As Elliot pondered all the varied ways to tell a person that the one they loved was dead, he still could not find the energy to lift himself off her bed. He was frustrated; he'd had to tell people this kind of thing several times throughout his work, but it was so incredibly different now that it was personal. The detective was startled out of his thoughts by a warm hand against his stiff shoulder.
Looking up, he discovered the owner of the limb to be his partner, Olivia Benson.
Her soft voice was filled with empathy and he could tell she was talking through a lump in her throat, "Elliot…I'm so sorry."
He gazed into her gentle brown eyes and they both knew these three words would never be enough. If it had been anyone else, Elliot might have ripped their head off for this statement, but he understood that every word was sincere with her. Not knowing what else to do, he gripped his best friend's waist and buried himself in her stomach.
He felt the hot wetness from her eyes cascading down to his head as he fought back his own. All of the day's pressures were weighing heavily upon him.
Elliot cleared his throat just enough to tear a few gruff words from it, "I never thought…in all this time…I always worried, but never…."
Olivia lovingly smoothed down his short hair and was glad that SCU was working in the bathroom, so no one would witness their private moment, "She loved you so much, El. I mean, I know you two had been going through some rough times, but…"
He heard her trail off and the last string holding his heart in one piece broke, and with it broke his resolve. Unmanly tears soaked his partner's shirt and Elliot found himself not caring one bit. He realized now that he had been desperate for this release, and her comfort.
After minutes ticked by, Elliot began to compose himself. He took deep breaths and smiled his thanks at Olivia. She was always there, even when he didn't believe he needed her.
She returned his gesture with a watery grin of her own. There was something he had been worrying about non-stop for the last hour, "Liv, how am I supposed to tell them?"
She didn't need for him to specify who 'them' was, "I don't know." This was the most honest answer she could give. She saw that he wanted more from her though, so she paused a moment before continuing, "It'll be hard. I won't lie about it. But, we all loved her, and no one can ever replace her; they need to know that."
She locked her sympathetic gaze with Elliot's desperate one. "You'll need to keep an extra special eye out for Lizzie; she takes things the hardest. And Dickie will pretend he's too masculine to cry, but he'll secretly be torn up inside. Let him know he doesn't always have to be strong. Kathleen was the closest to her. She'll bottle all the pain inside; make a point to talk with her and don't let her become too self-destructive-"
Elliot was plainly staring at Olivia in amazement. She stopped mid-sentence and finally asked, "What?"
He didn't take his blues off her, "Y-you really do know me and my family that well, don't you?"
A little pink rose in her cheeks and she simply shrugged, "I'm your partner. It's my job to look out for you and listen."
He shook his head, "You awe me everyday."
The pink in her cheeks turned scarlet, "Go home to your family now, El. Tell them what they need to know."
He reluctantly nodded and she helped him up. He gave her one last hug, thankful for the lifting speech. Before he reached the doorway, she had one last piece of advice to impart, "Hey, El? Remember that you still have kids to raise. You will get through this. I promise."
Detective Stabler nodded and braced for the fallout. The first step was the hardest, he told himself. With that in mind, he boldly opened the front door and walked over the threshold.
Any have any guesses now as to who's dead? Review and let me know!