"Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Look at what I won. A bottle of Japanase scotch. Do you know how drunk I'm going to get tonight? My hands already need a sobriety test."
Hawkeye gleefully showed the bottle of alcohol to his roommate B.J. It had taken some smooth talking and fast playing, but he had won himself quite the deal in last night's round of poker. A visiting colonel had offered the tonic as collateral, and Hawkeye had gladly accepted. It would be a nice chance of pace from his beloved lighter-fluid martini that his liver had grown ever so used to.
"I know, I know, I was there, remember I'd like to forget about it if you don't mind. Peg's going to kill me.?" B.J. moaned, sore after losing a hundred bucks. He was going to have a hard time explaining that to Peg.
"And that stuff could kill you if you're not careful. There have been rumors about bad batches. Maybe you shouldn't take any chances…."
"Nonsense. I'll be just fine, but thanks for your concern, Mom. You'll be seeing the results of this firsthand. But nothing says I have to hold off on the other good stuff." Hawkeye said as he set his bottle down. He walked over and poured himself a martini.
"Now that I'm up for."
"Good, I'd hate to think you were a complete spoilsport."
00000000
"Sir," a hirsute man wearing a black mourning dress approached the colonel's' desk holding a letter an envelope. Klinger was always dressed in a woman's getup, and this wasn't the first occasion he'd been spotted in mourning ware. The native Ohioian was desperate to get out of the army and would stop at nothing to get the attention of his commanding officer. Today was to be no exception.
"Son, what is it? I'm awfully busy filling out form out to my neck. And black is your color but I really don't think I should be listening to what you're about to say." Colonel Potter said as he shuffled some papers around on his desk.
"You might feel differently after you hear this letter! 'Dear Max. I hope this letter finds you doing well. You must certainly be doing better than the rest of the family, even though that is hard to imagine. I'm so sorry to tell you this but your father has taken a turn for the worst. He is ill and is no longer able to provide for the family. I just don't know how we're going to make it now that he's bedridden. Your high school friend Abdul came home on a hardship discharge because his father was no longer able to care for the family. Do you suppose you can arrange it with your commanding officer to return home, as you are so desperately need….'"
Colonel Potter put his hand in the air. "Hold it right there, mister. Do you mean to tell me that your father…your previously deceased father…has taken ill and you are to be discharged from the army?"
Klinger nodded. "If that's your decision, sir. I wouldn't want to argue with you."
"You wouldn't want to argue with me but you'd want to waste my time with this half-baked, hare brained scheme of yours! Why, you ought to be ashamed of yourself! As it is I'm ashamed enough for the both of us. Now get out of here before I kick you out. Understand?"
"You'll be sorry for this! I'm leaving this army one way or the other. This is the last day you or anyone else will hear of Maxwell Q. Klinger. I've had enough of this drag. It's inhumane keeping me in here. I'm serious. As of today there will be no more Max Klinger!" He raised his fist in the air for effect.
Colonel Potter grabbed Klinger's fist and led him out into the hallway, slamming the door shut behind him.
"Unbelievable." Potter could be heard muttering as he returned to his piles of paperwork.
000000000
"Oh Frank, Don't stop." Margaret called out as her lover kissed her neck. They were lying down in the grass in a secluded area where no one could see them, enjoying a picnic lunch. Frank had picked some flowers for her.
"Oh my darling, how I miss you already. And I haven't even left yet." He giggled.
"Why did you have to ask for leave? You know I can't bear the thought of us being apart."
"But Margaret…Tokyo's very nice. They have restaurants and hotels and bars. You should go there. You'd like it very much. It reminds me of you. A lot of splash and action. Bold and brave.."
"I've been there. But you're right. I should go there." She pulled away. "Oh Frank! I should talk to Colonel Potter! I bet I could arrange a pass to go there too. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Just the two of us, away from camp? No one to spy on us… how romantic. I'm sure I can get him to agree. He'll never know why I want to go. Just trust me. I can handle myself."
"But darling, don't you think it's a bit…risky?"
"No, it's perfect! No one will think twice of it. I'll make sure of it. And we'll have the whole weekend to ourselves. Now let's get back so I can talk to him." She said, pulling herself to her feet.
Frank knew better than to argue. Once Margaret Houlihan put her mind to something, she got her way, as Colonel Potter would soon find out.
00000000
One of my surgeons and my chief nurse taking a long weekend. I thought that Margaret would never shut up about it. I can't say that I blame her. She works hard and doesn't ask for much. But I can blame Klinger for his crazy stunt that he pulled. I hope he doesn't go and do something crazy. What in the world goes through that boy's mind? It makes me wonder at times how Henry Blake put up with him. I'd like to have met that man. From what I hear he was a real good surgeon and a top class fellow. Sometimes I wonder if I should bring him up to Hawkeye. It might do him some good to talk about him.
000000000
Meanwhile Henry was watching all of this with a bit of anxiety. As much as he liked Sherman, (even though he was a bit by the book) he wished that he had handled everything differently. Klinger definitely needed to be stopped. Lord knows it was hard to take that man seriously, but in this case someone should step in. One could only hope that someone would find Klinger before it was too late. And sending Margaret with Frank was a recipe for disaster in any case, but now it was a deadly one. And Hawkeye was good at giving advice but not taking it, should definitely take heed at B.J.'s warning. But how could he, Henry, intervene? That was not possible, or was it?