So here is the second chapter, there will be at least one more after this. Spoilers for the current season. Rated M for a reason. SMUT. Don't like, don't read. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Thank you for reading :D
It was really hard on Dean after Cas disappeared back to heaven with Alfie's body. Something about the whole thing rubbed him the wrong way, he knew there was more going on and wished he had the whole story. Dean knew Cas would never betray them again. He worried about Cas, a lot. He worried not only what the other angels would do to him, but what Cas might do to himself. He knew how guilty Cas felt about everything. Dean tried to distract himself, which was easy enough considering everything they had going on recently. But he never forgot to pray. He prayed to Cas every night, just like he had in Purgatory. Sometimes he just told him about his day, what stupid argument him and Sammy had gotten into. Sometimes he begged him to come home, to quit being stubborn and get his ass down there. Sometimes he told him how he knew he could hear Dean's prayers, and that he knew some serious shit was going down and that he knew Cas couldn't answer, or wouldn't answer because he was trying to protect them. Sometimes he confessed things to Cas that he couldn't otherwise say. He told Cas how he worried about him after his admission in the hotel room about returning to heaven. He even told Cas once that when he came home he'd be better about supporting the angel, like he had been in the car that time holding Cas' hand, that if Cas wanted, he could do stuff like that all time. He told Cas about the amazing burgers he made and that even though Cas didn't need to eat he was sure Cas would've loved them. Dean wasn't sure if anything he said helped Cas at all, but it helped him deal with the loss of Cas again. He promised himself he wouldn't let Cas think he was forgotten, he would pray every night, no matter what.
If Sam knew how Dean was feeling about it, he didn't say. Dean was thankful for that. The closest he came was saying Dean had people who cared about him when trying to talk him out of his 'suicide mission' as Sam called it. It wasn't that Dean felt like he had no one, but how well could it possibly turn out? He often thought about how the people he had left would probably be better off without him. If it weren't for him, none of this would've happened to Cas, right? But Sam kept on him about it after that though, little comments here and there. Mostly about how they were going to go about helping Cas when he got back, or rescuing him if he didn't. Without saying so he was trying to convince Dean that he was needed, that he was good for the people he cared about.
Then one evening Sam and Dean are sitting in the library, drinking scotch with another old record playing. Sam is doing more research, delving through the Men of Letters collection, Dean is reading a book Sam thought he'd find interesting, on angels. Dean wonders how accurate it is and wishes he could ask Cas, when he hears it. The woosh of feathers that makes his heart race and looks up to see a battered Castiel drawing a blood sigil on the wall.
"Jesus, Cas are you alright?!" Dean is up out of his chair before Sam even realizes what's going on. As he gets closer he realizes Cas is hurt, some old bruises and some new ones, like he's been beaten a lot over time, his shirt torn open revealing some pretty deep gashes. His eyes meet Dean's and the world stops. It's him, just him, nothing bizarre underneath like the last time he saw him. It's just Cas in those blue depths and it makes his chest ache with a longing he had been trying to ignore. He looks worried, panicked, but relieved, so relieved to be looking at Dean.
"Dean." He breathes, an affirmation. "I heard your prayers. Thank you. It was...difficult not giving up hope, but I managed to escape. I think one of the angels charged with guarding me felt sorry for me, he was in my garrison once. He stood by me against Raphael. I think he looked the other way when he realized I was trying to escape. I need to draw these sigils to hide this place from heaven." Dean thought it was already warded against everything that existed, but angels hadn't walked the Earth in almost 2000 years so it would make sense the Men of Letters could've over looked angel warding, besides, who would've guessed most of them were such dicks. Dean watches Cas continue to dip his fingers into a bloody gash on his chest, drawing the enochian symbols in several more places before Cas seems satisfied.
Sam tries to ask Cas what happened, only to be cut-off by Dean. "The dude just escaped heaven man, it can wait. I'm sure he'll tell us all about it later." Dean whispers this harshly at Sam, trying for quiet but Cas still hears him of course. It makes Cas smile one of his rare bright smiles. Sam sees this, he's not an idiot, and he can't help smiling too. This is just too adorable, even if Dean would hate that description of this moment, Sam can't help but think it.
After getting the place properly warded Cas lets Dean manhandle him into a chair in the kitchen, he wants to clean Cas' wounds and take a better look at them. "Dean, I'll heal eventually, but my grace is greatly depleted. I am cut off and used much of my reserves to get here." Cas is trying to reassure Dean that he will heal, but he only succeeds in making him worry more. Dean brings his first-aid supplies and kneels on the floor in front of Cas, forcing him to shrug out of his trench coat and remaining layers until he is only in his slacks. He tries not to stare as Cas shrugs out of his clothes. He's worried, why hasn't Cas healed yet?
"Are you falling Cas?" Dean asks, tentative, afraid of upsetting the angel. Sam sits on the other side of the table watching the interaction, realizing both his brother and the angel have completely forgotten about him. He smiles, he really sees it now, and he thinks they do too.
"No Dean, I will eventually be back at the level of power I was before going to heaven, but I am cut off. I will be able to do most things, but it also means I can't heal people, can't smite demons, just like when we were fighting the apocalypse." Cas catches the worried expression on Dean's face and with his fingers lifts Dean's chin forcing him to look Cas in the eye, "I'll be fine Dean, truly. Thank you for tending to my wounds." Dean nods once and begins cleaning them, turns out there aren't as many as he thought, but there are a few deep ones that need suturing. His face is battered and bruised but after Dean finishes wiping away the blood he looks a lot more like his Cas, day old stubble and all.
"I'm sorry Cas, this is gonna hurt." Cas nods once and Dean takes a deep breath. Cas is sat in the one of the wooden chairs, Dean kneeling in the vee of his legs to get close enough that he can stitch up the gashes on his chest and abdomen. Cas leans back a little, elbows on the table behind him, looking down at Dean working on him. Cas tries not to think about how close the hunter is to him, he's fairly certain it would make the situation uncomfortable if the evidence of his arousal made itself known just then, especially with Sam in the same room. He just missed Dean so much. Dean has always had this effect on him, but especially lately. He can smell the leather and fresh soap scent of the hunter and it's intoxicating, besides the fact that Dean's almost pornographic thoughts at their current position are practically broadcasting themselves at Cas doesn't help any, but he does manage to control himself well enough. Dean on the other hand is struggling. He wants to make sure he hurts Cas as little as possible. He is very aware of the lack of space between their bodies, Cas' body heat radiating through him, making the hair on his neck stand up on end. He can feel Cas' gaze on his face as he works on him, it's unnerving and he missed it desperately. The way Cas looked almost through him, like he is now, he revels in it. He hears Sam reheat a couple burgers in the microwave and place them on the table with some beer, then his brother, god bless him, leaves the room.
Dean speaks without looking up, "Sam's right, if your mojo is drained you should eat. Those burgers are awesome if I do say so myself." He hears Cas pick up one of the burgers and take a bite, and when he hears Cas' nearly orgasmic moan, he almost loses it.
"Dean, these are incredible. You're right, I probably do require sustenance right now, thank you." When Dean looks up he thinks it's about the sexiest thing he's ever seen. There's Cas looking down at him, shirt off revealing the now mostly unmarred skin over his toned torso, and he's smiling looking at Dean. He looks almost blissful eating the burger that Dean made. Dean finishes up the last few stitches on the third and worst gash just above Cas' hip and sets down his supplies on the table, his fingers linger on Cas's hip unnecessarily. Now he's just kneeling there, forearms resting on Cas' thighs, just a breath away from being pressed flush against the angel, fingers idly drawing circles on the angel's hip bone. Cas finishes the burger and picks up one of the beers. Dean watches as he tips his head back and drains almost half the contents, he is mesmerized by the way his mouth forms around the opening of the glass bottle, by the movement of his throat as he swallows. As Cas sets down the bottle, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand he looks down just time to see Dean biting his bottom lip, then reaching up for Cas.
Dean can't take it anymore, so when Cas sets down the beer bottle, he makes his move. He isn't thinking about it, he's just letting his instincts take over. He reaches for Cas, grabbing him by the back of his neck, burying his fingers into the hair on the nape of his neck and pulls their lips together. The angel's lips are soft and pliant against his, he feels Cas draw him closer with one hand in his own hair and one hand on his hip, the angel's thumb caressing his own hip bone. That's always been a spot of his, it's why his attention was drawn there on Cas. Dean thinks Cas' hip bones are sexy as hell and he loves the feel of the Cas' hand on that spot. Then Cas' tongue is slipping between his own, coaxing his mouth open. It sends a bolt of heat straight to his quickly hardening cock. He opens up for the angel and soon they are thoroughly mapping out the insides of each other's mouths, tongues caressing one another. Dean tastes the burger and beer and something else, spicy and distinctly Cas and he loves it. Now they're pressed flush together, Dean fitting snugly into the vee of his legs, Cas' own hardening length pressing into Dean's stomach. Dean feels like he can't get close enough, they begin getting desperate, and without much thought Dean hooks his arms under Cas' thighs, drawing them around his waist and standing up, he carries Cas to his bedroom. They kiss the whole way there, Dean knows he doesn't have far to go, not really giving a shit if his brother sees them. Cas is sucking on his tongue and it's about the hottest thing he's ever had done to him so there's no way he's stopping. They make it to his room and Dean kicks the door shut. He gently places Cas down on the bed, he doesn't want to hurt him, he knows Cas is still injured. Now Cas is laying there, looking up at him. The rise and fall of his chest stuttered and shallow, his chest and neck flushed, legs open obscenely. He's gazing at him again and it hits him so deeply he's struck with the sudden urge to cry. He doesn't though, he wills it down, swallowing the lump in his throat, but his emotions are so close to the surface he's sure Cas sees them, sees the awe, the arousal, and the love. He's sure Cas knows exactly what he's feeling in that moment, and he can see it all being reflected back at him. They stay that way just gazing for a moment before Dean walks toward the bed, leaning over Cas, fingers brushing lightly along his favorite spot as he reaches for Cas' belt. Eyes locked as he gently pulls his pants and underwear off in one smooth motion, glancing down as Cas lifts his hips to help Dean and Jesus does that one motion turn him on. The undulation of Cas' hips is about the sexiest thing he's ever witnessed.
After divesting Cas of the rest of his clothes Dean takes in the sight of him, and it's incredible. He rakes his eyes over the length of Cas' body, his feet, slender and attractive. His legs, long and lean like a runner, a few stray bruises, most of which are at some stage of healing. His cock, heavy and erect against his stomach, smearing precum on his toned abdomen, Dean is struck with the sudden urge to see what it tastes like, but not yet, he's going to take his time, he has to be gentle with Cas' injuries. Those hip bones, oh my god those hip bones will be the death of him. The angry gashes Dean stitched up, one just above his left hip, two further up on his chest, remind Dean of how close Cas was to never returning to him. Cas' beautiful hands, and yes he'd never admit it out loud but he has the most elegant fingers. It's not the soft, curvy body he usually sees when he has someone in his bed, it's all hard muscle and angles and he realizes it doesn't bother him at all. He's attracted to everything about Cas, his body included. Cas clears his throat and Dean looks up making eye contact. Cas looks both thoroughly amused and aroused at Dean studying him so extensively. Cas smirks, "it's your turn Dean." Cas says, gesturing at Dean's state of over-dress.
"Fair enough." Dean says, his voice having dropped, raw with both arousal and emotion. Dean slowly strips himself out of his clothes. Yes, Dean is aware he's attractive by most people's standards. He's not conceited about it, but it never much mattered to him except that it seemed to help with interviewing people, it made certain things easier. But right now, the way Cas' eyes trace his every movement, he feels like the sexiest man alive. The way Cas looks like he wants to devour every inch of him, it only turns him on even more. Now that they're both naked Dean moves with purpose toward his angel, his lover now. He straddles Cas and bends down to kiss him. They kiss deeply, learning each other's mouths, fingers in each other's hair. Dean's hovering above Cas' arousal, only fleeting contact against his own. They're starting to get desperate again, Cas undulating his hips in the delicious way, seeking contact, just barely getting it.
Dean breaks the kiss, leaning his forehead against Cas', he breathes, "I want to feel you... inside of me. Is that okay?" Dean can see the acceptance and anticipation in his eyes before he answers with, "Dean..." it sounds like sandpaper, like gravel, it sounds like sex and Cas manages to make that one word convey all of his arousal, awe, gratitude, love, and about a hundred other things at once. It strikes Dean like a physical blow and any remaining uncertainty about having Cas penetrate him is erased. Dean plants one more lingering kiss on Cas' mouth before getting up to retrieve something out of his night side table. He returns to Cas quickly and starting near his feet he kisses his way up the inside of Cas' legs. Placing open-mouthed, worshipful kisses at various places, working his way up until he gets to that spot, his favorite spot, leaving a deep bruising kiss to the dip of Cas' right hip bone, he'll avoid the other one at least until Cas is healed. Apparently this also a turn on for Cas because he moans, bucking up seeking friction he doesn't find just yet, and weaves his fingers through Dean's hair.
"Dean..." there's that word again, only more fervent this time. Dean licks one last time at that his favorite spot, then moves to lap at the underside of Cas' leaking cock. Massaging his sack with one hand, he takes hold of the base with the other. Dean licks a long slow line up the underside, paying special attention to that spot just under the head with the tip of his tongue, Dean is getting more and more turned on by the porn-worthy sounds falling from Cas' mouth.
"Dean...you are...I..."
"Yes Cas?" Dean smirks, looking at the angel who is desperately trying to keep his eyes on what Dean is doing. Dean can tell he's fighting the urge to thrust up into the heat of Dean's mouth, trying not to give into the sensation and throw his head back. Cas wants to see Dean working him with his mouth. Dean loves that he can read Cas so well, and vice versa, he loves being this in touch with someone, it is making their first time together even more incredible, none of that awkwardness that usually accompanies getting together with someone for the first time. Dean wants to see him lose control. All at once, Dean takes down his entire length until he has tears in his eyes, he's trying to keep control over his gag reflex, he wants this to blow Cas' mind. Swallowing around the head of his cock he hears it, Cas just loses it. "Fuck...Dean!" Now he never thought he'd make the angel use the F word, and shit is it satisfying. He continues working Cas' length, until Cas is fucking his mouth. It incredibly hot, but he wants more. He's greeted with the most pathetic and endearing whimper when he pulls off Cas' thick cock with a slurp.
Cas props himself up on his elbows, a confused look until he sees what Dean is doing. Dean, with knees on either side of Cas' legs, grabs for the tube he got from the drawer earlier. He slicks the lube over his own fingers and reaches behind himself, shoving first one finger in, then two. He knows he needs to really prep himself for this, he's rushing it and he knows he shouldn't but he's really fucking eager at this point.
"Dean... are you sure?"
"Fuck yeah I'm sure." Dean sounds totally wrecked, not just from what he's doing, but the look Cas has watching him.
"Spread your knees a little more Dean, I want to see you." Cas says, his voice lower than it's ever sounded before.
Dean stops, that voice making him shiver, and complies. Spreading his legs, he makes a show of working himself open for Cas. Soon, he has two fingers from each hand inside scissoring himself open, groaning, curses falling from his lips. All the while him and Cas are having one of their epic staring matches. Cas reaches down suddenly and is gripping the base of his cock hard, closing his eyes. Dean realizes though that he's not touching himself. Cas is trying to keep from coming. Watching Dean is enough to push him over the edge and he's trying to stop himself from coming. That knowledge hits Dean like a freight train.
"Jesus Cas, you're so fucking hot. I love seeing you so turned on. Fuck..."
"Shut up Dean, I'm trying to control myself and you are not helping. Give me a minute please." Cas says, taking a deep shuddering breath.
Dean continues working himself open, taking this opportunity to do it properly, slowly. In a few minutes his hole is loose and open, ready for Cas' straining cock.
Cas manages to reign himself in somewhat, but he still looks totally wrecked."Are you ready?" He asks, grabbing at Dean's hips, pulling him closer.
Dean chuckles and nods, he goes with it. He's hovering over Cas, when he feels Cas position his cock at Dean's entrance. He lowers himself slowly, carefully, savoring the feel of Cas' cock moving deeper and deeper inside himself. He feels the slight burn, the fullness, but he loves it. When he feels his ass hit Cas' thighs he releases the breath he never realized he'd been holding. When they're eyes meet, he sees Cas is just as overwhelmed by this as he is.
"What?" Dean asks, he sees Cas wants to say something.
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but you're so beautiful Dean." Cas looks almost shy saying it, but completely sincere, almost reverent.
If you told Dean Winchester that one day he would have another dude, well, a dude shaped angel, buried balls deep inside of him, telling him he was beautiful, and Dean would like it, well, he would told you you were nuts. But now, here, with Cas? Well, he feels beautiful. As corny as it sounds, Cas makes him feel like a beautiful person. He knows Cas doesn't mean it like he's a chic or something, he just means exactly what he says, beautiful, and if breaks Dean's heart a little bit, well no one could blame him. His chest swells with emotion, so he does the only thing he can think to do, he leans down and kisses Cas, throwing all of his gratitude into the kiss, trying to convey what he knows he never properly could with words.
Dean slowly lifts his hips up and impales himself on Cas' cock, beginning a slow pace. He sits up then so he can ride Cas, the new angle bringing Cas' cock in contact with his prostate and the world goes white for a second. It doesn't take long before Dean is slamming himself down onto Cas repeatedly, Cas' bruising grip on Dean's thighs keeping him grounded. Then Cas' hand is on Dean's cock, stroking him quick and rough. Their hips, no longer rhythmic, movement stuttered. They're both so close. A few more thrusts and Dean is coming harder than he has in his whole life, all over Cas' chest. The visual of Dean's orgasm and the contraction of muscle around his cock pull Cas over the edge too, and he comes with a loud groan. Dean would never say it, but he loves the feeling of Cas filling him when he comes.
Soon Dean eases himself off of Cas and lies down next to him. They lay there for a while in comfortable silence. Dean reaches over and takes Cas' hand in his own, intertwining their fingers. He doesn't look over at Cas but he feels his smile.
"I missed you." Dean says.
Cas tightens his grip on Dean's hand. "I missed you too Dean. Thank you for believing in me. For knowing that I didn't kill... didn't do that on my own. I should have been able to fight her influence to prevent that, but-"
"Cas, stop. I know you wouldn't have done that willingly. So what happened?"
Cas takes a deep breath. "Naomi, she was controlling me, she was controlling all of us I suppose. When Samandriel gave Crowley information on us, she made me kill him. She tortured me. Drove needles into my eyes, strapped me dow-"
"Jesus christ! Where is this bitch? I'll fucking kill her!" Dean spits out as he sits up.
Cas grabs him by the forearm, and when he meets Cas' eyes he stops. "I killed her. I killed another angel. But I couldn't let her live. She was willing to sacrifice the few angels remaining to protect heaven's secrets, but what would remain of heaven if I let her continue?" Dean sees the unshed tears building. He lays down and pulls Cas into his side, holding him.
"Shhhh Cas it's okay. It'll be okay. You had no choice."
"I think I require sleep now Dean. Will you stay with me?"
"Of course Cas. I'm not going anywhere."
They lay that way, Cas using Dean's chest for a pillow, legs tangled together, as they both fall asleep. Dean realizes he's happier than he ever remembers being, he smiles to himself as they drift off to sleep.