Diclaimer: Only own Monroe

When I came to I realized that I was laying on the floor with something heavy laying half on my back. The next thing I knew was this pain in my side. The thing on back hoped off and I rolled over clutching my side. I opened my eyes and saw Phil next to me shirtless and Alan on the ground not too far from us. I looked down and saw I was only wearing Phil's black button up. I groaned and laid back.

I looked at Phil who told Alan to put on some pants.

Alan looked at Phil frantically "Phil, do not go in the bathroom."

"Al, just calm down. It's me."

Alan stood up and looked even more frantic "Phil, there is a tiger in the bathroom."

Stu looked over at us from the chair confused "What's going on?"

"There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!"

Phil stood up "Okay, okay, Al. Al, I'll check it out."

"Don't go in. Don't go in, don't go in. Be careful. Don't, don't."

Phil opened the door and looked in. He turned back around and shut the door "Oh fuck. He's not kidding. There's a tiger in there."

Stu looked at him "No there's not."

Phil reached for his blue button up next to me and I stood up. He looked at me "Are you wearing my shirt? Wait, are you naked under my shirt?"

I just sighed "Yes and yes. I'm going to put real clothes on."

I walked out of the room and into my bedroom. I changed my clothes, brushed my hair and teeth, and walked back out into the living room.

I heard Phil say that he would just call someone's cell. I heard a phone ringing and when I walked into the room I saw Alan answering a phone.

"Hello."

Phil looked at him from the couch with his phone attached to his ear "Alan."

"Yeah?"

"It's Phil."

"Oh hey Phil, wait this is Doug's Phone." He hung it up and looked at us "This is Doug's phone."

Just then we heard a baby crying. We all looked at each other and got up and walked over to the closet. We opened the door and saw a baby laying in a car seat dressed in a blue onsie with a blue beanie and blanket.

Phil looked at him "Whose fucking baby is that?"

I leaned in and picked up the baby and started rocking him to soothe him.

Stu looked at Alan "Alan are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?"

"Yeah, I checked all the rooms. No one's here. Check its collar or something."

I looked up from the baby in my arms "Alan, babies don't have collars sweetie."

"Oh."

Phil rolled his eyes "We don't have time for this. Let's go hook up with Doug, we'll deal with the baby later."

Stu looked at Phil "Phil we're not gonna leave a baby in the room. There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom."

Phil shrugged "It's not our baby."

I glared at him "Quit being such a dick."

Alan looked up "Yeah I've got to side with them on this."

Phil sighed "Alright fine. Okay, we'll take the baby with us. Could you at least just find some pants."

Phil walked off and Alan looked down and then back at the baby "Can I hold him?"

I smiled "As soon as you put pants on buddy."

He nodded and left to pants on. I looked down at the babies carrier and saw one of those chest carriers.

"Stu would grab that."

I pointed to it with my left hand and Stu stared wide eyed at my hand "What the hell is that?"

I looked at my confused "What the hell is wha- Oh my god!"

There was a huge diamond ring on my wedding ring finger.

Stu looked up at me "You got married, Doug is missing, there's a tiger in the bathroom, and a baby in closet."

My eyes got big "Doug is missing?"

Phil walked up behind me "Stu you weren't supposed to tell her until we knew something for sure."

Stu looked at Phil "We do know something for sure. Monroe got married last night."

Phil looked at my hand "Holy hell."

I glared at them "Later. We have to find my brother."

Alan walked back to us wearing pants "Can I hold the baby now."

I sighed "Put on that carrier and I'll strap him in."

After we got the baby strapped in we left to the elevator. We stood in it in silence. Stu pulled his make-shift ice pack off his mouth.

"Why can't we remember a goddamn thing from last night?"

Phil crossed his arms "Because we obviously had a great fucking time. Why don't you just stop worrying for one minute? Be proud of yourself."

"I don't know Phil. Maybe it's because I'm missing a tooth. Or maybe it's because there's a tiger in our hotel room, which incidentally is completely destroyed. Maybe it's because Monroe got married and we don't even know to who. Oh, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, I know. Maybe it's because we found a baby, a human baby. That's it. That's it. It's because we found a fucking baby."

Alan stood up straight "I don't think you should curse around the child."

Stu looked at him "Really? I don't think you should be around a child."

The elevator door opened and this older woman walked in and looked at the baby.

"Oh, how cute. What's his name?"

Phil looked around "Ben."

Alan snapped "Carlos."

The woman looked at me confused "It's Ben. He just refuses to acknowledge we didn't name him Carlos like he wanted."

She nodded and looked away.

Phil, Alan, and I were sitting around a table by the pool with Carlos waiting for Stu to get back from looking for Doug.

"Hey Phil, Monroe. Look."

We both looked at Alan who grabbed Carlos' wrist and made it look like he was jacking off.

"He's jacking his little weenis."

Phil chuckled "Pull yourself together, man."

Alan looked at Carlos "Not at the table Carlos."

We all chuckled a little and Stu came and sat down with us.

"I looked everywhere. Gym, casino, front desk. Nobody's seen Doug. He's not here."

Phil shook his head "He's fine. He's a grown man. Seriously Stu you gotta calm down. Here, have some juice."

Phil put a glass of juice in front of Stu and Stu vomited.

"I can't have juice right now."

Phil grabbed a pen and a napkin "Alright let's just track this thing. What's the last thing we remember doing last night?"

Alan was closing his eyes "Well the first thing was we were on the roof and we were having those shots of jager."

At the sound of jager Stu looked like he was going to vomit again.

I ran my hands through my hair "And then we ate dinner at The Palm. Right?"

Alan nodded "That's right. And then we played craps at the Hard Rock, and I think Doug was there."

Phil nodded while writing "That sounds right. No, no. he definitely was."

Stu shrugged "Yeah, you know what guys? I don't even remember going to dinner."

Phil put the pen down and leaned back "I know. What the fuck. I don't think I've ever been this hung-over."

Alan smiled "After the Hard Rock I blacked out. It was like emptiness. Ha ha."

Phil sat back up "Okay. We have up until 10 pm so that gives us a 12 hour window where we could have lost him."

Alan reached into his pocket and pulled something white out "What is this?"

Stu's eyes widened "Oh, my God. That is my tooth. Why do you have that? What else is in your pockets?"

Phil perked up "No, this is a good thing. Check your pockets. Check your pockets."

Since I wore a dress last night and didn't bring a purse I just leaned back and watched the guys empty their pockets.

Stu picked up a receipt "I have an ATM receipt from the Bellagio at 11:05 for $800! I am so fucked. "

Alan picked up a ticket "I have a valet ticket from Caesar's Looks like we got in at 5 am."

I looked up from baby Carlos "Oh shit. We drove last night?"

Alan laughed "Driving drunk. Classic." He looked up at Phil's arm "What's on your arm?"

Phil looked down and saw the hospital band "What the fuck?"

Stu leaned over and grabbed Phil's arm "Jesus Phil. You were in the hospital last night."

Phil shrugged "I guess so, yeah."

Alan looked at him "You okay?"

Phil looked at Alan weird "Yeah Alan I'm fine."

Stu leaned back "What the hell is going on?"

I looked at Stu "It's a good thing. We have a lead now. We can head to the hospital, I can check out Phil's records and we can ask the doctor some questions."

"Hey, Stu, watch this."

Stu looked up at Alan and saw him making Carlos jerk off again.

"You ever seen a baby do that?"

"Dude, Alan, not cool."

After paying for breakfast we all went to get the car. Phil and I walked over to give the valet the ticket. We were standing at the desk.

Phil handed the ticket over and looked at me "So you got married huh?"

I shrugged "I guess so. I think the worst part is that I don't even know to who."

Phil smirked "Even worse than the possibility of us having sex?"

I gave him a look .

He chuckled and looked down "We'll find the guy and get you guys an annulment. Although if it was me I wouldn't let you get away so easy."

I looked at Phil confused "What do you mean?"

He was about to answer when the clerk came back. He turned and faced the clerk and finished up there. He took the receipt and we walked back over to the guys.

Alan looked at Phil "Hey, Phil, I don't think Doug would want us to take the Mercedes."

"Relax, we'll be careful."

"My dad is crazy about that car. He left Doug in charge-"

"Alan. We got bigger problems here. Doug could be in the hospital. He could be hurt. Let's worry about the car later."

Stu looked up "Uh, guys? Check it out."

We all looked up and saw a mattress impaled on a statue.

Alan stated what we were all thinking "Is that the mattress from Doug's room?"

Phil shook his head "What the fuck?"

We all walked over to a couple of guys dressed in golfing attire.

Phil got the guys attention "Hey, man, what's going on here?"

"Some asshole threw his bed out the window last night."

I looked at him "No shit."

"Yeah. Some guys just can't handle Vegas."

The guy shut his trunk and got in his car. He drove off and a cop car pulled in its place. My jaw dropped at the sight of it. I started hitting Phil's arm to get his attention. He turned and saw it.

The valet got out the car "Here's your car officers."

Stu looked at it "Oh God."

Phil pushed his glasses up "Alright, everybody act cool. Alright, don't say a word. Come on, let's just get in and go. Come on."

We all walked to the car and I got in the front while Phil got in the driver's seat. I was putting on my seatbelt when I heard crying.

I looked back and saw Stu looking at Carlos.

"You just nailed the baby."

"Are my glasses okay?"

"Your glasses are fine dick."

They got into the back and we took off.