Deeks's was in shock when he heard Kenis's words. It's Jack and she didn't want him to shoot. Was she crazy, the man, whoever he was, was threatening Kensi's life. He would do anything to save her.
Just seeing her again had him in all sorts of bother. Callen's words came to mind, Focus Deeks and he shook his head mentally to gather his thoughts. Deeks wanted to run to her, to hold her in his arms. It had been 4 months since he had seen her and she was a vision to his eyes. She looked slightly thinner and the desert climate had not been kind but to him there was no more beautiful a site before him. Her hands were tied behind her back and she stumbled as the man dragged her into the middle of the room. The most overpowering thing though was her eyes pleading with him.
"So this is the one who has replaced me in your life," came a nasty drawl from the man Kensi had indicated as Jack. "Deeks is it? Of course I have heard all about you. My sources did well."
Deeks was still floundering, not understanding what was happening before his eyes. He knew about him? How was that possible, he thought. Then he remembered Hetty telling them there had been a mole. In the distance he could hear gunfire echoing through the cave but his eyes were trained only on the pair before him, his gun aimed at the man Kensi called Jack.
Jack was tall like Deeks was, but that was where the similarities between them ended. Jack was dark haired and had a dark tan. Almost black eyes scanned Deeks menacingly. His dark hair was cut short, and even in this uncivilised lifestyle in a cave in the middle of nowhere, Jack was clean shaven. He looked like he should have been wearing a suit, not desert attire.
"Deeks, please, don't shoot." Kensi repeated softly to him, begging him to leave Jack alone.
"Kensi, what are you saying? He is holding you at gunpoint."
"Deeks its Jack," Kensi said as if it explained everything. Truth be told, because it was Jack made Deeks want to shoot him even more, not less. His finger on the trigger itched to shoot. He was the man responsible for so many of the walls Kensi had so carefully and skilfully built up around herself, making all relationships so difficult for her.
"I know who you said it was, but he is the man we've been hunting." He looked questioningly at Kensi catching her eye but the silent communication they were so good at was missing. He couldn't read her thoughts for once.
"You've been hunting a long time, haven't you?" Jack sneered.
Deeks let out an ironic laugh and cocked his head to one side. "Me? Not so much, but yeah, I guess they have." Deeks indicated in the direction of the gunfire still echoing through the caves.
"So Kensi," Jack said roughly into her ear and Deeks saw her flinch, making his blood boil. How dare he treat her like that. "You didn't answer me. Is this my replacement?"
Deeks could see Kensi was shaken, clearly Jack was not a pleasant captor yet still she wanted him to stay alive. "That would be me," Deeks answered for her.
"Kensi, Kensi, Kensi, Couldn't you have done better than this shaggy haired beach bum. What would your dad have said? He would have been awfully disappointed," Jack taunted. Kensi gave no response to the words physically or verbally.
Anger flared in Deeks. He waited for Kensi to defend him in some way but it never came. All she could say was a weak "Please, don't shoot him Deeks." His heart plummeted again.
Deeks blinked and shook his head, the movement giving Jack a moment to catch Deeks off guard, He threw Kensi to the side and charged at Deeks. Deeks dropped his gun in the sudden impact and the two men were locked in a battle. Trying to reach for his gun was out of the question as Jack punched his fist into Deeks's face repeatedly before Deeks had the chance to defend himself. He returned the punches knocking Jack back but he recovered and returned to Deeks throwing more punches and kicks his way. The man was a skilled fighter.
Deeks held his own and on numerous occasions he was close to reaching his gun. Then he remembered Kensi's knife. Without drawing attention to what he was doing Deeks reached into the pocket in the leg of his pants to get the knife. As his fingers curled around the knife's handle another punch hit him square in the jaw and he spun around as pain seared through him. His jaw still gave him grief even after all the time had passed since Sidarov had tortured him.
Deeks lashed out with the knife, cutting Jack across the shoulder making him stumble back, his green shirt instantly soaking in his blood.
"You're going to pay for that blondie," Jack sneered and reached out to roughly take Kensi in his arm again. In his pocket he reached for another gun and held it to Kensi's head. "You can watch her die for doing that to me."
"Nooooooooooooo," Deeks screamed. He took aim and threw the knife in Jack and Kensi's direction, hitting Jack in the hand in a perfectly directed shot, missing Kensi by inches. The hit was enough to distract Jack for a moment giving Deeks the time to retrieve his gun and in one swift movement he aimed and took a shot at Jack's head as Kensi cried out, "NO DEEKS!"
Jack fell to the ground, instantly dead. Kensi's eyes widened in horror and Deeks raced over to hold her in his arms.
"Don't!" she screamed, moving away from him. "Cut me loose."
Deeks cut her loose expecting her to jump into his arms but she crouched down and took Jack into her arms, oblivious to the blood beginning to soak onto her clothes.
"I'm sorry Jack. I'm so sorry." She cried out as she began rocking Jack back and forth in her arms oblivious to anything else. Tears were beginning to drop from her watery eyes and run down her dusty cheek. She swiped at them and the mixture of desert dust and tears stained her face.
"Kensi," Deeks whispered, his forehead creased into a frown of confusion.
She looked up at him and the venom in her eyes stunned Deeks, making him stumble back a few steps. He shook his head as if to clear it. Maybe once it was cleared this would all make sense. He was tired after all.
"You killed him. You killed Jack. He was coming around, I was talking him into giving himself up." She accused.
"He was going to kill you Kensi." Deeks screeched. He didn't even recognise his own voice. "There's no doubt he was going to kill you. I wasn't going to let him do that. Of course I killed him."
"He wouldn't have," she cried, looking down at his body. "I know he wouldn't have. If he wanted to kill me he would have long before now."
"He was trying to kill me. Doesn't that matter?" Deeks said almost in a whisper now. He felt defeated, like there was nothing he could do to fix this. He tried to comfort her but she shrugged him away.
Kensi didn't answer him and he felt his soul shattering into a million pieces. He walked to the other side of the cave and collapsed to the floor leaning against the cave wall, wrapping his arms around his knees, his gun still in his hand. He closed his eyes and his head dropped to his knees as he felt what he suspected was his heart breaking, He always thought something on the job might come between them but he never thought it would be this.
He never thought it would hurt so much.
He lifted his eyes to see Kensi still holding Jack's body, tears running down her cheeks. It was all it took for Deeks to break. He was exhausted and he had missed Kensi more than anything yet the sight of her cradling another mans body felt like the end of him. He closed his eyes to try and block everything out. That was how Callen and Sam found them.
They came bursting into the small room of the cave where they had heard the gunshot coming from. The sight that greeted them was hardly what they had expected to find, with Deeks crouched down in one corner and Kensi in the other holding on to a man with tears streaming down her face. Callen looked at the two of them and then at Sam. He nodded at Sam to take care of Deeks, and he went to Kensi.
"Deeks." Sam said quietly. "Deeks," a little firmer. Deeks looked up at Sam, a confused look in his eyes. "What happened?"
"I killed… I killed him. And…." He didn't know what to say. It should have been mission accomplished but it wasn't.
"Focus Deeks." It seemed to be everyone's mantra tonight.
Deeks frowned. As hurt as he felt, his job was not over. He picked himself up and looked at Sam. "It's the White Ghost. He had Kensi hostage. We fought, I shot him, simple."
"It doesn't look like it was all that simple."
"He was going to shoot her. I had no option," Deeks told him. It was like he was trying to rationalise what he had done.
"Hey, you don't have to explain that to me. You did the right thing," Sam told him. "The mission was to rescue Kensi AND kill White Ghost."
Deeks nodded his thanks. The words wouldn't come out and he closed his eyes shut tight to try and escape the feelings rushing through him. All he wanted was to take Kensi into his arms and hold her tight, kiss her and tell her everything would be alright. He wanted to feel her in his arms, touch her, smooth back her hair, wipe away her tears and celebrate every single caress he gave her. She was his world and after all the time he had spent apart, he was now aching for her.
"Why aren't you with Kensi," Sam asked softly, clearly confused.
Deeks pressed his lips together and shook his head in confusion. "She doesn't want me there."
"What?" Now Sam was shaking his head.
"She told me not to shoot him."
"Like you had a choice."
"I didn't." He looked at Sam again and without warning anger suddenly surged within him, "Damn it. I saved her life. Doesn't matter that it was Jack. He was going to kill her. Does she think for a second I was going to let him do that?"
Sam pulled Deeks in for a hug and Deeks dropped his head onto his shoulder. Sam could feel him shaking and he wasn't sure if it was simply the adrenaline rush he would now be feeling or if he was actually crying. He knew how much Kensi meant to him and for her to reject him like this had to hurt. "Give her some time. This has been traumatic for her too, you know."
Slowly Deeks straightened up and shook his head. "I've gotta get out of here." His head was moving around, taking in all his surroundings. He looked up to try and stop the tears he felt forming in his eyes without much success.
He turned to walk out only to walk over to where Kensi's knife lay on the ground. Picking it up he looked down at it, covered in blood, knowing the item had probably saved both their lives. He looked at her held in Callen's arms. He felt as if the knife he was holding was sliding straight into his own heart as he watched her. It should have been him holding her, comforting her. He was the one who loved her. Why was she doing this to him? He slid the knife back into his pocket.
He couldn't take the rejection for another moment and walked out of the cave hoping he was walking down the right tunnel as he left, but not really caring if he got lost in the caves forever. Kensi was with Callen and Sam, she was safe. He wanted it to be him that she was with but she didn't want him. The knife in his gut twisted a little more with every step he took away from her. Would they ever be able to get through this? He honestly didn't know anymore.