a/n: So this one isn't as long... took me while to get back to it cause work has been busy and I've been neglecting this for my art and guitar lately. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, please please review if you do, gives me much more incentive to want to continue. Thanks for the nice reviews I received on the first chapter!

disclaimer: I don't own ATU or these characters.

The rough grain of the couch scratched her face as she rolled over once again to find a comfortable position. Lucy heaved a sigh and curled her blanket more tightly around her shoulders, trying to keep warm in the chilly apartment she was staying at. Luckily for her she had made a few friends at work that were willing to take her in til she figured out what she was going to do.

Jude. It all came back to him, always. He never left her mind, his coffee-colored eyes always gazing at her from the inside, and making her feel guilty, alone, and miserable. She missed him, and it hurt so bad to think about him, but he kept slipping into her thoughts, that cocky little grin on his face.

They hadn't left on good terms, she snorted to herself, obviously, or else she'd be in his arms right now and not trying to ignore the sounds of traffic coming from the window behind the couch. The pillow beneath her head caressed her cheek and absorbed her tears.

He had looked so scared…so pained the last time they were together. His eyes encased in greasy, dark smudges…his hair ratted in knots. She hadn't meant to catch him doing it, and still wished she hadn't. If she hadn't seen that needle slip into his arm, and the euphoric look on his face, maybe she'd be with him right this second.

He hadn't expected her home so soon, she got off early that night. The apartment was unusually quiet that night…most of their roommates out at some party for Sadie. She had actually been surprised that Jude's bedroom light snuck out from beneath his door.

But his face, when he saw her…when she saw him…she couldn't forget it. The shock had flown from her eyes to reflect horror on his face. Gasping and stumbling, the needle still hanging from his arm and a belt wrapped tight about his bicep he had tried to explain. But his words came out mushy and slurred and her anger wouldn't allow her to take the time to listen.

All she could think of was how he could hide something like that from her. How he could be so unhappy as to need a high that strong.

An ambulance drove past the building she was in, red and blue lights flashing against her wet eyes. She shivered and held in a sob.

He hadn't listened, not really. He was fucking high, and she couldn't stand it. Screaming and hitting, she had thrown her things in a bag. All the while Jude trying to wrap his arms around her, trying to sooth her. She shoved him away and stared at his gasping frame. He blinked tears from his eyes and yanked the needle out of his arm, then released the belt so it fell to the floor with a clunk.

"Why? Jude…why? How did you even keep this from me? How long? I mean…I can't do this. I don't even care how long …. Just why?"

She glared at him and he was suddenly a little kid again, staring at his feet and trying not to burst out in sobs.

"Lucy…I don't know why..I just, we tried it the once and then..I kept on…..I'm happy with you Lucy, this is just something that inspires me and helps with my art…I mean…well, it's just, it's nothing really.."

A glass shattered beside his head and she wished she hadn't missed. Then she stormed out of their room and headed towards the front door. Jude right behind her, he grabbed her by the waist and tried to pull her around into a kiss.

"No Jude!" She pushed her arms against his clammy chest

"Come on Love, please" his voice cracked and more tears spilled over his lower lids.

Lucy struggled and broke free of him

"Fine. Choose, me or that. What's more important? This should be an easy decision."

She waited patiently, or as patiently as she could, her foot tapping and her hands clenching and unclenching. And then he did something she didn't expect, something to break her heart. He hesitated. In that instant she was out the door and running down the hall.

She hadn't seen him since then, that had been well over a month ago. Obviously there had been a lot of questioning she had to go through. Everyone was so concerned…what happened? Why'd she leave? What did Jude do? What was going on?

Different paths she would say, they were just too different and it wouldn't work out in the long run. No one believed her, but she didn't care. She couldn't stand to tell them the truth. Maybe that was selfish of her, to not let them know that Jude had a problem. But she wanted him to stop for her, needed to 

know that she was worth it. And until then, she would continue to mope on her friend's couch and go to work and try to put fire in to her anti-war projects.

She leaned deeper into the couch and tried to find sleep.

His fingers were numb, hanging limply by his sides as he stared out his bedroom window. The sun had come out and birds flitted to and fro singing joyously…he wanted so badly to smash them.

Jude turned around and sat down softly on the side of his bed. It had been twelve hours since his last hit. He had gone longer than that before, but he knew this time nothing was going to stop the shakes and the vomiting and the bright lights. He curled in on himself, trying not to be afraid. Sweat had already accumulated around the neck of his shirt and in rings under his arms. He rocked back and forth slightly, trying to ignore the snakes writhing in his stomach.

"Lucy"

Saying her name aloud helped slightly, forced him to remember why he was sitting here waiting for withdrawals. The front door slammed and he glanced up at his bedroom door. A newly placed chain lock rested at the top of the door, allowing him the privacy he was going to need to get through this.

A sharp pain stabbed into his gut and he rolled forward moaning, squeezing his eyes shut. His chunky hair fell ungraciously across his face and little bits remained In the sweat caressing his brow. Breathing shallowly he rolled over slightly to be in a fetal position on his bed. His jeans wrapped tightly around his waist and helped the surges of pain continue.

Knock knock knock

Jude answered by biting back his next groan of pain, the sound burying itself deep inside. He tried desperately not to cry.

"Jude, honey? You ok?" Sadie's voice traveled through the door and to his ears.

"I'm fine, jus' a little bellyache." He bit his lip and bowed his head to his knees trying not to allow any more come from his mouth.

"Alright Honey,if you need anything you just holler for me." Her footsteps echoed away from his door and he let out a breath of relief.

Another twinge went through his middle, pulling his stomach in circles to land outside his body. Jude quickly shot his head over the side of his bed and aimed for the bucket that was placed there. Each heave allowed bile to drip down his lips and chin to splash into the white plastic below. He lay there shaking for a time afterwards, each breath sent his lips quivering.

"Lucy"

He eased into sleep with his head hanging over the side of his mattress and tangled clumps of hair matted to his face. It was as peaceful as he was going to be for the next few days.

a/n: again sorry it's a bit short, but if you like it there will be more soon. please review, thanks!!