Author Note
I had initially started this as a one-shot. But then thought to extend it a bit. This is a Prologue..how they started
EPOV
Today was Isabella Swan's first day as my submissive.
I was excited as well as nervous. She had captivated me since the first day I saw her. I was searching for a new submissive and had actually shortlisted 3 prospective candidates for a short interaction when Jenks told me that he has received a new application. He found it intriguing because the lady had asked for me specifically. She was a novice – had never been a sub before – and her application clearly stated that she wishes to apply only for Mr. Edward Cullen, if he is available. Normally, I would have downrightly rejected the application; I had no interest in training a novice. Too much work, thank you very much. Jenks knew this and that is why he had not sent the application to me for short listing. But he also knew that I am a well known businessman, but a private person who needs to keep his personal life personal. Someone to ask for me specifically indicated risk of exposure, especially when this somebody was new to the community. Hence, he thought it prudent to mention her to me. And he was correct. I was fiercely protective of my privacy and unforgiving of those who tried to violate it.
So I asked Jenks to set up a meeting with Ms. Swan and get me a detailed background check before the meeting. I had received her application as well as the background check report the morning of the meeting, last Friday. And was surprised at what I found. She was from Forks, a small town in Washington where my father had worked for 4 years in the local hospital. I was away completing my college in Chicago during this time but went home at least twice a year. I recalled my parents being friendly with a "Chief Swan", the police chief of Forks. I vaguely remembered that Chief Swan had a daughter – Bella - who was friends with Alice. As far as I remember, they used to spend almost all their time together – I used to tease Alice that they were joined at their hips. I remembered Bella as a very shy girl who almost never opened her mouth in front of me.
I opened up Ms. Swan's application form and saw that she had answered all questions about her background truthfully. Actually Jenks could not find anything wrong in the background check as well. I was thoroughly intrigued now. I wanted to know if she remembered me from the time in Forks. I was not sure if Alice was still in touch with her. I was not too concerned because my entire family was aware of my lifestyle – they themselves were part of the lifestyle. My father was one of the best doms in Seattle and my mom was a role model for subs. My parents were highly respected in our lifestyle. My sister had discovered her submissive leanings almost at the same time when I was realizing my dominant leanings. Her boyfriend – Jasper – was one of my two best friends and had approached Dad to train to be a dominant when Alice had indicated her wish to try out the Dom-sub aspect in their relationship. Dad was already planning to train me and had taken Jasper under his wings. After all Alice was his daughter and he wanted the best for her. So he had trained both Jasper and I to become one of the best doms in the lifestyle.
Anyway – back to Isabella. She had me hooked with all the common history and I needed to know how much she knew about me and my family. I was a little wary that she may try to flaunt her acquaintance with my family to get me to take her as my sub. But was willing to be open minded when I met her.
Dot on 6pm there was a knock on my office door. Jessica, my secretary, was already gone for the weekend. I quickly straightened in my chair and said "Come in" in my heavy "dom" voice. The door opened almost immediately and in came the most beautiful girl I had seen in my life. She was petite with curves at all the right places. Her skin was pale but glowing, her face was heart shaped with the deepest brown eyes. She was fidgeting with her hands and looked nervous. As soon as our eyes met, I felt a jolt – as if something had hit me hard. I kept staring at her unabashedly but she lowered her eyes immediately. Someone must have trained her properly.
'Sir…' she hesitated.
Her voice was like honey – so smooth and sweet. I was literally rendered speechless by the sheer perfection of this girl. How I did not notice her beauty when we had met in Forks was beyond me.
"Sir..' she tried again. And I realized that I was being extremely rude. I had not even asked her to sit down, my mother had raised me with better manners.
"Uhh Ms. Swan, right?" I asked stupidly. Of course she was Ms. Swan. The security guy downstairs had already called and told me that Ms. Swan was on her way up for the appointment.
She nodded shyly. At least that one thing had not changed since I last met her.
"Please come", I was getting up from my desk and leading her towards the couches in one corner of the room. Normally I conducted all my interviews sitting on my desk with the candidate on the other side of the desk. I don't allow the familiarity of sitting side by side on the couch. But with Bella, I mean Ms. Swan, it seems I had no control whatsoever. My body was gravitating towards her without even asking for my permission. I had never felt so drawn to anyone before now. But I still needed to ascertain that her motives were true before anything.
'Please have a seat" I gestured towards the single sofa seat near the couch.
She sat down on it silently with her hands on her lap, clasped together. I sat in front of her on the couch. And noticed that she was trembling slightly. And immediately I felt this overwhelming need to sooth her nerves.
"Are you cold? Would you like something to drink? Tea, coffee?" I asked. I was just being a good host. Ha, who was I kidding? I never offered anything to the prospective subs, I never tried to re-assure them as I wanted to do with Bella. Oh, fuck, she was already Bella in my mind. I shook my head to clear all such thoughts. I was being more civil with her only because of her association with my family, after all she was a family friend, sort of.
"No Sir, I am fine..thank you" she replied politely.
"Ummm Ms. Swan, I am at a loss. Jenks told me that you asked for me specifically. Why so?" I decided to address my doubts right away.
"Mr. Cullen, sir.. I…" she stammered. And I was again flooded with the desire to get her at ease.
"Please don't be shy, please be rest assured that whatever you tell me will remain only between the two of us."
When she still hesitated, I continued "Ok, let me ask you something first. Do you know my sister Alice?"
"What..did she say anything to you? I told her specifically not to meddle. She..she never listens. Mr. Cullen, let me make this very clear at the very onset. I asked her not to say anything to you - if you select me as your sub, I want that to be because you really want to and not because I am your sister's friend." She was almost agitated. She was short of breadth and red with heat after the sprinted speech.
"Calm down Bella. Alice did not say anything. Actually she did not mention you at all. I remembered you myself after reading your application." I was on my knees in front of her and took her hands in my own. What the hell, I was on my knees. What was this girl doing to me?
I got up immediately and moved towards the side table that had glasses of water. I took a glass of water. "Here..have this. And then tell me the whole story, what this is all about."
She took the water and drank almost the whole glass in one go.
"Sorry Mr. Cullen. I am normally not that easily perturbed. Its only that Alice was very adamant and I had a really hard time getting her to agree not to interfere. You know how she can be when she is after something. I was caught unawares when you mentioned her and thought that she must have talked to you behind my back. I am sorry, I should not have thought that way. She is a great friend and I now realize that she would never break her promise to me. I just did not think that you would remember me on your own." She gave me a small smile then.
Oh, this was getting more and more interesting. "So, why did you ask for me Isabella?" I was back to formal now.
She cleared her throat and started – "A few months back, I started suspecting my submissive feelings. One of my friends from college, Angela, was a dabbler in the lifestyle and agreed to take me to a brunch where I could see for myself if this was something that really appealed to me. That's where I met Alice and rekindled our friendship. She took me under her wings and trained me to be a submissive. Last month she decreed that I am trained enough to look for a dom but as you may imagine was very protective of me. She said that she wants me to have the best of the bests. That's when she told me about you – her brother. She said that I can trust you completely, I had heard many stories of abuse in a BDSM relationship and was very apprehensive about trusting someone with my well being so completely. The idea of being your submissive did appeal to me – I remembered you from Forks and knew your family. No one in your family is capable of hurting anyone intentionally. Alice wanted to talk to you herself, said that you would never refuse her. But I wanted to do this on my own. As I said, I wanted to be your sub only because you wanted me and not because your sister asked you to. That's why I forbade her to mention anything to you and went through the normal procedure. She did help me in getting in touch with Mr. Jenks. But nothing else. "
She was silent then, with her eyes still downcast.
"Please look at me Isabella."
She lifted her eyes and met my gaze shyly. I could see disappointment already present in her eyes, she thought I was going to reject her.
"Do you know that I normally don't take first timers?" I asked.
"Yes Sir". She replied in a calm voice, though I could see the disappointment converting into desperation in her eyes. Hmmm interesting, Alice had trained her well. She was able to keep her voice calm in spite of her inner turmoil.
"And you have never really subbed for anyone before now, right?" I probed further.
"Yes Sir" she replied again. I don't know why but this answer gave me immense satisfaction. I never wanted to see Isabella with any other dom, oh for that matter any other man. What was happening to me, I was never so possessive of my subs and she was not even mine. Yet. I decided to test her a little more.
"Do you know why I don't take up any in-experienced subs?" I asked with a little more force than necessary.
She did not even flinch, rather looked a little flushed. "No sir." She replied.
"Because I am a very strict Dom Isabella. My rules are very precise and are to be followed to the letter. I don't tolerate even the smallest of mistakes and my punishments are harsh. Inexperienced subs tend to make many mistakes in the beginning. I don't like being disappointed in my sub. For the subs – it is difficult because they get more pain than they would have expected. Couple of times that I have tried new subs, they have begged me to release them from the contract within a week. What makes you think you will last?" I asked in a caustic tone. I wanted her very much but did not want her to get into something she will regret later on.
"I don't know Sir but I want to try. I can promise you that I will not throw any tantrum, no crying fits. If something is beyond what I can tolerate, I will safe word and leave without any issues." She replied with confidence.
"And what will you do after that?" I admit I was curious to know if she would look for any other Dom. Somehow that thought was abhorrent to me.
"Then I will bid goodbye to this lifestyle Sir" she replied without any hesitation.
I was shocked at her answer. And pleased as well, pleased a lot actually. I guess she could see the surprise on my face. Because she explained – "I understand that this lifestyle involves a lot of trust. If I really want to have a fruitful relationship, I will literally have to trust my dom with my life. And I cannot do that with anyone other than my Dad and your family. My Dad is out of question and you are the only man available in your family, all others are taken." She smiled at that.
The answer pleased me immensely, but I still wanted her to be sure that she knew what she is getting into. I also wanted to make sure that I will be in control, I had already slipped once today when I called her Bella.
"Hmmm.. Ok, I am willing to give it a try but know that I will not be lenient on you due to your association with my family. You will be like any other sub for me." I re-iterated.
"I don't expect any preferential treatment Sir." She replied.
"Good. Then we are on the same page Ms. Swan. Please visit Jenks on Monday for the contract and other formalities. Here is my cell number, if you have any questions regarding the contract, give me a call and we will discuss. If there is nothing else, I want you at my house at 6pm sharp next Friday. Jenks will give you the address. And don't be late Ms. Swan. I don't like starting off a weekend with a punishment, but I will not hesitate to punish you if you are late, even if it is your first weekend with me."
She nodded.
"Jenks will also give you a list of rules that I expect all my subs to follow. You will start following them as soon as you sign the contact. And if you don't follow any of the rules I expect you to confess on Friday. The rules also have punishments listed against them. I expect you to know by heart all the punishments because I will ask you to tell me the punishment if you flounder. If you don't give me the correct answer, the punishment will be doubled. Understood?" she nodded.
So here I was today, at 5 minutes to 6pm waiting patiently for Isabella to arrive. Exactly at 6pm, my door bell rang. So she was punctual, one less thing to punish her for. Oh I was not being cocky. I was sure she will slip at least once before the night was over. It was her first time as a sub and she was bound to make at least one mistake. I expected it and frankly I wanted to punish her the first weekend itself. I was not a sadist but I knew her behavior during the punishment will decide her future with me. If she could not tolerate the first punishment, she had no business remaining with me. It will be best for both of us to part ways as soon as possible then. And that is why I was nervous today. She had haunted my thoughts the entire week and I did not want to let her go. I was already more attached to her than any other sub I have had so far. I don't know what was this, but it was a definite pull.
I opened the door and found her kneeling near the door with her eyes downcast. Ah, so she did read my instruction sheet carefully.
"Very good Isabella" I praised her, "please get up and follow me inside." I turned inside. I was anxious to get her started, but first needed to be sure that she is physically fit for what I had planned for her. I took her to the living room and sat on the couch. "Kneel' I beckoned her. There was a cushion at my feet. She came and knelt down there.
"Isabella, I am going to call this weekend the test weekend. You will follow all my rules religiously, you will follow all my commands without any hesitation and you will use your safe word whenever needed. Understood?" she nodded.
"Good. Your room is next to the playroom, everything you will need is already there. While you are with me, you will either wear what I pick for you or nothing at all. Though you will sleep in your room, know that you have to be available to me anywhere and anytime the entire weekend. You will not lock the door of the room and as such will never stop me from access. Do you understand?"
"Yes Sir"
"Good. Now let me see how much of the contract did you read properly. Tell me apart from play, what are the other responsibilities over the weekend?"
"I am responsible for cleaning everything in the playroom after use and for the meals during the week. I will be cooking breakfast every morning and all other meals if we don't go out."
"Very good" I was pleased that she remembered everything. "Come, I will give you a tour of the house."
I gave her the grand tour of my apartment and then told her to meet me in the playroom in the standard position in exactly 10 minutes.
I entered the playroom to find her kneeling on the cushion in the middle of the room. I had left her there for at least 30 minutes, but she did not show any indications of discomfort. I was pleased.
"Very good Isabella" I praised her. As expected, she did not reply and remained kneeling with her eyes downcast. "Before we start any play Isabella, I have a ritual that I follow with all my subs. Every Friday, before we start play, I will ask you if you have anything to confess. If you broke any of my rules during the week, I would expect you to let me know that. If there is nothing, we will start with play. If there is something, we will go through the designated punishment before we begin. Is that understood?"
She nodded.
I had very few rules outside of the weekends. I understand that during the week, my subs are not really mine. So the rules are only for ensuring that they will be healthy and ready for the weekend. I expect my subs to take three full meals daily, do some exercise for an hour every day and no self induced orgasms.
"So Isabella, do you have anything to confess? You can speak." I asked cautiously. I was not sure if I wanted the answer to be yes or no. On one hand, I wanted her to goof up so I could punish her and see if we are suited. On the other hand, I was very uncomfortable with the idea of having to punish her. This has never happened to me before. Though I did not enjoy punishing my subs – I was a human being after all, and giving pain to another was not something to be happy about. But I understood that occasional correction was necessary for the sub's improvement. That's why I was never uncomfortable while doling out the needed correction. Nor did I ever regret punishing a sub when she deserved it. But in case of Bella, I had a feeling that I may regret punishing her.
"No Sir, I don't have anything to confess. I did not break any rules in the past week." She replied quietly.
"Good. Let's start then". I felt beyond relieved. I guided her towards the bed and asked her to lie down with her face up. Once she was situated properly, I tied down her wrists and ankles to the bed post using the silk ropes so that she was spread eagle on the bed. Then I removed another silk scarf from my jeans pocket and showed it to her. "I am now going to blind fold you with this. Is it ok?" When she nodded in affirmative, I blind folded her. Now that she could not see me, I laid back and enjoyed the view for some time. She is simply exquisite. She looked heavenly against the dark silken bed spread. I had purposely not braided her hair and they were falling in waves of brown on the bed. She looked so beautiful on my bed, in my playroom. Just seeing her there was getting me excited. My poor junior was straining against my jeans – dying to get out and get some action. But I had to first take care of her. My pleasure would come later.
So I picked up the rabbit fur flogger and started working up her body with slow measured strikes. The strikes were just hard enough to stimulate her skin, but not hard enough to hurt. I wanted her first experience in my playroom to be one of pleasure, not pain. Because in reality, this weekend was a test weekend for both of us. And I wanted her to enjoy her time with me so that she wants to come back if I so desire. So I kept working her up with the flogger till her entire skin was pink and she was panting heavily. Then I moved my attention to her pleasure mound. I started tapping her very wet clit with the handle of the flogger. I could see that this was driving her crazy. When she started thrashing a little bit against the restraints, I knew that she was close. I dropped on my knees between her thighs and started eating her pussy. Oh my God, she was so sweet. She started moaning loudly and I was sure she had reached her limit - she will not be able to stop herself from coming for long. So this was my opportunity. I could let her fail and come without permission. That would allow me to give her probably the best orgasm of her life AND give me a reason to punish her afterwards.
"Sir, please..may I…' she pleaded. I could hear the desperation in her voice. I was actually surprised that she had not lost it by now and had the restrain to ask me for permission. At that instant I was so proud of her. But this was necessary. "Not yet Isabella" I said in my stern dom voice and went back to eating her.
"Sir, please..I cannot hold back any more..please..please.. " she continued pleading. But I did not give her permission. And then it happened. She could not hold off any longer and came hard in my mouth. I lapped up mouthfuls of her sweet juices as if I was a man dying of thirst and this was elixir. Then she went limp. I could understand that she must be exhausted. I quickly removed her restraints and took her in my arms. She was trembling slightly, may be due to coming down from her high.
"Shhh baby, you are ok now. I have you sweetheart" I soothed her and gave her the time to relax. I knew what was coming after this. Internally, I was freaking out. I was already berating myself in getting her to fail on purpose. Though punishing her this weekend was important for our future, now that the time to do that was near, I was beyond terrified. I was dreading it already, not sure how I would be able to inflict pain on this glorious creature in my arms. And so I wanted her to relax and enjoy for some time before all hell broke loose.
After some time I could feel her relaxed enough. There was no point in prolonging things any longer.
"Isabella, are you ok now? You may reply" I asked her gently.
"Yes Sir" she replied.
"Do you know what happens now?" I asked her again
"Yes Sir." She replied confidently.
"Tell me"
"I came without permission. There are consequences that I will have to endure for that."
"And what are the consequences?" I asked again. I wanted to see if she remembers the punishment for coming without permission.
"20 strikes of the implement of your choice Sir" she replied, without any hesitation in her voice. And my heart both soared and fell at the same time. Soared because I was so very proud of this girl and fell because now that she remembered the exact punishment, I could not reduce it.
I lifted her up to a sitting position and removed her blind fold then. She had her eyes closed.
'Open your eyes Isabella.' I commanded
She opened her eyes then and the only thing I could see in them was peace and trust in me. I picked up the bottle of water I always kept on the side table near the bed and offered it to her.
"Drink sweetheart." I had never called a sub sweetheart or baby before. But with Isabella, I just did not have any control on my mouth or my body. I wanted to shower all my love and care on her, sweetheart felt so right on her.
She took the bottle from my hand and drank about half of it.
"Thank you Sir".
'How are you feeling? Do you think you can handle the punishment now or do you want to rest for some time first?" I asked her. Again a first for me – I never asked for a sub's preference, they were punished when I wanted to punish them.
I could see the confusion on her face then. And I internally rebuked myself again. She maybe new but Alice would have definitely trained her on punishments. It was highly uncommon for a dom to ask a sub for her preference.
"Isabella, please be open. Your well being is my first preference always" I encouraged her.
"If it's all right with Sir, I would like to take it now rather than later."
I steeled myself. "Very well then. Please position yourself on the bench." With that I moved towards the chest of drawers. I picked up my heaviest leather strap and moved towards the whipping bench. She was lying on it with her ass up in the air ready for the battering I was about to give it.
"What are your safe words Isabella?" I wanted to remind her that she could use her safe words even during a punishment. Plus I wanted to hear her voice to ascertain if she was nervous.
"Red, Yellow and Green, Sir" she replied. Her voice was steady and confident – no trace of nervousness.
"Very well. Let's begin then. Count after every strike. If you forget to count, the strike will not be valid."
Thwat.. I gave her the first strike and felt a sharp pain in my heart, as if I was the one getting the beating and not her. I heard a faint gasp from her. Come on sweetheart, count – I coaxed her in my mind. I did not want to give her any more strikes than the designated 20.
"1" she said after regaining her composure.
After that I continued raining strokes at her back side. And she dutifully counted each one of them. By the time we reached 10, I was cursing myself for assigning 20 strikes for this offence, for any offence really. How could I think that 20 strikes were suitable for a first offence? I should have at least kept a caveat like for a first offence, the punishment will be half of the designated number. Then we would have been done by now. She was hiccupping silently and I was sure that is I looked at her face, I would see tears. I could have given anything to stop at that point. But I could not.
"What color are we sweetheart?" I asked her.
"G..Green.. Sir.' She all but stammered.
"Are you sure?" I confirmed.
"Yes Sir" she sounded in better control. But I was not ready yet to continue. My hand was just not ready to strike her just yet. I started rubbing her already red ass cheeks with my palm, trying to sooth the sting that I was sure she must be feeling badly.
"Bella, we can stop any time you want to. Really, I will not think any less of you if you safe word now. You have already impressed me immensely by your conduct so far." Please say stop, please – I pleaded with her in my mind.
'No..no Sir, please.. I am perfectly fine….please , continue…' she started panicking.
"Ok sweetheart, ok. We will continue…" I re-assured her. After that I did not stop till we were done with the entire 20. But the moment she said "20", I threw the strap away, gathered her in my arms and sat down on the floor keeping her in my lap. She was sobbing in earnest by then.
'Shh sweetheart. It's all over now. You did so well, I am so proud of you. I promise, everything will be alright now.' I continued whispering soothing words in her ears and continued rubbing her back for comfort.
After some time, she stopped sobbing and started getting up.
"No sweetheart, let me take care of you." I was again going to break my rules. Normally, after a punishment I would have asked the sub to get up and go to her room. Then when I was sure she would be done with the tears, I would have gone in and rubbed the arnica cream on the affected area. If the punishment would have been really harsh, I would have drawn a warmth bath for her to relax and then left her to her own devices. In short – I would have given her the aftercare she needed but with little emotional attachment.
But with Bella, everything was different. I just could not let her go when she was in so much pain. It was just about killing me to see her in such pain; I wanted to punish myself badly for getting her to fail purposely and then punishing her. I needed to analyze all these new feelings, but my first and foremost priority was to lessen her pain and take care of her.
With all that in mind, I picked her up carefully and moved out of the playroom. Before I could realize what I was doing, I was standing in front of my bed, in my bedroom with an astonished Bella still in my arms. I had intended to take her in her room, but it seems my legs had a mind, and a heart, of their own. I realized that I could not let her sleep all alone in the sub room tonight. I wanted her with me here, in my bed so that I could take care of her the entire night. Again – a first for me. No other girl, sub or not, had ever slept in my bed before. This was the first time I was bringing a girl to my bed and loving it. Another thing to analyze later. But first, Bella.
I laid her down on my bed gently, face down. "I will be back in a minute sweetheart". I went into the bathroom, picked up a wet wash cloth and the arnica cream from my cabinet. As I was about to close the cabinet, my eyes landed on the bottle of Tylenol and I picked that up as well - another first. Till now, I was a firm believer of no pain killers after a punishment – there should be no relief from a punishment. But again, I could not see Bella in prolonged pain.
When I came back, Bella was lying rigidly on the bed, in the position as I had left her. I sighed and sat on the bed near her.
"Sweetheart, just relax, I promise I will take care of the pain." And then I started soothing the heat coming from her backside with the wash cloth. 'It's going to sting a little bit, but it will be fine in a minute." After washing the affected area, I gently applied the cream on her ass and upper thighs. They were very red but I was thankful to see that the skin was not broken. There will be no marks. I could see her visibly relaxing with the cream soothing her poor backside.
"Can you get up for a second sweetheart?" She sat up almost immediately. I took 2 Tylenol tablets in one hand and a bottle of water in another. "Here, have this. It will help with the pain." Her eyes grew wide like saucers looking at the tablets in my hand. "They are just Tylenol sweetheart' I assured her.
"But Sir…I don't need them. I am ok, really" she said. She looked panicked again, as if I had asked her something really bad. Oh..Alice must have told her about my no pain killer rule after punishments. I didn't want to go through the details of my change of heart with her just yet, when I myself was not sure why I was offering my submissive Tylenol. I just wanted her to have it. So I decided to use my dom status.
"Isabella, I did not ask whether you need it or not. I just said to have them. Now take them before I put you across my knees again." I threatened, though nothing could have made me hurt her any more today. But she did not know it. So she quickly took the tablets and swallowed them with water. And then she started getting up.
"Where are you going?" I asked, panicking myself. Was the punishment too much? Was the aftercare not enough? Has she decided to end our time together so soon?
"I need to clean the playroom Sir. And then if you don't need me anymore, I will go to my room."
Oh Bella, I will always need you, I thought.
"No need for that today. I will take care of all that. You just relax and go to sleep."
"Thank you Sir, I will take your leave then" she started moving towards the door again. It clicked then, I never told her that I want her to sleep here.
"Isabella, would you mind sleeping here tonight?" I asked.
'Of course not Sir, it will be an honor." She replied. "Can I go pick up my alarm clock from the other room? I will need it to get up tomorrow morning for b'fast."
She looked so spent and tired; I did not want her to get up early in the morning to cook breakfast.
"Don't worry about tomorrow's breakfast. I want you to rest properly tonight, without any tension of getting up early in the morning. Just relax sweetheart, as I said – let me take care of you today." I assured her again
"Now come, back to bed."
She looked a little uncertain, but still came back to bed. I could see that she was not very comfortable with me around. And I needed to talk to Dad anyway, before calling it a day.
"I have some work to complete Isabella. Please go to sleep now and I will join you later."
"Thank you Sir" she said.
I went to my study and locked the door from inside. I did not want her to hear my conversation with Dad just yet.
I dialed his cell phone and waited for him to pick up. He picked up in about 7 rings.
"Edward?"
'Hi Dad, is it a bad time? I know it is late but I really needed to talk to you."
"Of course not son. What happened, you sound very pensive."
"Dad, I am feeling very out of sorts. I don't know what is happening to me. I really need you to help me sort out all this."
"Sure Edward. Tell me"
"You already know that this weekend I had a test weekend planned with a new sub."
"Yes Edward. Did something go wrong there?"
"I am not sure whether something went wrong Dad. I am just so confused. She.. this girl who I am testing with is nothing like my other subs. I met her last week and since then she has been constantly on my mind. As if she has some kind of a hold on me, my heart."
I heard my father's gasp on the line. I have never mentioned my heart and my sub in the same sentence before.
"Go on son. Tell me more"
"Since before the weekend began, I was terrified of losing her. That if she did not meet my standards, I will have to let her go. And I was terrified of this happening."
"So what happened son? Is she not up to your standards?" Dad asked
"No, no Dad. Not at all. She is simply perfect, so beautiful, so graceful in her submission. Though she is a novice in this, she did not falter even once the whole evening. It was I who faltered really"
"How so?"
"Before starting the evening, I had decided that I had to punish her at least once before the weekend was over. So that I know if she is suited to me or not. I was already feeling too attached to her. And if we were not right for each other, I wanted to make a clean break quickly without investing anything further in our relationship. So when we started playing, I pushed her to come without permission deliberately."
"Deliberately?" Dad asked again
"Yes Dad. I knew that she had reached her limit and she was begging me to give her permission, but I still did not. And so she failed."
"Edward…this is not right son"
"I know Dad, believe me I know. But I still did it. And then it all fell back on my face." I laughed bitterly, "thinking of it now, I guess it serves me right."
"What happened Edward. Did she refuse the punishment?"
"No Dad. She accepted it whole heartedly and bore it so well. She is so brave. She did not safe word, she did not even tell me once to stop. It was I who could not take it. Dad, I just… it killed me to see her in pain. I was really pathetic, it felt as if I was the one on the receiving end of the punishment. I think it would have been better to endure the physical pain instead of the pain I felt in my heart. Once it was over, I just could not leave her for a second. And so I broke all my rules for her. I carried her in my arms to my bed, bathed her bruised backside, applied cream on it and then gave her 2 Tylenols. Then I put her to sleep in my bed, told her not to worry about cleaning the playroom or making breakfast tomorrow morning. Just to rest and relax. I mean Dad, it was like nothing else mattered, except her comfort and her well being. So tell me, what's happening to me? Am I no longer capable to be a dom?"
I heard Dad laughing on the phone.
"Dad please, this is certainly not something to joke about." I said indignantly.
"Oh no son, not at all. It's just that I had never thought that I will see this day with you. I am so happy for you."
"What?"
"Ok Edward. Let me tell you something. What happened with you today happens with me every time I have to punish your mother for something."
"What do you mean Dad?"
"I mean that just like you, when I am punishing your mother I feel like it would have been better if I was receiving the physical punishment instead of the pain in my chest for causing her pain. And after the punishment is over, the only thing that matters to me is her comfort, her well being. Can you guess why this is so?"
"Because you love her Dad. More than anything else in this world, you love Mom. I know that. But what does that have to do with my situation?" I asked
"Think Edward. Why would you behave the same towards this sub of yours like this man who loves his sub more than anything in this world"
It struck me like lighting then – does that mean I loved Bella.
"Oh my God Dad, do you think I am falling in love with my girl here?"
"Yes son, I do hope so."
"Oh jeez, what do I do now Dad? What if she does not want me like that? I can't lose her Dad." I was getting all panicky.
"As if that could happen" Dad whispered.
"Dad, what did you say?"
"Nothing son, just that no one in her right mind would reject your love."
"So what do you suggest I should do now?"
"First of all, tell her everything son?"
"Tell her what Dad"
"That you think you are in love with her. And then discuss with her how you both want to go forward from here."
"That's cool advice Dad. Thanks so much. She is sleeping right now. But I will definitely talk to her first thing tomorrow. Thank you Dad, thank you so much. You can go back to mom now" I knew they had their playtime scheduled every Friday evening.
"Oh thank you Son. Edward, uhem… ?"
"Yes, Dad?"
"Edward, were you very hard on her today? I mean, is she alright son? It's just that it's her first time with an actual dom and we all worry… She is almost like a daughter to me and your mom."
"Dad!' I was beyond surprised, "how do you know who she is? Did she tell you all?"
"No no, not at all son. We just knew that she had interviewed for you last week. Alice had set her up with Jenks. But after that she strictly forbade us from interfering at all, she wanted to do it on her own."
I exhaled with relief, "then how Dad?" I asked
"We are your parents kids, we can join the dots on our own", I knew Dad was smiling, "we knew that you had your test weekend set up for this week. And when your Mom invited her to lunch tomorrow, she begged off saying that she is busy. Then when your Mom told her to come by for dinner tomorrow, she begged off again saying that she is busy the whole day Saturday. By the time your mom invited her to Sunday brunch, the poor dear had no other option but to say that she is unavailable the whole weekend. That is highly unusual for her if she is in Seattle and not going to Forks to visit Charlie. So, as I said – joining the dots really."
"Oh, I see" I deadpanned.
"You did not answer my question Edward. How is she? Is she ok? I mean can she walk?"
"Dad, what the hell! Do you think I am a monster?"
"No son, but I know that you are a strict Dom, more than most others. I actually tried to dissuade her to go for you as her first Dom. But she was adamant, it was you or no one."
Listening my father confirm what Bella had already told me warmed my heart at once. "No Dad, I was not very hard on her. I just could not be, even if I had wanted to. My hand wouldn't have cooperated. As it is, I want to punish myself for what I did to her. It was not right to get her to fail on purpose, whatever was my reasoning to do that. In the end, it was wrong."
"I agree son. You should go ahead and do it."
"Do what Dad?"
"Punish yourself. You will not be at peace till you do that."
"You think so Dad?"
"I know so son." He chuckled.
"Ok Dad. Thank you so much for everything. Bye"
'Bye son. Take care of Bella and yourself. I will see you tomorrow."
BPOV
The first thing that I noticed when I woke up was that I was lying on the most comfortable bed ever. I opened my eyes and looked around, trying to place where I was. Immediately I was reminded of the previous evening and everything that happened. I was in Edward's bedroom, on his bed. I had spent the evening in his playroom, had the best orgasm of my entire life and endured my first punishment with dignity. Before I decided to apply for Edward, Alice had sat me down and explained everything about her brother – about how strict a dom he was, about his beliefs regarding punishments and so on. But when Carlisle tried to dissuade me from taking up Edward as my first dom, she vehemently opposed him and said that she has a good feeling about Edward and I. But Edward had broken all of his rules yesterday. I was not sure why, but I intended to find out. If he treated me differently only because I was a family friend, I was going to lose my shit completely. If, however, it was something else, something that I had hoped for all these years…..
There was a robe on the chair next to the bed. Since it was not there yesterday night, I assumed Edward had put it there for me. I quickly put in on and looked for the bathroom. After freshening up and brushing my teeth with the spare toothbrush, I made my way towards the kitchen to find Edward standing there cooking something, probably breakfast. I quickly kneeled down near the entrance of the kitchen and said – "Good morning Sir'
He jumped a little, as if he was not expecting anyone at this hour.
"Oh, you are up." He said shutting the burner off and came towards me, "please get up sweetheart. If you don't mind, I would like to talk to you as Edward and Bella first, explain some things to you before we decide anything else.'
Oh, I got it, he is going to let me know gently that he is disappointed in me. After all I could not even hold off my orgasm the first time we went into his playroom. He was used to subs trained to follow his every command and I could not even follow his first command. And then I cried like a baby when he punished me. He must be disgusted with me. Whatever he did yesterday was just because I was Alice's friend. I felt as if my heart would break in two – I will never have him now. But I had to be strong – I had to leave before I broke down completely. I had plenty of time to cry on my own later.
I got up quickly. "There is no need for any explanation Sir, I understand that I am not what you expected. You don't have to be gentle with me. I will just go and change. Then I will be gone." With that I started walking towards the sub room.
"What! Wait Bella. Please…you don't understand. I don't want you to leave, ever.."
"You don't want me to leave? You want me as your sub?" I asked astonished.
"Yes, no. I mean, I don't want you to leave. And… Look, can we please sit in the living room and talk before you jump to any conclusions. Can you do that for me my Bella? Promise that you will listen to me first, everything that I have to say, before you decide to leave?" My heart melted at "my Bella" and I would have done almost anything he asks me to after this.
I nodded. A beautiful smile broke on his face as he exhaled in relief. He took my hand then and guided me to the living room couch. "How are you feeling today? Any pain?"
I shook my head in no. There was no pain at all, I was expecting some discomfort at least, but there was none.
'I hoped so. I had applied the cream a few more times during the night hoping that it will help in healing."
"Thank you' I replied with gratitude. He did really take care of me the entire night.
"Sit please" he situated me on the couch and sat on the floor near my legs.
We were both silent for some time. And then he started.
"When I first saw your application, I was intrigued with the Forks connection and vaguely remembered a friend of Alice named Bella Swan, the daughter of the police chief of Forks. That's why I wanted to meet you. However, the moment you entered my office last week, it was as if I was under some spell. The whole week I could think of nothing else but you and how much I wanted for us to work. By the time it was 6pm Friday, I was a nervous wreck. So I made the most stupid decision of my life. I decided that I will punish you at least once before the weekend was over. So that I know if we were suited for each other or not. I was already attached so much to you. And if we were not right for each other, I wanted to make a clean break quickly without investing anything further in our relationship."
I gasped at this and started getting up.
"Please, just hear me out sweetheart. I know what I did was wrong, believe me I know and I will atone for it. You promised you will listen to everything I have to say before coming to any conclusion, please.. " he implored. So I sat down again.
"So when we started playing I let you come without permission deliberately. You were so good sweetheart, I had not expected you to hold on for as long as you did, to be able to ask me for permission, beg me for permission before coming. I knew you had reached your limit but still the bastard that I am, I did not give you my permission nor did I stop. I will never forgive myself for that." He sighed then.
"You already know what happened after that. The way you handled everything – I am so proud of you baby, you were flawless really, so brave, so beautiful. But I.." he laughed a bitter laugh and then raised his face to look at me. "the whole charade that I had created to test you fell back on me. It became my test more than yours. I cannot tell you how difficult it was for me to inflict pain on you, to punish you for something that was my fault, not yours. That is why I kept asking you to tell me to stop – I was not brave enough to admit to my mistake nor did I have the strength to continue hurting you. But you… you were fantastic baby. You took all that I gave you like a champ." He sighed again, "and after it was over, it was as if nothing else mattered than your comfort and wellbeing. If it would have been anyone else, I would have just asked them to get up after the punishment and go to the sub room. I would have just applied the cream on them in their room and left them on their own. I would have expected them to clean the playroom before the next morning and expected breakfast at 7am sharp the next morning. But with you, everything was different. I just could not leave you – not even for a second. I had to take care of your pain myself, had to ensure that you got the rest you needed to recuperate. Do you know you are the first girl – sub or not – who has slept with me on my bed? Do you know you are the first one who I gave Tylenol to after a punishment?"
I nodded dumbly. Internally, my heart was soaring but externally I was in shock and expressionless. Was it possible that he feels something for me? Was it possible that we could have a future together like I had imagined for so many years now?
"Do you know why I did all this?" he asked, getting up and setting next to me on the couch. When I shook my head in no, he captured my face in his hands, "because my sweet girl, I think I am falling in love with you. Would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"
Hearing this kind of shook me out of the stupor I was in. Before we moved forward, I too had to come clean. And hope that he will still feel the same about me after all is said and done.
"Sir.." he gave a reproachful look, "Edward..you need to know some things about me before you decide to have me in your life. I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you in Forks."
"What.." he tried to interrupt me.
'No please, listen to me first. I did listen to you before saying anything, didn't I?'
'Yes, that you did sweetheart" he gave me his dazzling smile, 'ok, go on. Though I don't really need to know anything else, your love is enough, that you have loved me for so long is a bonus.' He took me in his arms then.
"At first I thought it was just a teenager crush on my best friend's big brother. But as the years went by, I realized it was much more than just a crush. I could not go out with any other boy, I compared every single one with you and they all came up short. There were times when I was so frustrated with myself, pinning away for someone who was way beyond my reach. But it's just that no one else could stir any feelings in me. If any other boy would touch me, I would feel as if I am betraying you."
"Oh sweetheart, if only I had known" he spoke near my ear.
"The only time I would be able to bring myself to….to come… was when I imagined you doing naughty things to me.'
"What things baby?" he spoke again in his heavy dom voice.
"Really naughty things, like what you did yesterday"
"oh really.. " he crooned again nibbling my neck gently.
"Edward, stop distracting me" I admonished him. "Ok sweetheart" he chuckled.
"Those fantasies got me thinking and before long I was reading everything I could get about BDSM on the net. I thought may be that was the key of getting over you. Then when I thought I was ready, I went to a brunch in Desire."
"Desire…my Dad's club?"
"Yes, and I saw you there with a sub. The same evening I met Alice again after so many years. That was one hell of a reunion really. She quickly found out my leanings towards being a submissive and took me under her wings. I did not tell her about seeing you there or knowing that you are a Dom. She taught me everything I know about being a sub, with help from your mom. And before you ask me, no I have never subbed for your dad or Jasper, not even for training. I have never been with any other dom before you… I wanted to save myself for you. It was either you or no one else'
"Hmmm..that's why Dad was so concerned about you yesterday" he mused
"What, did you talk to Carlisle yesterday?"
'Yes love, I did. I will tell you about it in a minute. You complete your story first" he encouraged.
"So once Alice thought I was ready, she started pushing me to get a Dom. That's when she told me about you being a Dom." I looked at him and smiled.
"Carlisle tried to dissuade me – he said that you are one of the sternest Doms he knew and that it would be better if I started off with someone lighter. But I refused. I just could not imagine giving myself up to anyone other than you. So then Alice gave me Jenks' contact. You already know what happened after that."
"Yes, I do baby. Thank God you did that. Otherwise I wouldn't have known what I was missing all this time" he sighed again.
"So, do you still feel the same way about me?"
"Of course sweetheart, always, only you." He said taking my hand in his right hand. That's when I noticed that his right hand was bandaged – a white handkerchief was bound across his entire palm.
I gasped looking at it. "Edward, what happened? Why is your hand bandaged?" I asked.
"Oh this..this is nothing baby, nothing for you to worry about."
"It's not nothing Edward" I said taking his hand and looking at the makeshift bandage. He looked extremely nervous. That's when something he had said earlier came back to me – that he will never forgive himself for getting me to fail on purpose yesterday and that he will atone for that. I was horrified at the thought that he may have hurt himself as punishment for hurting me unjustly. "Edward, what did you do?" I asked, with tears just about ready to fall imagining his pain.
'oh sweetheart, please don't be upset. I had to, I really had no other option. What I did was wrong, it had to be punished. Even Dad agreed with me."
The tears were falling in earnest now. "How?" I sobbed.
"Kitchen knife" he sighed.
"Oh my God, you cut yourself? Oh my God, did you…did you put anything on it. Please, please… let me look at it. Let me take care of it like you did for me, please.' I begged him.
"Hey…don't be so agitated sweetheart. It's alright, here, look" he opened the handkerchief.
There it was – a long deep cut spanning through the entire breadth of his palm.
EPOV
The look on Bella's face when she looked at the cut was of extreme pain. I had not seen so much pain in her eyes even yesterday during her punishment.
"Edward, this is simply too much. Oh my God, oh my God…' she had tears falling freely on her face then. She picked my hand up and started kissing the palm. The sensation was beyond anything I had felt ever. "Oh my poor baby.." she kept saying.
"Come, let me bandage it for you' She said pulling me up towards the bathroom where I kept my first aid box. Once there, she bathed the wound with antiseptic water, applied the ointment and bandaged it with proper gauge. All through this time I just kept looking at her lovely face – no one except my mother had ever taken care of me like this.
After she was done, she kissed my hand again on top of the bandage and then looked at me sternly "Edward Cullen – promise me you will never do anything like this again. You will never again hurt yourself. Promise me" she implored.
"Ok sweetheart, I promise. Next time if I commit a mistake, I will go to Dad and let him punish me." I smiled.
"That reminds me. Did you tell your Dad I was your test sub this weekend. Because I did not."
"No love. He already knew. I called him yesterday after putting you to sleep. Told him everything I was feeling towards this new sub of mine, without telling him your name. He helped me sort out my feelings, told me that I should talk to you and tell you the truth clearly. I still did not tell him who you were. And then when we were about to hang up, he asked me if I was too hard on you and that if you were alright. He said that it was your first time with an actual Dom and they all were worried about you. I was so surprised. So I asked him how did he know. That's when he told me they worked it out on their own."
"How?' she asked.
"You see sweetheart they knew I had a test weekend planned with a new sub this weekend. Then when my mom invited you for lunch today, she found out that you were unavailable the whole weekend. She knew you were in Seattle. So they just joined the dots" I smiled.
'Your folks are nosy, aren't they?" she teased.
'Yes, that they are sweetheart. But above all, they care for you. You are like a daughter to them. And I am sure they would not hesitate to pull up anyone who tried to hurt you, even if he is their son."
'I know, and I am so thankful for that." She sighed.
"So, now tell me - would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?" I asked smiling.
"Of course, I would love to Edward. I have just one more thing that I have to tell you?" she hesitated.
"What is it sweetheart, you know you can tell me anything, right?" I encouraged her gently.
'When I said I have saved myself for you, I meant more than just the dom/sub thing. I meant that I am…. I have saved everything of mine for you."
"Bella – are you trying to tell me you are a virgin?" I asked astonished.
She nodded shyly, with that deep blush spreading on her face.
"Hey..it's nothing to be ashamed of sweetheart. I am honored, really…look at me please Bella" I implored her. When she lifted her face up to look into my eyes, I tried to show all my love for her in my gaze. "I will treat it as the greatest gift ever sweetheart, I promise." I was so thankful that I did not decide to do anything that required penetration yesterday night. I would have never forgiven myself if I had taken her virginity roughly or god forbid, with a toy. It is going to be painful for her as it is and I did not want her to suffer more than what is unavoidable.
"I have one more thing that I want to know your opinion on. I would like us to be boyfriend-girlfriend first, before we become dom and sub again. It will give us time to know each other better without the whole command and obey business. What do you say?"
Her face fell "Was I not good yesterday? Did I do something wrong?"
'No no sweetheart, I have already told you – you were simply fantastic. But this is exactly why I don't want us to be dom and sub again so soon. Love, I don't want you to think always as my sub. I want you to be comfortable as Edward and Bella first, get to know me – Edward, not the Dom, but the man. I want you to be, first and foremost, my girlfriend and then my sub. Do you understand?'
She nodded, but did not look too convinced.
Time to come clean – 'And there is one more reason" I took a deep breath then, 'I have to prepare myself to be a Dom worthy of you as a sub. Yesterday, yesterday was an eye opener for me love. I always prided myself as being a no-nonsense Dom. But yesterday, you my dear, tore through all my defenses. Though you did not know it, I was putty in your hands. You could have asked anything and I would have done it. And we can't be having that when we are Dom and sub, right baby?"
She smiled. "Right"
"So?"
"Ok, we will be boy friend/girl friend for some time till you learn to be a Dom to the girl you love." Now she was teasing me.
"Speaking of Dom and Sub – I need to ask you something - When you knew you will not be able to hold back any longer, why didn't you safe word love?"
She looked a little uncomfortable. "I thought if I safe worded the first time we were playing, you would think I was not worth spending your time on. I thought you would send me packing since I was so in-experienced. Believe me, I have trained in orgasm control with Alice. I can hold off for much much longer. But yesterday, with you eating me for the first time in reality…it was just too much Edward. I have already told you that I used to imagine you doing this to me and when it started happening for real, I just lost myself. I felt so good, so good. After so many years fantasizing about you, I finally had you where I needed you to be. So I just thought that I will come and then take the punishment without any fuss. I prayed that you will keep me when you see that I am capable of enduring your punishments. No punishment, however harsh, would have kept me away from you."
Oh my God, she loved me so much. "And that's why you did not safe word or let me stop during the punishment as well. Right? You wanted to show me that you can take anything I throw your way." I asked.
She just nodded.
'So what would you have done if I had caned you?" I asked her again. Cane was a soft limit for her.
"It would have hurt like a bitch I am sure. And I don't think I could have lasted till 20. I would have passed out with the pain, but…"
"But wouldn't have safe worded, right?" I asked, pained.
She nodded again.
"Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry, so sorry for driving you to such desperation." I took her in my arms. Not that I would have ever done that, but the possibility itself was frightening. "You have to promise me something now sweetheart, ' I continued, "never again will you hesitate to safe word with me. Never. Promise me" I insisted.
"I promise Edward. Never again." She replied.
"Good. Come now, time for breakfast." I pulled her in the kitchen.