JUST A KID

After Splinter's mysterious disappearance, the turtles were more tan worried. Leo was in charge for now but he felt that his work as head of the family wasn't good enough, especially because of certain hotheaded brother who was dealing things by his own, letting all his repressed feelings and anger on his punching bag.

He had tried to talk with him, to be reasonable with him, he tried to understand him but Raph had closed himself in his own shell. And there he was, in the dojo again; sweat rolling down his forehead and arms and soaking his red bandanna.

Though his brothers had left him alone to not make things worse, the youngest of the family still believed he could help him somehow.

"Hey Raph!" Mikey yelled from the kitchen, Raph didn't pay attention. The orange masked ninja decided to confront his brother personally and went into the dojo.

"Raph, c'mon! Supper's ready"

"I ain't hungry" Raph said giving another punch to his punching bag.

"Aw, c'mon! It's Sloppy Joe night! Extra slop, of course" Mikey cheerfully.

"I said I ain't hungry!" Raph replied making Mikey's smile to fall down.

"You didn't eat anything yesterday either"

Raph started to punch the bag again without paying attention to his brother. Then Mikey decided that a little of his fun-loving spirit could help Raph a little.

"What's the matter? My cooking not good enough for ya?" Mikey teased Raph tugging at his bandanna's tails.

"Mikey, will ya fuck off already?" Raph said angrily as he free his bandanna from Mikey's grip.

"Jeez Raph! What the shell is your problem?" Mikey replied.

"I ain't hungry, so just quit buggin' me! I'm busy!" Raph said harshly.

"Alright, alright. Sheesh! Bite my head off for worrying about you!" Mikey said crossing arms.

When he was about to leave the dojo, Raph talked again feeling a little guilty.

"Just… leave me somethin' in the fridge for later" Raph said trying to calm down.

"It'll be cold" with this comment, Raph exploded again.

"Look! I just ain't up for eatin' anything, alright? I'm so uptight if I eat anything right now I'm gonna puke! So just..." Raph yelled but started to cool down again.

"…sigh*… just… save me some for later" Raph ended the phrase sighing heavily.

Mikey understood his brother's feelings. He was hiding his fear and worries about Splinter like all of them had been doing since their sensei disappeared.

"We're all scared, Raphie" Mikey said softly. That was enough for the red masked ninja; Raph let out all what he thought, all his repressed emotions.

"I AIN'T SCARED! I'm pissed as hell! None o f this shoulda happen! If it weren't for the dammed Shredder and everythin' goin' to hell, and Master Splinter bein' so damn NOBLE and takin' a hit for YOU, none of this woulda happened and he wouldn't be out somewhere hurt or dying or, God forbid, DEAD!" he yelled. Once he was done, Raph sighed heavily and looked again at Mikey…

"…*sigh*… look, I…" … just to see he had hurt him in the most terrible way. The orange masked turtle stood there, staring at him with glassy wide opened eyes and shivering a little.

"Oh shit! Mikey no! I didn't mean it like that!" Raph tried to apologize but the damage was done already.

"…yes, you did" Mikey said almost whispering.

"Mikey…" Raph tried to apologize again but Mikey left the dojo running and crying softly.

"Mikey!" Raph yelled again. Mikey was now upstairs, his face buried in his pillow being soaked with his tears. Raph had told him the truth; when he was angry he always told them the truth they liked it or not. Splinter was gone… and now Mikey blamed himself.

"NNNARGGGNN!" Raph growled in anger and placed his eyes in the punching bag.

"STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!" he yelled as he kicked and punched the bag fiercely.

When he felt the lack of air on his lungs, he stopped letting his forehead rest in the punching bag. He knew he had hurt Mikey… and badly. Raph knew it wasn't his brother's fault but the anger and rage he had inside had blinded him and made him hurt his baby brother. He loved Mikey even though he never told him. He didn't want to say that, he didn't mean to say that to him. Raph knew how sensible Mikey was, especially now that their Master and father was gone. He hated The Shredder and the Foot even more.

The red masked ninja panted against the punching bag trying to recover his strength; he felt all his feelings and emotions… haunting him, wanting to crush him down. How could he have done such a thing! Mikey was just a kid. Why he said that to him!

A single tear left his eye rolling down his cheek.

"…stupid" Raph muttered.