Patsy refused to let go of Delia's hand and for once she didn't care what anyone else thought. Losing Delia for nearly a year after making her her world has made her have a vice grip on Delia's hand. She occasionally squeezed it just to make sure that she's really there, that it's not just a dream, it'll be just her luck that Delia will suddenly vanish leaving Patsy alone. But she didn't, in fact, she squeezed back and gave the biggest smile Patsy has ever seen.
They sat in silence until Kimberley decided to speak up.
"Right well, I have a hot date with a sailor, so instead of staring lovingly into each others eyes, I have a few things I need to discuss with you, Patsy, because Delia is a stubborn fool."
Patsy broke her gaze with Delia to look at Kimberley, "yes, of course."
"Okay, so, she gets these seizers when she panics, and they are quite frequent-"
Delia cut in, "I haven't had one for a while, it's nothing to worry about."
"If you haven't had one for a while then you are definitely overdue one, she needs to take these," Kimberley places a box on the table, "when the seizer starts, then she just needs you to cuddle her and sooth her until she calms down."
Patsy reached across with her free hand and picked up the box and placed it carefully into her coat pocket. "I'll make sure she takes them."
"Her memory hasn't quite come back completely, but she will need you to fill in the voids."
"Voids?"
"Yes, mainly people and things she likes, they help her memory, some of the things she likes are exclusive to London, so I couldn't help."
"Right, well one thing you don't like is cake." Patsy laughed.
Delia gasped in recognition, "that man!"
Kimberley smiled towards the two girls and stood up, "on that note, I'll be off, that sailor won't wait around for me, not if he has another floozie falling all over him."
Patsy stood up with her and walked around the table, "thank you," she grabbed her hand and cupped her face, "thank you so much for this. I can't begin to tell you how much this means to me and I don't think I'll be able to ever return the favour."
"The only way you have to make it worth the trip is to take care of her. She's my favourite cousin-"
Delia cut in, "I'm your only cousin."
"Point still stands. But she was my best friend for twelve years before she moved to London. So take care of her."
Patsy felt water flood her eyes again before pouring onto her cheeks. "I will." She whispered.
Patsy dropped her hands and Kimberley waved at them as she left. She held out her hand for Delia, "come on, maybe Sister Julienne will let you stay at Nonnatus."
"Nonnatus?" Delia said, confusion etched on her face.
Patsy panicked slightly, "yes, where I work and live, as a midwife."
"Oh, of course." Delia still seemed confused, "we're going to live there?" She asked.
"Only temporarily. Then we go flat hunting." That seemed to click in Delia's head and they both smiled at each other, "come on Deels, there are a few upset midwives and nuns waiting for us."
The walk back was made purposely slow, Patsy wanted a few more minutes alone with Delia before she shared her with the rest of the group at Nonnatus. Instead of hand holding, Patsy settled for interlocking their arms, as she's seen many women do and not bat an eyelid.
Every so often she bit her tongue, 'yes, not a dream.' She'd recite to herself. She stopped them just before the bridge, she'd spent the entire walk thinking about Delia that she never thought of what to tell everyone at Nonnatus. Several different scenarios ran through her mind all of them ending with 'Delia loves me and I love her'. 'I'll just have to wing it.' She thought to herself.
"Pats, what are we going to tell them?" Delia asked, she must have been thinking the same thing.
"I don't know, Deels. Maybe you could say that once you got over the initial injuries you just wanted to come back and continue nursing." Patsy suggested as they continued walking.
"I think I'll say I bumped my head and God sent me a ginger lad to remind me of the most beautiful thing God has ever created." Delia turned towards Patsy at the door.
Patsy reached for the door handle, "I wish you could say that, but they might not let you stay if you do."
"Worth a try." Delia giggled. Patsy had so missed her giggle, it made the sun shine on a rainy day and it was enough to help heal her heart.
"Ready?" Patsy asked.
"Ready."
The women of Nonnatus made a great fuss of Delia's return, bringing out cake and elated conversation to the table. The night was all about her and Patsy couldn't be happier. Barbara and Nurse Crane chatted happily to her for most of the evening, Sister Evangelina was called away as another woman had gone into labour. Sister Julienne and Sister Winifred refilled the cups of tea whilst Trixie grabbed Patsy's hand and dragged her towards their shared bedroom.
"Is this a kidnapping?" Patsy laughed. Trixie didn't laugh, however she looked slightly annoyed. "Trixie?"
"You act completely miserable for months, nothing at all cheered you up, not even when that rather dashing man asked for your phone number," Trixie began, "yet as soon as Delia is back you couldn't even attempt to wipe the smile off your face. In fact, the only thing that would take that off is if Sister Monica Joan had imagined her as cake and started to devour her."
Patsy started to panic, she's used to thinking on her feet, but she's so tired of denying her love of Delia.
"Trixie, I don't know what you mean, she's my best friend, I've known her for a while, I apologise if her good health makes me happy." Patsy walked towards the door, only to be stopped.
"Right, if you're not going to be truthful then I'm going to do this," Trixie turned around, locked the door and placed the key down her top, "we're going to sit here until you tell me the truth, I've known you for nearly three years, I think I deserve the truth."
Patsy sat down on her bed, what was Trixie hinting at? Does she know? She's certain she's been good at hiding her affection towards Delia.
"What do you want to hear?" She asked.
"I want to know the truth."
"What if you can't handle the truth, what if the truth ruins everything, what if you hate me after knowing the truth?" Patsy averted her eyes.
"I can handle it. I've wanted to ask this since I first met Delia. Your eyes do this thing when she's around or even when her name is mentioned." Trixie trailed off, waiting for Patsy to come clean.
"What do you want me to say? That I love her? That I've waited my entire life to find someone that feels the same way I do? That when she looked at me in that hospital bed and asked who I was I felt like she had actually died? What do you want from me, Trixie?" Patsy stood up, slightly outraged.
"Yes. I want you to tell me all those things. I want you to sit up all night with me and giggle over silly things she does or giggle over her strange eating habits. You did it with me, I should have done it with you!" Trixie also stood up. Patsy refused to cry again, not now, Trixie will not see her cry.
"I love her. I am in love with her. I want to shout it from Big Ben and I want to sing her love songs in public but I can't. I can't and you have no idea how much it hurts. You don't know how it feels to not even be able to look at her for more than three seconds because you're scared that someone will catch on. You don't know how it feels to be segregated because of something you can't help. And to have to hide it because other people don't like it." Patsy stopped and tried to calm herself down when Trixie enveloped her in a hug.
"Thank you," Trixie whispered into Patsy's neck, "thank you for telling me." She pulled back and kissed her cheek, "now, let's return to the party."
A couple of hours later and two more labours the midwives and nuns dispersed. Trixie and Sister Winifred went to the calls of the two women which left Sister Mary Cynthia and Delia chatting at the table and Sister Julienne walked back into her study. Patsy followed her.
"Come in." She had called once Patsy knocked on the door, "Nurse Mount, come, sit." She smiled. She was such a loving woman, always happy to help, always kind hearted.
"Hello, Sister. I was wondering if I could ask for a favour?" Patsy sat down, mirroring Sister Julienne's smile.
"Of course, Nurse Mount."
"Delia doesn't have a place to stay, she's only just come back, we're both looking for flats again but for the time being-" Patsy rambled on quickly, Sister Julienne had to concentrate hard just to hear her but she cut her off with a reassuring smile.
"Of course she can stay. There's a spare room down the hall from yours where she can sleep, does she have to be looked after?"
"Yes, just in case she has a seizure."
"Well, it's settled. You both will stay in that room until you move out, but now both of you are part of Nonnatus, we expect you both to come each day for lunch regardless of if you're staying here or not." She smiled, such a genuine smile for such a genuine woman. She was an inspiration for all.
"Thank you, Sister Julienne." Patsy got up and made her way to leave before flashing an award winning smile and making her way to the dining room.
It's been a funny sort of day in the life of Patience Mount. It's been on the up and up and she's scared that the next day won't be as good but the fact that she'll be waking up next to Delia means that there's hope. Hope. Hope was the only thing keeping Patsy sane, keeping her from the dark voices threatening to take over. She owes a lot to hope.
After another good couple of hours everyone had retired to bed. Patsy led the way to their new bedroom and opened the door for both of them.
"Wait." Patsy said before Delia made her way inside.
"What?" Delia asked, confused.
Patsy looked around the corridor to make sure no one could see, "come here, let me just," placing one arm on Delia's back and hunching over slightly before placing the other arm under Delia's legs, "I've always wanted to do this." She giggled before hoisting Delia up and carrying her, bridal style, through the doorway before placing her on one of the beds.
"Close the door." Delia instructed and Patsy obliged. "Come here." Once again Patsy did as she was told and lay next to Delia. "I love you."
"I love you too." Patsy whispered before leaning across and kissing Delia's lips.