A/N Second chapter yeah! So ten days that's a new record. I'll stop rambling now and let ya-all read, but first...

Disclaimer: "I do not own Hetalia Axis Powers" Done! does that satisfy ye lawyers that prbly aren't going to read this. Onto the story.

He sighed, throwing his head back. He was leaving, Matthew was finally leaving. He had known this day was coming, hadn't he spent the last month or so dealing with the embassies to grant his friend the ability to leave the country and go home. That's when it finally hit him.

His friend was leaving. He was leaving. And he would probably never see him again.

Matthew was probably the only reason he hadn't died and stayed sane, or at least relatively so. The only person who had kept him from going off the deep end these last few months was leaving him all alone in this cruel cold world. "No!" A strangled cry escaped his lips. Quiet and pitiful, yet at the same time ferocious and wild, threatening any who dared cross it. The other man in the room turned and looked at him. Blond hair swinging gently as his head turned. Violet eyes locked with bloody crimson ones and the message that passed between the two was clear to both parties.

"I'm sorry. God Gil I'm so sorry." He truly did sound sorry, Gilbert had to agree, but none the less what was done was done.

"It's not your fault." He said that and he knew it was true, but they both knew that in his heart he didn't quite believe the other wasn't at fault. Gilbert had to concede however that there was nothing wrong with Matthew wanting to go home. He was just jealous, a jealousy that seeped through his veins like poison eating away at him and his brain's rational thinking.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair! Alright there, he had said it. It wasn't fair that Matthew got to go home and see his family when he couldn't. When he was trapped in this Gott damned prison. He couldn't leave. He couldn't see his family. He couldn't see his friends. And now his only friend was leaving and getting all the things he had been denied.

He didn't know what had possessed him to say it. It had just come out. "Gott Birdie go. Just go!" And with that Matthew had bounded out of his apartment. Blond hair flying behind him, bag slung over one shoulder, feet pounding against the wooden floor. It was only after the cold draft from the door being slammed that Gilbert realized what had happened, and what he had done. He grabbed the half empty bottle of beer in front of him and chugged the remaining liquid, letting the alcohol seep into his system and make his brain go fuzzy. It was better to forget, he reasoned, then it was to dwell on things right now.

The smell that wafted into his room was a nice one to wake up to. Warm, homey and sweet. It reminded him of the cakes that his mother used to bake as a treat. Freshly warm right out of the oven, perfectly fluffy, so delectable that he could eat an endless amount. Groggily he rolled out of bed, throwing on a pair of jeans and an worn out shirt after remembering that he had a guest.

He recoiled at the sight that met him as he stepped out his door. Matthew stood in front of the stove, pan in hand, carefully flipping... Were those pancakes? His eyes light up at the thought. A glance at the clock would have told that it was around ten in the morning. But he had no reason to know the time, and he was too lazy to look at a clock anyway. Wait a second why was Matthew cooking anyway, not that it was unwelcome, but still.

The other seemed to have noticed his presence for he spun around frying pan in hand to face him. "Oh hi. I woke up before you so I thought I should make breakfast. I hope you don't mind that I went through your pantry to find the necessary ingredients." He hadn't noticed this that much yesterday but Matthew was rather shy.

"No, no. It's alright, fine really." He responded light heartedly. A glance at the golden batter in the pan and his stomach growled in hunger. "Are those pancakes?" Not many knew this and those who did never really had a reason to broadcast it, but he loved pancakes. Not liked, loved as in absolutely adored them. A plate was set in front of him and he dug in with gusto, not willing to leave a single ounce leftover. The smile that had graced his face after eating the first batch was not one that could be easily removed. A"Thanks Birdie, these are awesome!" had been exclaimed. Which is odd because if either of them sounded like a bird it was the one who had cheerfully chirped out that last statement.

He could feel it pounding, his head he meant. Pounding and throbbing as was usually the after effect of getting plastered. The light streaming through the window did nothing to help only succeeding in making him wince more. He groaned staring around the room as the hazy fog of last night came back to him in gushing waves. Had he really said that? Was he really gone?

Gone... Gone... Gone...

That was all his mind could process at the moment. The flood gates that had been holding back his depression and cold feelings shattered, bringing way to the sadness, anger, and self hatred that had been building up within him. That feeling of helplessness that made him want to curl up into a ball and bawl, sending rivers down the sides of his face and soak his silvery hair with salty liquid. Perhaps it was fitting that meeting Matthew would prevent this and that his leaving would release it. He had always liked when the world was symmetric like that. It gave order to a place that had only ever know chaos. A place that had been born from chaos. For at its heart an explosion is nothing other than chaos. A large amount of chaos.

He couldn't take it anymore. Not the ultimate feeling of failure. Not the voice in his head that kept whispering to him how useless he was. He wanted to ignore them to tell them that they were wrong, but they were getting to him, convincing him that they were right.

As someone who appreciated the symmetry in things he was going to end this thing where it had started. At that place which he hated with all his will. The place he had avoided as much as possible because it hurt looking at it. Just one glance at it and it tore him apart. The place that stood for everything that he wanted nothing to do with. Ostdeutschland was just going to have to live on without him. But before he went he would try, try one more time to tear it down.

And that is how it came to be, fists pounding against the concrete as if it might just break if he stood there long enough. He whacked with all the energy he could muster until long after his hands were bloodied and raw. Finally sinking down to curl against it and wait. Wait for them to come. And for the first time in years tears flowed freely from his bloody eyes.

A/N Hope you all liked it. Hopefully if all goes well I shall have another chapter for ye soon. Although there are a few other things I am working on at the moment. I also happen to have midterms in two weeks. I really should start actually studying for those... Alas when I finnish editing the next chapter it shall go up, but that might not be for a little while. Cherio~ (Don't forget to leave a review)