"-and that's when I saw her throw this empty bottle of Snapple into the Grand Canyon." The Ranger tells the courtroom patrons as he lifts a zip-lock bag, filled with the bottle.
"Well, it's clear that you are the litterer, Ms. Kemper." The judge says.
"That's Kepner, your honor." Jackson corrects her.
"Quiet, or I'll have you held over for contempt of court!" The judge barks at him. "The fine is $50, Ms. Penerk. This court is now adjourned." She says banging her gavel.
"Your honor, this is a case built on lies, stacked on a house of cards standing on a Mountain of fabricated falsehoods. I move for immediate dismissal. I didn't deliberately litter on purpose, so I refuse to acknowledge the verdict." April says.
"You can't do that." The judge snorts.
"Well, then I'd like to call my first witness." April says. "Maggie Pierce."
'This is too much! Who is she and what has she done with my April?' Jackson wonders as Maggie walks to the bench.
"Would you please state your name for the court?" April asks.
"M-my n-n-name is-is M-m-m-Maggie P-pierce." Maggie stammers out.
"What's the matter? Are you nervous?" April asks.
"I'm not n-n-nervous." Maggie says.
"You sure sound nervous."
"This is what I always sound when I-"
"Maybe you're nervous because you're lying." April says.
"But I'm not-"
"-maybe you're lying because you don't want us to know your true identity and who you are to Jackson and I." April interrupts.
The judge rolls her eyes.
"My-"
"- and the reason you don't want us to know your true identity is because you, Ms. Thing, knows that I am NOT the litterer! You know that I'm NOT the litterer, but you'd rather see me suffer!" April tells her.
"What is going on here?" The judge asks herself as the fan squeaks.
"And a collective gasp fills the courtroom." April gasps.
"Are we done here?" Maggie says as she starts to walks away from the bench.
"Are you even associated with Renker?" The judge asks Maggie.
"I-" Maggie starts, but she flees from the bench quickly.
"Where's the nearest gift shop?" She asks the bailiff. He simply points out the window.
"You, Pretty Eyes. Approach the bench." The judge says.
Jackson walked up to the bench.
"Take it from here, Ms. Pinker." The judge says.
Jackson rolls his eyes and April fights a smile.
"Please state your name for the court." April tells Jackson.
"I am Jackson Avery."
"That is such a beautiful name. Mr. Avery, where were you on the night of November 10th?"
"Uh, I'm not sure. I might have been with my mother, but didn't this happen in the daytime on June first?"
"Aha! And how would you know that if I were so called guilty of this heinous crime? Ladies and gentlemen, I am NOT your litterer." April says.
"Your Honor, can I just pay the fine for April?" He asks the judge.
"Hostile witness!" The judge yells out.
"Oh, you call this hostile? This is not hostile." April says. "If you want hostile, I'll give you hostile."
"Objection!" Jackson says.
"Overruled!" April says back.
"That's what I say!" The judge says.
"What?" They ask the judge.
"Overruled." She responds.
"Sustained." April says.
"Keep this up, and I'll hold you both in contempt of court."
"I sincerely apologize for my friend, your highness." Jackson says.
"Now, if I may. What do we know? The piece of litter in question? An empty bottle of Snapple. So, it would fit that the litterer must like Snapple." April starts. "It may surprise the court to learn that I, Daffy Duck, love Snapple, but wouldn't litter on purpose for any reason."
No one in the court gallery moves or says anything.
"Is anyone even listening here?" April asks irritably. "The point is, I can't possibly be the litterer, because I don't like to make our beautiful landmark ugly at all. And if the Snapple is unopened by the end of three minutes, you must acquit." She says as the bailiff hands her a new bottle of Snapple.
April tries to open the cap of the bottle in vain, but she fails.
Jackson tries to open the bottle too, and he fails.
As April traps the bottle against the bench, the bottle breaks.
"You broke the bottle!" Jackson says.
"I know that! I didn't do it on purpose! Why in the hell did we get a glass bottle in the first place?"
"Why did you even tap it on the bench?"
"Oh, like you could get it open, Jackman?"
"Don't start with me on that bottle, Kepner. It's-"
"Order." The judge says as she bangs her gavel, but April and Jackson are still arguing.
"ORDER!"
They stop arguing.
"You are both annoying and wasting my precious time. You are both held in contempt and will be placed in jail immediately!"
April gulps.
Jackson remains calm.
"Bailiff, take them away." The judge orders.
The bailiff handcuffs both April and Jackson and hauls them away.
A few minutes later, Maggie walks back in.
"What'd I miss?" She asks.