Chapter 1
2378
Once Voyager arrived unexpectedly in the Alpha Quadrant, everything changed for Chakotay. The friendship he had with Kathryn, which was already strained, became more so when his relationship with Seven came to light. However, their relationship didn't last long. They mutually agreed to go their own ways only three weeks after setting foot on Earth. Chakotay wasn't upset by the separation. Deep down he knew there was no merit to their association. He would never have regretted what he had with Seven if it had not caused a greater shift between Kathryn and him.
Since their return to the Alpha Quadrant, Starfleet had pardoned all Maquis and granted all Voyager officers a leave of absence to reacquaint themselves with their new lives on Earth. During this time they were to decide whether they wanted to continue their alliance with Starfleet or if they wanted to pursue other endeavors. Chakotay was unsure what he wanted to do with his life.
Chakotay felt Kathryn was no longer a person he felt he could confide in. Their friendship was not like before. Since her promotion to Admiral, he figured she would not have the time for his problems. At least that's what he thought to convince himself. He decided it was time to visit his family on Trebus and gain a better perspective on things. Five weeks after their return, he left on a transport ship to Trebus without ever saying good-bye to Kathryn.
He wasn't actually running away from his problems, as many, well mostly B'Elanna, had referred to his actions, he merely needed time to figure out his current situation. He had been offered the captaincy of his own ship as well as a teaching position in the Anthropology Department at Starfleet Academy. Both were appealing offers, but he just needed time to choose the right one. Or possibly decline both.
Chakotay spent a little over two months on Trebus. He swam in the lake, went on hikes, and spent time on his carvings. However, he spent most of his time reacquainting himself with his sister Sekaya and getting to know her husband. He also got to meet his nephew, who had just turned 5. He had missed his sister terribly. He also regretted missing so many years of his nephew's life but, in all honestly, would not have traded those seven years in the DQ because that meant he would have never met Kathryn.
Kathryn.
Kathryn was always on the back of his mind. Always. He missed her. He missed her more than he thought possible. From spending everyday together for seven years, to not seeing each other for months, it was a great change. A hard change. A change he didn't like. They hadn't spoken since he left Earth. He was certain she knew where he was because of B'Elanna. The last, brief conversation he had with her occurred right after the end of their debriefings, just one week before he had left. Even before then, they had only spoken a handful of times. Their friendship had definitely changed for the worse.
Chakotay knew he has caused her pain by entangling himself with Seven. The extent of the pain was hard to tell since the great Captain Kathryn Janeway always had a marvelous way of hiding her feelings. She had perfected her captain's façade a tad too well sometimes. But he knew deep down she was hurt and he was ashamed of his actions.
Chakotay decided it was time to return to Earth. There were many things that needed to be taken care of. He had to inform Starfleet Headquarters and Starfleet Academy of his final decision. But his main concern was Kathryn. He had thought long and hard about his pending professional future, but not as much as he had thought about his future with Kathryn. He needed her back in his life. Even if a relationship with her was no longer feasible, he at least wanted to maintain their friendship, or at least restore it to the way it was at the beginning of their journey. He wanted to correct what he had done wrong. With those final thoughts, Chakotay began his journey back to Earth.