A/N: Chapter two time. I'm gonna try to really get things going here as far as the comedy and the yuriness are concerned. Hopefully all will like.
Disclaimer: Pants are neat (Naruto isn't mine).
"Um, okay, and how exactly are you going to obtain this ultimate evil power?" Temari said confused.
"With your deaths, all will fear me, and I will rule the world!!!" The strange man said with another evil laugh.
"And how is killing two random kunoichi going to allow you to rule the world?" Temari asked amused.
"Just stop asking him questions already, he's obviously insane. Just hurry up and save me." Ino called out agitated.
"It is all part of my master plan, by collecting the souls of innocent young virgins my omega-power-blade-stick shall give me the power of a thousand two-headed dragons." The man continued in his psychotic tones.
"Oh wow, you honestly think I look like an innocent virgin? See I knew you were out of your mind." Ino said mockingly.
"Well… I suppose… I will just kill you anyway and hopefully the omega-power-blade-stick will collect your soul anyway!!!" The man said his stride now broken.
"Alright, but before we fight tell me the name of my opponent." Temari said with a serous gaze.
"I am Ryukuzakimaru Mitamarushime the ultimate evil warrior of the dragon hell!!!" The idiot said in his usual loud tone.
"Right and I am Temari, master kunoichi of Sunagkure." Temari said with a placed laugh as she drew her fan.
Ryukuzakimaru charged forward and flailed his stick about for awhile with woeful aim while still holding Ino over his shoulder. Temari gave a quick sprint arrount the man and sent a fierce wind in his back, he jolted Ino from his being with a throw as he gave a painful reaction. Temari launched another fierce slash of wind straight at her opponent as she caught the girl.
"I am not yet defeated. The almighty dragon emperor of darkness never falters in his strength!!!" Ryukuzakimaru called in placed breaths.
"B-But that isn't even the same title you gave me before." Temari said pityingly.
"W-well you see, I am both the dragon emperor of darkness and the ultimate evil warrior of dragon hell, and pretty much any other title involving dragons and evil and stuff like that…" The fool said meekly.
"Oh just shut up already." Ino yelled angrily as she punched the psycho hard in the face sending him into unconsciousness. With that Ino and Temari left Ryukuzakimaru Mitamarushime lying unconscious in the middle of the forest.
"Well that was definitely odd." Temari said with a sigh.
"I'll say. That guy was out of his fucking mind." Ino gave a hard laugh.
"Yeah he seriously needs to be locked up somewhere." Temari said simply.
"Well, anyways, thanks for saving me I guess. Though I doubt it would have been much trouble to force myself out of that." Ino said with a smile.
"No problem." Temari said with a smile.
"Say, Temari, you know these flowers you see around here. Would you help me pick some?" Ino asked suddenly.
"And why would we be doing this?" Temari asked curiously.
"Well, the reason I asked Shikamaru here today was to pick these flowers here for my family's shop. Their beautiful, but we haven't been able to find a way to get them to bloom like this when domesticated. So we need a fare share of the wild ones here." Ino explained.
"Alright, I'm in." Temari smiled back as she began to help the girl with her task. With the two of them, they soon had enough in no time.
"Well, that should be enough. Thanks for the help." Ino said with a grin.
"Cool, by the way, me and Shikamaru were going to have a picnic… but since… you know… you're welcome to join me if you'd like." Temari said with a blush.
"That's sweet, of course, I'll eat your food with you." Ino said through a ridiculously wide smile as Temari brought out the meal she had prepared.
"I made this with Shikamaru in mind, but hopefully you don't mind…" Temari explained still a little embarrassed.
"Ohh, it's good, I'm surprised." Ino said with a laugh.
"Is it really that surprising?" Temari responded offended.
"Yeah, you don't look like you can cook, now granted the food I would make for Shikamaru is better, but it's still pretty good." Ino said with a proud look.
"Well thanks, I guess." Temari said trying not to become irritated.
"You know you're pretty nice. I know we got off to a bad start, but I think we could be friends." Ino said with enthusiasm.
"Why not, since I don't have Shikamaru anymore, I'll need someone to hang around with when I'm in Konoha." Temari said with a shrug.
"Oh so I'm Shikamaru's replacement now. Wow I wonder what that's like." Ino said with a sarcastic laugh.
"Don't get the wrong idea…" Temari gave a sigh.
"So I'm free the rest of the day. You want to go celebrate our new friendship." Ino said with an unnatural enthusiasm.
"Sounds fun, what do you have in mind?" Temari replied in question.
"Hmm, we'll just have to see." Ino giggled.
Temari and Ino then returned to the village. Ino made a stop off at her family's shop to drop off the flowers, before leading Temari around the town's shops. Eventually as night fell the two found themselves in a local bar.
"It is kind of different being around someone who actually wants to go do stuff." Temari called out.
"Yeah, I wonder what either of us ever saw in that guy in the first place." Ino said as she sipped a drink.
"Shikamaru has a wonderful mind, and he is a very kind and noble person." Temari answered her.
"God, you're hopeless, for me he was like my fourth or fifth pick, but I suppose you have to have seen something else in him to feel this strongly." Ino said with a laugh knowing that a large part of herself had been just as crazy about him only the day before.
"Well I guess he's kind cute." Temari searched.
"Eh, I'd say I'm cuter." Ino responded with a slight tease.
"I'm not sure how relevant that is…" Temari spoke in an uncomfortable way as she turned to her drink.
"So what did you think of the flowers?" Ino asked out of nowhere.
"They were pretty." Temari responded with an embarrassed look.
"Yeah, but I think I got to see a prettier flower today." Ino said offhand.
"You're totally hitting on me aren't you?" Temari said unbelievingly.
"Probably, but with a few more drinks in us both, I doubt it will really matter." Ino said seductively.
"Was this you're plan all along?" Temari asked curtly.
"What? Of course not." Ino said sarcastically.
"I see so all this time, you've spent with me today, it was all build-up so you could attempt to seduce me later." Temari said in a cool deductive manner.
"Hold your accusations… I mean I was under the impression you had the same thing in mind…" Ino said in an overtly sensual way.
"What on earth would give you that idea?" Temari spat.
"Well, first you saved my life from the evil bad guy, then you helped me pick flowers, and then you split your lunch with me…" Ino stated with a snicker.
"I didn't have any reason to object to helping you, and it wouldn't be right to let food to go to waste, and it really wasn't like you couldn't have taken care of that guy yourself…" Temari spoke hastily.
"Oh really, those are just excuses, and poor ones at that. It's quite obvious you want me by the subtext of your actions." Ino teased.
"You're crazy. You're just trying to… I bet you… you probably just set it all up, you let that guy capture you so that I'd save you and you'd have a reason to…" Temari accused disjointedly.
"Come now, Temari, I'm not Shikamaru, I don't think things through in advance like that." Ino said dismissingly.
"But still…" Temari tried to start.
"Anyways, it makes a lot of sense for us to get together." Ino said with certainty.
"And why the hell is that?" Temari said now in disbelief.
"Well, we both now have a void in our life where we used to have a lover, we get along well, and what's more were both very mutually attracted to one another." Ino said deductively.
"Look, I'm flattered that you find me attractive, and I did enjoy your company today, but I don't think that we should do anything together, just because we happened to have been dating the same guy." Temari said with a hint of anger.
"But don't you see it's a very good reason. We both share each other's pain: that feeling of betrayal, that eating away of our hearts. Isn't it best that in this ark time we come together for our mutual comfort?" Ino said in a mocking, dramatic tone.
"You may say it like that, but yes I actually do feel betrayed. I was serious about this, and I'm not sure I'm ready for something new." Temari said in a dead serious tone.
"Sorry, I suppose I should be a little more serious about this... But, Temari, you know... all that's in the past. Even if it's only as your friend, I don't want to see you be sad over this, stuff like this happens; you just gotta put it behind you and work to make the future happy." Ino replied insightfully, evening her tone to match the other girl's.
"You're right. Those who would betray me are not worth any tears… You actually say some smart things every once in a while, Ino." Temari said with a genuine smile.
"Ooh, so I did something right. Does that mean I still have a chance?" Ino returned once more to her energetic tone
"I'm not so sure about that." Temari said with a frown.
"Hmmph. And why not?!" Ino said unbelievingly.
"Have you ever thought that maybe there is an off chance that I'm not attracted to girls?" Temari replied with a blush, it was awkward even attempting to explain this away.
"Oh come, I've seen you stare all over me at least 27 times tonight, it so obvious you're hot for me it's not funny. Besides, you really don't know anything for sure until you try it." Ino said with a sensual smile.
"I-I haven't… I…I'm not interested." Temari exclaimed through her embarrassment, it was harder to fight Ino's advances now that she was giving them serious thought.
"Well fine then. I suppose we should get going then." Ino said with a frustrated look as she paid for her and Temari's drinks and the two of them left the bar.
"Yeah…"Temari said reservedly as she followed Ino out.
"So I suppose we go our separate ways now." Ino said with a smile.
"Sure." Temari said avoiding eye contact.
"But, tell me, Temari, where is it you sleep when you're in town?" Ino asked with a heavy grin.
"Oh, well… damn… thanks to all the distractions today I haven't thought about that; I suppose I can't stay with Shikamaru anymore…" Temari said in surprise.
"Yup, and it's really late now, I doubt many hotels would still have rooms left…" Ino added deviously.
"And even if I did find one, I really hadn't included the cost of a hotel room in the budget for this trip, and especially with all that stuff we bought today… it'd be difficult to pay right away…" Temari continued.
"You know, I know a place you can stay tonight for free." Ino said knowing she had won.
A/N: Yay that is chapter two. Wow, I don't know what to say, I pretty much threw everything together for this one. Stupid humor, yuri sexiness, random fun, this fic is shaping up to be something quite interesting. As I said I would, I took the characters a little out of character here. Temari's shyer and more reserved then one would expect, I seriously don't see her as the outwardly romantic type, so I thought this would work. Ino on the other hand is insane. I don't know why I decided to make her this way, I mean this is my first time writing Ino, you'd think I'd keep a more normal characterization of her. Maybe it's because this my first time with Ino that I make use of her certain personality quirks in such a way. Also I hope you liked this story's OC, he is one of my favorites ever. Wow, I totally love mocking myself. Anyways tell me what you think and expect the next chapter next week.