Twisted Lanes

Summary: Iley Potter-Witwicky knew she was strange with the whole 'parents-sending-her-to-the-Dursleys-and-abandoning-her-thing' but when her adoptive brother Sam brings home an alien car and sends her and her best friends, Mikaela and Danielle on a great adventure , she realizes it's about to get a whole lot stranger.

Fem!Squib!Harry. Optimus/fem!Harry. Ron!Ginny!Molly!Hermione!Dumbledore!Potters!Snape!Wizarding World!bashing. Protective!Possessive!Optimus. Ironhide/Tonks. Mikaela/Sam. Good!BWL

Lily Potter is played by Jane Aldridge

James Potter is played by Aaron Johnson

Iley Potter-Witwicky is played by Lily Collins

Nymphadora Tonks is played by Zooey Deschanel

"You really should dump him." It was after cheer practice which Sam had dropped me off at and now we were at the lake party watching my brother bash Trent (Mikky's boyfriend), Rex (my boyfriend) and the rest of the football team.

I jerked up as Trent grabbed Sam's collar and we instantly were over there.

"Enough, that's enough." Mikaela snapped. "Let's just go."

"Rex, I have to talk to you." My confident, arrogant, blond boyfriend rose an eyebrow.

"Fine, babe, then I'm going to crush that son of a-" He was cut off by my pissed face. "What? Witwacky's a bastard." He said this in a no duh kind of voice making me curl my lip up.

"He's my older brother and I'm sick of you and Trent bullying him." I sucked in a breath and glared at Rex. "We're through."

His eyes widened comically. "What? Babe!" He said as I spun around, trying to walk away but he quickly turned me around. "No, no, no, we aren't over." He said angrily. "Mikaela and Trent and you and me...we're the power couples. People strive to be like us. We are not. Done. Understand?"

"We're done." I spat. "Goodbye, arsehole." I hissed before starting down the trek to my house seeing how I had no ride now.

I was a mile down (thanking God I decided to wear flats) when there was a feminine voice. "You need a lift?" A girl with bright pink hair and dark, twinkling eyes with a English accent was driving a green car and I smiled.

"Oi, thanks mate." I smiled, climbing in. "I'm Iley."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Tonks. We British folks need to keep together." She laughed. I chuckled under my breath. "Mind telling me what happened back there?" She asked, glancing from the road to have brown meet green.

"My boyfriend always bullies my older brother, Sam, so I finally broke up with him. Bloody git." She grumbled under her breath. "And he always gets our last name wrong! It's Witwicky, not Witwacky or Witwocky or Witwilikisky!" I huffed making Tonks laugh loudly. "What are you doing in our little piece of Tranquility?" I drawled.

"Nice pun." Tonks quipped. "I'm visiting my cousin, Miles." She wrinkled her nose. "He's a bit strange. What in Merlin's name? Miles?" Merlin? A witch? Shit. Then I saw what she was looking at. Miles. "You mind?"

"Nah, he's your cousin." I shook my head as she pulled to a stop and he hopped in.

"Iley, what're you doin' here?" Miles asked in surprise. I was actually good friends with Miles especially after he helped me with my Biology homework. I shuddered at the thought. "What's wrong?"

"Biology." I hissed. He laughed and Tonks snorted.

"So where do you go to school?" I asked Tonks knowing what the answer is.

"Pigfats!" Miles immediately cackled making Tonks shoot him a dirty look.

"A boarding school in Scotland." She informed me, pulling into my driveway.

"Hogwarts." I said. "My whole family went there. I...couldn't though." She seemed to understand and sent me a sad smile. "My family was all sorted in Ravenclaw though. My biological family." Just twist the truth a bit. "Later, Miles, later Tonks." She made a face but waved.

I ran into the house and yelled. "I'm home!" I heard my mother shout and I went into the kitchen.

"Hi sweetie, no Sam." She shrugged. "No Lasagna for him then."

"Brilliant." I grinned.

"Iley, Ila, Iles, wake up." Iley jerked up, looking around blearily as she eyed her brother.

"What do you want?" She demanded. "It's bloody four in the morning, mate." He just nervously looked back and forth like something was about to bit him. "What's wrong?"

"My car is the Devil Incarnate." He muttered. "Get dressed." He got out of her room and she got dressed in a Monster muscle t-shirt, ripped jeans and sneakers.

"Oh my GOD! SATAN'S CAMARO! ILEY, C'MON!" He got on Mom's old bike and I slipped on my old roller blades. Sam biked quickly while I skated and glancing back, I saw Sam's Camaro following us. What the hell.

"Sam, what the bloody hell is going on?" I demanded.

"We're getting chased by Satan's Camaro." He informed me and my eyes widened. We had turned up to a Burger King where Mikaela, Danielle, Tonks and our friends were. From what I saw, Tonks was arguing with Megan.

The he managed to flip his bike and fall on his face.

Idiot.

I pulled to a stop, worry etched on my features. "You, alright?" Tonks asked him.

"That looked pretty awesome." Mikaela commented giving me a weirded out stare.

"It felt awesome." He grunted. He got on the bike once more and started biking.

"C'mon." I said to Tonks who chased after me and Sam. We followed Sam into a Construction sight where Tonks sent us confused looks.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" She asked with a frown. Sam grabbed her shoulders and started to shake her.

"We are being chased by Satan's Camaro, pretty British lady! Satan's Camaro!" Sam yelled as she took a step back, wand pressed to his chest.

"I will stun you." She warned. I had slipped my skates off, replacing them with my sneakers I had been carrying around and gave them both stern looks.

"Enough, Sam, Tonks." I stated coolly. "Look, there's a police officer. Let's go talk to them." Sam spun around, eyes wild and sprinted for the police car, us a few steps behind him.

"Thank god you're here," Sam cried out, slamming his hands down on the car.

"Are muggle cars supposed to have 'to punish and enslave' on it?" Tonks asked, more to herself. But I heard it. Sure enough, that statement was on the side of the police vehicle and the driver kept flickering. Then of course the cruiser slammed into Sam.

"SAM, GET AWAY FROM HIM! HE'S ONE OF THE BAD GUYS!" I screamed, tripping backwards. Sam stumbled back and one of the cruiser's headlights popped out. Then it transformed into a giant ass robot.

"Run and panic?" I asked Tonks.

"Run and panic." She confirmed before accio-ing Sam and we all ran out. I saw Mikaela and cursed under my breath in Spanish, the language I had learned back in grade school.

"What in Merlin's hairy balls is she doing here?" Tonks asked as Sam smashed into her making both of them groan.

"What is your problem?" Mikaela demanded as they both got up.

"We are being chased by a bloody robot so for Godric's sake, get up and run!" Tonks snapped angrily as said robot ran in, cannons whirling and bloody red eyes looking for us.

"A monster just attacked us!" Sam said quickly. "Let's run, now, please." We all sprinted the opposite direction of the monster who ran after us only to get smashed by Sam's Camaro.

"WOOHOO!" Tonks shouted. "GO SATAN'S CAMARO!" Me, Mikaela and Tonks highfived while Sam's mouth dropped. The camaro pulled to a stop in front of us and me and Tonks didn't bother to hesistate. We scrambled into the backseat, while Sam and Mikaela got in the front. The car took off going 80 miles per hour (or so it seemed).

"Go, go, go, go!" Sam screamed. The robot had changed back into the police car and was now chasing us at top speed.

"We're gonna die! We're gonna die!" Mikaela cried out as me and Tonks hugged each other bawling our eyes out.

"No, no, we're not gonna die. Stop crying." Sam tried to calm us down but me and Tonks cried harder.

"We're gonna die!" Mikaela repeated while the seats warmed up underneath me and Tonks.

"No, we're not gonna die." Sam shouted.

"He's a kickass driver." I cried out weakly as we crashed a window making us scream even more.

"We're gonna die!" Sam panicked as we went through a bunch of boxes and made an awesome as bloody hell U-turn that made me feel like a bloody Nascar Driver.

"Oh my god!" Sam yelled.

"I'm too young to die!" I whimpered as we pulled up against the darkened side of a warehouse and parked, doors locking.

"You're magical." Tonks whispered to me.

I shook my head. "I'm a squib to a Gryffindor family that didn't want me." She sent me a confused look which I quietly said, "I didn't want you to find out. I still have nightmares of my family."

She frowned. "Your family?"

"The Potters." I whispered in hatred and loathing. The car suddenly turned back on and slipped past the police car, nearly getting hit. Tonks stopped looking me in disbelief when the car swung around and (in a badass way) turned into an alien robot and tackled the police car which in turn had turned into a robot.

Then a tinier robot popped out of the police car.

"Did he just give birth to a baby robot?" Tonks blinked.

"RUN!" I shrieked as the robot started chasing all four of us. The of course it tackled Sam and ripped off his pants making me giggle at his underpants.

"Glad to see your wearing the ones that I bought you for your birthday." I laugh as Tonks pulled out her wand.

"Hold still, mate." She snapped at which he did and Mikaela disappeared. "Stupify!" It bounced off the robot's metallic skin. "Nevermind. Freak out." She muttered as he did so.

"Mikky!?" I watched as my friend used a tiny chainsaw and sawed off the robots head.

Sam scrambled up and kicked the robot's now sawed off head. "Not so tough without a head." He muttered earning a 'what-the-fuck' look from Tonks. "What?"

"Come on. Let's get back." Sam said and we started walking up the hill where Sam's camaro was walking towards us.

"What is it?" Mikaela asked.

"Obviously not muggle or magical." Tonks said, more to me than Mikaela and Sam, though. I nodded, agreeing with her.

"It's a super advanced robot. Probably Japanese. Definitely Japanese." Sam stated, walking up to the yellow and black robot (which I had to admit looked pretty adorable).

"Doubt it." I muttered, striding even nearer to it, a curious Tonks a step behind me, Sam a few steps behind me and Mikaela not coming at all.

"Are you insane?" Mikaela asked us.

"That can be debated." Tonks smirked. She glared at Tonks

"What are you guys doing?" She asked with a deep frown on her face.

"I don't think it wants to hurt us." Sam said.

"Where's your sense of adventure, Mikky?" I asked with a smirk on my face before waving at the robot. "Hello, you are very adorable." I greeted making Sam, Mikaela and Tonks all facepalm. His battle mask disappeared and the robot smiled brightly.

"I think he wants something from us." Sam informed us. "The other one talking about my Grandfather's glasses on Ebay." Tonks looked confused when he mentioned Ebay.

"It's a website where you can buy things from normal people cheaper than at the stores." I said to her. She nodded. I turned to the robot. "Can you speak, adorable robot sir?" I asked.

"XM Satellite Radio...Digital broadcasting brings he..." A bunch of clips from the radio came through the robot's mouth.

"So you talk through the radio." Sam confirmed making the robot beam.

"Thank you. You're beautiful!" He answered in a talk host clip.

"Where do ya come from, mate?" Tonks asked.

"Visitors from Heaven, Hallelujah!" He answered back. I gave him a thumbs up before trying to get in only to be stopped my Mikaela.

"Are you crazy?" She demanded. "What are you doing?" She said looking from the robot to me and back again. Sam put a hand on her shoulder.

"50 years from now don't you wanna be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?" He asked her. She paused before getting in after me, then Sam and Tonks joined me in the backseat.