Unlike everything else in Takao's life, summer school does not start with him being late.

To be fair, the only reason Takao is not late for summer school is that his grandfather decided that, to make up for the kendo practice his grandson would miss, he would make Takao wake up at four in the morning, a completely inhuman time that should not exist, in order to train him the normal three hours a day he normally would. Needless to say Takao has spent the majority of his morning accusing his grandfather of child abuse, which only earned him a particularly hard hit on the head with the shinai. The fact that this was completely proving his point that kendo training at four in the morning equalled a terrible, terrible form of child abuse was ignored by his grandfather, even though Takao took pains in pointing it out approximately every five minutes or so.

Because of this, Takao is very much not late for summer school. In fact, he is early. ...In fact, he is the only one sitting in class currently, though he doesn't know whether this is because he's the only one who failed the last year of middle school or if he is just that early.

He really, really hopes it's the latter. The former is just too depressing and pathetic. Especially if even the teacher doesn't bother showing up.

"Oooh," a voice sounds out from right behind Takao, which would be impossible because he is seating at the back of the class and would have heard anyone come in unless there's a secret back door or the classroom is haunted. "The wild grasshopper that rises early catches the morning bird with its claws indeed!"

Oh, crap. The classroom is haunted by the ghost of metaphors that make no sense.

"W-what?" Takao exclaims, shooting up so fast the chair clatters behind him, turning around to face ... thin air.

I am going to die, Takao thinks, eyes wide and heart hammering in his chest, I am going to die killed by the ghost of the middle schooler with the voice of an old man who couldn't remember common sayings.

The thought is incredibly depressing.

"The giraffe that only looks at the leaf far up the tree misses the juicy berries of wisdom dangling below his neck," the voice tells him mysteriously.

Takao refuses to tell the voice that 'juicy berries of wisdom dangling' sounds incredibly, incredibly wrong. One rule Takao has learned from slightly camp horror movies: you don't offend the disembodied voice of a ghost, no matter how ridiculous it sounds. No matter how confident you are that ghosts do not haunt middle schools in at eight thirty in the morning in the summer, because maybe this is the vengeful spirit of People Who Get Up Ridiculously Early In the Summer. So instead of mentioning how wrong 'juicy berries of dangling wisdom' or whatever it was sounds, Takao asks:

"What does that mean?" In a completely awed voice, as if he cares for any other reason than not offending the voice and so not dying by cause of the lamest ghost he has heard of since Candlej-- Oh, right, can't say his name.

"Hmmmm... Not the brightest bulb in the crayon box, this one. It means look down, boy," the voice says in deadpan yet amused tone, and so Takao does, expecting to see a message of nutsy wisdom written in blood on the floor (something like 'seven days ... seven lottery numbers... and I'm not tellin' unless you give me a virgin sacrifice', maybe, and Takao realizes then that the horror movies he watches are really bad, even for camp movies). Instead, he sees a small, practically midget old man wearing weird brown and orange clothing. The old man has a flush on his face that makes Takao wonder if it's possible to get drunk before nine am, and how much of an alcoholic you have to be to be so drunk at nine the morning that you wind up at the local middle school. Which is currently empty save for Takao and what used to be the fiercest-- and only-- ghost Takao had ever seen.

As always, Takao's life is just never that interesting. Damn.

"... Uh. Hello?" Takao says, uncertainly, because what do you say to tiny old alcoholic men infiltrating your local middle school (in the summer!) and try to impart you with words of wisdom that make absolutely no sense at all?

Well, apparently, Takao believes you say hello, though the general consensus is that you do not talk to strangers, especially not drunk and crazy strangers.

"Hello!" The strangers repeats, a wide grin on his face. "It is nice to see the youthful face of happy students so early in the morning! Though you might have forgotten, but it is summer. Shoo, shoo, fly like the spider hanging from its web of freedom into the mouth of the awaiting tiger!"

Takao, who thinks he looks particularly miserable, not happy, takes offence to... whatever it is the old man said that might have made sense had Takao also been drunk and senile. Unfortunately Takao is young and sober, and so he has no idea what the man said except it might be something like "it's summer, go back home and leave the school world alone for the next two months".

There is nothing Takao wants more than to do just that, but the fact is that he can't. Freedom being dangled in front of his face does not make it any better. Takao scowls and crosses his arms against his chest, puffing out his cheeks, irritated.

"I know it's summer," he snaps, hitting the floor with his feet like a three year old having a temper tantrum. "I'm here for summer school!"

It doesn't have the effect of shutting the old man up Takao had hoped, possibly because there is nothing impressive about a freshly-fifteen year old who failed ninth grade. The old man instead looks interested now, and Takao strongly regrets not having brought pepper stray to school. Or a bat with nails, which would be manlier. Manliness is always important when fending off attackers.

"Oho~," the old man says with a chuckle that sounds mightily creepy. Takao can practically hear the would-be tilde in the guy's speech. He is never going to call his grandfather weird ever again. At least his grandpa doesn't leer at him. "So you, wild spirit of the wind, are the first out of the grand number of two students I am teaching it would seem! I applaud you, though I must warn you: even the smallest of teachers has fangs, and you will find this master of all things scholarly to be particularly fangy! Ha ha ha ha!"

Takao stares at the laughing old man with a growing sense of dread. Also, a growing headache. Said headache is, by now, pretty much equal to the size of the Tokyo Tower.

"Woah, woah, back up there," Takao tells the man, completely incredulous. "Are you trying to tell me you're the summer school teacher?"

"Oooh, yes, indeed I am my little bumblebee! The proud summer school instructor of two very special students indeed, though it seems we are lacking one, and two minus one is only one! We are missing another one, though if you put two ones side by side that makes eleven, and that is not the number this class will have. That number is two. See, we have barely started and already I am teaching you! Yes, yes, you will learn quickly and muchly this summer, I can see it."

There is a pause as both old man and Takao stare at each other.

"'Scuse me for a second," Takao tells the midget mental asylum for senior citizens escapee and moves to the wall before starting to repeatedly bang his head against it.

It does nothing to soothe his headache, but maybe if he manages to knock himself unconscious he will wake up from a coma ten years later and then grandpa will be sorry he ever made him come to summer school early. Or at the very least it lets him blow off some steam.

Thump.

There is absolutely no way that guy is his teacher. Also, it's statistically impossible that only two people would need summer school, never mind the school staying open only for the two stupidest students in the universe if they are the only two who needed it.

Thump.

His teacher is an insane little old man slash faux-ghost who probably couldn't teach a dog how to sit for a treat. His entire future is based on a midget who probably ran away to the circus when he was a boy and was later abandoned by said circus when they found out how completely crazy he was.

Thump.

"Yes, the wall-to-head banging is a very good way to let off steam," the old man tells him, completely unbothered by Takao's sudden wish to give himself a concussion and kill off his remaining brain cells. "It makes everything happy in your head!"

Thump.

He was doomed. Completely, totally, absolutely, utterly, doomed.

Thump.

"You may need to watch out for flying wall residues if you hit your head too hard, though. You might hurt somebody with them."

Thump.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Elsewhere, still in the same building but far, far away from the classroom where Takao was currently working on putting himself in a coma in the slowest way possible, Principal Daitenji is having a conversation with a middle school legend: Kai Hiwatari. . . . A middle school legend for all the wrong reasons, mind, but a middle school legend nonetheless.

"Now, Kai," Principal Daitenji starts, wiping the sweat off his brow with a handkerchief as he escorts the most reluctant teenager he has ever had the pleasure to know to his summer school classroom. "I know this may seem unnecessary to you, but I can't let you take the examinations if you did not attend your classes. I don't want to fail you, boy, and I'm sure you don't want to drop before at least finishing middle school."

Kai looks at him with a stare that is clearly meant to say 'actually, I don't give a fuck', but Principal Daitenji is the official principal of every school in Bey City (it is an overly excessive job, actually; he should probably ask for an assistant...) and has thus gotten extremely apt at ignoring teenagers' dark looks. He has Russians in his school, after all.

Daitenji dabs at his brow again, sighing. "Well, whether or not you want to, the law is still the law. You're obliged to attend and finish middle school. Plus," Daitenji hesitates at this point, not really wanting to say what he was about to, "Your grandfather . . ."

Kai shrugs abruptly, the motion looking more like the jerk of a shoulder as the boy stares pointedly in front of him. "Whatever," he mutters viciously, and Daitenji decides to leave that subject alone.

"There's one other boy with you," Daitenji continues, feeling slightly more confident. "He's probably already waiting for you in the classroom with your teacher; I'm sure you'll get along splendidly."

Again, Kai shoots his principal a look as he shoves his hands in his pockets, scoffing. This one obviously means 'you are delusional and need to get a mental health check'. Daitenji does not bother changing it to 'I hope you get along', because that is probably far too personal for Kai's liking. Still, Daitenji is certain the boy only needs a friend or two to straighten him up.

Daitenji stops in front of a classroom (at the far, far end of the school, for some reason unknown to him but specified by the teacher, and while Tao is a wonderful colleague he can be a bit . . . special, in his own right) and beams at Kai.

"Ah, here we are," he says and opens the door.

The scene that greets them is, let's just say, slightly odd.

To begin, Takao Kinomiya is currently banging his head against the wall, which cannot possibly be good for, well, anything. Worse, the responsible adult in the room is currently encouraging him to keep doing it because it will 'let the demons out'.

Daitenji genuinely hopes Tao has not been drinking again.

"My goodness, what's going on here?" Daitenji demands.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Takao hadn't heard the door open -- it is terribly difficult to hear anything when you are trying to forcibly put yourself in a coma by way of thumps, let me tell you. He does, however, hear the extremely familiar voice of Principal Daitenji, which causes him to swivel around, both in shock at someone sane being present and because he was really hoping someone would stop him before the bruise on his forehead got any bigger.

It must be the size of his face by now. It at least hurts like it.

"Principal!" Takao exclaims, almost giddily. His eyes widen in a plea he has practiced on his grandfather and friends and basically anyone who would look at him for years. "Please tell me you're here to tell me this was all a horrible, horrible mistake and I can go home and there will be no more summer school ever."

Takao has the sentiment that he is probably not that lucky, but it doesn't hurt to hope.

"Hum . . . Takao, it seems you've already made acquaintance with your teacher, Tao," Daitenji begins, and with that single sentence crushes all of Takao's hopes. It turns out it does hurt to hope. Horribly. Takao visibly deflates and interrupts his principal, outraged and panicked.

"You mean he's seriously my teacher?! But Mr D! That guy's drunk!"

Daitenji wipes the sweat off his brow in a nervous gesture all the students of Bey City can interpret perfectly, be they aged five or eighteen. "No, I'm afraid that's his natural disposition," Daitenji admits with a short laugh.

"Principal, it is as always an honour to see you shining like a pair of shoes in a bowling court," Tao, which is apparently Crazy Old McNugget's real name, says happily. Daitenji shakes his head slightly and coughs in his fist, shooting a disapproving look at Tao.

"I'd really rather you didn't try to confuse your students this early on in the day. Or at all, for that matter. This isn't one of your usual classes; you're only here to make sure these boys get the education they need. Even then, they're old enough to be left alone with the work to be done. There's no need for anything more than that."

Daitenji says all this with a slight scolding tone in his voice, the kind a teacher uses to warn his students to behave properly with the new substitute teacher. As that tone of voice never works, Takao is not reassured. Like, at all. Tao however simply smiles his creepy near-toothless smile and nods.

"Yes, of course, of course. One must learn with one's peer before moving on to fish bigger fries!"

Takao demands a Tao to normal people dictionary. It has got to exist. How else does the principal know what that guy is saying?

"Right," Daitenji responds, sounding extraordinarily pleased for a guy who is leaving Takao's education in the hands of a madman who probably crossdresses in his spare time. While wearing a chicken suit. "Now, I'll leave you boys to your studies; I have a lot of work to do, and I'm sure you can introduce yourselves to each other on your own."

Daitenji gives a short nod of goodbye to both Tao and Takao, lifting his hat up slightly the way gentlemen do in old movies. He does the same to someone right behind him before leaving, and this is when Takao realises that the second student of summer school (and the fact that there really are only two students in this summer school is incredibly pathetic still) has been standing there all along. Takao didn't even notice the guy.

Now that he gets a good look at him, he's not sure how he didn't. The guy has two toned hair, of all things. And what looks like either facial tattoos or make-up on his face. He's also wearing this really long white scarf in the summer. All in all, not your average kind of guy. He's probably a punk who thinks the scarf makes him look though or something.

Heh, I bet you're suffering of heat stroke, Takao thinks meanly, and almost misses Tao's witch cackle like laugh.

Almost, because it is a witch cackle laugh and it terrified him deep in his bones in a way nothing else has ever terrified him. Except maybe that time he thought there was a ghost in the school... when was that?

Oh, right. About ten minutes ago.

"Well, well. It's a pleasure to meet the ever elusive Kai Hiwatari, and have him enter a classroom of mine is certainly no small feat, hmm? Many have tried, but all have failed~ isn't that how it goes?"

The guy is called Kai, it seems. The name Kai Hiwatari seems familiar, but Takao has never seen this guy before, so he must be mistaken. Kai doesn't move to acknowledge Tao's weird comment (how elusive can a middle schooler -- who failed, to booth-- possibly be?) and simply stares at both of them levelly, without any kind of emotion on his face. Well, this guy's probably not invited to parties for his social skills. It looks like it's up to Takao's awesome human interaction powers to save the day, Takao decides, and completely ignores that he has no awesome human interaction powers. He also ignores that it would probably be the lamest superpower in the known universe. It is cool to him. He goes up to Kai, thrusting a hand in front of him with a wide grin.

"Yo! I'm Takao Kinomiya. Looks like we'll be partnered up a lot this summer, huh?" Takao punctuates his 'joke' with a forced laugh, trying to make the Hiwatari-wall-person budge.

He gets an eyebrow raise for his efforts as the guy simply moves to walk past him without a word, leaving Takao standing there stupidly, gawking. Kai takes a seat at the far corner of the room, near the window. It is also the seat completely opposite Takao's, giving him an entire row of empty desks between them.

Well, this guy is going to be fun, Takao thinks sarcastically to himself, crossing his arms with a huff as he looks pointedly away from Jerkity McJerkJerk.

"Aaah, yes," Tao says with a smile, "I can smell the budding of a wonderful friendship exploding between the two of you. Now sit down, it is time for learning, young caterpillars!"

Whatever drug Tao takes, Takao wants some. It's the only way he'll be able to cope with this summer.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Summer school, it turns out, is a lot less like normal school than it should be. For a start, all the material is given to Kai and Takao in the form of exercise workbooks with all the explanations inside. Tao then proceeded to vanish from class for varying periods of 5 minutes to three hours (okay, more like one, but still); in which all Takao had to do to unbore himself was his pile of workbooks.

Kai, for his part, has been staring out the window the entire morning. The guy hasn't even touched his workbooks. Takao's pretty sure he hasn't even moved since their 'work day' started. By now, he's convinced Kai's asleep. He can't tell if the guy's eyes are closed since he's turned away from him, but there is no other possible explanation unless the other boy is made of rock or something.

It's ten minutes before lunch break when Takao decides to prove his 'Kai-is-currently-sleeping-please-leave-a-message-after-the-glare' theory. Tao has disappeared again, probably reading fortune cookies translated from Chinese to Japanese to Hebrew back to Chinese or something, meaning Kai and Takao are all alone in the classroom. Also, it's ten minutes before lunch break; there is no possible way Takao can concentrate on anything when he is starving to death.

Takao rises up from his desk, walking towards Kai's own. The other boy doesn't move, still seemingly looking out the window. Takao stops next to Kai's seat, tilting his head to try to see if Kai is sleeping. Kai's head is tilted down in a way that makes his bangs shadow his eyes, which means Takao has no clue whether or not he's sleeping. Takao puffs out his cheeks in annoyance.

Is everything this guy does made to annoy him?

Takao moves his hand up to shake Kai by his shoulder, ever so slowly...

"Don't touch me," a deep voice growls out, and Takao jumps and wrenches his hand away before even realising that Kai was the one who just spoke. Okay, so maybe he wasn't sleeping.

"Just making sure you're still alive," Takao tells him, crossing his arms with a huff. "Sorry for caring. You always this grouchy when you wake up?"

Kai turns to look at him, eyes narrowed. "I'm always grouchy when I'm dealing with idiots who don't understand the simple concept of leaving me alone."

Some people have sticks up their asses. Takao decides Kai has an entire forest in there. Of course now that Kai has said something like that, he can't leave well enough alone.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," Takao jests, rolling his eyes. "What happened, your mom doesn't approve of you using her make-up?"

The response is instantaneous.

One second Takao is standing next to Kai while the other is sitting; the next he is being held up almost a foot above the ground by his collar as Kai's chair clatters to the floor. Kai's eyes are narrowed into slits, but there's not even a sneer on his face as he regards Takao's wide eyed look.

"I think you didn't understand me," Kai speaks, tone of voice completely even despite Takao's current not-touching-the-floor position. "I'll enunciate it for you. Don't. Bother. Me." He drops Takao to the floor unceremoniously after this and Takao is still reeling from shock.

What the fuck just happened there?

"Unless you don't particularly value your life," Kai adds, shrugging casually. He stalks out of the classroom, his long white scarf swishing behind him, just as Tao enters and the lunch bell rings.

Takao stares at Kai's back as he walks out, still flopped on the ground, completely bewildered.

"Aaah, yes. The buzzing bees of friendship are hard at work here, it seems!" Tao exclaims.

And, even though Takao thinks there is absolutely no way in the world he and Kai will ever be friends, something else is indeed buzzing in him. It's his curiosity.

It's more than the guy just bugging him. Now, he needs to know.

Kai Hiwatari, Takao vows, silently, I will figure you out.

Of course Takao takes bodily violence as a challenge.

"Does my buzzing student know it's lunch break, hmm?" Tao asks, humming as he takes a bite of his sandwich.

Ooooooh, lunch.

"Kai later," Takao mutters as he shoots to his feet and runs. "Lunch first!"

Tao is left alone in the classroom and he smiles secretly around his tea cup.

"Takao Kinomiya and Kai Hiwatari . . . what an odd pair you chose, Principal Daitenji."

This chapter . . . is ridiculous.

There is sincerely NOTHING ELSE I can say about it; as you can see the only remotely serious character so far is Kai, and he has decided that since this chapter was parallel to chapter one, he was very much Not Going To Bother Talking Go Away.

I like the first half of the chapter best. Even though I wrote it with approximatively two hours of sleep. . . uhm.

I know I said no g-rev characters until year 3, but Tao is my exception because they do not . . . meet. Adults in season 3. Except for like, the bladebreakers' family, which is completely useless to me. (Randomly, they are twelve year olds in season 1. Why are they travelling through the world alone???) Also, there is a terrible "damn straight" "not literally" kind of bad joke in there. Yay.

Finally, Tao is in your base, foreshadowing you. :) Yay.

Enjoy!

-Zia