Part II: Helplessness

The black Sedan was just where she had left it. He had been waiting for her all this time.

She couldn't get in. She just stood there, sobbing, getting soaked from head to toe.

Aaron instantly knew something was wrong. Hurriedly he got out of the driver's seat and walked around the car to take her in his arms.

They stood there, in the pouring rain; Martha's hat and coat dropped to the street that was flowing with water. Aaron caressed her hair and quietly whispered, "Sh, sh…" He didn't know what had happened inside the villa, but he knew it hadn't been good.

Her tears hurt him deep inside. Martha didn't deserve to go on suffering because of him; he had made her suffer enough in the past.

"Martha, we have to get you home and out of these clothes", Aaron said. He slowly led her to the car; she was still crying hard. When she was inside, he picked up her dripping clothes from the asphalt and looked at Charles's villa, still sitting there unimpressed. He briefly wondered what this man had done once again to make Martha this shattered version of herself.

He quickly got in the car. On top of everything else, she shouldn't catch a cold. He carefully put her hat and coat on the backseat.

Later, in the apartment, Martha came out of the bathroom, a towel around her head and dressed in Aaron's blue bathrobe. She kept her own in there, but still liked to borrow his.

She had taken a long, hot shower. Charles and his words had washed off, but only very slowly. She almost felt herself again.

Aaron was wearing his black jogging suit. She loved to see him in it. It was what he had been wearing when they first kissed, half a year ago – which seemed to be an eternity by now. In a way, her life had only begun then.

She sat next to him on the bed. For the longest time she had had reservations about this bed, about sleeping in it as long as she was still married. She was a Republican, after all.

Aaron put his arm around her shoulders. He knew better than to ask if she was alright, because she wasn't. But he would do anything to help her feel better. And that they both knew.

Aaron gave her a soft kiss on the forehead, and they stayed this close for a while. After all this time they had spent together, Martha still found it unbelievable how safe she felt around him. Sometimes, when she kept thinking about it, uncontrollable panic to lose this overcame her. She had learned not to think about it too much.

"Martha, do you want to tell me what happened?" Aaron asked after an endless moment of togetherness. Martha smiled, in spite of herself, about his wording. He was so thoughtful, and yet, when it came to expressing feelings, he sometimes was a bit clumsy.

"Yes, Aaron." She sighed. "It was horrible…" She felt his body stiffen next to her and she could just see, without looking, the frown on his face. She couldn't blame him. She had told him how Charles had treated her that day, in the airfield hangar.

"No, no, nothing like that", she said quickly, knowing what he was thinking. "He was just… Charles, you know?"

Aaron still frowned, the tension in his body didn't cease. "What do you mean? What did he do?" he asked, slightly breathless.

She didn't want to unsettle him, yet she had to tell him. "He didn't do anything… he was just his disgusting old self… and then he wasn't." She knew she was talking confusedly.

She cleared her throat. "To make a long story short, he said no. But not before getting all sentimental on me and asking me to forgive him." She didn't mention that she had become a little sentimental as well.

Aaron shook his head. "Forgive him…" he said, sounding disgusted at such shamelessness.

"Yes", Martha continued. "And then I asked him about the divorce." Aaron was listening intently. "So?"

"Well, he was thrown, to say the least. I… I…" Her voice didn't obey her. Aaron took her into his arms. "It's okay, it's okay."

She sighed, impatient with herself. "It's just… you know, seeing him again. Talking to him. I never expected him to jump to the idea of a divorce, but… I imagined, or I hoped, that it had at least crossed his mind. I mean it is… logical, isn't it?"

"Of course", Aaron said. "Listen, none of this is your fault. You know that."

Martha rubbed her eyes which seemed to have run out of tears by now.

"I know. I know." She said. "It's just so frustrating! I had hoped I could put all this behind me today. But I should have known… It's… Charles, dragging me back into it."

Aaron brushed her hair out of her face. She looked up at him, feeling that kind of dizziness she often felt when directly looking into his eyes.

"Martha", he said, searching for the right words. "I know it was terrible. But please, don't make it bigger than it is. You know… Charles didn't expect this. Give him some time, and he will realize that it is best for everyone."

Martha swallowed, and after a moment, nodded. Aaron was probably right, even though they couldn't take anything to do with Charles for granted.

Martha tried a little smile, her first since this afternoon. It still felt a little out of place. "Thank you", she whispered.

Aaron caressed the side of her face, they kissed. Martha had this strange little sensation in her stomach, like going down really fast in an elevator. She had loved it since they kissed for the first time, and inexplicably it still sometimes happened.

She softly touched the side of his face with her fingertips. There was such profound worry in his eyes; but there was something else, underneath, that she couldn't quite decipher.

"I'm… I'll be okay", she said, even though she wasn't entirely sure she would. "I just felt so helpless, like I didn't have any control…" "I know", Aaron answered, and that was all there was to say.

Martha inhaled deeply and collected herself. "I'll… just go dry my hair", she said and lightly kissed him again, before disappearing into the bathroom.

Looking at her as she closed the door, leaving it slightly ajar, Aaron couldn't help wondering. How was it possible that Charles Logan still had so much power over her? Aaron worried for her; and he suffered with her. But mixed with that, there was also that little streak of jealousy.

When Martha returned, wearing her white silk nightgown, Aaron was already half asleep. She got into bed as quietly as possible and positioned herself in his arms, those arms that seemed to be there whenever she needed them. "Good night", she whispered.

"G´night", he replied, barely audible.

As she lay there, trying to fall asleep, she had to think of the movie "Love Story" for some reason. And she was wondering what Charles was doing now.

End of Part II.