Every Night

Another day with my demonic BFF. He had spent the entire day pestering me about going out and doing something recklessly fun or cloyingly cute. I couldn't understand why he was acting like that, until I finally realized the date.

"It's Valentine's Day already?! Dude, it was still January third last week!"

Silus snorted, rolling his eyes at me like the asshole teenager I always aim to be. He'd become more sarcastic and childish since becoming my friend, which is odd to me because he always turns into a sweet gentleman again when we go to bed. "Well, it's your fault for not paying attention to the calendar all day. How are you this out of touch with time and space?"

I shot him a deadpan look and punched his arm when he tried to reach out and braid my hair like usual. "No touching. Dude, I still have shit to do. I'm not a freeloader like you."

"I only freeload your affection, stupid."

"Yeah. That's fucking difficult for me. I have only so much affection to give, and I spend it all on you. You should be grateful."

He rolled his eyes again, smiling widely and sweetly this time. "Okay, okay, forget all of that. We need to go do something fun. I refuse to spend such a nice holiday at your dreary dorm when we can be hoarding flowers from Ms. Smirnoff's shop or drowning ourselves in chocolate at that buffet we visited last month. I'll pay!"

I sighed and shook my head, leaning back in my seat as my eyes watched his form slouch in disappointment on my bed. "Honey, you know why we can't do that. Your shape-shifting has been off all month. I can't risk you getting in trouble or anything like that. Besides, I'm single and happy and have no intentions on changing that." His posture changed again, straightening and stiffening dramatically, while his eyes glowed bright with some kind of inspired glint. He huffed and hopped off the blue comforter onto the ground near my desk. Silus knelt down beside me and grabbed my hands into his.

Despite our friendship of almost two years, I still felt frightened when he grew intense and harsh like this. He had never once hurt me in these two years except for our first encounter, and yet I sat in my chair, shaking like a leaf in blustering winds.

He pressed my hands to his face and spoke seriously, almost sternly. "I know you hate the 'I'm older than you, so I know better' speeches you get from your parents, but this isn't that. Definitely not. I'm trying to let you live a little. You need to get out of this room sometimes. You can't waste your life studying away. You did that all throughout high school. You can't do that to yourself. You need to spend time outside, get away from this place. You need some relaxation. You most likely didn't even register that Valentine's Day had arrived because your stress drains your awareness. Please?"

And after my fear, he still soothed me. His words rang completely true. I had drowned myself in work, trying to avoid the anxiety of failure, but as a result, I had stopped living my life and left my mind to die of stress.

Silus pressed the palm of one of my hands to his lips, letting it go a moment later with a slow exhale. He watched me again. "You know I'm right. Do you know what it's like to see your favorite person force themselves into a destructive cycle of all work and no rest? It feels evil. I feel crueler for not stopping you from working to death. Believe me, I've done some terrible things in my long life. My non-interference is easily the worst. I can't sit here and accept your self-inflicted torture. Come with me. Come outside. If you want, we can return to Hell, spend time there so you don't freak out about any failed transformations."

I felt just as bad about his worry for me as he felt about not stopping my work cycle. I moved my hands to the back of his head and pulled him in for a hug. "Okay, fine. We'll go. All day. This work isn't due until next week, anyways." I felt him smile against my neck as we clung to each other like last night.

Going out that day was the best decision I'd made in a long time. This demonic fool took me to three different places around the city.

First stop? The pretty Jackson Gardens at the outside of the city, where we stole a bunch of flowers. That was probably a bad idea, but at least it felt great when we received a bunch of smiles from the people to whom we gave the flowers at our next stop. We plucked a fair number of flowers of different types. We mostly took roses, but we grabbed the occasional lily or daisy or tulip to add some variety to our collection.

Second stop! We next visited the hospital where I volunteered on weekends and Wednesdays as an English-Spanish interpreter in the General Practice wing. My expertise doesn't include technical language in other fields like cardiology or obstetrics, so I only ever worked in the general practice area. I spent a lot of late nights and early days working at the hospital (paid only sometimes), so I knew all of the staff well. This meant that I walked into the GP wing without any questioning or warnings except for suggestions to avoid the allergy section so the flowers wouldn't get anyone sick. Silus' glamour worked like a charm, thankfully, so we didn't get any weird looks from passersby, professionals, or patients. Everyone we gave a flower to gave us huge smiles and hugs in return. A few elderly and several of the pediatric patients told us we looked cute together, and it took all of my patience to let them say that and not explain that Silus and I are friends.

(Of course, that fucking troll Silus didn't mind those statements, only winking at the patients who said that stuff and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. This only worked to further their commentary and turn me into a lobster because of all of the embarrassing suggestions.)

I promised the staff and my supervisor, a nice old man named Dr. Portillo, that I would return to translate on Saturday because I needed today off. Everyone completely agreed, telling me to leave so I can rest. When Dr. Portillo asked who made me take the day off (because he knew I wouldn't do it myself), Silus piped up and replied that it was his idea. The kind doctor grinned and shook my demon buddy's hand vigorously, thanking him for making me chill at last. I stood there awkwardly, trying to not make eye contact with either of them. Dr. Portillo laughed, patting my shoulder gently. "He's good for you, kid. Listen to the guy. He'll make your life better than it is now." Silus silently and somewhat innocently smiled at the praise.

As he and I walked away from the hospital, his arm went around me again, and my eyes shot up to glare holes into his head. Obviously, it didn't affect him. He smiled down at me in that sweet, charming way he does to get out of trouble with people.

I scowled. "You enjoyed that, didn't you?"

He seemed to vibrate and shake with glee. "Absolutely. I like that idea. Actually, let's make this a date."

"Let's not."

He pouted. "That was great! What's so bad about such an idea?"

"One, you're a faker. Two, this friendship only lasts until I die. Three, I don't like relationships."

He rolled his eyes and pulled me in closer, pressing me to his side as his fingers began yanking at the ends of my curls. "How am I a faker?"

"I know you only spoke fancy with me when we met so I'd like you. Your boss told me that when I asked him about your speech patterns after I heard you talk non-fancy with your colleagues."

Silus' eyes narrowed, his eyes becoming distant as he glared at nothing in particular. "Stan…" He relaxed again. "Okay, fine. That was on purpose."

"AHA! I knew it!"

He sputtered and stared at me. "I was lying to see if that was true! It was all a bluff! And so is your fanciness, you liar!"

Silus whined, covering his face in shame. "You're so terrible to me. Look how soft I've gotten! I didn't even see that trap!"

I smirked victoriously. At least in words, I could beat this guy.

"Loser."

"Says the girl who has to trick a demon with words to win at life. Anyways, second point. I don't care what happens, we will always be friends. You said you'd be here for me, and I said I'd always be here for you. Don't tell me you're giving up on that when you die…" Though his voice originally held its usual cocky tone, by the end of his claim, he sounded desperate, hurt. I couldn't bear to hear him like that.

"No, honey. I'm not going back on that. But distance weakens friendships. I can't expect us to last forever if we're kept apart, ya know? I don't want to give you false hopes either."

Silus' voice became soft. "Then why can't we make this an actual relationship? Doesn't distance make the heart fonder?"

I kept silent. I kept my head down. I kept my eyes on the ground. When I spoke, I kept my voice quiet. "Yes. But onto point three. I'm scared of relationships. I'm scared to get heartbroken again. I'm scared to be told I don't deserve you, even though I know that's already true. I'm scared to hear that you've stopped loving me. I'm scared to know that we won't be physically together when I die. We've spent the past two years in the same bed. I'm scared of that ending. You know I crave physical affection. I can't see us break apart. I can't see myself live out eternity in despair because we failed."

A beat of silence.

"And you call me dramatic."

I whipped around and socked him in the shoulder as hard as I could. "I just bore my heart out to you, asshole!"

He laughed. "Now you know how I felt that first night!"

I squinted at him before walking off faster. "Get out."

Silus ran after me, laughing. "We're already outside! Hey, hey, hey! Wait!"

Because I am a merciful soul, I decided to wait for him to catch up. It didn't take long. The man is a damned physical miracle. He smiled widely and wrapped an arm around me again. "Fear shouldn't be a reason for us to not try. Just give me a chance. That's all I ask. A chance. I won't let us fall apart. To Hell with the rules. I'll make it work."

"We have to make it work. Not just you," I retorted. Any reason I could use to get out of this, I would give.

"You know what I mean, Victoria. Tell me you don't want this. Be honest."

I couldn't look him in the face. He sighed, and we walked on without any other words. Silus rubbed my shoulder when night began to fall, and when the air began to chill. He pressed me closer to him, and in a reflexive motion, I moved into the pressure of his body. "Last stop, Your Highness," he murmured softly.

That pulled a smile out of me. We'd always spent time talking about history since it was one of the few things we both truly enjoyed, so when we shared an entire day of conversation dedicated to Queen Victoria of England, he began calling me 'Your Highness' as a poke at my name.

We kept walking forward, on and on and on, until we reached the edge of the city. We packed into a taxi and headed out for the edge of the beautiful national park in my college town.

We stepped out of the car at the same time, and he led me out to the cliff's ledge at the end of the only nature trail in the park.

We didn't speak any words about the place we were going.

We continued forward, sitting upon the ledge carefully. I leaned in towards him so I could feel less on edge about sitting on a cliff. He coiled an arm around my waist, pushing me close to him. I ended up moving even closer, practically squished against his side, as he mumbled his first words after almost thirty minutes of silence.

"This is my gift to you. I can't give you anything physical that would suffice, and I'm not talented enough to make you some kind of poem or song that would properly enunciate my feelings. Instead, I'll give you this phenomenon. This beautiful natural scene. In three… two… one…"

I let my eyes wander along the beautiful slopes of the hills and valleys below us. The ocean's edge to the left of the scape, and the lush forest to the right. The center of the space blushed red, pink, and gold with the sunset that slowly fell upon the land. And like clockwork, the moment Silus breathed out the word 'now', the entire space lit up like the decorations on a Christmas tree. Hundreds of thousands of fireflies brightened the flowering area like little fairy lights.

My eyes burned from all the light and beauty of the spectacle. They watered when the sunset died away and gave rise to nighttime, and the fireflies continued to brighten the land under the darkness of the night sky.

I turned to look at Silus quietly. He threw me a watery smile, eyes a little more dark and broken than I had seen in a while. "When I spent the day with you, this is what I felt. Just as entranced as you were by the sunset and fireflies, I was that entranced watching you actually smile and be happy and enjoy your life. Is it so evil of me that I want to do this all the time? That I want to see you this happy all the time?"

My heart ached for his plight. I shook my head, unable to respond verbally.

He murmured hopefully, eyes soft and silvery blue in the golden light of the millions of fireflies below us. "Then let me in. Please, let me in."

My eyes burned with tears again. I only nodded. He smiled at me, reaching his other arm around to hug me tightly. I let out a choked sob, and hugged his neck, clinging onto him with all my might. I pressed my face into his shoulder, but he didn't do the same to me. Maybe he didn't need comfort right now. Maybe he didn't need my reassurance.

He spoke normally now, not as high-strung or low-down. "You're such an emotional person. Crying in joy, crying in sadness, crying in fear, crying in courage. But that's okay. It's okay. You do need to relax, though. Just calm down. We'll stay here as long as you want, o-"

"Just shut up. You talk so much. Like a toddler with boring family members."

He laughed hard, almost dropping me over the ledge. I screamed, terrified of the fall, and wrapped myself around him completely. My legs shot around his waist, and I dug my hands into his back. "Be careful! You fucking asshole!"

"Relax! I won't drop you!" Silus continued to laugh like a troll. He smirked, a weird glint igniting in his eyes. "Or maybe, do you want to fly~?"

I whined, begging and pleading with him to not fly. "Come on, man! I just agreed to date you and shit! Do you have to do this to me?"

He chuckled darkly and stood up, both arms still curled around me so I wouldn't fall off. His body changed again, his skin roughening and eyes brightening. His hair darkened, and his teeth marginally sharpened. Below my hands, his wings stretched out from his skin and into the air. I whined louder, digging my nails into his tough flesh. "SILUS, NO!"

"Come on, it'll be better than last time!"

"I BROKE FIVE BONES LAST TIME, YOU WHORE!"

He snickered at my word choice, rubbing my back comfortingly. "Calm down. I know you better now, and I know how to fly with your added weight. And I learned how you move when terrified of something. Besides, I healed you back then, didn't I?"

"Fuck you! Set me down!"

Silus smirked, affectionately kissing my temple. "Later, Victoria. I thought you would want to take it slow~!"

"Silus, I swear to God, set me down, or I'll tell on you to your boss."

"My boss was the one who told me to go for it."

"All of you have plotted against me."

"That's kind of the point. We hate you."

I scowled and pushed at his face, only to scramble to grab onto him again so I wouldn't fall off the edge. Silus rolled his eyes, patting my head as if I were an unbelievably stupid child or something like that. He smiled and moved back from the ledge, walking away for a few steps. This calmed me down a little, making me less anxious about the high cliffside. But, because he's the world's evilest troll, Silus turned around and sprinted at the edge, jumping off the cliff.

My heart stopped and my eyes shut tightly to block out the sight of me falling to my death. It didn't help. The motion sickness hit me like a tank, and I would have actually had a heart attack were it not for Silus' sudden opening of his wings, which caught us midair.

The upward airflow kept us from falling, and he kicked off of the cliffside, shooting us forward over the meadows.

"I hope you have a heart attack," I grumbled.

He snorted. "I'm always having a heart attack when you're involved."

"Thanks, asshole."

"You are quite welcome. Now calm down."

"No."

Silus chuckled lowly once again, bass voice rumbling through my body like a deafening symphony. He pressed me closer, one hand pushing against my lower back as the other pushed me up into him from under my ass. But it didn't feel sexual or weird. The experience felt more innocent than that.

"Just don't think about the height. Focus on what's around us. If you want, we can drop down into the forest, and I can try to call some animals to me."

I rolled my eyes, despite the sheer terror slowly enveloping my heart and soul. "You doing a fancy little trick by bringing me here at the perfect time to see the fireflies does not mean you're suddenly Snow White."

He snorted at my reply. "I meant with food. I never implied I know animal magic, you weirdo."

"Says the revenge demon who broke up some guy's relationship because the angels didn't wanna do that."

"I HAD NO CHOICE."

I began laughing loudly at his offended, disgruntled tone. This truly was the highlight of the night: making Silus mad about his job, which almost never happens.

"You're worse than me, and I'm a demon."

I winked playfully, smirking at him like he did to me the first time we met. "You love me for it~!"

His softened, sweetened, adorable expression implied that he agreed with what I said. "Isn't that the truth?"

I felt my confident face waver at his sweet words and looks. I averted my eyes, choosing to instead face my impending doom, only to discover that I actually loved the sight. The trees and meadows and flower-filled valleys rushed under us as the tips of the tallest redwoods and oaks brushed against Silus' wings. The air around us continued on its journey past us with its usual wintry chill, but the heat of the earth beneath us offset the cold winds. Of course, we did almost hit the occasional mountain or tree, but Silus caught us quickly enough that I didn't have to worry about death. Even the fireflies hovering in the flowers and grasses of the valley seemed to glow with a softer, more homely tint, as if trying to complement the dark, coldness of the vast eternity above us.

Never once did Silus speak up or tell me anything while I reveled in the experience. He kept his thoughts to himself, only piping up to suggest that we head back home. I bit my lower lip, chewing at it hesitantly.

"A-Are you sure we can't spend the night here?" I knew this might be a bad idea, but I really didn't want the night to end. I wanted to waste away the rest of that day with my new boyfriend of sorts.

Silus shrugged, an eyebrow raised in concern and confusion at my decision. "You don't usually ask to stay out. You always try to get back to your dorm as soon as you can. What's wrong?"

I crossed my arms, my body subconsciously curling up into a defensive position. "Nothing! I just don't wanna go back right now. Is that such a big deal? I want to spend some more time out here. I've rarely been to a place that makes me feel this calm. I wanna stay this calm." My demon partner said nothing, only nodding with that annoyingly knowing smile on his face.

"Where do you want to go here?"

"Umm. Maybe at the edge between the beach and grass?"

He nodded again, changing the position of his wings to land slowly on the sand. He set me down on the ground after a moment. He changed my body position at the start of the flight, holding me from behind so I could actually see the space around me. It ended up being a great idea. I pulled off my shoes and set them on the grass before walking back to the sand to bury my feet in it. Best feeling in the world.

Silus silently kept an eye on me as I played around in the sand like it was snow. Of course, no sand-angels for me (I didn't want to get sand in my hair), but I did bury my hands and feet in it so my extremities would be surrounded by the cool, all-encompassing nature of the tiny granules.

After a few more hours of relaxation and weird behavior on my part, Silus and I came together for bedtime. Though it had been a great day, I needed rest. Actual rest.

While we may not have had a bed to sleep on in that huge area, we did have trees and creativity. We worked together to form a kind of hammock that we hung from two large, solitary oaks in the meadow. I was more help in the fine details, tying stuff together and fastening things. Silus handled the actual difficulties, like tying the hammock onto the trees and finding the materials. It was a nice creation, though odd.

We used the dry tall grasses from next to the beach as rope/twine to bind together a bunch of long and flexible branches, a random safety blanket we found near what appeared to be an abandoned vagrant campsite a few miles west from the meadows, and a large amount of oak leaves and flowers from the foliage in the area. The branches did require some smoothening to remove the smaller twigs still remaining on them, but the other items needed no alteration or processing. The hammock held together like a charm, surprisingly. As soon as Silus tied the last of the hammock's 'ropes' to the trees, he grabbed me up from the roots of those behemoths.

He lied down first, spreading his wings out far enough to ensure they wouldn't get caught on the branches or grasses. As soon as he was settled, he let me lie down on top of him, pressing my head to his shoulder while my arms fluttered down to rest on his chest. All in all, not an unfamiliar position. Both of his arms coiled around me while his wings wrapped us up in an extra blanket of sorts since we'd used the safety blanket as the base of our hammock. The feathers of his wings (fallen angel, remember?) insulated us all night, no matter how cold it got out in that open space.

I can't lie. That was the best sleep I had gotten in months. College stressed me out constantly. Maybe that's why I had started developing skin, immune, and weight issues. At one point, I had stopped having my monthlies because I was so concerned about my classes.

But this day was a complete reset for my life. My daily patterns had changed irreversibly. All thanks to my demonic buddy's incorrigible and perfect concern for my health. I could never go back to how I used to live before. Not after that day. Silus truly did make my life a million times better because he forced me to take that day off. I can say with confidence, he still does make my life a million times better, but not always in the ways you would expect.