Kakashi, 11, Chuunin; Genma, 14, Chuunin.
Genma was recounting his latest mission behind enemy lines when he felt, more than saw, a strangely upsetting presence brush past. He paused halfway through the telling and watched Hatake-san's son, Kakashi, knock three times on Sandaime's door, then step back to wait just outside the closed circle of ANBU adults. He was aware of his companions whispering--wondering what was wrong and why did he suddenly go silent--but he didn't care. He was taken in by the spell surrounding the little demon child, the son of a traitor...or a hero, depending on who told the story.
The boy was facing the window, silhouetted by the afternoon light as the sun began its descent over the village. He was small, even for eleven years old, but his thin, immature muscles flexed with the promise of raw, untapped power. His stance reflected the discipline and grace common amongst the elite of Konoha. Genma noted that the boy's clothes weren't a standard-issue chuunin uniform, though he knew that was his rank. Probably nothing that would fit a kid that small, he thought, That's fucked up. Taking a step closer, then another, and side-stepping to block some of the sunlight with a protruding corner of the window and, hopefully, find relief from the brightness, Genma winced as he met the boy's blood-shot gaze. He'd been caught. Kakashi leveled a look at the older chuunin that clearly broadcast derision amidst a mixture of suspicion, anger, resentment...and, much to Genma's surprise, a little fear.
Despite the boy's obvious annoyance, Genma continued to stare, unable to look away. The kid looked like death incarnate.
Fumeiyo yori shi. Death over dishonor. The phrase flitted through Genma's mind as he realized the boy also looked surprisingly like his father. Oh. He probably thought that was why he was staring.
But it wasn't.
The reason Genma was still staring was that the front of Kakashi's uniform was covered in blood--bright red splotches that left his smudged, cruddy skin pale in comparison. Dark circles accentuated large, round, eyes sunken in the wan, childish face. It wasn't Kakashi's blood, as the boy was still getting around under his own power, so that could only mean one thing: assassination mission. A little kid like that?
He'd never had occasion to talk to the kid before and, after seeing him like that, Genma was glad. The deadness of his eyes betrayed a mental maturity far beyond that of a normal eleven-year-old boy...Hell, Genma was fourteen and still felt like he was looking into the eyes of a jaded, burnt-out adult. With a grim smirk, he watched a moment longer before muttering, "Shi-chan, you look like shit," and vanishing out the mission room door.
Kakashi, 17, ANBU; Genma, 20, ANBU.
When they finally met again, it was after the war, after Kyuubi, after they'd both lost their precious people and found themselves alone in the world. They were drawn together by an ache neither could choke down. Kakashi, all limbs and pale porcelain beauty, a lure Genma couldn't resist. Seizing every opportunity to reaffirm their humanity--against the wall of an alley in Hidden Rock, amongst the tall reeds in a field in Grass Country--the pair grasping onto their only ties to the world of the living, each other.
As they tripped through Hidden Mist, under the guise of drunken sailors, Genma caught the tail end of something Kakashi was muttering under his breath--"...with Sensei..."
He jabbed his partner in the ribs. "You say somethin'?"
"I said, the last time I was here was with Sensei." Kakashi kept his eyes straight forward, never betraying a hint of what Genma knew the statement implied.
"Shi-chan..."
"Ma-kun..."
"Aw, c'mon, stop calling me that." Genma draped an arm over Kakashi's shoulders, looking for all the world like an inebriated drunkard while gently squeezing him closer.
Kakashi grinned beneath his mask. "What, what? Are you saying you don't speak the truth, however blunt it may be? However badly I don't want to hear it? It suits you well. Shi-chan, on the other hand--"
Genma dropped his arm from Kakashi's shoulders and stopped walking. Kakashi come to a halt a few steps ahead. "You know, you can't chase his ghost forever."
The silver-haired shinobi fell silent, the teasing forgotten, swallowed up by the memories of blond hair and smiling blue eyes, of accidental touches and stolen glances. The ache in his heart that had always been the Yondaime Hokage quaked, and he cracked a little more. Straining his resolve and his ability to keep his features neutral, even under his mask, he shook his head and started walking away.
After a few hurried steps to catch up, Genma whispered near Kakashi's ear, "Don't try to deny it. You've chased his echo for years. By proxy, so have I, and…dammit, if you're not gonna be the death of me, Shi-chan. This isn't healthy." Just outside the door of the inn at which they were staying, he added, "It's not sane."
Kakashi, 25, ANBU; Genma, 28, Tokubetsu/Special Jounin.
It was Genma's birthday.
Gettin' pretty close to thirty, eh? Whatcha gonna do then? He studied the wrinkles around his eyes in the mirror, the fine lines gained by laughing and smiling, even when he was breaking inside, even when his hands were covered in the blood of those he killed doing his duty. Genma always smiled through the pain. And now...Thirty. I'll be an old man before I know it. He understood the odds of his actually reaching thirty years of age were slim; he was already amongst the oldest of the active shinobi taking missions.
With two fingers, he pulled the skin at the corners of his eyes back toward his ears, smoothing the lines and revealing the younger man buried beneath. Oh, there you are. It was ANBU, he decided, and reassured himself once again that quitting had been for the best.
Shaking the darker thoughts from his head, he smiled at his reflection and winked, stuck a senbon between his teeth, and headed back toward the living room to join his roommates. Izumo and Kotetsu lounged on the couch, limbs entangled in an impossible arrangement, both appearing to be asleep. Kakashi lay on the loveseat, legs hanging over one, dangling end at the knee. He was reading, of course, always reading, and Genma fought the urge to yank the blasted book right out of his hands. Instead, he crossed to Raidou, seated in the decrepit rocking chair, and plopped down on his lap. There was a pop, a crack, and a loud crash as the two fell to the floor, the chair in splinters beneath them.
"Oops?" Genma smiled at the others even as he limped away from the mess, intent on retrieving the broom. As he swept, he asked, "So, where are you guys taking me? I want to be soooo drunk when I get home tonight that I'll forget I'm getting old." A pillow smacked into the side of his head, lobbed from the couch supporting the two chuunin.
"Ma-kun, you can't be getting old. Shinobi don't get old, after all."
"No, you're right..." Damn, that was really uplifting Kakashi, sheesh. "Let's get outta here."
The five roommates...lovers...friends left the house as a raucous ball of conversation, tossed jibes, and name-calling. Izumo bet that Raidou would hit the floor first, Rai bet it would be Kotetsu, and Kotetsu bet that Kakashi would outlast them all. Genma didn't care as long as everyone was happy. It was his birthday, after all, and he should get what he wanted. And what he wanted was for his friends to have a good time. He laced his fingers with Raidou's as they walked, shooting a glance toward Kakashi and beckoning him over. With Kakashi on one arm and Raidou on the other, everything felt...right.
"Hey, Kashi, you ever think of quitting...you know..."
"No. Anyway, I don't see Sandaime letting me. What would Konoha do without its Scarecrow?"
Genma mulled it over, honestly thinking before answering, "It'd be a fucking scary place. You're right. You stay with...that...and I'll just hang around here in town where it's safe. Where there are cute chuunin to pester!" Raidou poked him in the side, and the two chuunin walking ahead of them both shot him looks that clearly said what they thought of the idea. "Whaaat? Iruka! I was talking about cute little Iruka-chan. Gah!"
"Iruka?"
Raidou grinned at Kakashi. "You know, the one with the--" He motioned, sliding his fingers across the bridge of his nose. "--and the ponytail? Mission desk?"
With a sigh, Kakashi nodded. "I know who he is. I just didn't realize Genma knew him. It seems I'm to go on a mission with him later this week; surveillance."
Of all of the reactions possible, Kakashi never expected Genma's back to stiffen as he came to a complete stop in the middle of the busy sidewalk. Civilian pedestrians grumbled, but didn't bother the obvious ninja, instead opting to walk around, and Raidou yanked Genma off the main path and out of the way.
"Hey, Ma-kun, what's wrong?" Kakashi was perplexed, to say the least, and he hated that feeling. "Hey--"
"Kakashi, I want you to listen to me when I say these words. Hey, look at me! I want you to listen, and I want you to understand. Iruka is not like us. Get it?"
For all of his supposed genius--though Kakashi had never given credence to those rumors--the silver-haired man was stumped.
...not like us...
"Explain."
"I will, but later. Right now, just forget it. It's my birthday, remember? Let's have some fun and I'll explain everything when we get home. C'mon." The change of subject and pace were disconcerting, but Kakashi shrugged, taking the offered hand, and they started toward the bar once more.
All night, Genma's brain kept repeating the image of Kakashi and Iruka in his head. Alone on a mission together. It scared him. Iruka really wasn't like them. He, too, had lost everything, everyone, but unlike Genma and his housemates, the tan chuunin had come out whole and mostly unscathed on the other side. It was the very reason Genma liked talking to him, because he was so very normal. But alone with Kakashi...that could be dangerous for the chuunin.
Especially with the Kakashi of late--the frowning Kakashi, with furrowed brows and lightless eye, who rarely spoke, and when he did, usually muttered something cutting or cynical. Most of all, he pushed himself too hard, too close to the breaking point. Genma knew his former lover too well to be fooled by the act he sometimes put on for Ko and Izumo.
He was always Shi-chan in Genma's eyes, and death had a habit of following him around. It wasn't a name for Kakashi anymore, but the shadow that lurked just behind him, and he still used the name to remind his friend, to warn him. One day, he knew that the shadow would engulf the younger jounin, whisking him away from the world of the living, and Kakashi would likely welcome it with open arms.
It was a sobering thought, threatening to ruin Genma's his birthday. Instead, he forced a grin, made a mental note to talk to Kakashi about Iruka, and grabbed his lovers by the arms, yanking them from their barstools. Manhandling the two jounin, he dragged them toward the dance floor. Genma hadn't given up on Kakashi yet, and it was time to shed some light on the man's ever-present shadow.