"If you can't give up one, learn to balance both at the same time."

Yamaken was still holding onto Shizuku's arm when they left the building. He was breathing slightly ragged; not the picture of calm that he usually exhibited. His blonde hair covered his eyes and all Shizuku could see was his open mouth. It was set in a grimace.

The pair stopped in an alleyway a little ways from the library with Shizuku pressed up against the wall. Yamaken was holding her tightly still and it began to sting.

"Yamaken-kun, can you let me-"

"Why?!"

Yamaken yelled suddenly with a voice filled with rage. His eyes were still downcast and his chest was heaving. Shizuku's eyes widened in surprise but she continued as calmly as she could, raising her hand to rest on Yamaken's clenching one.

"Because it hurts..."

The yellow haired boy looked up then, confused with her answer. He quickly glanced at his hand clutched onto her jacket and released immediately. He put the hand next to her head on the stonewall. His anger had not yet dissipated.

"No-," he looked around exasperatedly, "why... why him?! And why are you telling me all this now! Why can't I..."

Yamaken's hands dropped to his side, the wind knocked out from him. Shizuku was stock still, unsure of what to say or how she could possibly answer. 'Why... him?' Shizuku mulled over the question in her mind. The question warranted thought but surprisingly, she could not answer it for herself.

She suddenly thought back to something she told Natsume about how Haru must have liked her simply because she was close at hand. The thought made Shizuku confused and she quickly shook her head to dispel the thought.

"I don't know..." Mizutani whispered in response. Her face was slowly growing red at Yamaken's close proximity but he didn't seem to take notice. He took a step back and put a hand to his face, furiously wiping at his eyes.

In the dim shine of the alley, Shizuku saw a reflection of light upon Yamaken's face. It was damp with what seemed to be tears. Her breath caught in her throat and she found she could not move from her spot against the wall.

"Why can't I... just not like you anymore...?" Yamaken seemed to be directing this question towards himself. He took further steps backwards with his face still towards to floor as if he refused to look at the shocked girl standing mere feet away.

"Yamaken-" Shizuku reached out a hand. Without thinking, she found herself stepping forward, reaching her arms up to embrace the crying boy. She thought better of it and returned her arms to her side. The scene was familiar to her... though this time the tears were not happy ones. She stepped back hesitantly.

"I'm-"

"This is embarrassing..." Yamaken cut Mizutani off and looked up. His eyes were slightly red but his demeanor was improved. His back stood straight and his golden eyes held a new determined look to them.

"Whenever I talk to you, I always feel this way. And whenever I'm away from you, I think how this is easier than I thought. But then it's always the same. And I see you now at the library and you say all this stuff-! I can't handle it."

Yamaken walked towards the opening of the alleyway at two strides at a time.

He looked back at her, "When I said I didn't want to be friends anymore, I..." he faltered for a moment, "I- I meant it. I don't want to see you. I'm sorry, Mizutani-san."

With those final words, Yamaken walked swiftly out from the alleyway, not even pausing to glance back at the shaken girl.

A few moments passed and Shizuku had yet to move from her spot on the wall. The words of Yamaken were still processing through her mind and she looked to the floor. The ground was slightly damp.

'He was crying...' Shizuku thought to herself. Seeing him in tears had shocked her; that the pain of her words was enough to incite such a reaction.

Mizutani suddenly felt a deep guilt. She had never intended to make Yamaken feel such a way and the regret she was feeling was astounding. Unsure of her next actions, Shizuku simply walked out of the alley in silence.

Looking left and right down the sidewalk, she hoped to see a mop of bumbling yellow hair, but saw none.

She decided to head home.

Laying in bed that night, Shizuku thought once more about what she said all those days ago. She felt guilty for thinking them but had an inexplicable urge to unfold her emotions.

She rolled over on her side and stared blankly into the darkness. 'Why do I like Haru?' Her mind flashed back to one of her first encounters with the eccentric boy. He called her his friend. He had tears in his eyes. She hugged him. He kissed her...

'He told me he loved me...'

The exact moment when Shizuku fell in love with Haru was lost in a whirlwind of memories and experiences. That day on the roof, she thought, surely is when I knew I was in love.

'Haru was one of my first friends.' Shizuku turned back and forth until she was flat on her back staring at the ceiling. It felt stuffy in her room but it was cold at the same time.

'Yamaken was one of my first friends...'

Mizutani shut her eyes tightly, trying to dispel the thoughts that popped up into her mind when she thought about the blonde. His words of advice, cram school, helping him when he was lost. There was no doubt to her that they were friends. It had happened without her even noticing.

It was weird, she mused, how Yamaken's own advice about balancing both studying and a life was now applying to her current situation. How could she balance both Haru and Yamaken?

After minutes of contemplation, exhausted took over and Shizuku finally fell asleep.

Author's Note: Are notes still allowed? Anyway, one of my biggest qualms with writing fanfiction is that I am always worried about OOCness. It is a problem that many writers suffer with and I work hard to guess at how a character might react in a certain situation without appearing too far-fetched. It must be taken with a grain of salt however. The characters in this work are two that I am only slightly familiar with. The anime, after all, was only 13 episodes and even the manga only revealed so much. I did my best. And though I know that barely anyone will ever read this, it's good practice for me! Thank you to anyone who reads and reviews. Sorry if the grammar or spelling or such is a little off. I'm not too concerned with the syntax of things, I just want to try and get a decent story out. Thanks again!