Act 1 – Scene 1
// The scene opens as it pans through icy mountainscape and finally
zooming through the clouds it focuses on a rolling green meadow in
Rukongai. There are small flowers growing as Rukia is strolling
around spinning in that copyrighted fashion. The air is clean and the
sky is technicolour blue. She is wearing a light blue shift and a
wide brimmed straw hat. Rukia starts singing her version of the song
The Sound Of Music //
--( Rukia )--
Sei-rei-tei is alive with the sound of music
With songs Shingami sing for a thousand years
Sei-rei-tei fills my heart with the sound of music
My heart wants to sing every song it hears
X x X x X
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds
that rise from the lake to the trees
My heart wants to sigh like a chime that flies
from a Seireitei breeze
To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls over
stones on its way
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray
X x X x X
I go to Seireitei when my heart is lonely
I know I will hear what I've heard before
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music
And I'll sing once more
X x X x X
// The sound of loud war gongs ring in the background and Rukia looks around panic stricken. Turning towards the decline of the hill, she runs off. Her hat falls off and a second later she shunpo's and picks it up. //
Rukia:Damn hat! (Turning back she shunpo's off )
Act 1 – Scene 2
// The landscape fades away and appears inside a large Japanese styled training dojo. The fighters are all clad only in their Hakama's and wielding swords, beating each other up. At the head of the Dojo sits three masters dressed in Shinigami Uniforms and the central figure, Grandmaster Byakuya is wearing a captains uniform. The other two sitting crosslegged beside him are Master Kenpachi and Master Jyuushiro, also in Shinigami captain uniforms. //
All students:Kiai! Ha! Kia! Hiah! (General sounds of people sparring)
// After watching at length, the three masters get up and leave the room, nodding to Instructor Choutarou to continue. As they reach outside and walk down the hall, a messenger Shinigami flashes and lands before them. //
Messenger Bernice:Grandmaster Byakuya.
Grandmaster Byakuya:Messenger Bernice.
Messenger Bernice:I simply cannot find her, Byakuya-sama.
Master Jyuushiro:Rukia? (Messenger Bernice nodds)
Master Kenpachi:Told ya we shoulda put a cowbell on her neck! Not that namby pamby anklet bell she wears!
Master Jyuushiro:Have you tried the rabbit hutches. You know how much she adores the bunnies.
Messenger Bernice:I have looked everywhere. In all of the usual places-
Grandmaster Byakuya:Messenger boy, considering it is Rukia….
I suggest you look in someplace unusual.
Messenger Bernice:Yes Byakuya-sama. (Messenger Bernice nods and flashes away. The group continue strolling into the main courtyard.)
// The main courtyard is an open space paved with stone. Surrounded by various buildings on all sides and at one end has a set of stairs leading to the next level of one of the buildings. Even the banisters are stone. A central circle of stone surrounds a lone water pump, a small bucket resting on the stone ledge surrounding the pump sink hole. At the foot of the stairs a group of Shinigami are sitting down chatting. //
Master Kenpachi:Well Granmaster Byakuya. I hope this new fiasco ends whatever doubts you have 'bout Rukia's future here.
Grandmaster Byakuya:Do not try my doubt. I have no doubt whatsoever.
Master Jyuushiro:After all, the wool of a black sheep is just as warm, Master Kenpachi.
Master Kenpachi:Shit! One stab with my Zanpaktou and the furry critter is dead. We're not talking 'bout sheep here, damn it! We're talking about warriors, Master Jyuushiro! Of all the candidates for Instructors here, Rukia is the least-
Grandmaster Byakuya:Master Kenpachi! Master Jyuushiro! Act like the Masters you are. ( The group of Shinigami's chatting at the foot of the stairs stand up. They consist of Acolyte Ikkaku, Acolyte Yumichiki, Acolyte Renji. Byakuya noticing them turns to them and asks for there opinion)
Grandmaster Byakuya:We were speculating about some of the potential candidacy of some of our potential Instructors. The Master of High Dans, (nodding towards Kenpachi) and the Master of Low Dans (nodding towards Jyuushiro) were trying to help me by expressing opposite points of view. Tell me, Acolyte Ikkaku, what do you think of Rukia?
Acolyte Ikkaku:She's alright… Some of the time.
Grandmaster Byakuya:Acolyte Yumichika.
Acolyte Yumichika:She's easy on the eyes… Except when she draws.
Grandmaster Byakuya:Acolyte Renji.
Acolyte Renji:Ah… I love her very dearly. But she always seems to get in trouble.
Master Kenpachi:That's exactly the shit I mean.
// Music starts playing in the background, as the characters say the next line in a singsong fashion. General choreography is slow and more in line with characters discussing Rukia. //
--( Master Kenpachi )--
She climbs a tree and talks to bees
She plays with teddy bears
--( Acolyte Ikkaku )--
She waltzes to the training hall and scribbles on the stairs
--( Master Kenpachi )--
She drawing bunnies all day long while sitting at her chair
--( Acolyte Yumichiki )--
I've even heard her singing in the Dojo!
--( Acolyte Ikkaku )--
She's always late for sparring
--( Acolyte Renji )--
But her dedication's real
--( Master Kenpachi )--
She's always late for everything
--( Acolyte Renji )--
Except for every meal
--( Master Kenpachi (Walks over to join the Acolytes) )--
How many times I've told ya I damn well feel
--( Master Kenpachi and Acolytes together )--
Rukia's not a good Shinigami!
--( Master Jyuushiro )--
I'd like to say a word on her behalf
--( Grandmaster Byakuya (speaking tone) )--
Then say it, Master Jyuushiro
--( Master Jyuushiro )--
Rukia's good for a laugh!
X x X x X
(( Song picks up to the tune of How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria))
--( Grandmaster Byakuya )--
How do you solve a problem like Rukia?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
--( Master Jyuushiro )--
How do find a word that describes Rukia
--( Acolyte Ikkaku and Acolyte Yumichika )--
How about bitch!
--( Acolyte Renji )--
How about witch!
--( Master Kenpachi (spoken) )--
How 'bout, A clown!
--( Grandmaster Byakuya (Walking up to stairs and circling group sining) )--
Many a thing I know that I've told her,
Many a thing I know she understands.
--( Master Kenpachi )--
Even if you told her now, she still acts like a cow.
--( Grandmaster Byakuya )--
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
--( Master Jyuushiro (Standing besides Byakuya by now) )--
How do you solve a problem like Rukia?
--( Grandmaster Byakuya )--
How do you hold a moonbeam….
…in your hand?
--( Acolyte Renji )--
When I'm with her I'm confused,
out of focus and bemused,
And my reiatsu always gets right out of hand
--( Acolyte Ikkaku )--
Her emotions are trampolining
--( Acolyte Yumichika )--
She's like a herd of bulls stampeding
--( Master Jyuushiro )--
She's a darling
--( Master Kenpachi )--
She's a demon
--( Master Jyuushiro )--
She's a lamb
--( Acolyte Renji )--
She bugs the hell outta me,
Drives me insane to my knees
--( Acolyte Yumichika )--
She can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
--( Master Jyuushiro )--
She is gentle, she is wild
--( Acolyte Renji )--
She kicked ass as a child!
--( Master Kenpachi )--
She's a headache
--( Master Jyuushiro )--
She's an ANGEL
--( Grandmaster Byakuya ( Raising his hands and sternly looking stopping the bickering ) )--
She's a Girl
--( All (forming one line) )--
How do you solve a problem like Rukia?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do find a word that describes Rukia?
--( Acolyte Ikkaku and Acolyte Yumichika )--
How about bitch!
--( Acolyte Renji )--
How about witch!
--( Master Kenpachi (spoken) )--
How 'bout, A clown!
--( All )--
Many a thing you'd know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought understand
--( Grandmaster Byakuya )--
But how do you make her stay
--( Master Kenpachi )--
And listen the hell, to what you say?
--( Master Jyuushiro )--
How do you keep the wave upon the sand?
--( All )--
How do solve a problem like Rukia?
--( Grandmaster Byakuya )--
How do you hold a moonbeam….
…in your hand?
// A loud thump of a door being slammed alerts them to someone's presence. Turning they see Rukia running into the courtyard. She stops at the water pump taking a drink. Another swig later she spits it out to rinse her hands and pours the rest from the small bucket over her hands before wiping her ace down. Passing them, she stops, backtracks and stares Byakuya with puppy dog eyes. //
Rukia:Grandmaster Byakuya-nii-sama ( She nods then runs off rolling her eyes)
--( All ( singing last line slower than normal ) )--
How do you hold a moonbeam…
…in your hand?
// Scene fades and ends. //
Act 1 - Scene 3
// Rukia stands by a large ornate sliding double doors, nervously. They slide open and Jyuushiro walks out. //
Master Jyuushiro:You may go in now Rukia. (He looks concerned and pats her shoulder reassuringly. Rukia enters the room.)
// It is a fairly large officious looking room. Paperwork is piled everywhere. A pair of Katana's rest on a stand in the far wall. Japanese Kanji Prints are on the walls. A few are Japanese prints depicting mountain scenery and even a seppuku ritual. Byakuya sits at a large oak chair behind a massive oak table. He signals for her to come in. //
Grandmaster Byakuya:Come in. Sit down.
Rukia:Grandmaster Byakuya-nii-sama, I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. I chased a rabbit and before I knew it—
Grandmaster Byakuya:Silence. I did not summon you here to hear apologies.
Rukia:Sorry. Then please, let me ask for forgiveness then.
Grandmaster Byakuya:Did you think this is some kind of temple, a religious church. No it is not. This is Shinigami Academy. Don't bother me with your triviality.
Rukia:( Using puppy dog eyes ) Please Grandmaster Byakuya-nii-sama.
Grandmaster Byakuya:Very well. Considering you are my sister, I will allow it this once.
Rukia:( Smiling happily ) You see… the sky was so blue today, and the grass was sooo green-
Grandmaster Byakuya:Enough, I think I understand what already. You are no longer some immature girl. You are a Shinigami acolyte. As such I have been given a mission to hand to you.
Rukia:Mission?
Grandmaster Byakuya:Yes, by Fuhrer Yamamoto himself.
Rukia:What is the mission?
Grandmaster Byakuya:(Eyeing Rukia seriously sternly.) Acolyte Rukia. What is the most important thing you have learnt here?
Rukia:Always chop a Hollow through the mask, preferably from behind so you-
Grandmaster Byakuya:Other than that.
Rukia:Always uphold the commands issued by the Fuhrer and his government, Central '42.
Grandmaster Byakuya:Yes. It seems that the Fuhrer wish that you leave us for a while…
Rukia:You're sending me away?
Grandmaster Byakuya:Only for a while.
Rukia:NO. Please Grandmaster Byakuya-nii-sama. I'll change. I'll be good I swear it!
Grandmaster Byakuya:It is by direct order. There will be no questioning it. Do you understand. I expect you not to shame our family name.
Rukia:I know what you expect, Nii-sama. (She closes her eyes resignedly and sighs) I'll do it. What do I have to do?
Grandmaster Byakuya:There is a family near the district of Salzburg that needs a governess for the next 40 years.
Rukia:40 years!
Grandmaster Byakuya:Yes. You know how long it takes children in Soul Society to grow up, do you not.
Rukia:(Forlornly) Yes, I do…. How many?
Grandmaster Byakuya:Seven
Rukia:SEVEN!
Grandmaster Byakuya:You do like children, do you not?
Rukia:Well, not really. And definitely not seven.
Grandmaster Byakuya:It is by Fuhrer Yamamoto's direct order.
Rukia:Fine. I'll do it. I understand.
Grandmaster Byakuya:Excellent. I will inform Captain Von Trapp to expect you tomorrow.
Rukia:Captain?
Grandmaster Byakuya:Yes. Captain Ichigo Von Trapp. A retired officer of the Gotei 13. A fine man and a brave one. Or so I've heard. His wife died a long time ago, and so he is alone with the children. I understands he has a difficult time keeping a governess there.
Rukia:Why difficult, Grandmaster Byakuya-nii-sama?
Grandmaster Byakuya:I don't know.
Rukia:( Looks bewildered. ) Guess I'll find out soon enough.
Grandmaster Byakuya:Some words of advice I once read, "When Kami closes a door… somewhere he opens a window."
Rukia:What does that mean?
Grandmaster Byakuya:I don't know.
End Act 1
AN: I hope you liked it. I love Sound Of Music and I couldn't resist! Not my usual stupidity. Try singing the songs to the Original OST, it works!