Summary: After intense bullying left her venturing into the vicious world of self-harm, Letty is checked into one of the LA's best clinics. What awaits will change her life forever. Dotty. Multi-chap.

Wednesday 3rd September 2014

Letty's first Wednesday session with Gisele came around pretty quickly, not that she wanted it to. After giving her timetable a closer look, Letty had found out that her therapy session was the first one of the day, given at nine o' clock to ten 'o' clock. After the daily wake up at eight am, Letty had rolled, literally, out of bed and laid there for another ten minutes. The thought of her upcoming session just made her groan and she pulled the covers from the bed and over her head while she laid on the floor. A knock on the door disrupted her only minutes later and she finally gave in to the fact that she had to get up.

Her zombified walk to the shower led her to walking into the wall twice before she realised that she needed to take a few steps to the right. Pulling her pyjamas over her head and past her hips, she made a quick dash to the shower. The hot water on her skin made her previous scars stand out and the pinkish colouring was a painful reminder of why she was here in the first place. Bypassing washing her hair, Letty quickly scrubbed over her body and rinsed away the bubbles. She jumped out the shower and pulled on a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt.

"Letty, have you not left yet?" Sofia said as she run into Letty leaving the West Wing.

"I'm leaving now, stop stressing. I'm being a good girl and attending my sessions," Letty said, brushing past Sofia and continuing down the corridors until she got to the North Wing.

Gisele was already leaning against her door as Letty walked towards her office. She was already five minutes late, only further confirming Gisele's suspicions that Letty was by no means here of her own accord. Gisele greeted Letty with a smile after a raise of her eyebrows and received a blank look in return.

"Only five minutes late, I've had worse," Gisele commented as she sat behind her desk. "Take a seat."

Letty sat down in the gestured seat and wiggled until she was comfortable. The pair sat in silence as Gisele pulled out a thin folder of Letty's notes, the weight yet to be increased by several notes from the counselling sessions along with grades and feedback from her academic teachers. So far, the folder had basic information such as her background, personal information and some notifications given by Lena on what sort of things Letty liked and what she did not. This way Gisele could determine what relationship Letty had with her mother and if it was a contributing factor in her reasoning to self-harm.

"So, Letty," Gisele began. "Let's start with you telling me a bit about your background, where you're from, etcetera.

"You have all that information in that file," Letty replied, clearly not impressed.

"I know. But I want to hear it from you. Paper has a strange way of changing the meaning of things."

"Fine. I was born in New York."

"It's a start. Tell me about your parents."

"No."

Gisele grabbed her pen and started to jot down notes. Like many other patients, Gisele could see Letty's eyes following the motion of the pen, wondering what was being written. She had learnt a long time ago that hiding what was being written form someone only caused problems and often made patients to withdraw from talking in fear of what would be written down. From this, Gisele had her own method – show whoever was with her what she had written about them and give them reasons why she had written it. Yes; it was time consuming. But in the long run it helped considerably.

"You want to see what I wrote," Gisele stated, taking Letty slightly by surprise.

"Is there anyone who doesn't?" Letty replied, wondering where the conversation was going.

"Here you go," Gisele said, passing over the notes for Letty to read. "Basically I wrote that you were withdrawn and unwilling to talk about family life. Would you say that's fair?"

"Yeah, I'm not one for talking about stuff."

"I guessed. However, I still need something for you so I'm going to set you some homework. I need you to write down one happy memory from your childhood and one bad memory and have it done for our next session. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah, I guess so,"

"Thank you. You can leave now."

As Letty left the office, she ran into Neela, the girl staying in the room next to hers. From what she had overheard, she had been here for only a few weeks more than Letty and had already established a strong group of friends. Giving Neela a look up and down, she was startled by the sound of the girl's voice.

"Who do you think you are?" Neela said.

"Letty, commonly known as the new girl," Letty replied, just as flat toned as Neela.

"We were all new at some point. I assume you just came out of your session with Gisele."

"Yeah, I got set homework." Letty did not know why she was telling Neela all of this but she seemed like a girl to tell it to.

"I got homework too on my first session. One happy, one bad memory from your childhood?" Letty nodded. "I think everyone got that so don't feel like you're the only one."

"I wouldn't know. I think you're the first person I've spoke to apart from someone yesterday. No idea who it was though."

"Can I give you a bit of advice?" Neela asked.

"What?"

"I don't want to sound like every other person here and I'm sure you got the speech from Sofia about giving everything a go but give Gisele a chance. She's a lot different to every other counsellor you've ever been too. She's open about everything she writes about you and doesn't hide her impressions about you. If you give her a bit of time to do her magic you'll be surprised."

"You're right. You do sound a lot like Sofia."

Neela laughed and gave Letty a departing smile as she walked towards Gisele's office. What she had said had confirmed everything Letty was already thinking. Gisele was different. But she would give it a few sessions before she decided if Gisele was different for better or for worse.

"Who's that?" Letty asked Neela, taking a bite of her slice of pizza.

"Amelia Sanchez. What's she doing here?" Neela pondered.

"Eating lunch?"

"You think you're hilarious. She's part of the East Wing. They eat on their own with the rest of their ward."

"So why is she here?" Letty asked.

"I have no idea."

Amelia Sanchez looked like your bog standard high school bitch. Her hair had been straightened to the point where it looked like pieces of straw and her face looked like it had tested every single bit of MAC makeup ever. Her eyebrows were badly drawn on and her eyelashes looked like spider's legs. She was everything that Letty hated put into one single person. From the looks and sounds that Neela was making beside her towards Amelia, Letty could tell that she felt exactly the same way she did. It was the probably the 'she is such a ugly, dumbass bitch' that did it.

"Oh, look who we have here. Nice little Neela," Amelia said as she walked over to the pair.

"Shut up Amelia. Why aren't you in the East Wing canteen?"

"Don't you worry ickle bickle Neela," Amelia said before she noticed Letty. "And who are you?"

Letty looked up at Amelia and raised her eyebrows. "Doesn't ickle bickle Amelia know who I am?" Letty said mockingly.

"You really are a bitch aren't you?"

"Perhaps. But that makes you one as well then."

"And why is that?"

"Well, with half the cosmetics counter on your face and your hair able to act like a horse's bed-" Letty started before she could finish.

"I'm sorry, what?" Amelia said as she advanced towards Letty. Her eyes narrowed into slits and she dropped her bag onto the table. Despite Neela's whispered warnings, Letty stood up to meet her eye to eye.

"You heard me."

"I don't think you quite understand who you're messing with."

"I'm sure you'll be able to inform me," Letty said as the room fell silent. Neela let her head fall into her hands – this was not going to end well.

"Oh, what's that on your wrist?" Amelia asked.

"I think you already know."

"Oh yes, poor you. No wonder you're in here."

Gasps came from every corner of the room as Amelia brought up Letty's self harm. It was a well known rule and courtesy that you never mentioned why another patient was enrolled in the centre. If caught, it could lead to serious consequences and all patients were told upon arrival to report any of these issues to the nearest member of staff. However, this was not Amelia's first time at this and she was currently on what was supposedly her last warning, not like she acted like it. One of the younger patients had already fetched a member of staff and Amelia and Letty were taken to Sofia's office.

"Girls, I am very disappointed in both of you," Sofia started, a disapproving look on her face. After being interrupted in the canteen, they had been led to Sofia's office and told to sit down.

"First of all I just want to say that I did nothing wrong," Letty said before she could be accused of saying anything she did not.

"Yeah right," Amelia muttered under her breath.

"And what do you mean by that," Letty erupted, turning to face her new enemy before Sofia interrupted them.

"Girls. Letty, I am issuing you with your first official warning at the centre. I am very disappointed that I need to give you one this early on at your stay but I hope that this gives you an incentive to work harder in the future. Amelia however, we both know that this is not your first altercation of this kind and you are very slowly losing your place within the centre. But we will not be giving up on you so, like Letty, I am issuing you with an official warning. Note that this is your last warning, and this time I'm not joking."

Both girls were stunned into silence with Sofia's mini speech and both left in silence as they were dismissed. Whilst they walked back together, they did not utter a single word or sound to each other before they reached the canteen and split to their respective groups of friends. In the time that Letty had been absent, a group of girls had gathered around Neela and asked for the gossip. As she moved closer, Letty recognised them as others from the West Wing.

"Letty," Neela called out as she spotted the younger girl moving towards her. "How did it go?"

Letty huffed out a long breath as she sat down and turned to face Neela. "I'm really starting to dislike Sofia now."

"Why? I thought she was alright."

"You've never had to prove something to her. She didn't even let me say anything. It was like she'd already made up her mind before I even walked in the room," Letty ranted. Like the rest of her family, she was never one to go without a say and when it occasionally did happen, she did not like it one bit.

"That's harsh, even for her."

"And then the other day she was telling me how I should be here for my mum and that I should do it for her. I mean, what the hell?"

"That does seem out of order. I don't see why she got involved like that. Definitely stay clear of her in the future."

"I plan to, don't worry," Letty said before nodding her head towards Amelia. "That is unless she has anything to do with it."

Letty and Neela fell into a silence and carried on eating their lunch. The rest of the day passed by with no significant events with Letty getting to know more of the West Wing, especially those in the C ward. With her first set of lessons coming up the next day, Letty figured that it would be a good idea to start friendships now. There was always the possibility that she would end up sitting next to a stranger if she did not become familiar with her peers now.

Thursday 4th September 2014

The next day's later start suited Letty brilliantly and she entered the canteen with a better attitude than she left with the day before. Her conversation with Sofia the previous day was still heavy on her mind and she had not yet forgiven the older woman for what had been said. On a lighter note, Letty had now found friendships with Kieran Dillon, a fellow West C patient who had experienced the centre for the last fourteen months and Poppy Stewart, a newbie like Letty that was that was in South C. Both were easy going and relaxed, Letty's sort of people.

"We've got English first," Neela informed Letty. "I've got a spare sear next to me so I'll see if you can sit next to me."

"Who's the teacher?" Letty asked, taking a bite of her buttered toast.

"Sophie Trinh but everyone just goes with Sophie. She's nice."

"Just nice?"

"She's one of them teachers who will let you get away with murder as long as you do all your work. If you do your work properly and to the expected standards then you are welcome to talk all you want. If you don't then you're probably better off coming to class wearing a bullet proof vest."

"That bad?"

"That bad."

The morning bell went and everyone filtered out of the room. Neela led Letty towards the English classroom and introduced her to Sophie. The young Asian woman wore dark, skinny jeans that hugged her toned legs. A pale pink blazer covered up her simple, white shirt. She added inches to her height with a pair of black heels while her black hair was left loose around her shoulders. She looked kind enough and she held a copy of John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men in her hand. With a kind smile, she invited Letty over to her desk to discuss the seating arrangements.

"Okay, Letty. I'm Sophie Trinh but Sophie will do just fine. Now from my files I can see that you are in the same wing and ward as Neela, am I correct?" Neela said. At Letty's nod of agreement she continued. "So for now, I'll sit you next to her and we'll go from there okay?"

"Sounds good to me," Letty said before she took a seat next to Neela.

"Okay guys, today we're going to start a new book – John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. Around the room, I have stuck up eight answers about the background of Of Mice and Men, the questions are on the board. You've got until quarter past to have them written out, in full sentences, in your books. Go."

After being handed a new book by Sophie, Letty followed Neela around the classroom and they took it in turns to match an answer to a question. Between them the eight pairs were quickly completed and they were the first back in their seats. They had decided to shorthand write the questions and answers in the back of their books and then change them into full sentences in the front of their books. Neela had used the technique many times before and Letty eagerly copied her. While the novel was new to the class, it was not to Letty. Lena had made her daughter study the book for school. Until she realised it was the wrong book.

"Okay, first question. What did Of Mice and Men develop into?"

Poppy raised her hand. "Of Mice and Men developed into a play and a movie."

"Great answer, Poppy. When was Of Mice and Men written?"

"Of Mice and Men was written in 1937," Letty answered after raising her hand.

"That's good, Letty. Next question."

Sophie went through the rest of the questions until all eight answers had been paired with their questions. They quickly moved onto the first page of the Chapter One, Sophie instructing the class to turn to the first page and listen as she read.

'A few miles south of Soledad, the Salinas River drops in close to the hillside bank and runs deep and green. The water is warm too, for it has slipped twinkling over the yellow sands in the sunlight before reaching the narrow pool. On one side of the river the golden foothill slopes curve up to the strong and rocky Gabilan mountains, but on the valley side the water is lined with trees – willows fresh and green with every spring, carrying in their lower leaf junctures the debris of the winter's flooding; and sycamores with mottled, white, recumbent limbs and branches that arch over the pool. On the sandy bank under the trees the leaves lie deep and so crisp that a lizard makes a great skittering if he runs among them. Rabbits come out of the brush to sit on the sand in the evening, and the damp flats are covered with the night tracks of 'coons, and with the spread pads of dogs from the ranches, and with the split-wedge tracks of deer that come to drink in the dark.

"So from the first paragraph, what can we tell?" Sophie asked the group.

Letty was the first one to raise her hand. "Steinbeck is very descriptive in his writing. His writing style allows the use of imagery, giving the reader a visual representation of the Salinas River without actually showing them a photo. Some of his adjectives, such as 'narrow' and 'lower' allow the reader to get a scaled version of the place. For example, 'narrow' helps create the visual of a tight stream of water along with a enclosed space."

Sophie smiled as Letty finished her analysis of the passage. She was already impressed the new pupil. "Wow, Letty, that was an excellent breakdown of the paragraph. Has anyone else got anything to add?"

Neela raised her hand. "I was thinking about the lexical choice. The way Steinbeck uses 'deep green' as opposed to any other colour. The 'green' suggests a peaceful place with a relaxed environment where anything is happy and has a really light atmosphere. Green is very stereotypically a neutral colour and helps express that river itself and its surroundings hold no anger or sadness."

"Again, another excellent piece of analysis," Sophie said, pleased with both of the students. She knew that Neela was a good student, achieving high grades in her description of Harper Lee's, To Kill A Mockingbird. "We've quickly run out of time for today so pack up and you can leave when the bell goes. Letty, can I have a word when you're finished please?"

"Yeah, of course," Letty said before making her way over to Sophie's desk. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to say that you were excellent today. You pleasantly surprised me."

"Thank you."

Letty left Sophie at her desk and met up with Neela outside the classroom. Neela gave Letty a big smile along with a couple of winks. "I never realised you were that smart. You struck me as the 'can't be bothered' type."

"I guess I'm just a bag full of surprises."

After English came History. Sean Boswell had been teaching the subject ever since the centre had opened four years ago. As the class entered the classroom, he noticed the new face that he had previously been told about. From the staffroom gossip and general chit chatter, Sean had already come to the conclusion that Letty would be trouble when it came to the classroom. From what he had heard yesterday, she was already on Sofia's bad side, had been in an altercation with another patient and in return had received her first warning. He was not looking forward to teaching her.

"Okay then in you come. Settle down, settle down," Sean almost shouted over the noise. The hustle and bustle of teenagers was always a noisy event.

"Hi, I'm Letty, the new girl. Where do you want me to sit?" Letty asked, surprisingly nicely.

"Who do you know?"

"I know Neela quite well. I know Kieran and Poppy as well but the others I haven't really spoke to."

"I'll sit you next to Neela for now but if I think you're not getting on with your work one of you will be moved. Got it?"

"Got it."

Letty took her seat next to Neela and maintained eye contact with Sean until he turned around to the board. With Neela's quick nudge and a confused look on her face, Letty quickly explained that she didn't think Sean liked her and that they must be on their best behaviour if they wanted to stay seating next to each other. A quiet chatter started in the classroom as Sean handed out booklets to every pupil, each entitled, 'Vietnam c1950-1975'. After last term's visit to Europe, it had been decided that this term's topic would be set at home in America.

"Okay, so as you can see this term we will be looking at the Vietnam War. We all know that this is a sensitive topic among some Americans so just respect that. We're going to start with the first page, volunteers for reading?" Sean said. At Poppy's raised hand, he gave her a nod and she started to read.

"For centuries, Vietnam was divided into two parts, the North and the South. Although it was united for a short time in the 19th century, both parts had been involved in several wars with each other. In 1887, Vietnam was joined by its neighbours, Laos and Cambodia, to create colony called the French Indochina. However, during World War Two, Japan gained control of Vietnam, a movement which stripped the country of food and let thousands of Vietnamese dead from starvation. When Japan was defeated, the French took control once more but North Vietnam wanted independence."

"Thank you, Poppy. Now in your pairs, I want you to discuss why North Vietnam may have wanted independence from France. You've got ten minutes."

Letty and Neela both turned to face each other, booklets in hand. With hurried words, they discussed North Vietnam's need for independence before quickly moving onto the next topic of Amelia. After yesterday's altercation, neither girl had seen or spoken to Amelia but both of them knew that it would not be the last they saw of her. A loud timer sounded and Sean gained the class's attention.

"Okay, Jordan. What have you got for me?"

"I think they were fed up of being owned."

"In what way?"

"North Vietnam were probably feeling a bit like a pet. Everything they wanted all depended on how France felt. As the supposed owners of the country, France would control the food, people and trading. If that was me, I wouldn't want to be controlled like that."

"That's right. North Vietnam was fed up with being a puppet. They wanted to own themselves, just like many other countries."

Flurries of hands were raised and they spent the rest of the lesson discussing independence and what it would feel like to be owned as a community. The topic strayed off topic several times as many different opinions were formed and changed. Each individual had given a piece of information except Letty, something that was not unnoticed by Sean. As the conversation finally died down, Sean called on Letty for her explanation.

"So, Letty. What do you think about the independence?"

"I think," she started before pausing slightly. "I think that North Vietnam went through the same feelings as America did years ago. They wanted freedom and to be themselves. It's sort of like a teenager. A rebellious North Vietnam against their parents France.

"Very good," Sean said. As Sophie had been previously, Sean was pleased with how Letty had fit into the class.

As the end of the day came drawing in, the staff gathered in the staff room for the daily catch up on their lessons, therapy sessions and all round gossip. One particular topic of conversation was Letty.

"I found her really nice," said Sophie. "She gave me a really detailed analysis on a paragraph. It was as if she had read the book before. She's a breath of fresh air in the classroom."

"I like her as well," Han Lue, the science teacher, added. He had taught her that afternoon and she had shown none of the attitude that she showed against Amelia. Her work ethic was amazing throughout all subjects and based off the lessons they had had today, none of them could see the girl described in her records.

"I think the attitude is there somewhere," Tej Parker, the finance teacher, said. He had been the last of the teachers to be given the pleasure of Letty's company but unlike the rest of the subjects, she seemed to dislike anything to do with numbers. While her maths was not weak, her willingness to do it was – a problem Tej could see flaring up continuingly during her time at the centre.

Back at the West Wing, Letty and Neela were both sitting on Letty's bed, reading through teen magazines. They were not really Letty's thing but she needed something to get her through the day. She had considered showing Neela her sharpened bobby pin and getting her opinion on it but she wasn't that convinced that Neela wasn't going to alert someone. Letty wasn't even sure whether Neela self-harmed in the centre, she didn't want to restart any old feelings. She would wait to see if she was still harming and go from there.

R&R