Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Edward *tear* ...

anyway here is chapter one.

"Jake?" I asked

Could it be him? No. It couldn't be him, he was gone, I must be just seeing things in the dark, but then i heard his voice.

"Hey Bella, where have you been? I've been waiting for you for over an hour." He was just standing there in the middle of the forest. Why would i be meeting him in a forest? That only went through my mind for a second. I was so happy to see him nothing else matter. I launched myself into his arms and started kissing him with all the fierceness I could. At first he was suprised, but then his lips started moving with mine.

I moved my arms around his neck, moving one hand to his cheek, but something was off, It didn't feel right. I pulled back to look at him, and he was covered in blood and his skin was burnt all over.

"J..Jake?" I asked backing away with tears running down my cheeks. I watched as his body crumpled to the ground in front of me.

I shot straight up in bed, covered in sweat and tears. It was just a dream. The same dream I have had every night since Jacobs funeral. For the past couple of weeks I have been waking up screaming and crying.

I slowly pulled myself out of bed and stumbled my way into the bathroom. Turning on the shower I took off my sweatpants and Jakes shirt, i haven't been able to wear anything else, they still smell like him. I climbed into the shower. After washing my hair and bathing in a trance, I slid down the wall of the shower to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest.

I sat there with the water running over me, crying, for what felt like hours.

I was so out of it I barely heard the shower turn off and felt a towel wrap around me. I knew some one was helping me to my bed but i really didn't care who it was.

When i woke up some time later, i was in my bed, with one of Jake's shirts on. I was wrapped up in a pair of tiny arms. I looked up finally curious as to who it was.

"Alice? What are you doing here?" I asked shocked.

"Well you didn't think we would let you go through this alone did you?" She asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"What do you mean 'we', Alice?" I asked catiously, knowing full well what the answer would be.

She confirmed my fears. "Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, and myself, of course." Great now i was have an audiance when i broke down.

Alic is my bestfriend, has been since elementary school. Edward is her twin brother and Jacob's bestfriend. Emmett is their big brother. Rosalie and Jasper are twins and the same age as Emmett. Jasper and Alice have been together since... well forever, and so have Rosalie and Emmett.

Jake and I met through Alice and Edward. One night in middle school i was having a sleepover with Alice at her house, and Jake was staying the night with Edward. We've been together ever since.

"I hope you don't mind, I let myself in. I knocked, but you didn't answer so i used the spare key to get in." She said sheepishly.

I looked at her and rolled my eyes. "Alice, you know I don't care just as long ar you're here. I'm just curious though. How did you know where the key was? You've never been here before."

"It was in the same place that you used to hide it in Forks, under the pot of flowers by the door." Was her response.

I currently live in Nevada. Jake was stationed here about a year ago. Before we moved we lived in a small, rainy town name Forks in Washington.

"Well now that your awake I can call Rose to come over so we can get you ready." Alice announced with a big smile.

"Alice, I really don't even feel like getting out of bed. I defently don't feel like going out." I whined.

Alice put on her famous pout " Aww come on Bella, you need to get out of the house for a while, and have some fun. Please?"

"Ugh! Fine, but i get to come back home when i get ready. Deal?"

"Yay!" Alice clapped.

Two hours later me , Alice, and Rose are walking out the door. Alice and Rose played Bella barbie with me, of course. My hair was flowing down my back in big curls. I had makeup on for the first time since I moved from Forks. I was wearing dark blue jeans that were way too tight for comfort with a blue tank top and my ballet flats. the shoes made me feel a little bit better about tonight at least I would break my ankle, like i would in heels.

When we pulled up at the club the guys were waiting outside for us. As soon as Alice stopped the car, her and Rose were out of the car an into their lovers arms. I had to choke back the tears that threatened to leak at as I made my way to them.

"Hey." Come a velvety voice from beside me. I knew who it was before I looked up at him. Edward.

"Hi." I replied curtly.

" How are you?" he asked his eyes full of saddness.

I ignored that questioned, he doesn't really want to know the real answer anyway, no one does when they ask that. "I didn't see you at the furneral." My voice was cold and hard.

"I'm sorry. I really wanted to be there. I tried, I promise, But I had finals and they wouldn't let me make them up any other time." He is always full of excuses.

"Oh yeah, that right your a doctor now." Then i walked away. I couldn't talk to him anymore without yelling and I didn't want to ruin the night for everyone.

An hour or so later I was actually having a little fun. The alcohol probably contrubited a lot to that. I was in the middle of the dance floor with Alice and Rose dancing the night away.

"I'm going to go get some air!" I yelled at Alice over the music. It was getting a little stuffy in here.

"Do you want us to come with you!?" She yelled back.

"Naw I'll be right back!" Alice nodded. I made my way through the crowd grabbing a few more shots on my way to the door.

When I got outside the cool air felt good on my clammy skin. I was really starting to feel all the acohol now. I swayed a little bit, all of a sudden i felt two arms wrap around me from behind to steady me. I looked up and into the green eyes of Edward. I mumbled a thanks as i pull myself out of his arms.

"You know, you never told my how you were doing."

My anger flared at him for caring so much now, when he didn't care enough years ago when he let Jake join the army all by his self, when he was supposed to be there with him to protect him for me. I couldn't stop myself , the words just started comeing out and before I knew it I was yelling at him.

"Ok then, let me tell you how im doin! I feel like part of my life was ripped away from me! I can't eat, I can't sleep without haveing nightmares, hell I can't even bring myself to get out of bed on most days!" I screamed as hot tears ran down my face.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he took a step towards me.

"You bastard!" I took a step back from him, I don't need his pity. "You're sorry!? This is all your fault and all you can say is you're sorry?!" Shock was written across his face. His eyes where wide and his mouth was hanging open. he didn't look like you had anything to say so I kept going.

"You were supposed to have went with him! But I bet you don't even remember promising me that you would join the army with him to help protect him if he got sent off! But instead of helping your best friend you went off to college to become a doctor and left us all alone!" by now I was sobbing uncontrolably.

He reached out to take me in his arms again and I stepped away from him again.

"Don't you touch me." I hissed throw clenched teeth.

"Bella I'm sorry. We were in high school when I said that. I never thought he would actually to do it." He looked down at the ground in shame.

"Just go tell Alice I'm ready to go home."

The next thing I knew I was in Alice's arms sobbing.

"Let's get you home." She sighed.