1000 Ways to TD Die
Chapter 2
DISCLAIMER I OWN NOTHING!
"WARNING The deaths portrayed in this show are real and extremely graphic.""The names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased.""Do not attempt to try ANY of the actions depicted.""YOU WILL DIE!"
"Death...is everywhere. Most of us try to avoid it; others can't get out of its way. Every day we fight a new war against GERMS, TOXINS, INJURY, ILLNESS, and CATASTROPHE.""There's a lot of ways to wind up dead. The fact that we survive at all is a miracle, because every day we live, we face 1000 WAYS TO TD DIE."
Sadie is, for a lack of a better word, fat. She tried everything to lose weight, the cabbage diet, the grape fruit diet, and even the chocolate diet. But nothing seemed to work for her, until one day.
"Katie, I think I'm on to something," she said to her friend over the phone. "I ate tapeworm larvae."
Yes, you heard her right, tapeworm larvae.
In her struggle to lose weight our pudgy friend ordered tapeworm larvae from Brazil. The little fella hatched in her stomach and ate everything Sadie ate. Soon she'd lost weight like water off a ducks ass.
"Katie…. I don't…. feel…. Good," she muttered weakly. "Lost…. 60.… pounds."
The tapeworm in her gut grew to over twenty feet in her large intestine, unheard of in other cases of people with tapeworms; but those people got theirs removed before they got this big, and laid eggs. From there the parasites spread throughout her body.
"So…. Tired," Sadie mumbled, passing out and dropping the phone to the floor. As she lapsed into a coma the worms started to get hungry, and started eating her alive.
"Sadie, hello are you okay?" Katie asked, but it was too late, Sadie was gone.
Way To Die #734 Die It
This is Justin, he's a supermodel, his body has been seen worldwide. Right now he's feeling a little less than super. Living out of a suitcase, empty hotel rooms. His life of glamour is a full time grind, and the worst is the constant dieting.
In his world, if your not thin, your out. What's Justin's secret, he starves himself. To make matters worse he's fallen into a pattern of extremely destructive behavior. Bulimia
"Room service,"
"Yes, room service?" he asks.
"Yes this is room service what can we send up?"
"Everything," he replied bluntly.
This has become a common ritual for Justin, each time it's a love and hate struggle for food. In the end the compulsion to binge always wins over. By stuffing himself with every dish imaginable Justin hopes that the empty feeling will just go away.
Because of his fear of gaining weight Justin isn't planning to digest any of the food he shovels into his mouth. Your stomach can hold up to 160 ounces, any further and boom. Before Justin could jam his finger down his throat to induce vomiting his cycle came to an abrupt end.
His stomach ripped, and all the bacteria from the food spilled out into his body, causing his heart to stop.
Way To Die #892 Gorgeous Gorge
We've all been on bad dates but Gwen and Trent are at death's door because of the date from hell, and it all started in the kitchen. All Trent wanted was to get into Gwen's pants, if he could impress her with his culinary skills he'd be home free.
Though he couldn't boil water he had a plan, all he needed was a bag of readymade salad mix, and a surprise ingredient.
"Just trust me, yes they're snails, or as the French say Escargot," he said.
Gwen had put a lot of raw things in her mouth, but snails. But since Trent acted like he was the Iron Chef, she was impressed. Or dumb enough to trust him.
"Ok, one two three cheers," they said together, sucking down the first of several snails.
"It's not really that bad," he said, smiling past the awful taste.
When Gwen and Trent ate raw snails, parasites called Cantonese Blood Worms entered their circulation and settled in their brains. There the worms began to make a meal of their brain matter. A week after their snail sushi Gwen and Trent developed crippling headaches and severe nausea. They checked into a hospital and were now teetering on the brink of sanity and death.
"Oh by the way… I'm gay," Trent admitted through the haze of painkillers. "The only reason I hooked up with you is because you have the chest of a 12 year old boy."
"I hate you," she replied.
"I hate…" his heart monitor flat lined and he was gone.
It was too late for Gwen to grasp she was dying for trusting a wannabe metro sexual. And all she had done was eat his salad.
Way To Die #622 Brain Worms
END Chapter 2