Kapitel Zwei.

1937.

Gilbert sat on the floor, his long legs spread out in front of him. His face was drawn into a precarious expression, unreadable to most but not to Ludwig, who watched from a close left. "Bruder," Gilbert gave a menial nod, not saying anything rather than acknowledging that he had heard the inquiry. "Can you help me with this knot?" His eyes blankly stared forward but with a grunt of good will, he blinked a few times and turned towards the now nine year old boy.

"What kind?"

"Rolling hitch," Ludwig dropped the small one inch round stick and red string in his lap and brushed his hair back in frustration. "It keeps slipping."

"Here," Gilbert took the tools and slowly looped the end twice, hooked it through and pulled it upwards. "See, it's not so hard." He handed it back and sighed. "How is your class going?"

"Alright. I'm not very good at most of the exercises though." Gilbert snickered and rolled back onto his hands.

"You're nothing like your big, dear bruder are you? I don't blame you, not everyone can be as awesome as me." He sighed and looked over his younger brother with a smile. "Mum's making me drop you off tonight on my way to group. Big mistake. I was thinking we'd visit that candy shop down the alley instead, I've got a few loose notes to spend, what do you think?"

"Skip class?" A furrowed line appeared above the younger boy's brow. "Papa would have you for that."

"What's he going to do about it?" Gilbert snorted loudly. "Might as well have some kind of fun before they ship me off to battle, yeah? They'll have my balls so tightly cupped I won't have room to even breathe."

"You think you're ready for it then?"

"For what?"

Ludwig looked over with a flat expression on his face. "For battle. You hardly act scared like you used to. I wouldn't blame you, you know." A sudden frown washed over Gilbert's usually cocky face and he took a long breath in.

"I hate when you do that," he said finally as he turned around to prod at the stoking fire. He shut the small door and shook out his paling hair.

"Do what?"

"Make sense like that. Lud, you're only nine. Why don't you try acting your age for once, you know, pretend like you still don't know what's going on. It's like you're old or somethin'."

Ludwig's small fingers unknotted Gilbert's work and he pulled the string away, preparing to try again to make better his rolling hitch. "One of us has got to do it."

"So no candy shop then?"

Ludwig smiled to himself and shook his blonde locks back into his line of sight. "No Gil, I think not."

It was six o'clock, the night sky darkened early and a light scatter of snow began to fall in the late September evening. Gilbert was still by the bedroom window, his hands were wrapped around a scarf and his eyes were dull with burdened thoughts. "You ready?" Ludwig asked from the doorway.

"Huh?" Gilbert turned around and his shoulders dropped. "Yeah, I guess." He looked over his shoulder one last time before he pulled away and tied his scarf tight around his neck. "Let's go."

"I wish they'd cancel these meetings on nights that it's snowing. It's too cold," Ludwig complained as they walked a steady pace down the road. He pulled his jacket up over his chin and breathed into his gloved hands. "I don't stand a chance at this knot work if I can't even get my hands to move." He was met with silence. Looking over, Gilbert was somewhere else mentally. He made the movements to keep walking but his face was so passive had his eyes been shut he could have been peacefully at rest. Ludwig didn't bother talking for a while more, he knew these days Gilbert spent a lot of time in his own mind. And he had learned that sometimes for Gil, this kind of accepting silence was a bigger comfort to him than any words he could have spoken. They walked for a long while like this, more than thirty minutes, and when they finally reached the edge of the town square, Gilbert came to a sudden halt.

"You don't want to skip class?" Ludwig looked up at his brother and frowned, Gilbert really wasn't going to let this go. But there was something different this time. A strange and almost pleading look behind those striking, nearly scarlet eyes of his. Something that would never be admitted, but it was nearly desperate. Gilbert didn't want to go to class, something was wrong. But Ludwig never asked. Instead he answered with a sigh.

"What if papa finds out?"

"I'll tell him it was my idea!"

Ludwig shook his head, "it is your idea." Feeling like he'd gotten the response he wanted, Gilbert lit up with a grin. "Fine, fine, but you're buying me chocolate, the dark kind."

"You were born without taste," Gilbert laughed though and clapped his hand behind the halo of snow dusted platinum hair that crowned around Ludwig. "But alright kid, you've got yourself a deal."

As they started walking again, this time toward the left side of the the square, the tension that had been flirting with Gilbert suddenly seemed to vanish. He was more talkative now, his eyes bright and his hands animated. It was refreshing. Ludwig had been quite worried for his brother these days. "Mum didn't know it but I took these notes from her dressing gown last night. We should have, hm," he looked up, calculating in his head. "At least enough for two each. We can take some home, stash it in the closet." He laughed to himself and nudged the younger boy. "I'm proud of you Lud, I didn't think you had a naughty bone in your body. I was scared you'd just snap in half you're so tightly wound."

Ludwig chose to ignore the teasing coming from his right, he looked on trying hard to hide the small smile that was tugging at his lips. Two more years, he thought to himself and suddenly the smile was gone. Two more years and they'll take you away. It was hard to not have these recurring thoughts, you couldn't walk down the street without seeing at least five different fliers about the war that had yet to be declared. What will the country become without soldiers to keep it strong? How will the children be happy without an able bodied man to serve their way into a welcoming future? It was all the same. And even though Gilbert tried hard to keep a strong facade up, Ludwig could still sometimes hear his brother crying at night when he thought the youngest was asleep. And yet, there was nothing he could do to help him. No condolences could measure up to the fate he was facing. You could die on the battlefront, but at least you've got dinner on the table tonight. No, it didn't make sense to even try. Which only made it that much harder to bear.

"Ah! There it is, come on Lud, let's go waste some money." Ludwig pulled his blue eyes up, the sign bore the title 'Adelheid's' and even from the street side he could feel the hypnotic smell of a burning fire and the pulling thought of sweets. Gilbert pulled him through the door, ignoring the small yelp of surprise that flitted from the younger's mouth. But that was all quickly forgotten as he stumbled in through the door. The lights were bright and inviting and a plethora of bright and fragrant candies blinded him momentarily. Before he could even sort his thoughts, something firm was being pushed into his hand. He blinked down, looked at the wrapper and then gaped up at his smirking brother.

"This one's too expensive, I'll pick something else."

"You sound like mum, it's fine."

"But what about you?" Ludwig's hands wrapped around the candy and he pulled it in to his chest. Truth was, he hadn't had candy for a long time. Their mother was strict about that kind of stuff and their father hadn't brought treats home now since the times had turned all complex and confusing. So it was hard to hide the glutinous approval purring in his stomach. Gilbert sank to one knee in front of Ludwig and grinned brightly.

"I'm your big bruder aren't I? If you learn anything from me, let it be to never question nothin'. When someone wants to buy you something you better damn well let them. Got that?" He mused a slender hand through Ludwig's hair and stood back up. "But that doesn't mean I'm not getting something for me, hold on." Ludwig watched his brother walk away and suddenly the overwhelming urge to cry overcame him. He hugged his chocolate closer and quickly tried to push away the emotion. He didn't want Gilbert seeing him like this, especially when he'd finally found a better mood to be in.

Ludwig let himself be swept back into the sweet lull of the shop, better to distract himself. When Gilbert finally had him stumbling over to the register, he finally felt safe of those traitorous feelings. They left the shop soon after, Ludwig holding his chocolate and three peppermint sticks. All Gilbert had gotten for himself was a small pack of cinnamon gum and a hard candy disc that tasted like cloves. There was a large sitting area, surrounded by trees and a few dim streetlights in the center of the square that they migrated to afterwards. It was cold, but the prospect of warming candy was enough to push the reality of weather aside. Ludwig pulled himself into a bench, almost instantly regretting the action for the seat of his pants were suddenly frigid, but his attention was pulled elsewhere when the light of a small flame danced in the corner of his vision. "Since when do you smoke?"

Gilbert shook out the match and dropped it, exhaling a large plume of smoke, mixed with his own breath, into the night air. "Since my soul was sold to the mighty Duetschland. Want a drag?"

"No thanks," Ludwig looked away, his stomach churning again. "Is this...is this what this is all about?" The question came tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop it and instantly, he regretted it.

"You haven't learned anything have you?" Gilbert grudgingly took another drag. "Always with these dumb questions. If it'll make you happy, sure, this is why I'm doing this. You don't understand yet," he pointed the cigarette towards the young boy. "And I hope you never do Lud. But the more I think about it and the more I hear all the shit that comes out that damn radio and-" his eyes fell for a slight second, "all the things father says, I realize, I never really had a choice. My whole purpose, can you imagine, to die fighting for a cause I don't even believe in? It's not fair"

"You're wrong." Gilbert stalled mid drag and shot a puzzling look at his brother. Ludwig took that as an opportunity to continue. "And you're dumber than I thought if you truly believe that." Before the silver haired boy could take offense and make a scene, Ludwig tore open the wrapper to his chocolate and broke a generous part off. "I know you don't like dark chocolate that much but here, it will taste good with your cigarette."

"I...uh-"

"Take it!"

"Alright,alright." Gilbert placed the end of his cigarette between his lips and gently took the piece of candy from his brother. "So if you're so smart," he said while turning over the sweet. "What is my purpose then?"

Ludwig greedily placed a large bite of chocolate in his mouth and momentarily took a moment to enjoy the savor of it. He leaned back, not caring as his back was made stiff with the cold metal of the bench, and he smiled. "Your purpose is to stay here with me and eat candy till we're sick. That's all."

Gilbert laughed and sat himself next to the young boy. "That's sounds pretty lousy actually."

"Only an adult would say something like that," Ludwig replied coyly. He couldn't help but laugh when a deeply wounded expression crossed his brother's face and Gilbert forced the candy into his mouth hungrily.

"Happy birthday Lud, you're finally into the double digits now, maybe you can finally start sleeping in your own bed again!" Gilbert laughed madly as a deep flush crossed Ludwig's cheek. It was true, he had gotten rather used to sleeping with his brother for a good while now, but to be fair, the weather was getting colder and his blankets were only getting thinner.

"Oh Gilbert, don't tease your brother on his birthday," their mother chimed in from across the room. Her tone was soft though and she gave them both a gentle smile. She had aged visibly in the last three years. Her hair, once a beautiful glowing blonde had been reduced to little more than a dull flaxen color. And her face had thinned out considerably, something that surely was the result of all the stress she put herself in these past few years. But to Ludwig, he knew she'd never stop being beautiful in his eyes. "How does it feel Mausi?" Ludwig blinked, and a small smile escaped him.

"The same as being nine, really." He looked over at Gilbert, who was busying himself with getting into the small dinner cakes Helena had spent all day working on. "Except Gil suddenly seems that much more annoying."

"I heard that, brat." Gilbert said through a guilty mouthful. He shot a playful glare towards Ludwig and the small boy giggled in delight. Everything was good today, the only thing missing was yet to walk through the door. But he shouldn't have spoken too soon for his mother stilled, maybe paled a shade or two, and she cleared her throat.

"Boys, your father is home, greet him please." She shifted her gaze over to the older boy and scowled, "and Gilbert, get out of those! You're such a wicked boy, you know that?"

Gilbert winked and closed the refrigerator. He turned on his heel and followed Ludwig down the hall. A chilling wind swept around the two of them as they opened the front door, and in a small flurry of snow, Peter stepped through with a box in hand. "My boys, good to see you! Come, come, you're letting all the hot air out." He shook his light brown hair out and handed the box to Ludwig. "For my smallest son." He turned towards Gilbert, "hang my coat, will you?" Without a word being said, Gilbert circled his father and took the coat he shrugged off. He eyed the box curiously before moving down the hall towards the closet.

"Can I open it?" Ludwig asked, looking up at his father expectantly. Peter winked, an action that was so similar to Gilbert's it was almost eerie, and he put his hand on Ludwig's shoulder.

"Of course, that's what it's for. But come to the sitting room first." Peter stepped around the boy and moved into the next room, he placed a soft hand on Helena's arm and bent low to kiss her from her seat. Ludwig placed himself back by the stove and from the corner of his eye he caught Gilbert wordlessly staring from the archway, a strange expression on his face. "Go ahead, boy." Ludwig looked down, the box looked harmless. It was heavy, but nothing of intimidating size. It was in an all white box, no bow, no ribbon. But something lurked in his stomach, something uneasy. His small fingers pried at the side and gently, he took the lid off. Gilbert gave a low throaty murmur at the contents.

"Oh, Peter..."

"What do you think, son?" Peter leaned forward in his seat, his hands clasped together and the eager look of a young boy etched into his face. Ludwig pulled from the box something cold, something hard. "It's a Luger pistol, used during the first war. Very hard to come by."

Helena's hands were drawn into tight little fists. "We cannot have this in our house, Peter, you know as well as I do, owning a firearm is strictly forbidden."

'Don't worry, it wouldn't be sitting here if it wasn't allowed," Peter brushed his hair back and his smile faltered only slightly. "It's in my name, but Ludwig is old enough to start training with something like this. Please, don't put a damper on this, look how happy he is." Truth be told though, Ludwig was far from happy. That writhing feeling in his gut had suddenly grown to be twice its size, holding this weapon, a used one that had inflicted bloodshed prior, felt heavier than a two ton stone. He wanted nothing more but to put it back into the box and simply hand it back, but instead he forced what appeared to be more like a grimace rather than a smile.

"What did you say to get that?" The room came to a sudden still as Gilbert shifted and his cold eyes were narrowed at Peter. "Not even an old Luger would be permitted to own to just anyone, you had to make some kind of claim for that." Matching his gaze, Peter stood up slowly from his seat.

"What are you implying?" The older man marched over to stand in front of Gilbert, he looked down on the boy with a smear of disdain. For a cold second Gilbert kept his mouth shut, he looked away and crossed his arms in defense. "No, no, please. Enlighten me. I'm rather interested to hear what you would have to say on this matter." Helena squirmed, her arms at the ready to leap up and Ludwig suddenly felt chilled. Gilbert was not one to dismiss such an obvious challenge, even if it had come from his own father. The smirk that fleeted across Gilbert's thin mouth was one that wouldn't be appearing again too soon.

"That you sold out your own son, again."

In that single moment Helena cried out, Ludwig dropped the box to the floor and slid out of his seat just as Peter's large hands wrapped around the front of Gilbert's shirt and forced him into the wall, a rush of breath left Gilbert's mouth. "You'll be wise to keep your damn filthy mouth shut! The nerve of you," Peter growled in close. "To even suggest that I'd bring harm to my boy!" Gilbert's slender hands came up suddenly and wrapped around his father's. He was short of breath and feeling bruised from the force of the attack, but it would hardly limit him.

"No, not at all, the Aryan conquest will bring nothing but good fortune onto him-" He was pushed once more into the wall.

"Shut your damn mouth before I teach you to never open it again!"

Gilbert grinned wickedly, his scarlet eyes were bright and wide, mad almost. "Enlighten me, father!"

The moment Peter's fist collided with Gilbert's eager face, Ludwig let out a scream. He didn't mean to, but he also didn't mean to rush at his father either. "Let him go! Stop, papa! Stop hurting him!" His tiny fisted hands beat against his father's back, as high as he could reach. But it all seemed to go unnoticed, Gilbert's face was met once again with the firm knuckles of their father. Ludwig fell back as his mother bolted forward, her own thin arms wrapping desperately around Peter's. The sudden contact seemed to bring Peter out of his fury and almost as if he had been shocked, he let go of Gilbert's shirt. "Bruder!" Ludwig scrambled to his knees and crawled to his older brother who had began to slip down the wall until he was sitting on the floor.

"Never mind, Helena, get the hell off of me!" Peter took a step back, looked down at Ludwig and then quickly turned away. "I'm leaving."

"Where are you going?" Helena's face was damp and she was shaking, but she still tried to cling to her husband. "Peter, it's snowing, please."

"Nein, just let me be," he hissed. Peter tore his arm from his wife's grip and he stole into the hallway to fetch his coat. Ludwig turned and watched his father stride forward, he forced the keys from his pockets and then, wordlessly, he left into the night. A small groan brought his attention back forward.

"That bastard," Gilbert shook his head a little bit and groaned again, tenderly touching his lip where a large split had found its place. "Gottverdammt! I hope he never comes home." Ludwig's hand reached out to rest on Gilbert's leg and the older boy gave a small smile. "Bet you won't be forgetting this birthday will ya?"

"Oh, shut up. You're bleeding."

"Here, here." Helena bent down on one knee with a damp cloth. She put it to Gilbert's face and he hissed. "Shh...you know, you shouldn't have encouraged his temper like that. You know how he is."

"A good for nothin-"

"Gilbert, dear. He's still your father." He made a begrudging sound and winced when Helena pressed too tightly. "Here," he took the rag and leaned his head back. Helena got up and unknowingly began pacing. She was worried, Peter rarely ever stole off in such a rage like he had. But maybe that wasn't the biggest problem after all, her mind was focused more on something long term. Her blue eyes darted to the floor, to the box that sat forgotten to the right of Ludwig. As much as she wished the night hadn't taken such a dangerous turn, a small part of her was relieved that the words she had been harboring inside for so long had finally been let out by someone other than herself.

"Ludwig, take your brother to the bathroom and help him clean up, will you dear?" Gilbert looked up from behind his rag, he didn't need it and she knew it, but he took one look at her face and nodded. As soon as they left the room and she heard the bathroom door close, Helena took the box from the floor and hastily made towards her room.

She would hide it somewhere not even Peter could find, just in case.