the Smooze seemed outright tame compared to the cruel foalnapping and enslavement suffered by my little ponies. No, I personally will cast the spell to send you back. However..."

Hellboy threw his hooves up.

"Oh great, don't tell me. We'll have to go on a quest, find an artifact, fight some big slimy thing that'll leave me beaten, bruised, and covered in ooze, then come back and give it to you? I'm getting pretty tired of this crap Abe...Abe? Wake up!"

Celestia gave a small snort of laughter, sleepily looking over at the resting hippocamp.

"Leave him be, Hellcolt. It must be tiring to drag yourself everywhere. I'll see about a cart and harness for him to use in the morning. For now, rest here, and enjoy the peace while you can. I'll be keeping my sister company tonight. Is there some small comfort I can offer you before I go? No reason to be discourteous now that it's clear you have no intent to wreak havoc."

Hellboy was readying another snide remark when the thought stuck him. He's been crabby all day, and not solely from the new form. He's been missing something all damned day.

"I'd kill for a cigar."

Celestia telekineticially pulled an aged rose-wood box from a far corner of the room.

"Here, I normally save these for diplomats and other high ranking political figures, so I see no reason another Royal can't have one."

He bite down on the cigar rather than complain about being called "Royal". He grew frustrated again as he realized he'd lost his lighter in the shift, but Celestia's flame was lit again, floating in front of him instead of at her horn. He puffed the tobacco, let out a long sigh of smoke, and mumbled a thanks as she left. Looking out the big window at the full moon night, he couldn't help but feel... cozy in this little sugarcoated world.

"Better get out before I start giving speeches to Abe about the magic of friendship..."

…

Fillies and Gentlecolts, I present Chapter 2! It's not as funny as the first one, but I'm trying to make this you know... give the Hellboy side of things to shine since I do so much else with MLP:FiM in my other works. Hope you enjoyed! I'd love to hear your feedback on this or any other story I'm doing. I take suggestions freely, and try to rework things if you feel the characters are well, too out of character.

Kyle