A/N: Here's a super long chapter for you guys. I'm hoping to post the next chapter today as well, because IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! :D

Yes, Neko is another year older today. The next chapter is birthday-themed, so I thought it'd be awesome to post it on my actual birthday, since I have nothing better to do with my life.

Anyway, I'll stop with the author's now, and get on with the massive chapter.

I own Naruto, who else would?

(First Person: Katie!)

I knew my plans for the day were going to be seriously fucked up as soon as I heard what sounded like a pack of rabid dogs trying to destroy my front door.

It turns out it was only Mel, being the annoying bitch that is my best friend.

What really made me know my day was going to be messed up was when I opened the door and heard said best friend's terrified ranting about a cardboard box that made cat noises. If I could anime fall without hurting myself, I would have done right there and then.

Eventually I stupidly agreed to go out and open this box that had unfortunately decided to appear on my lawn.

Whatever I expected to find inside was definitely not this.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I facepalmed. "This is seriously gonna get annoying."

Inside this box that appeared out of nowhere was a bunch of crazily coloured kittens. A little silver one hissed at me when I looked at it, so I glared back, making it stop and turn around in what looked like a kitten strop.

"What's gonna get- AWWW!"

At that point, Mel decided to run over and hug the living shit out of the nearest kitten, which happened to be one of the smallest there; a red one with brown eyes that currently looked like it was suffocating.

I gently removed the poor animal from her death grip, so she grabbed another one, this time a blonde one with pale blue eyes. Getting over the previous excitement, she only held this one up in front of her and stared at it with a huge grin on her face like she'd just hit oil.

"Oh my Jashin Katie! We have to keep them! They're so adorable!" she cooed. I swear the silver one perked up when she said 'Jashin'. "I couldn't live with myself if we left them out here all alone."

"Mel, just look at the colour of these things," I said. "They are definitely not natural cat fur colours."

Just to prove my point, I held up one of the larger ones, a light blue one with some black stripes below it's eyes that looked strangely like gills.

"So? They're just special, that makes them even cuter!" She scratched the head of the blonde one then, which it seemed to enjoy.

"My point is, their old owner probably dyed them, which I'm pretty sure could be classed as abuse. I'm not having some mentally scarred, brightly coloured strays running around my house, pissing on everything I own." I stood up and started to shuffle back towards the front door then, but Mel surprised both me and the kitty she was petting with a rush of speed and stood in front of me with a puppy dog face.

She shoved the cat about an inch from my face and said, "Come on Katie, not even you, the most stubborn bitch in the world, can say no to that little face."

I looked straight at the cat, which looked completely freaked out.

"Well..." I turned around and looked back into the box at the remaining kittens. I gotta admit, they all looked reasonably well behaved even after being trapped in a box for Jashin knows how long, except for the silver one of course.

Looking back at the cat dangling in front of my face, I melted. It had decided to give me one of the most adorable confused looks ever. I couldn't help it; I gave in to the little blonde.

Sighing, I turned back towards the house. "You win, Mel, put the cat back in the box and bring them in."

"YES!" she squealed.

I heard all of the cats hissing with protest at being moved as she picked up the box and practically skipped into the hallway behind me.

I kicked off my boots and walked into the living room, flopping on the sofa as the terrified and annoyed cats were dumped on the carpet in front of me, before being lifted out of their box, one by one.

Even though I'm not a cat lover whatsoever, they were pretty interesting to watch.

I don't mean that in a creepy I-like-to-stare-at-small-animals way, I mean that they were interesting because they didn't act like any other cats I've seen.

They all split off into pairs and most began to cautiously investigate their surroundings, while the others either sat or laid down, mewing at each other, almost like they were talking.

Obviously they weren't, but it would be totally awesome if they were, admit it.

(Third Person!)

"What is this place?"Kisame asked, as he nudged an abandoned DVD with a paw.

"It seems to be the red haired girl's home." Itachi replied. "Leader-sama, what is that device? I don't recognise it."

He had gestured to the laptop which Katie had grabbed from the coffee table next to her.

"I'm not sure Itachi, I don't recognise most of the items here." Pein said. He then addressed the rest of the Akatsuki. "Although I highly doubt anything here is dangerous, don't get too close to anything that you aren't familiar with."

"Yes, Leader-sa-"

The group were interrupted by a loud squeal.

They all turned around to see Tobi lying on his back, getting his belly scratched and purring. The squeal had came from Mel, thanks to the black and orange cat licking her finger.

Deidara and Sasori just sighed at the masked idiot's behaviour, before carrying on exploring the room.

"Katie!"

Katie lifted her gaze off of the screen in front of her to briefly look at the girl who called her, before 'hn'-ing in acknowledgement.

"Holy fuck, the girl speaks Uchiha!" Hidan laughed.

"You're hilarious, Hidan." Itachi muttered.

"We have to name them!" Mel exclaimed.

"Are you serious?" Katie said.

"Of course I am! They're our new pets, so we have to name them. I've got some good names too, come on!" she pressed.

"Alright, alright, stop bugging me. What one do you want to name first?"

(First Person: Katie)

Mel stopped tickling the striped cat and put it in her lap, starting to stroke its head. The purring increased, and it nuzzled her hand with its nose.

"We've got to name this little guy first." she said. "I think he's the only one that hasn't been mean to me so far."

I looked over at the teeny kitty and I've gotta say, it was one of the stranger looking ones there.

It had black fur all over except for little white paws and an orange face. It was so bright actually looked like it had dunked its head into a tub of radioactive goo or something.

What interested me the most was the thin black line that curled into a spiral on his face. For some strange reason, a picture of a chibi Tobi from Naruto popped into my head.

I shook my head, clearing it of the random image.

"Well I've got no nothing, I'm pretty terrible at naming pets." This was true, the last pet I had was a dog called Fido. "You got anything?"

"Duh, just look at his face! It totally looks like a lollipop, call him that!" she said.

I should've known Mel would say something so dumb and obvious.

I facepalmed. "Mel, you can't call a cat Lollipop, it's cruel."

"Well you haven't got anything better." she pouted.

"Fine. Sorry buddy, you have now been christened Lollipop."

She squealed a quick 'yay' before sticking the poor thing back with the others.

"Nice name, dickhead." Hidan cackled.

"Thank you Hidan, Tobi likes his name too!" he cheered.

"Heh, watch out Hidan, looks like you're next!" Kisame said.

The silver kitten that hissed at me earlier was Mel's next target, and she picked it up, gently smacking it when it tried to bite her.

If cats could look shocked, that would be how it's done. The face it was pulling was priceless.

"That little bastard hissed at me earlier, so now's my time for revenge." I put on my best intimidating face and had a stare out with the little shit until I could think of a name. "AHA! Let's call him Pussy!"

The cat growled and tried to attack me but Mel smacked him again, releasing him. The rest of the kittens had burst out into what sounded like a kitten version of laughter, while me and Mel just rolled around laughing our asses off at the animal's reaction.

"Nice name, dickhead!" Kisame mocked, making the kitties break down laughing again.

"Not fucking funny, Fish-Face!" Hidan snarled back, pouncing on the giant blue furball.

"Cut it out you two!" Pein snapped.

Mel and I had just finished giggling and were watching the big blue cat and Pussy fighting, until the orange one hissed and they both stopped immediately.

"Weird, it's like that ginger one's their leader," I muttered.

"Yeah. Anyway, let us finish naming!" Mel commanded.

I picked up the fuzzy blue one that Pussy scrapped with. He didn't do much, just looked at me curiously until an evil grin spread across my face.

Then he looked at me like I'd just grown an extra head.

"I've got one." I said. "Jaws!"

"Why?" Mel asked, a look of confusion on her pale face. Jaws meanwhile, just looked pissed off.

"Ugh, I swear you're secretly blonde sometimes." I sighed. I turned the giant kitten around to face her. "Doesn't he remind you of Kisame from Naruto?"

All of the cats stiffened and looked straight at me.

"Kisame, do you know these two?" Pein asked in his monotone voice.

"No, Leader-sama. I've never seen them in my life!" he replied, looking worried.

"Then how the fuck does she know your name?" Hidan demanded.

"How am I supposed to know?" Kisame yelled.

"Perhaps if we listen to their conversations, we might find the answer." Itachi suggested.

"Oh yeah, he kinda does! How did you get Jaws from that though?" Mel asked.

I smacked my forehead in frustration. "Because Kisame is a giant shark man! Are you blind, or just stupid?"

Personally I think it's both.

"Don't be mean, it's not my fault I'm not some crazy Akatsuki fangirl like you." Mel pouted.

"Can you blame me? It's an organisation full of hot guys and my favourite fictional female ever." I said. "You'd have to be mad not to love them!"

"Wait a minute, did she just say Akatsuki, hmm?" Deidara said.

"I think she did, brat." Sasori replied, looking slightly more interested.

"Never mind that, she called me Jaws!" Kisame moaned as he was put down. "Little bitch, if she knows us like she says, surely she knows I hate being teased about my appearance!"

"Quit moaning Jaws. I don't think it can get any worse than Pussy." Hidan grumbled.

"You never know, let's see what the next victim gets called." Black Zetsu said.

I watched on with amusement at the kittens' faces when Mel picked up her latest target, the ginger one. He had black spots all over his body, and purple eyes.

This one was my favourite so far, us gingers gotta stick together, right?

"I can't think of a name for that one." I said, looking at my tiny twin.

"Me neither. Ooh! What about Dave?" she grinned.

When I was 11, I had a dog called Dave. It's a dumb name, I know, but at the same time it's fucking awesome.

I was so proud when people would ask me what my dog's name was. The looks and comments I would get when I told them were hilarious.

He's this tiny little pug, and he actually still lives with my mum now. She loves his name as much as she loves him.

"Sure, why not?" I laughed. "Only gingers and pugs are epic enough for that name."

"What kind of a fucking name is Dave?" Hidan said. "Can't those stupid bitches come up with any normal names?"

"Right, how many left now?" I asked.

"Uh, six. Five guys, one girl." I almost facepalmed when Mel had to count them all on her fingers.

She's lucky I love her, or I probably would have killed her for being such a dumbass by now.

"Okay, well let's name the girl first. She's too adorable to be left until last." I said, grabbing the blue haired female. I stared into her amber eyes and absently stroked her, trying to think of a name.

Looking into her eyes, I swear I saw understanding in them, like she knew what we were saying.

I quickly ignored that thought, as I sometimes got that feeling looking at Melissa, but I soon realised that I had to be either extremely hopeful or just insane to think that about her; I mean nobody could act that stupid and be clever. Except Tobi...

Whatever.

"What about Tenshi?" I suggested. I thought it was a sweet name, and she had to be the cutest kitten I'd seen so far, so she didn't deserve anything less.

"Why?" My black haired idiot asked.

"It means 'angel' in Japanese." I explained. "And this cat seriously reminds me of Konan, and the people of Ame call her 'God's Angel' because of those badass paper wings she's got."

The kitten blinked in surprise.

"That makes sense." I knew she had no idea really, she was nodding her head slowly with a blank expression and was only acting like she knew. Idiot.

She was about to decide who her next torture victim would be, but was interrupted by the doorbell.

"I'LL GET IT!" she screamed, jumping up and scurrying to the door.

"What the fuck Mel! There's no need to fucking yell, I'm right next to you, asshole!" I shouted while covering my now hurting ears.

I kinda felt sorry for the cats then, because if I had only got an earache from her squeal, they must have almost died with their sensitive ears.

"Oh hey Matt, come in! We've got some new friends!" she giggled from the hallway.

I picked up the nearest kitten and put him on my stomach and gently stroked his head and down his back. He had the softest, pure black fur that I had ever felt, and when he looked up at me, he shocked me with his bright crimson eyes.

The weird thing about them though was the little black dots around the edge. They really reminded me of the Sharingan for some reason. I guess I am a bit too obsessed with Naruto.

At first he looked a bit alarmed, but soon calmed down when I started petting him. He laid down on me when he was sure that I wouldn't eat him or something, but kept his eyes locked on to mine until Mel skipped into the room, dragging a windswept Matt behind her.

"'Sup Matt." I smiled.

"Hey Kate. What's with all the furballs?" he asked, as he almost tripped over Pussy.

"I found them in that box on her lawn about 20 minutes ago." Mel flopped onto a beanbag opposite me and patted the chair next to her. "Come and sit, boy."

"Cool. Got any names for them yet?" he yawned.

"We've named five so far, five to go." I said, still stroking the red-eyed kitty. "Wanna help?"

"Sure, what one?"

"Umm... The one that Katie's got on her belly." Mel said, pointing.

"Kala." he said immediately. When we gave him weird looks for not talking English, he explained. "It means 'dark' in Hindi."

"Since when could you speak Hindi?" I laughed.

"I can't really, i just know the odd few words from my aunt, she's from India." he flicked his blonde fringe out of his eyes with one hand, and plucked the one with the red fur off of an abandoned cushion with the other.

"Okay then, Kala it is." I looked back at the cat and noticed he was still staring at me. It began to creep me out, so I put him down, where he walked off towards Jaws.

"Can I name another one?" he asked.

"Go for it, I think me and Mel are almost out of ideas anyway." Matt leaned down and seized the black and white cat by the scruff of his neck.

He glared straight at him with his gold eyes.

"If he gives us a shitty name like you guys, I'm going to eat him as soon as we get our body back." Black Zetsu growled.

"Well if you've got no names, you won't mind if I call him Zetsu, will you?" he grinned and the cat suddenly stopped growling and just stared.

"Oh no, we are not naming these adorable kitties after some Akatsuki guy." Mel laughed.

"Yeah, let's call him Zetsu." I decided.

"But I just said no!" Mel pouted.

"It's my choice. They appeared on my lawn, and so they are mine. So I'm saying that Zetsu is awesome so I've got no problem with that name." I stuck my tongue out at her when she tried to answer back. "Don't even argue, you know I'm right."

She sighed. "Alright, alright. Only this one though."

"Okay. It's your turn to name anyway, so choose one."

I sat back into the sofa and watched her try and catch the red cat, who was doing a good job of avoiding her.

"HA! Gotcha!" Mel yelled once she'd snatched it up.

Heh. That kinda rhymes...

"Don't you hiss at me, mister!" she scolded. "Anyway, a name for you. Hmm... I know! Tim!"

"Tim?" Matt and I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep. You know, like Tiny Tim!" she giggled. The kitten hissed a bit more before getting launched back into the group.

"These people are truly sadistic." Sasori grumbled as he picked himself up off the carpet.

"Not really, we got a normal name. Probably because we're better than the rest of you suckers." Zetsu snickered.

"You're no better than us, Zetsu, yeah. I bet- Oh shit."

Mel lifted up the blonde kitten and plopped him on my stomach. I almost laughed at his expression, he looked terrified and annoyed at the same time, which is fucking hilarious on a cat, trust me.

"How fucking yellow is this kitten?" I snorted. He narrowed his eyes at me and dug a claw into my t-shirt. "Ow! You little fucker, how dare you!"

I threw him off me and was about to hit him with a pillow before Matt stopped me.

"Come on, don't hurt him, he's just a kitten!" he said. "Get your revenge on his name."

"Good idea. Well then, your new name is Fluffy." I grinned.

I got his name thanks to the random tuft of fur covering his left eye. Seeing as the kitty was a guy, I thought that he'd be a bit pissed off with a name so girly. If cats could talk, he would be getting seriously bullied by the rest of the group forever.

"FLUFFY? What the fuck, un!" Deidara growled. The others all burst out into a chorus of kitten laughter, except for Tobi, who ran over and glomped Deidara.

"Don't worry, Tobi likes your name Deidara-senpai!" Tobi said.

"Get off me, you idiot, hmm!"

"Finally, the last one!" I sighed. It was fun to name our new pets at first, but now it was just goddamn tiring. It had taken us about half an hour, and I was really bored. "I've got a name for him."

I picked up the last kitten. He was the second largest, just behind Jaws. He had brown fur with little black stripes all over that kinda looked like stitches, and bright green pupil-less eyes. The stripes were what gave me the idea for his name.

"Frank, short for Frankenstein." Mel giggled and Matt just smirked. "He's got all these weird stitch things, so he reminded me of when we had to read the book for that English assignment once."

"Oh yeah! I hated that book." Mel said.

"Same. I think everyone did. I swear our English teacher only gave us it as torture." I agreed. "Anyway, since we've got ten adorable fluffballs in my house, let's take advantage of them."

"EW! Katie's a kitty pedophile!" Mel giggled.

"So what?" I said with a completely straight face.

"Wait- Ugh! What the hell Katie, that's so gross!" she gawked.

"You really need to learn what sarcasm is, Mel." I laughed. "You're so stupid sometimes. I meant take advantage of them while they're here, like play with them or just piss them off. We've got nothing better to do."

Matt nodded at my suggestion.

"Phew! You really scared me for a minute! But okay, let's annoy the shit out of them!" she grinned evilly, then looked straight towards Pussy.

"Fuck." Hidan whispered.

A/N: Starts off pretty good, gets crappy towards the end. I rushed the end and left out loads of details to cut down the size, sorry.

Next chapter, Katie's birthday! :D

Thought I'd reply to the reviews now. Thanks for all the positive praise and stuff, and to Suki77, I agree about it being funny, I almost died laughing imagining Hidan's face when he got called Pussy. daydreamer1008, I'm glad someone understands! Most of my friends who read this and CYK didn't get the awesomeness that is the Akatsuki Kitties, and I thought I was alone, lol

Also, I'm going to add a random fact about either one of my characters or just something stupid at the end of each chapter now.

Random Fact #1: Katie is based on me, Melissa is based on my only real life friend who understands the epicness of anime, and Matt is based on a guy I met on Skype. They all share our birthdays (not ages) and appearances, except for Matt.

FINALLY, I would like to say I have a deviantART account now. I'm purpleneko98, so just look me up. I'm putting up my Naruto and other random anime drawings.

Keep up the reviews, and I'll see you soon! *waves*