SESSION #002
"Look at this!"
Sophie looked up just in time to see a bottle of pills being thrown in her direction, and if she didn't catch it in time, it probably would have hit her straight in the face.
"Look at what they're trying to do to me!" Parker exclaimed after bursting into Sophie's office, making erratic hand gestures. "They're trying to poison me!"
Sophie blinked at her a couple times, before looking down at the bottle in her hands. Anti-depressants. Sophie couldn't help but smirk. "Parker, close the door," she told her, and Parker closed the door, but not before folding her arms over her chest. "They're not trying to poison you, they're just pills to make you happier. Don't worry; they probably won't even start affecting you before we're out of here and you can stop taking them. So just relax."
"They're poison," Parker stresses, then starts doing the weird hand movements again to indicate her, head or at least that's what it looked like to Sophie. "They're trying to poison the bad parts in here so they die and the rest of my brain can work right."
Sophie blinks again. What was she supposed to say to that?
"You're being paranoid."
"I am not paranoid!" Parker exclaims loudly, actually offended. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say.
"Alright, alright. Sit down, for the love of God. Just sit. Please," Sophie says, pointing to the chair. Parker practically stomps over to the chair and sits, but not before starting to yell at her.
"Can't you stop it? You're my therapist! Tell them I don't need drugs!"
"Parker, I'm posing as a psychologist, I am not, nor am I even posing as a psychiatrist," Sophie told her, trying to be perfectly clear.
"What's the difference?" Parker asks, confused.
"One prescribes drugs, the other doesn't," Sophie tells her.
"Which one are you?"
"The one that doesn't!" Sophie exclaims, annoyed now. She leans back in her chair and looks at her. "Are you here for a reason? I mean one other than this?"
"Oh, yeah, right," Parker says, remembering. Then she says all too casually, "Nate's vomiting blood in the toilet near my room, it's gross."
"What?!" Sophie exclaims, sitting up now. She goes to stand up, worried now. She knew he was having withdrawal symptoms, but violent vomiting is never a good sign. Part of her was regretting doing this con, but at the same time, she knew Nate needed to have his eyes opened.
"Oh don't bother," Parker tells her in an airy voice on nonchalance as Sophie heads for the door. "They already have three man-nurse people with him. You'll just crowd up the bathroom. Plus, I think he already passed out on the toilet seat anyway."
"Orderlies," Sophie corrects, and looks out the door. Sure enough, two men were picking Nate up and carrying him into his room. Sophie sighed and rubbed her temples. First he tries to go over the wall, now this?
Sophie turns back into the room and closes the door behind her, sighing heavily again before she looks at Parker. "Anything else?" she asks in a dreary voice. It had been a long day.
"My session starts in five minutes," Parker told her seriously.
"Oh not this again," Sophie mumbles before flopping down on the patient couch instead of her chair. She covers her face in her hands, and Parker looks confused.
"Are we going to do a role reversal? Do I get to be the therapist this time?" Parker asks curiously. Sophie's about to scream. She already has a headache, and delving into the depths of Parker's mind is a task and a half as it is, plus Parker apparently has a crush on her, which in Sophie was to be honest she thinks is the only real reason why she's here… but then she has an idea.
"Sure," she tells her, taking her hands off her face and looking at her. "Sure, you can be the therapist this time."
This way, she can just relax. She likes to talk about herself anyway, and it wouldn't be half as stressful. She stretches out on couch, getting comfortable, and looks at Parker. Parker stares back, before getting up, getting Sophie's pen and paper, and taking her fake glasses – putting them on – and clears her throat. Sophie almost laughed, but suppressed it. Parker was being so serious about this. She sat back down.
"So," Parker starts, fiddling with the glasses absentmindedly which makes Sophie emit a little giggle. "Tell me about your childhood."
"Happy," Sophie states.
"That's it?" Parker asks, peering over the rim of the glasses before scribbling more on the piece of paper than just that one word.
"Not much to tell," Sophie tells her honestly. "I'm sane, this won't be too interesting."
Parker actually lets out a "HA!" at that, which makes Sophie give her a dirty look. "Everyone's a little crazy," Parker tells her, and writes more.
"Maybe to you," Sophie says, actually offended. She wasn't crazy!
"Mhm…" Parker says distracted as she writes like a freaking book. Sophie just blinks at her.
"What could you possibly be writing so much about?" she asks, sitting up on the couch, curious. She tries to peer at the notebook, but Parker clutches it to her chest.
"You don't get to read the therapist's notes," Parker chides her, before scooting back a bit and turning the notebook to an angle where Sophie couldn't see. Sophie sighs and lays back down.
"Fine."
"Tell me about Nate," Parker says, without looking up at her. Sophie rolls her eyes.
"He's a drunk, he's my boss, and we've known each other for ten years," Sophie tells her simply. She wasn't going to get into that with Parker. No way.
"And you're in love with him," Parker tells (not asks, but tells) her, still writing.
"What? No, I'm not!" Sophie exclaims, lying through her teeth. "I just fancy him."
"What does that even mean anyway?" Parker asks, finally looking at her. "Why do British people use all these weird words? Doesn't fancy mean, like… nice? Like fancy clothing?"
"Oh don't get on about how to talk," Sophie tells her, narrowing her eyes. Parker just shrugs and continues scribbling on the paper.
Sophie really wanted to know what she was writing.
"And you've never been with a woman before," Parker says, like it's supposed to be a natural question and like Sophie wasn't supposed to know her meaning behind it.
"Parker," Sophie warns gently. She didn't want to get into this again.
"Alright, alright," Parker says, making a face. "Jeez, just trying to ask questions here."
Sophie tried to contain her smile. Even though she was a it annoyed that it seemed like Parker was a bit pushy with it, she couldn't help but feel flattered and think it's a bit cute that Parker liked her. I mean, who didn't feel even a little flattered when someone had a crush on them?
"It's okay," Sophie tells her. "I'm just… you know how I feel about that. It's not going to change."
"Yup," Parker replied, but it seemed more like telling her what she wanted to hear. She continued writing in the notebook.
"I mean it," Sophie says.
"Yeah yeah, sure," Parker says, in that airy little voice she keeps using like she doesn't believe her.
"Bisexuality doesn't just pop up after forty years," Sophie continues, still trying to make her point, or maybe even defend herself.
"Nope, not at all," Parker says. That tone… Sophie wanted to make that tone illegal. It was driving her insane.
"You do get that, right?" Sophie asks, because it didn't seem like she did. Hell, Sophie knows that she doesn't.
"Oh yeah, totally," Parker agrees, nodding her head a bit as if to emphasize it, but it still doesn't sound like she does. Sophie just narrows her eyes and doesn't say anything for a bit.
"And you're okay with that?" Sophie presses finally, peering at her.
"Whatever you want to think is okay with me," Parker tells her, still writing and half ignoring her, which makes Sophie's eyes go wide. She knew Parker didn't believe her!
"Parker!" she exclaims.
"What?" Parker asks, attempting to look innocent. She finally looks up from writing.
Sophie's frustrated, and wants to yell but doesn't exactly want to yell about that since she might hurt Parker's feelings, so instead chooses to yell, "What the bloody hell do you keep writing?!"
Parker just blinks at her, before throwing her the notebook. Sophie catches it, looking down at a page filled with words. What could she have possibly wrote? She glanced up at Parker for a minute, catching her eye before she looked back down at the page. Starting at the top she started to read:
"It's gonna really start to bug you that I'm writing so much. You're really curious, and hate not knowing things so it's gonna make you mad, isn't it? I bet you're gonna yell at me to give this to you, or steal it later just so you can see what I wrote. I bet you're getting mad now that it's all nothing, and that I pissed you off for no reason, right? But you're kind of sexy when you're mad, so that's my fault. I like seeing it."
Sophie blushes a bit at that, and her eyes flicker up to Parker, who is sitting there looking at her with her expression eerily unchanged for knowing what's in the notebook.
"I bet you're gonna look at me now after you read that, or you're gonna blush or something. Am I right? See, now you're gonna get creeped out, so sorry about that ahead of time. I just like watching how you act when stuff happens because that's how I learn, and I like getting you all grr-like cause it's hot and kind of funny. You're mad at me now, aren't you? Whoops."
Sophie wasn't mad though, she was more… intrigued. Though the fact that Parker knew her reactions so well was a bit creepy, but yet at the same time a proud moment for her because she was trying to teach her how to spot those things after all. She continued to read without looking back up at Parker because she was sure her cheeks were burning red because of how she would keep calling her 'hot' and 'sexy' in the notes.
"And you're gonna get mad when you find out this isn't even time for our session, and that I just pretended it was so I could be in a room with just you. Maybe you should have checked before believing me.
You're really pretty, I like looking at you. And I like your voice, it's like a song… only it's not. It's complicated; don't ask me to explain it. I'll get confused. You look really pretty in that dress by the way, though I don't know how you can walk in those heels. Last time I tried I fell. Not in your heels, obviously. Mine. Well, ones I stole. Anyway. So I wanna do something but I don't think you'll let me, but you told me that asking is how you find out so I wanted to know if…"
And then there was nothing else: that was when Sophie interrupted her. She blinked down at the note for a moment, holding it in her hands, her cheeks still hot a bit before she finally got the courage to look Parker in the eyes. Parker just stared back at her, like it was nothing. Like all that was just… natural.
"What…?" Sophie started to say, then cleared her throat before it came out a bit strangled. "What did you want to ask me?" Sophie finally asks quietly. She was feeling… a bit odd. She couldn't describe it.
"I was wondering if you'd let me touch you," Parker says simply, which makes Sophie's eyes go wide, then Parker's once she realized how that sounded. "No! Not like that, I mean like your face and your hair and… stuff. Not private stuff. Normal stuff," Parker revises, trying to explain. But Sophie still didn't get it.
"Why?" Sophie asks. She got that she wasn't asking for something sexual, but she didn't know exactly why she wanted to do… that either.
"Because I've thought about it a lot," Parker says, which makes Sophie cock an eyebrow at her. That's an odd thing to think about.
"Uh," Sophie starts, shifting a bit on the couch before shrugging lightly. "I guess it couldn't hurt." But then she looks at her seriously and points out, "But that doesn't mean… anything, okay?"
"I know," Parker says, and smiles in a way that makes Sophie instinctively have to smile back, and she gets up and comes over to Sophie on the couch, sitting next to her. She takes off the fake glasses, setting them down next to her before she moves her hand slowly.
Sophie has no idea what exactly her plan is and what it's supposed to achieve, but she tenses nonetheless, being nervous for some reason. Maybe just because of how Parker felt about her.
But Parker just touched her cheek lightly, dragging her fingertips down over her jaw line slowly before brushing a piece of hair out of Sophie's eyes. She's smiling, looking at her in almost a childlike fascination, and that weird feeling came back that Sophie keeps randomly experiencing lately. But Parker doesn't notice any change in Sophie, just kind of plays with her hair a bit, sliding it between her fingers and twirling it around. She's looking at it, not at Sophie's face, giving Sophie the freedom to watch Parker, almost as if in fascination herself.
She had never seen anyone do this before. She was acting as if Sophie was some precious, amazing thing that just needed to be touched, needed to be delicate with.
Then Parker's fingertips are running across her cheek again, her eyes following her fingers. When she gets to Sophie's lips, Sophie closes her eyes momentarily as Parker traces them like someone would if they were drawing a picture. When she opens her eyes, Parker's hand has fallen down to Sophie's as she starts tracing over each knuckle carefully. Sophie lifts up her hand a bit for her, just staring at Parker as she acted almost like a child, like she was seeing something wonderful for the first time. Parker's hand follows Sophie's as she raises it, and then Parker's running all five of her fingertips down Sophie's lightly, before lacing their fingers together. It was Sophie who closed her hand around Parker's, just watching her. Parker smiled really big, looking at their hands.
"You're like if a painting came to life," Parker tells her, but still doesn't look at her. She's wiggling her hand softly out of Sophie's grip, so Sophie lets go so Parker can trace her fingertips over the palm of her hand, and then down her arm. She started even tracing the tiny moles and freckles Sophie had on her arm. "Like every detail was worked on carefully, to make it perfect, you know?"
Sophie blushed deep at that. If she wasn't mistaken, Parker just gave her the biggest compliment anyone has ever given her, and Parker didn't even notice. She just said it because it's what she thinks. Sophie doesn't know what to say, but that's alright because while Parker touches each mole softly before starting to play something that might be connect the dots, she goes on.
"Like this," she tells her, and plays connect the dots on her skin. "That's in the sky. I can't remember where, but I've seen it."
"There's a constellation on my skin?" Sophie asks quietly, barely above a whisper. She doesn't know why, but she can't really talk at the moment.
Probably because she didn't want to screw up the moment… for whatever it was. She didn't want to analyze it; it was just nice.
"Yeah, with the stars, see?" Parker says, and traces it again, but Sophie can't tell which one she's trying to tell her it is. Sophie nods anyway, really not wanting to speak, or analyze what it is, or argue whether it's even there. She just wants Parker to keep talking.
Parker doesn't say anything for a bit though, she just runs her finger tips down her arm and then presses her hand against Sophie's – palm to palm – and just looks at the size difference. It was slight, but it was there, Sophie's was just a tiny bit bigger than hers.
Parker giggles a bit as she looks at their hands. "We look like a cow tail."
"A what?" Sophie asks softly, looking at her confused, then back down at their hands. How did their hands look like something that should be hanging from a cows rear end?
"The candy," Parker explains, looking at their hands together. "Kind of, anyway. See? Look," she says, then uses her other hand to trace one of Sophie's fingers. "This is the caramel-y part, or whatever it is. It tastes good, I don't know. And then this," she traces her own finger. "Is the white stuff they put in the middle of them. They taste good too. I don't know what they are either."
"We look like candy to you?" Sophie asks her with a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. She couldn't help it, what Parker said was cute.
"Mhm," Parker says and nods, then laces their fingers together. Sophie holds her hand and lets it fall to her lap, and then finally Parker looks at her face.
"You're pretty," she tells her.
"You're pretty too," Sophie says with a little smile. She then chews on her bottom lip and looks down before taking a breath. This was a little weird for her. Parker was making her feel something. She didn't know what, but there was definitely a something… somewhere.
Sophie clears her throat, she doesn't know what else to do. They're still holding hands and she doesn't know if she wants her to let go.
She's getting a bit confused.
"Um…" Sophie starts, but Parker interrupts.
"I'm making you feel weird now," she says, like she knows. Sophie just nods a bit so Parker lets go of her hand. "Sorry."
"No, no… it's not…" Sophie starts, looking down before tucking her hair back behind her ear. She looks back up at her. "That was really sweet… it was. That was… probably one of the sweetest moments I've ever had in my life but I'm just… I don't think I…"
"Like me like that," Parker finishes. "I know."
"I'm sorry," Sophie says, feeling awful for some reason.
Parker just shrugs lightly, "It's okay. I know you can't ever like me."
Sophie looks at her, her eyebrows furrowed and asks, "What do you think that?" Because it sounded like it was something other than the whole girl/girl aspect of it.
"I'm crazy," Parker tells her, then smiles a bit at her, but it's not happy. More upset trying to seem okay.
"You're not crazy," Sophie tells her, putting a hand on her leg to comfort her, and Parker put her hand over Sophie's. "You're not, okay? Don't let anyone tell you that."
"You don't know me," Parker tells her bluntly, but softly. Sophie holds her hand again, just needing to comfort her a bit.
"No, maybe not. But I know what I've seen," Sophie tells her seriously. "And you don't act crazy."
"Whatever," Parker mumbles, and looks down at her sneakers.
"Hey," Sophie says quietly before putting a finger under her chin, tipping it up a bit so she could look at her. "I mean it."
They were close to each other, really close in fact, and Sophie saw just for a moment Parker's eyes look at her lips. But then she was looking her in the eyes again, and Sophie convinced herself she was imagining it, yet her heart started to pound a bit in her chest.
"Okay…" Parker says softly, and then licks her bottom lip a bit self consciously, and Sophie caught herself staring at them.
This isn't good.
They're both quiet for a moment, maybe a little longer for a moment. Sophie's hand has only moved just slightly, resting it on Parker's cheek instead of her chin. She knows she should put it down, but it would just seem so awkward if she did. Like she was trying to get away from something that couldn't be there, and that there was nothing wrong with what she was doing… so she just left it there.
"Do you really think I look like a painting?" Sophie whispers, her thumb stroking Parker's cheek like it has a mind of it's own.
Parker smiles lightly then nods a bit, just once, before saying softly, "Yeah… I do." A pause, and Parker got a little closer to her, or maybe it was Sophie that got a little closer to her. She's not sure. "Like one in a museum, the big expensive ones that are heavily guarded," Parker finishes.
That makes Sophie smile big and she looks down, almost shy. But when she brings her head back up to look at her, somehow their lips almost touched. Sophie wants to jump back, but stays where she is only because she didn't want to make Parker feel like she was freaked out by her. She wasn't. She needed to prove that… or something.
Where the hell was this logic even coming from?
Parker's breathing had picked up, and Sophie noticed it right off the bat only due to finally noticing hers had to. She could feel Parker's on her lips, and she licked them because she was sure they were starting to get dry from being so insanely nervous about… something.
Parker moves in a bit, but then stops herself right before brushing her lips against the grifter's, and she closes her eyes, like she was trying to control herself. But it wasn't that that surprised her, it was that right after she did that, Sophie did brush her lips against Parker's. Just lightly, but it happened.
Sophie didn't even know she had done it until after it had already been done.
But that made Parker do it to her, and Sophie closed her eyes. Her walls were breaking, whatever walls she bad put up there, and she mutters under her breath, "Shit." Just softly, she didn't even know if Parker could hear her. It was more to herself, and more in defeat, right before she pressed her lips fully against Parker's.
She has no idea why she just did that. She blames… the moment. Right. Just a really good… moment.
Parker parts her lips automatically, letting Sophie do the same before sliding her tongue into the brunette's mouth. Sophie heard herself moan softly at the contact, and the grip Parker had on her hand tightened. They kissed softly, tentatively, for almost a whole minute. Like testing something… like both of them were scared.
And then it was over, and Parker looks scared because she thinks Sophie's going to yell at her, and Sophie looks scared because she just kissed a woman and enjoyed it.
They both looked at each other, waiting for the other one to speak… but neither of them did.
Probably a good five whole minutes had passed until Sophie cleared her throat, looked down, letting go of Parker's hand and said, "Okay then… so…"
She didn't know what she was going to say, she just needed to stop the silence.
"Yeah…" Parker says, also not knowing what to say. She looks down at her own shoes again.
"That happened?" Sophie asks, not looking at her, but needing to confirm it.
"I think so," Parker says, like she's confused for a minute. But then she nods her head after looking like she had to replay it, and says, "Yeah."
"Right," Sophie said and bit her bottom lip. This could potentially be… bad. Or maybe good, but she was sure it was more bad than good, though didn't know why.
"Yeah," Parker says again, then blinks a bit before getting up. Sophie looked up at her finally. "I'm gonna…" Parker says, and points to the door. Leaving.
"Okay," Sophie says, not knowing what else to say. She didn't know how to make the weirdness stop, and she couldn't think straight while Parker was in the room.
"Okay," Parker says, and turns around to leave. But when she gets to the door she doesn't turn back, just requests softly, "Please don't hate me."
"Parker…" Sophie says, and gets up. She doesn't move towards her though, just tells her honestly. "I don't think I could ever hate you…"
Parker looks back at her before her hand found the doorknob, and then she was out the door, gone, closing the door behind her. Sophie sat back down on the couch heavily, shaking her head a bit to see if this was really reality.
How did that just happen?
TBC…