A World Without You
Chapter 2: Regret
Main Pairing: Faberry
Side Pairings: Brittana; Others TBD
The following story is rated M for suggestive and sexual themes, attempted suicide, & strong language and may be unsuitable for those under 17. Reader discretion advised.
A/N - Wow! It's been way too long. I've had the next few chapters written for a while, just didn't update until a friend of mine convinced me. From now on, I'll probably update weekly. You guys are awesome! Even if the amount of Favorites, Follows, & Reviews may seem small to some, they made me very happy. However, I would like to remind you all to vote on the side pairing poll because your answers will greatly affect the winners and the winners will greatly affect the story because I plan on making the side pairings a big deal, unlike in other fics where the side pairings are just chillin' in the background. However, they won't be as big a deal as Faberry, obviously. So head to my profile and vote dammit! Also, If anybody has any good betas, let me know because once again, this is unbeta'd. Okay, here are my replies to my wonderful reviewers.
cburton1995 - I love your enthusiasm. Seriously, when I saw your review, I dropped my crutches and skipped around the house not even caring how much pain my foot was in. (:
ShadowCub - I totally agree with you. I hate it when one chapter is full of hate, and then the next chapter all is forgiven and everything is fluffy. It's like the writers are bipolar to where they want the story to go, kinda like the actual Glee writers, but I don't plan on making things peachy too quickly. I was bullied as well and reached some pretty low points at a very young age, so I'll make sure this fic does justice.
HannahWilliam33 - Yes, yes it was depressing. But thank you for the praise. I really wasn't sure about it. Make sure you vote for Tingar and another pairing at my profile or else the vote won't count.
Gardenia2 - Thank you for favoriting & reviewing on the first chapter. It normally takes more for me.
Musiclover131421 - Make sure you vote for Tyder and another ship at my profile or else it won't count if it's just a review.
We love us - Honestly, seeing your review was the moment I decided to start writing this chapter. You seemed really passionate about it.
Reviewers, Followers, & Favoriters - Thank you for showing your support in my fic. I really wasn't sure about it, so the fact that people actually like it makes me sooooooo grateful.
Leroy Brown sat next to Rachel's bed in silence. Rachel's body seemed completely lifeless. If it weren't for the slow steady beep of the heart monitor, you would have no idea she was even alive. He couldn't believe this happened to his daughter of all people. Sure, he could see she was feeling down ever since Hiram left, but he hadn't realized it was this bad.
He was still trying to get over Hiram's departure himself. He had buried himself in his work. He had neglected his daughter . He had ignored her depression, hoping it would pass. He couldn't believe he let it get this bad. Now it was too late.
"Doctor Brown?" a nurse came in to get her boss's attention.
LeRoy cleared his throat and looked up. He still hadn't gotten used to being called Doctor Brown. "Yes?"
"Someone is here to see your daughter."
Anger immediately swelled up inside LeRoy. It was probably that so-called boyfriend of hers. What was his name? Flynt? Ben? Whatever. He should've been taking care of her. He should have been protecting her. He shouldn't have let this happen. "Let 'em in."
The nurse nodded before walking out again.
Santana could hardly recognize Quinn. When she walked into the hospital an hour ago, she found the shell of the girl she knew just a few hours ago. She wasn't expecting to find her best friend curled up in the very corner chair of the waiting room, sobbing into her knees which were being hugged to her chest tightly by her arms. She knew that under all of the torture and insults that Quinn did really care about Rachel, but she still didn't think it would hit her this hard, however, she didn't realize how much pain Rachel was in either. I mean she slit her wrists and from what Quinn told her, they were pretty deep. Wait a minute. What Quinn told her. What Quinn told her? Quinn was the one who went to her house. Why? Why was Quinn at her house? She figured asking now wouldn't be a good idea, but she knew she had to find out sooner or later.
Tina seriously felt like a part of her died inside. She told Rachel that she would always stay by her side, and she took the cheap way out. She knew how depressed she was. She turned against her when she needed her most. But she was just so tired of it all. The slushies. The names. The insults. She just wanted it all to end, but she left Rachel behind, and look at where she is now. But why was Quinn at her house. What did she do to her to make her do this? She knew she needed to find out, and if Quinn did anything to her, she would be done being a pacifist, at least for the day.
Quinn couldn't comprehend her thoughts. Everything was just mangled memories. The voices from everyone she had heard that day.
No one cares about you!
Why would you care about me?
What's your location?
Rachel tried to kill herself.
Tried to kill herself.
Tried to kill herself.
"Quinn?!" She was startled from the voices in her head by Santana shaking her into consciousness.
"What?" Quinn asked groggily.
"We can see Rachel now." Quinn was out of the chair as fast as her suddenly very weak limbs would let her. After another assessment, Santana could see that Quinn looked like hell. She sighed at how completely fucked up this situation was.
"Right this way." The nurse instructed. Once they reached the door with the number 148 on it, the nurse stopped and said, "She's right in there."
Quinn turned to the 3 girls behind her, "Can I go in first, alone?"
Santana looked at Brittany and Tina before answering for them all, "Sure. Go ahead."
Quinn took a deep breath and twisted the knob on the door.
LeRoy was now furious. He couldn't believe that this idiot of a boyfriend could not only let her do this, but also have the audacity to show up at the hospital for her. He suddenly heard the door to the room close and footsteps make their way to Rachel's bed. Still facing to window, he spoke. "How could you do this to her?!"
Quinn, who was startled by the man's voice, as she did not notice him over by the window. Before she could answer, he continued.
"You have a whole lot of nerve, showing up here! You are the reason that she is in that bed!"
Quinn felt her heart get crushed all over again. She was about to defend herself, but stopped because she knew she deserve it. Quinn finally realized who it was. It had been a long time since she'd seen LeRoy Berry.
"You should have been helping her! You should have been protecting her! But you didn't. And now, you think you have the right to be here but you don't!"
He was now shouting, and Quinn couldn't help but let the tears fall.
"So, what do you have to say for yourself?!"
"I'm sorry." She choked out in a sob.
LeRoy whipped his head around so fast after hearing the voice of a woman. He was just barely able to make the girl out as Quinn Fabray before she ran out crying. He didn't understand. He thought it was Jim or whatever his name was. He ran after her, but as he got outside the hospital room, all he saw was Tina standing there watching Santana and Brittany run after Quinn. It was easy to tell that there was no way they would catch up to her.
Tina turned to him, confused, "What happened Mr. Brown?"
LeRoy rubbed his temples and walked back inside, "Come on in Tina. I think we both need to catch up on a few things."
"Where'd she go?" Brittany asked once they got outside.
Santana went around the corner of the hospital to see a crying Quinn in the fetal position. "Britt, why don't you go get Quinn some water?"
Brittany glanced at Quinn before she said, "Okay" and walked away.
Santana sat down next to Quinn and sighed. "Quinn, tell me what's going on?"
"It's my fault. It's all my fault."
Santana sighed again, "Quinn, what happened, why did you go to her house, and what do you mean it's all your fault?"
Quinn finally lifted her head, "You saw her at school, San. You saw how broken she was, I had to see her."
Santana nodded. She knew that underneath it all, Quinn cared about Rachel.
After seeing Santana's acknowledgement, Quinn continued,"When, I got there, I saw her, and I... I..." She trailed off, and returned her head to it's resting point, before letting out another sob.
Brittany was back with Quinn's water and set it down to engulf Quinn in a tight hug, which, even to her own surprise, was returned. Quinn hated being so co dependent, but right now, she needed her friends.
LeRoy sat at a very small table across from Tina, still rubbing his temples as if it would make the headache go away. Tina had just explained to him what she knew, which wasn't much. "Well what about that Hudson kid, whatever his name is. Is he around?"
Tina's eyebrows scrunched together, "You mean Finn?"
"That's his name!" LeRoy nearly shouted and snapped his fingers as he finally remembered the kids name.
Tina didn't understand, "Mr. Brown, Rachel and Finn broke up two months ago." She decided against telling him the reason why.
"What?" LeRoy was shocked. Rachel used to tell him and Hiram everything that happened at school, now he felt as if he didn't know his daughter at all. Now, he felt tears poking at his eyes. "What have I done?" he said out loud without realizing. "I've lost my husband. Now, I'm about to lose the most important thing that has ever happened to me."
Tina got up and rubbed her hand on LeRoy's back. "You haven't lost her yet."
LeRoy looked to the bed across the room and made a promise: If you would give me a second chance, I promise I will never take you for granted again. "No. Not yet."
Quinn walked slowly in the direction of room 148 with Santana and Brittany by her side. Once she reached the door, she once again asked if she could go in alone. San looked a little skeptical but Britt told her to go ahead. She walked in and saw Tina and Mr. Brown next to Rachel facing away from her.
Upon hearing the door close, he somehow knew who it was, "Tina, could you give us a minute?"
Tina seemed to think about it for a few seconds, then she began walking to the door, placing a reassuring hand on Quinn's shoulder before closing the door behind her.
LeRoy stood and turned to face Quinn. "I'm sorry about earlier. I thought you were someone else. Never the less, it didn't give me the right to blame someone else for something that I am responsible for."
Well, Quinn wasn't expecting that. "Mr. Berry, you shouldn't be sorry for anything. It's all my fault that Rachel-" she had to swallow a knot in her throat, "that Rachel tried to kill herself."
LeRoy had to do the same before saying, "No. You're the reason she's alive."
Quinn's face turned to one of confusion.
LeRoy explained, "If you hadn't found her when you did, I might not have known anything was wrong for days."
This only made Quinn more confused.
"Sit down Quinn." LeRoy said, gesturing to the seat next to his.
Quinn did so.
"My name is no longer Berry. It's Brown. Two months ago, my husband Hiram, left us."
Two months ago? Quinn thought. That's about when Tina joined the Cheerios and she and Finn broke up!
"I buried myself in work, and some days I would even sleep there. It was only today that I told Rachel I'd be sleeping here permanently.
Quinn had to think about that for a second, before remembering that LeRoy was a surgeon, and that here is where he works.
"I knew she was down ever since he left but I was still trying to get over his leaving myself. I neglected my own daughter. And if you didn't find her, she would have never made it." LeRoy turned from Rachel to the blonde next to him, "You saved my daughter's life. And for that I thank you."
Quinn wasn't sure what to say. She looked to the beautiful brunette, laying peacefully. "She wouldn't have needed saving if it wasn't for me."
LeRoy, sighing, stood up and patted Quinn's shoulder, "I'll give you a minute with her." He said on his way out the door.
Quinn grabbed Rachel's warm hand. Tears, again, made their appearance. "I'm so sorry Rachel. I should've treated you better." She said, before remembering that first day of freshman year.
Rachel was so excited for her first day of high school. She was currently looking for Quinn to see if they had any classes together. Finally spotting her best friend, she waved at her. She must not have noticed her, so she went up to her, "Hey, Quinn!"
When she received no response, she began to worry, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
Rachel will never know if Quinn was going to respond, because before she even had the chance, the sophomore cheerleader Santana interrupted their conversation... with a slushie.
Rachel felt the colored ice on her skin and in her eyes. It hurt. Badly.
But not nearly as bad as what happened next. She expected Quinn to do something. To defend her.
But she didn't.
She watched and did nothing.
Quinn pushed her head into the sheets as another sob racked her body.
"Please, come back to me."
A/N - Yay! More depression! As you may have noticed, I played with the age differences a bit. I decided to make Santana a year older than Quinn and Rachel and Brittany a year younger. Also, at this time Rachel and Quinn are Juniors in high school.
One of my friends told me they thought Pezberry fit better. When I was deciding who the pairing was gonna be, a was stuck between Faberry and Pezberry, and ultimately, I went with Faberry because I thought it fit much better and I'm happy with the decision.
Everybody vote on the side pairing, please! Even if you don't care, go and vote on random pairings. the choices are below.
Sugartie (Sugar & Artie)
Kum (Kurt & Sam)
Tyder (Tina & Ryder)
Tingar (Tina & Sugar)
Puckar (Puck & Sugar)
Tuck (Tina & Puck)
- A.J.