"Lies."

"Think of what you will. If you don't want to believe that I have a girlfriend, then I might as well bring her to you over the weekend." Sakuta's eyes narrowed, "...Although considering your streak of luck lately, I'm sure that I need to keep Mai-senpai away from you."

"The hell do you mean by that?" The monotone on the other side of the line said, its voice tinged with incredulity and anger. "I'm currently in a club with two other women that don't want nothing to do with me, and I can't just leave."

"Is your hinedere side finally showing?"

"You have never seen Hiratsuka-sensei before. I'm sure you'd feel the same. Still, it's actually quite surprising to find out that she actually likes those old shōnen manga..." As the voice continued on talking to him, Sakuta could only nod his head in slight attention while a thin smile formed on his face.

"So, the great Hachiman has a crush. I didn't know that you pined for older women, but I respect your dedication. Got to snag that forbidden fruit, right?"

"Go to hell, Sakuta."

"I'm in a relationship with a demon, so suck it." Less than a second later, Sakuta yelped, a can full of coffee impacting with his head. He bucked forward, tripping on the corner of his bed and falling face-first into his pillow, groaning in pain for a while. Considering that he hadn't heard Hachiman's voice in a while, Sakuta could only assume that he had accidentally ended the call.

Talk about bad timing...

"So, what's this about me being a demon?" Sakuta craned his neck to see his girlfriend, freshly out of the shower and currently dying her hair with a towel. She currently wore one of his shirts, the hem ending just by her knees.

Sakuta praised the gods and drank in the sight, for what it was worth. "I'm not sure what you're talking about, Mai-senpai."

"Then stop staring at my thighs. You might remember something if I killed your libido." Mai promptly replied, tossing the towel towards him and landing on his face. A defeated sigh escaped Sakuta's lips, but not before making one last comment.

"I don't think my libido would go away if you're wearing those clothes."

"So you mean to say that I need to be naked?"

"That would just make it stronger." Both of them erupted into chuckles, filling his room with laughter for a few moments before it died down. Sakuta removed the towel from his eyes and gazed at his bed's headrest, where a few framed pictures stood. Ah, might as well just tell her.

"Don't worry, senpai. I was just talking to a friend from middle school." If it did anything, it only served to put Mai's mind in the gutter. "...No, he's a male."

"You're bisexual now?"

Sakuta blinked, staring at Mai with wide eyes. A few seconds later, he blinked again, before burying his into his pillow. "Alright", he admitted as his girlfriend started laughing at him, "I admit I fell for that one, but no."

Sakuta reached out towards one of the frames, holding it out for Mai to take. She blinked, the picture of a younger Sakuta staring right into the camera with a dispassionate look on his face, and to his left...was someone who could be his twin, if it weren't for the differing hair colors. The dispassionate look that the other boy had on his face was so like Sakuta's that it looped right back around to being funny. "Before you ask, we're not twins."

"Who is he, then?" Mai asked, tilting her head to the side as Sakuta slammed his head back into his pillow and screamed. A few seconds later, Sakuta turned back to staring at her, his usual expression on his face.

"That's Hikigaya Hachiman", he said, pointing towards the boy with coal black eyes. She blinked, finding that– "His most defining feature is his dead fish eyes."

"Really?"

"Don't tell me you're not thinking of the same thing."

"At least I don't say it out loud."

"As a friend, I do believe that I have the right to tease him whenever he's not around."

"Then what about me?" Sakuta blinked, tilting his head to one side as he hummed.

"What about you?"

"Do you tease me whenever I'm not around as well?"

"Well, due to technological limitations–"

"Sakuta."

"Mai-senpai."

"I hate you."

"You don't."

"Exactly." Mai pouted, "I hate you for not being able to hate you."

Sakuta felt like he had taken a pull of pure, refined sugar. Ah, I see. So this is how I die– sugar overdose. Well, I can't say that I hate it... "Sakuta, listen to me, will you?"

Mai was pouting again. "What is it?"

"Do you think we could meet him?"

Sakuta blinked, before making sure that he steeled his face to prevent any unnecessary reactions. "...Why?" It wasn't as if Mai had any reason to acquaint herself with him, after all. Was this what jealousy felt like? Hachiman wasn't even here!

"I'd like to see you two interact with one another."

Sakuta sighed, massaging his temples as he began sketching plans that required sharing with Hachiman later. He opened his eyes, and promptly blinked at the almost unconscious reaction of his girlfriend. Did she just...? "Mai-senpai, did you just lick your lips?"

"No."

I clearly saw it though... "Are you sure?"

Mai nodded. "I mean, I'm definitely not thinking about what to do with two Sakutas. Don't mind me; go on and finish your homework."

Sakuta's mouth gaped open like a fish, and Mai promptly burst into laughter, "Y-You should've seen the look on your face, Sakuta– oof!"

The towel promptly slammed into Mai's face as Sakuta got up from his bed and sluggishly made his way towards his desk, taking the image away from his mind. Not that it would go away, damn it. "I hate you, Mai-senpai."

"Same as with you, Sakuta-kun."

Needless to say, both of them didn't really mean it.