The Loud House

It was just an average day at the Loud House. And by average, I meant noisy. Everyone was busy with their own things to do. However, with twelve people in the house, it's gets really chaotic for something so mundane.

Laverne was watching the live MotoGP on the plasma screen since none of his eleven younger siblings were using the television. It was a miracle that the family could afford such an expensive television. Since mom was a dentist and dad worked in the office, the figures were lining up nicely. However, one has to wonder what kind of office dad works at. Eh, as long as the money is rolling. They weren't rich. Only middle class. The only drawbacks were that while they manage to get into the income, mom's job pays more yet her pay is monthly. Dad's has a weekly pay and if lucky, he might get a bonus.

Right now, the race was currently in the final lap.

"In a family with twelve kids, it's a mixed bag when it comes to being the oldest. That's my life, apparently. However, you'd be more overwhelmed with the fact that the majority of the household is full of girls."

Laverne sighs.

"It was amazing that Lincoln was a boy since there would be a chance of advantage. I actually hoped for another brother. However, it was naught when five more girls were born. I wondered if there was some sort of cycle that went on Every five girls, a boy is born. Eh, I'll debunk that theory if mom and dad get another child. Despite that, it's all cool. I mean, I've been away from this house for four years (minus the semester breaks) and I'm doing whatever I can to spend time with my siblings. However, there have been some...results."

He smirks.

"How about we start from the oldest?"

Lori:

"Lori is considered to be more responsible than I am due to my absence. However since my return, I have to share babysitting duty with her. Whatever good that does since she's got a fierce temper."

"Alright, front and center!" Lori exclaimed as the younger siblings lined up in a straight line. Lori was dressed up in military gear as she stood next to a very sheepish Laverne.

"Listen up, you maggots! Mom and dad are out, so that leaves me in charge of you all. You are to behave and stay in your rooms until dinner! Is that clear?" she barked.

All the younger siblings grumbled as they all went back up. Laverne looked at his sister.

"Lori, don't you think that's a bit harsh?" he asked.

"They need to be disciplined. Without it, they're going to cause chaos." she answered stoically.

"Yeah, but they're your siblings," Laverne reasoned.

"Wasn't it you that suggested I get tips from Full Metal Jacket?" Lori questioned.

"I said to find inspiration, not follow it!" He argued back.

This went back and forth as their younger siblings peeked out to witness the argument.

Lori turned around and glared at them. "What did I tell you all?!"

Immediately, they went back to their rooms as they continued to argue.

"So far, there's a bit of vitriol right there. I missed the old days."

Leni:

"I'm surprised that Leni doesn't try to usurp Lori's command. Then again, she's got a big heart."

Leni was looking for something as Laverne was channel surfing.

"Hey, Verny? Have you seen my sunglasses anywhere? I might have lost them somewhere." She asked.

Laverne stared at her. "They're on top of your head."

Leni moves her hand to her head. Sure enough, they were there.

"Wow, you've got, like, a really good eye!" She awed.

Laverne raised an eyebrow.

"Though, she can be a bit slow sometimes. I can see why the parents leave Luna in charge instead if Lori was out."

Luna:

"Speaking of that rocker gal, Luna's really chilled and laid back. However, when she witnesses the strum of a guitar or the beat of a drum, she becomes wild like a werewolf on a full moon. Hehe, get it?"

Laverne and Luna were walking around the mall, browsing around. Suddenly, Luna finds something that catches her eye.

An all-new guitar manufactured and used by Reef Rickards, the lead guitarist of Mick Swagger's band.

"Dude, c'mon! I gotta see this!" Luna exclaimed as she dragged her oldest brother to the guitar store.

In the shop, Luna was carrying the plugged guitar to try out. Laverne and the shopkeeper were witnessing the test run.

Luna began to strum the first song she had in her head. Later, in transitioned into shredding with a guitar solo.

Laverne and the shopkeeper looked impressed. However, that expression turned into worry as Luna was too into it. The shredding became so extreme that she finished the song with...

SMASH! THWACK! BANG!

A guitar smash.

"GOOD NIGHT, ROYAL WOODS! WOO!" Luna yelled with the devil horns sign

Laverne had a look of horror while the shopkeeper was enraged.

"That guitar had cost twelve thousand dollars. Dad was livid."

Luan:

"Luan's aspiring to be a real comedian. While she does mean well and have good intentions, she can sometimes go a bit overboard."

Laverne was walking to the kitchen to get something to eat from the fridge. When he opened it...

SPLAT!

He was greeted with a pie to the face. Luan popped out from the corner.

"Hey Verne! I see that you got the surPIEs!" She quipped as she laughed heartily as the victim of the prank deadpanned.

"I had to wash off the pie and gagworthy pun off my face."

Lynn:

"Lynn is a very athletic tomboy who has a penchant of being active. Everything she does is a sport and out of all of us, she's the most competitive out of all of us. Which means she has an aggressive streak."

The Loud family were watching one of Lynn's soccer games. This was the tournament finals for U-15 Women's Soccer. She was dribbling the ball through the field as she tried to avoid oncoming opposing players. She was on fire in the game.

However, there was a huge surprise when an opposing player slide tackled her down and stole the ball. Lynn quickly got up and ran for the possession, enraged that the referee didn't see that. In retaliation, she began to sprint and deliver a sliding tackle of her own.

BEEP!

The referee went up to her and gave her a red!

"A red?! C'mon ref! That's baloney!" Lynn exclaimed as she began to argue with the official. "Verne, tell him that she tackled first!"

Laverne facepalmed.

"Surprisingly, Lynn has the third worst temper of the family. Second goes to Lori, considering that she had the most stress from the family antics. However if you compare their temper within a distance, Lynn can be calm. The only problem is that she's stubborn. But the worst temper? Well, we'll get to that later."

Lincoln:

"I'm really glad that we've got another boy in the family. Lincoln turned out to be a very charming kid since he's got the charisma. He's the only one to have white hair. It was supposed to be blonde, but there was something about a non-fatal condition he got from Grandpa Albert (or Pop-Pop). Maybe when I nab a place of my own, he'll be the man of the house. Until then, he's still the little man I know."

Laverne was busy writing one of those dreadful semester papers in the living room as he tried to get a passing grade. He could hear the steps from upstairs coming down. It seemed that someone was in a rush.

"Laverne, I need your help with something!" Lincoln requested as he tried to recover his breath.

The older boy turned around. "What is it?"

"I need to build a bottle rocket for workshop tomorrow. Mom and dad are out and I need a test run," Lincoln explained.

Laverne tilted his head and got up from the couch. "Show it to me."

The white-haired boy showed his older brother the materials. The horizontally cut water bottle and some cardboard were in his hands. Laverne rubbed his chin in thought.

"We can work with this," he affirmed.

Later, they were outside the front yard as they began to launch their bottle rocket. "Ready, Linc?" Laverne asked. He got an eager nod as an answer.

"Three...two...one..."

Lincoln pressed the button.

"BLAST OFF!"

The bottle rocket flew up into the sky. Lincoln was marveled while Laverne looked impressed.

"I'm totally bound to ace this class!" Lincoln exclaimed.

"I remember when I tested my own first bottle rocket," Laverne reminisced.

"Where do you think it's gonna land?" The boy asked.

CRASH!

"LOUD!" yelled an irate Mr. Grouse.

Both boys flinched and ran back into the house.

"You still have another bottle, right?" Laverne asked.

"The only difference between me and Lincoln is that he's got a plan. I tend to improvise."

Lucy:

"Lucy has a habit of popping up at the most inopportune time. She always hangs out in the vents to write her poetry or read gothic literature. However, she's also a very passive person, so it's more relaxing with her around."

Laverne was busy typing out an essay on the family computer. He had to finish before the deadline. He was so concentrated on it that he didn't notice his surroundings.

"Laverne."

The boy blinked and turned around to see his gothic sister, Lucy, with a piece of paper in her hand.

"What's up, Lucy? I've gotta finish this paper," he inquired.

"I need your help with this poem. Lincoln's poetic prowess is currently not within this destination, but your stoic demeanor can handle the darkness contained within," she answered.

Laverne raised an eyebrow. "Sure, why not?"

Lucy begins to read her poem.

"It is a night of darkness, a song of death,
wolves vent their cry. The eternal one
stirs.

Evil shrouds her stalking form,
a timeless desire.

Her raven hair cascades over
pale shoulders, and her
full red lips part slightly, to taste the
blood streaming from the
pale flesh beneath
her.

Now a night of taking,
I weep."

As she finished reading her poem, she looked at her older brother for confirmation.

"Let me guess, vampires?" Laverne asked, emotion unchanged.

A long silence.

"Sigh," she said. "Your analytical observations never cease to amaze me."

"Her poems are pretty easy to understand. Look for the key words and you'll know what kind of poem she is reading out. Also, her saying out sounds like 'sigh' and 'groan' are adorable to an extent. She has a habit of popping out of nowhere since many people seemed to forget her. However, it isn't hard to remember her. She's the one that has dark clothing and black hair. Still, wasn't she a brunette?"

Lana:

"Lana enjoys getting down and dirty. Whether it would be literally or figuratively, she enjoys playing with the mud. Despite that, she's got a really good heart like Lincoln."

Laverne was busy washing his motorcycle. With a few wipes and cleansing, it should look good as new.

SPLAT!

Laverne was startled by the sudden splat on his bike. He turned around to see the culprit, Lana. She was whistling a tune. That was the sign of a redhanded perp.

"It's on, Lana," Laverne declared as he began to chase the girl around the house. She was laughing while throwing set-up mudpies at her oldest brother. The young man grinned as he took each hit of the mud.

"She's also a handyman. For someone so young, she's a better plumber than dad. Still, she's a huge contrast from her twin sister, Lola."

Lola:

"Lola's a little miss pageant queen whose kept up a reputation for two years. She's got a really prissy attitude and a penchant for cleanliness. However, you don't want to get her mad. She's got the worst temper out of all of us and her skills in manipulation make things worse."

Laverne was reading a vehicular magazine. Right now, he was in the motorcycle section, admiring the new Hakuchou model manufactured by Shitzu.

"Now that's a motorcycle," he admired. He enjoyed his current bike, but there was no rule about ogling other motorcycles.

"Oh, Verney!" Lola called out, causing the young man to put down his magazine.

"Hm?"

"I was wondering if you would like to attend my tea party?" she asked with a huge smile. Laverne took a quick look at her eyes. He knew what was inside. She might be smiling, but those eyes said that he would regret something if he rejected.

"Sure," Laverne complied as the pageant queen squealed in joy as she grabbed his hand to drag him upstairs.

"Still, she's just a kid who wants playmates. Lola means well and knows how to be grateful once in a while. I guess for all the spoilt treatment she receives from the parents, she's learned manners."

Lisa:

"Lisa is the child prodigy of this house. In every season (or semester if you're measuring in school terms), she's graduated. Springtime, she's done nursery and kindergarten all-together. In summer, she's done elementary. Then in autumn, she's finished middle school. And finally in winter, she's already a valedictorian in high school. I wondered how she always got this smart, though her experiments are quite questionable."

Laverne was in Lisa and Lily's bedroom, waiting for Lisa to finish preparing a test. Everyone was out of the house since the parents are at work and the other siblings have school. Laverne had an off-day and Lily was in her crib, also watching the experiment. There was a mouse in a cage, looking rather docile.

"Um, Lisa? What's this experiment?" Laverne asked as he looked around the room.

"I have created a formula that would enhance the capabilities of an average living organism." Lisa explained, her lisp showing. "I have implanted a droplet in this piece of cheese. Once the mus musculus consumes it, we will witness the effects."

"And you need my help, why?" Laverne inquired. He didn't mind aiding her experiments as long as none of the siblings or house pets were involved.

"I need you to observe these changes while I record it down my notepad," Lisa answered.

"Alright," he shrugged as Lisa dropped the cheese through the mouse's cage. The little critter took a whiff become nibbling on it. As it did, it had suddenly stopped as it began shaking.

"It's shaking," he informed Lisa, who was writing it down. Suddenly, he squinted at the mouse. "It's eyes turned red."

"Fascinating. It seems to be exhibiting increase in body temperature," Lisa mused as she continued to write. Wait a minute. Laverne thought about it. Red, as in seeing red. Hot-blooded into...anger.

The brother blanched in horror.

Outside, dad and the other siblings had returned home as he parked Vanzilla right outside the garage. Just before they got off, they noticed Laverne running out of the house while carrying both Lisa and Lily by each side of his waist. He had a panicked look on his face.

"What's Verne doing with Lisa and Lily?" Lincoln wondered, which summed up the thoughts of the occupants in the car.

The oldest sibling of the Loud House ran to the opposite direction. In an instant...

CRASH!

A giant rat crashed out of the front door and chased after the fleeing young adult.

The looks of shock and horror the witnesses had were priceless.

"Sure, she was a super genius. However, this caused her to grow a little ego in her head that made her make countless mistakes. Her experiments were akin of a mad scientist's."

Lily:

"Innocent Lily. Only a one year old baby. She always carried a blanket and doesn't cry like most babies. However, I think she enjoys the chaos around the house. However, we've gotta do something about her habit of getting naked and flinging her diapers."

"Alright, Lily. Hold still while I change your diaper." Laverne said as he was about to prepare as if he was about to defuse a timebomb.

"Poopoo," Lily cooed, her adorable huge smile plastered on her face.

Carefully, he began to remove the used diaper, clean her up, powder her bottom and place a fresh clean diaper on her. It was slow and steady process, but he needed to be delicate with a small little infant like her.

Finally, she was good as new in her clean diaper.

"Phew," Laverne let out a breath of relief. "Mission accomplished!"

The diaper flew into his face.

"Poopoo," Lily giggled as she ran around the house.

"Not quite," Laverne mumbled out as he began to chase the baby.

"I hope she quickly becomes potty trained soon."

"In fact, one of the downsides of sharing a bathroom is that you have to wait for your turn. In fact, it gets worse with eleven occupants."

He began to look around and smirk.

"The thing is, I'm the only one who thought of using the parents's bathroom when they're out of the house. And nobody else knows."

Laverne rested his arms behind his head.

"Still, even though we all have our differences, the love is right there."

"Hey, Verne! Whatcha watching?" Lincoln asked as he sat next to his brother.

"The MotoGP. It's the finals and I'm hoping Team Kawasaki gets the 1st place," Laverne answered.

"How many teams are there in the MotoGP? Sounds like a hassle to count," Lori asked as she arrived to join them while texting her boyfriend. Soon, the other sisters joined in as well.

"More like a FASTle," Luan joked as everyone groaned at that pun.

"Ooh! Look at those clothes they're wearing. They look so colorful," Leni said in awe.

"Those are jumpsuits, Leni," Laverne said. "And each color represents their teams."

"I like the one in 66th place. I hope he wins," Lucy said.

"The black motorcycle?" Laverne asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes," was all the goth said.

"Ugh, none of them have pink. This contest lacks variety," Lola criticized.

"Well, who on Earth would wanna ride a pink motorcycle in a competition like this?" Lana argued, causing her twin to growl.

"Imagine if this race was rocking with some background tunes," Luna mused.

"That would be badass, and they do have musical performances at intervals." Laverne said. "Mick Swagger's band performed last year."

"I know," Luna grinned. She remembered it. It was as epic as Mick's other concerts. Heck, she even saw one of the motorcycles fly over them in an epic loop-de-loop.

"Hey, I bet that I could run faster than any of these bikes," Lynn said, imagining herself outrunning a motorcycle.

"Impossible. No human is capable of outrunning something as light and fast as a motorcycle," Lisa interjected.

"Wanna bet on it?" Lynn challenged.

"I have the intelligence of an adult and you're challenging my knowledge with a bet?" Lisa questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Too chicken to admit it, Lise?" Lynn goaded.

"Very well, then. I accept your futile challenge," the resident genius said before turning to Laverne. "I will need you to ride your motorcycle."

"Tomorrow. I've gotta watch this race before I prepare dinner," the oldest brother said. He was sure that they'll eventually forget about this.

"What's for dinner?" Lynn asked, forgetting the bet immediately.

"With the current supplies we have, I'd say enough to make lasagna," Laverne answered as he looked back at the kitchen.

His siblings got excited over this. Lasagna was pretty much once in a month since it would take a lot of ingredients to make this.

"Maybe I can help," Lincoln offered.

"Sure, the more helping hands, the faster we can eat," Laverne stated.

"With eleven siblings, it can be a handful. However, I think it's a blessing. For all reasons."