Thank you all for your wonderful comments and reviews! It truly makes my day to read them! Thank you to my new followers and favorites as well! You guys give me the wind to keep writing! I hope you enjoy chapter 2...it gets very angsty just to warn you, but I promise light is coming!

MANY thanks to Teammccord for proofing the story as I write it! (only about half of this chapter was proofed, I was just so excited to get it posted!)

ENJOY!

As the black SUV pulled out of the driveway with Henry sitting in the back, he couldn't help wonder if he was making the right decision. He was angry with her, and he was hurting, but she was still his wife, the love of his life and the mother of his children. Should he be going to work when he knew she needed him? She had pushed him away, closed her walls around herself again, bearing the brunt of the pain from both him and the decision to put her beloved Buttercup to sleep. He was hurting as well, he didn't like treating her like this — how he had let it get this far was beyond him. All he could do while sitting in the back of the SUV was sit and think about how to make things right again, he hated that some of the detail had to leave to run him back to the city, but they had left their Jeep at the house in Georgetown.

He was reflecting on how distant he had become himself — no wonder she had put her walls up now that she really wanted to rely on him. He had pushed her away by being mean and shutting her down, not to mention yelling at her so much in the past two days than he could ever remember yelling at her. He just didn't know how to let all of this madness that was swirling around in his head out. He knew he needed to talk to someone, get some help, and she tried to point him in the direction of help, but he was a tough Marine and a guy — talking to a therapist wasn't really fitting in with his image. He just knew that he had to do something before he pushed away the best thing that had ever happened to him.

After being reminded by Jane that they can't save everyone, Henry had found himself walking into the church. He had decided, that since he couldn't talk to Elizabeth about how he was truly feeling, he would turn to confession. He really didn't know what to say, or even do, the moment he entered the church—he was struggling and wasn't sure of where to start, or even if he wanted to say some of the things that were bothering him out loud for someone to hear. He was scared, she was scared — How in the world did they get to this place. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the confessional.

"Please excuse me father for I have sinned. It has been 6 months since my last confession. Since then I have been involved with some decisions that have cost a young man his life and in return have been taking it out on my wife, blaming her. I know she was not personally responsible for what happened to this young man, but every time I look at her I am only reminded of what took place." Pausing for a moment he continued: "I have found myself lying to her more and more on a daily basis, distancing myself from her, and yelling at her."

As he continued along with his confessions, he had felt himself being able to breath easier. There it was decided he had to get back to the farm. He loved her and would always be there for her, as much as he was angry and upset with her currently she needed him there to lean on.

As she watched him walk away she turned her full attention back to Buttercup. Yes, she wanted him to stay, but knew he needed to go, and hopefully he would come back once he was done with things at work.

"Hey buddy, thank you so much for being my horse. I love you to much to let you suffer like you are, I cannot stand seeing you in pain, or even knowing you're in pain. You deserve to be pain free, boy," she said as she hugged his neck, placing a kiss on his nose. He sensed something was wrong and talked back to her, he knew deep down that she was sad and tried his best to nuzzle her arms and rub his face against her.

"Oh boy, how I am going to miss you so much when you are gone. You have always been there for me to talk to, to calm me down after a stressful day at work, or a tiff with Henry. You have been so very gentle with the kids and taught them how a horse should be with kids. Do you remember the first time Henry rode you? You were showing off and almost caused him to fall," she recalled with a slight laugh as tears escaped down her cheeks.

"Buttercup, how am I going survive without you? You understand when I'm down and know exactly to cheer me up when no one else can. With everything that's going on with Henry right now, I'm scared that I'm losing both of you at the same time and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on. I can just feel you slipping away and know what the end of the day will bring for you, but Henry I just don't know what to do for him — he is in pain and I don't know how to help ease his pain — yours I know what to do."

As the words flowed from her mouth and the tears streamed down her cheeks, she clung to his neck with all her might, burying her face in his neck and mane. He responded to her with a slight snicker and a rub of his nose against her back — almost as if he was embracing her in a hug.

Wiping her tears, she continued to talk to him and was even able to manage a small smile when he nodded in agreement with what she was saying. She had heard a noise behind her, and slowly turning around she was surprised to see Henry standing there — she had been expecting Dr. Sue to have come back by now. Not wanting to let go of his halter, or even leave his side, he snickered again and nodded his head — as if telling her to go to him.

Picking up her pace as she walked towards him, she noticed the grief and sadness in his eyes and written on his face. As he held his arms out to her she placed her hands on them — the feeling of his body was calming for a moment.

"Thank you for coming back," she whispered, too afraid to speak louder because the dam was going to burst.

As she said this he wrapped his strong, comforting arms around her, pulling her into a much needed hug. He pulled back for a moment, looked into her sad clouded eyes and promised her: "whatever happens, we're together." Then he pulled her back into a hug — a hug like he hadn't seen her in forever — strong and reassuring. They had stood there like that for a while, just holding each other, not wanting to let go.

As she thanked Dr. Sue for her services and her wonderful handling with this difficult situation, she bent down and gave an already gone Buttercup a kiss on the forehead. She was going to miss him dearly, but knew that the terrible decision she was faced with today was for the best. Henry pulled her under his arm, holding her tightly to him as they walked out of the barn and into the house.

There was an uncomfortable silence that filled the house, she had pulled out of his arm to take her coat and boots off in the mudroom. He had taken off his coat as well, not knowing what to say to her, which was uncharacteristic for him no matter what was going on. He noticed she was just wandering aimlessly through the kitchen, so she walked over to her and pulled her into a hug — holding her like he hasn't in quite awhile. He was so lost in his own mind lately that he knew he had been neglecting her. He held her, standing in the middle of the kitchen, held her as she cried — cried for her beloved horse and for the fear of losing her husband.

As her tears slowed she pulled back to look up at him — sadness written all over his face, with pain showing in his eyes — she reached her hands up to his face, holding his cheeks pulling his face closer to hers. She kissed him like she hadn't kissed him in so long — a needy yet passionate kiss. Taking his hand in hers she led them to the living room, sitting down on the couch pulling him down beside her.

"Henry, we really need to talk. Now might not be the best time, but I have a feeling its the best chance we will have to say what needs to be said," she started looking him right in the eyes, her clouded blue eyes locking with his clouded hazel eyes. "I know things have been difficult for you lately and I've been trying my best to give you some space, do you need me to pull back more until you get things figured out? I can handle you being distant with me to a point, but the yelling and blame and feelings of not knowing if you can deal with these thoughts anymore scares me — it scares me to a point that you'll do something that I will never be able to get over." She had paused, looking at him while playing with her rings, waiting for his response. If she had to leave him alone for awhile, she figured now would be as good a time as any — he could stay at the farm house, and she would go back to the town house.

He sat there, looking at her trying to make sure those words had really come out of her mouth. As he was taking her words in, thinking of how to respond he turned his gaze to the floor, not wanting to meet her eyes for a moment. "Elizabeth, I promised you 26 years ago in sickness and in health, until death do us part — and I intend to hold to those vows. I am sorry that I have been so distant and hard to live with lately, but until I can come to terms with the stuff that had happened I am afraid I will keep doing the things I am doing." He couldn't even look at her as he spoke the words out loud, fear gripping him.

She moved her hand to touch his, a gentle reminder that she was here for the long haul as well, the rings on their fingers constant reminders — she had gently run her fingers across his ring letting him know just where she stood. "Babe look at me, please?" she pleaded with him dipping her head in hopes to catch his eyes. "I am scared, scared that I'm going to lose you to the demons that seem to be floating around inside that beautiful mind of yours, scared that I will never be enough for you anymore, that I will never be able to be sorry enough for what happened to Dimitri for you to forgive me."

Pausing for a moment to collect her thoughts, he had curled his fingers around hers that still rested on his hand — signaling to her that he was listening to what she was saying.

"I do think it would be good for us to start some sessions, as a couple, with Dr. Sherman. Please just think about it, for me — for US, I cannot lose you Henry, I can't."

He said nothing, did nothing for a few minutes. He was a Marine — a tough guy — would he have to hand in his "man card" if he agreed to go to counseling with her? He would do anything to save their marriage, but didn't quite understand what counseling would do for them.

"I don't know what counseling will do for us, but if you think it will help you feel better, then okay I will go see Dr. Sherman with you." He had agreed because he hated seeing her like this. "Baby, I just want you to know that I do still love you more than anything even thought I have not been showing it lately." He tried to reassure her yet again.

"Thank you for agreeing to see her Henry, it really means a lot to me." she paused, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "It's been a long day, I think I'm going to head to bed will you come hold me?"

"I will be more than happy to hold you," he replied as he stood and pulled her to standing, taking her into a hug, then leading her up to their bedroom.

Finally able to relax in each others arms they reassured each other the best they could, the only way they knew, that they will always ALWAYS belong together, their bodies melting into each other as the stresses fell away with the beating of their hearts and the dancing of their bodies. She fell asleep in his arms as her tears fell on his chest, crying for her horse and for him. He watched her sleep until exhaustion took over his body and mind as well.