Author Notes

As always, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and David Baldacci owns The Christmas Train. I'm just having a little fun in their worlds.

Thanks to Dooba and Chris as always for their feedback and support and for Dooba helping me get this posted. Love you so much!

Enjoy the chapter.

Chapter Two

"Bella," Edward said again, louder.

Rising from the piano bench, his legs shaking till he wondered if they'd hold him, he took a tentative step toward the woman standing frozen in the door to the club car. He hardly noticed that his family had begun to rush toward him. His eyes were focused on Bella, as if he feared she'd disappear if he looked away just like a mirage. How many times in the early days after she'd left had he thought he'd seen her on the street?

"What the hell are you doing here?" Esme's voice rapped out, harsh and angry, filling the silence.

"Mom, don't."

"What do you mean, Edward? This woman, this person we all loved like one of our own. This person who broke your heart and stomped on it like she'd stomp on trash? Why shouldn't I tell her what I think? I've been waiting five years for this moment."

Edward felt an absurd urge to protect Bella from the wrath of those who had seen him at his worst, but ruthlessly, he tried to push it away. In a daze, he looked around, seeing the shock on his family's faces, the anger on Esme's and Rose, the excitement on Emmett's, the suppressed joy on Carlisle's and the utter lack of surprise on Alice's. She'd known. It hit Edward all of a sudden, like a splash of cold water in the face. Alice had known. Alice might have even planned it. And she hadn't warned him. How could she have done this? He looked back to Bella.

Looking almost frightened, Bella's glance flitted from face to face. Suddenly, she burst into tears and fled from the club car. For one instant, Edward couldn't move. Was the very sight of him enough to send her running away again? Not again, no no no no no. Without thinking, Edward raced after her. He had to get answers.

"Edward, son, wait," Esme called after him.

As he sped out of the club car, Edward heard Carlisle trying to calm Esme down.

"Let him go," Carlisle said. "Let him go. He needs this. Alice, I think you have something to tell us."

"Edward needs to hear the story first," Alice said, "and there are more people involved. Please don't pressure me right now. I promise I'll tell everybody."

That was the last Edward heard as he ran down the corridor.

"Bella, wait!"

Edward ran, panting, trying to see where she'd gone. The train was in motion, so at least he knew she couldn't have gotten off. Racing around a corner, he saw her, standing still outside a compartment door, yelling at an older man. To his surprise, Edward saw that it was Harry Clearwater, the famous producer. He skidded to a stop and listened.

"Did you know?" Bella yelled. "Harry did you know the Cullens would be on this very train?"

As Edward watched, Clearwater laid a hand on Bella's hair in an almost paternal gesture.

"Yes, Isabella, I knew. I'm tired of seeing you barely alive, going through the motions and just existing. You needed this chance, the chance to come clean, to see Edward Cullen again and get everything out in the open. Whatever happens, you'll be able to move forward after this."

"Was it all a lie? The script you wanted me to write about a cross-country train trip? Did you make that up?"

"No, it's real. I've wanted to do this for a very long time. I hired you to do the script because I like your words and the way you see things."

"Okay."

Her whisper was soft.

"I don't know how to do this," she said, louder. "I thought I was doing the right thing. How can I make this right?"

Looking over his shoulder and seeing Edward standing there, Harry smiled.

"You'll find a way, my dear. And whatever else, the boy deserves to know the truth. Come on. He's standing right over there. Go talk to him."

Harry gave her a little shove. He gave Edward a brief smile and entered a compartment farther down the corridor.

Bella turned to face Edward. Her body was trembling, he saw, and there were still tears leaking out of her eyes. Part of him wanted to run to her, to take her in his arms and kiss away her tears. He'd never been able to handle her tears. But a stronger part of him wanted to know, needed to know. He couldn't give in and try to comfort her until he'd heard whatever the so-called truth was. Standing his ground, he looked soberly at the love of his life and waited for her to speak.

"Edward, I—"she stopped for a moments, visibly gathering her courage. "Please, can we talk in my room? It's right here."

Opening the door, she motioned to Edward to enter. She sat on the edge of her bed, while Edward perched on a chair.

"It's been a long time," Edward said. "You look good."

She shrugged. He waited, but she didn't seem to be able to begin.

"What did Mr. Clearwater mean?" Edward prompted. "He claimed I deserve to know the whole truth. So, tell me, what is the whole truth. Can you possibly make sense of, make me understand why you left me in living hell for the past five years?"

Silence.

"Look, if you don't want to tell me, that's cool. I'll just leave. I'll do my best to avoid you. I'd leave the train in the next city, but Alice and jasper are getting married on this train, and it wouldn't really be fair of me to run out on my sister, would it?"

The unspoken words fell between them.

"Not like you ran out on our wedding."

Edward couldn't say it, couldn't bring himself to use those words as a weapon to slash at her. But from the devastated look on her face, he knew she heard what he didn't say.

At last, Bella raised her eyes to his. Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she began to speak.

"Before I explain anything else about what happened, I need to tell you this. Edward, I love you. I always loved you and I never did want to go experience the world like I said. I lied."

Astonished, Edward stared at her, trying to discern the truth of her declaration.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I lied. I did love you then. I loved you every day since and I still love you today. I need you to know that before I continue with the story."

She gazed at him, her eyes pleading with him to believe. Raking a hand through his hair, Edward tried to wrap his mind around it.

"Fuck, are you trying to tell me, what the hell are you trying to tell me? If you loved me so damn much, why did you tell me you wanted to leave me? Why did you drop my ring like it burned you, and why did you leave? Please, make me understand because nothing you're saying makes a bit of sense to me."

"There really was an offer from a New York paper," Bella began to tell her story.

At first, her words were slow, cautious, sounding as if they hurt physically to speak them. But as she went on, and as Edward sat silent and patient listening, her voice grew confident and her trembling stopped.

"I planned to turn it down of course. I didn't really want to go away and be without you. I was content in the life we'd planned. I was so happy."

Her voice broke a moment. Longing to reach out and take her hand, Edward clenched his hands together in his lap. He listened as Bella continued her story.

"Jake was there when I got the offer. He laughed at me when I said I was going to refuse it, and he laid out all the reasons I should accept, all the reasons I told you."

"About how you should experience life before tying yourself down?"

'Yes. I laughed at him. I told him that I didn't need to experience anything, that I had all I wanted with my job in Seattle and with you and our life together."

"And then?" Edward asked. "What did Black say to convince you?"

"He—he told me it would be better for you if I left."

"Bloody hell!"

Jumping to his feet, Edward strode the couple steps to the compartment door and back. He needed an outlet for his anger. Of course, if Black had convinced Bella she was doing the right thing for Edward, she would have done whatever she had to do. She had always been that kind of girl, selfless to a fault, to her own detriment at times. Sitting again, Edward looked at Bella. The angry bitter look was gone from his eyes now.

"Go on. What did Jake Black tell you would be the best for me?"

"He said it wasn't fair to you to hold you to our commitments. He said that guys liked to, needed to play around, sow some wild oats, date a lot of girls and get it all out of their systems, before they could really settle down. He said you'd end up resenting me down the road, when you started thinking about all you would have missed by being bound to me. He said if I really loved you, I should let you go. Guys need to screw around. He said it would sour everything you and I had built."

"Oh God," Edward said.

Covering her face with her hands, Bella burst into tears, great wrenching sobs that shook her body.

"I didn't want to believe it. I told him that you weren't like that. I said you'd never wanted that kind of life, and that you'd been the one to propose and want the early wedding. I told him how it was my fault we were waiting till you finished your residency."

Unable to resist any longer, Edward reached across the divide between them—a mere few inches in physical space, but a gulf as wide as the sea emotionally. He took her hands in his and squeezed.

"And what did he say to that, Bella?"

Neither of them missed the fact that it was the first time he'd spoken her name since he'd seen her in the club car and gasped it out in shock.

"He laughed," Bella continued. "He said that of course you'd deny it. You were the honorable sort, and you'd stick to your word no matter what. But he said part of you would always feel that you were missing all that rite of passage bullshit. He told me over and over that if I loved you enough I'd let you go for your own good."

"How could you have believed all that? After all the thousands of times I told you I love you. After I begged for our wedding and wanted to shout it to the world."

A sound of utter anguish came from Bella.

"I don't know! Edward, I don't know. I got so confused. I wanted to give you everything. If leaving you was the way to make you happy, I told myself I could live with the pain. Anything I would suffer would be better than forcing you into a life you would regret."

"If only you'd told me what he said. Jacob always wanted you. He must have done it to try to get you to break up, thinking he'd be there to comfort you. He knew how to push all your buttons."

"That's exactly why he did it," Bella said. "He told me later. When he thought I'd had time to heal he made a pass at me and talked about how good we'd be together. He told me he'd always loved me. When I answered that I still loved you and would never love anyone else, he flew off the handle."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, nothing like that. But he said after all he'd done and how hard he'd had to work to get me to leave you, how could I not want to be with him. He admitted he'd made it all up to get me to break up with you, because he knew the one thing I'd want is to do what would make you happiest. He admitted it all and laughed as he told me. He sneered, saying that I was so easy to manipulate with my way of trying to make everyone else happy before me. I—I punched him and broke his nose when he said that."

Edward smiled grimly.

"I'm proud of you for that," he said. "Bella, why didn't you find me once you knew the truth?"

Hesitating, she looked into his eyes.

"I didn't know how to find you—"

He interrupted, speaking over her.

"That's crap Bella. You knew my family's contact info as well as you knew your own. If you were worried about the reaction of Mom or Alice, you could have called Dad at the office."

"I was scared, Damn it! I didn't know how to tell you what a fool I'd been to believe Jake. You'd told me so many times that he was sneaky and manipulative. You'd warned me that he wasn't a true friend, that he'd do whatever he could to split us up. I was so embarrassed to admit the truth. I figured you'd moved on with your life anyway, and I didn't want to be the clingy hopeless ex-girlfriend who couldn't let go. Besides that, oh Edward, I was ashamed, so fucking ashamed that I'd ever believed him and that I'd broken the one thing that truly mattered in my life."

Unable to hold back any longer, Edward pulled Bella into his arms, pressing her head against his shoulder. His rage toward Jacob Black for all the damage he'd inflicted on both Bella and himself was deep, but he couldn't stay angry at her. She'd been wrong not to confide in him all that Jake had told her, to ask Edward for the truth, but now, with her in his arms, he couldn't find it in his heart to blame her any longer. His arms had been empty, aching for her, and he felt complete again, just with her touch. Her tears wet his shirt, and he ran a hand down her hair, whispering softly to her, hoping to comfort.

"Shhh, love, hush now. It's all right. All right now. You're here, and I'm here and we're together. The past doesn't matter. We'll work it out. Hush now Beautiful girl. Don't cry anymore."

For five long years, Edward had walked through life, feeling as if there was a gaping hole in his chest. At last, the hole was gone. It wasn't that it had healed; it was as if it had never been there in the first place. The bitterness with which he'd lived seemed to melt away with Bella's tears. Hope and joy began to fill him. Could she still love him just as he still loved her? Could they possibly have a future still?

"Bella?"

Raising her head, she gave him a watery tentative smile.

"Where do we go from here?" he asked. "Can we start over?"

"Do you want to?" her tone was incredulous.

"I do. I still love you. I never stopped loving you all this time. Jake was wrong. I had no desire to sow any so-called wild oats and screw every female in sight. I only ever wanted you then, and I only want you now. But I have to know you're in it forever. I can't go through all that again."

Taking his face in her hands and looking him straight in the eyes so he could see the truth in her eyes, Bella nodded.

"I want to start over too, Edward. I've never stopped loving you. When I realized how badly I'd let Jacob push all my insecurity buttons, I started seeing a counselor. She's helped me see where my self-doubt led me and how I made all the worst choices in life due to that self-doubt. I promised myself that if I ever had the chance to see you again, I'd tell you everything and do anything you'd ask to prove to you that I want you, only you forever. I love you so much. Please, can you love me again?"

"Oh, Bella. I never stopped."

Slowly, with infinite tenderness, Edward lowered his lips to hers. With that first kiss in five years, he knew he had finally come home. Bella met him kiss for kiss, eagerly pressing her body against him. He deepened the kiss, his tongue entering her mouth tangling together with hers. He cried. She cried. Their tears mingled together washing away the agony of being apart. When Edward pressed her down on her bed, Bella did not object. She looked at him with all the love and longing in her eyes and nodded.

"Please, make love to me," she whispered, pulling him down on top of her. "I need to feel you."

Taking his time, wanting to savor every second of it, Edward removed Bella's clothes. He stood back, gazing at her body. It was even more beautiful than he remembered. His skin still flawless, her breasts just full enough enough, her stomach flat, legs toned. He knelt beside her on the small bed and ran his hands over her body. He took each nipple in his mouth one at a time, sucking them to peaks and reveling in Bella's moans of pleasure. He stroked her soft skin, his desire for her growing till it was almost unbearable. Had he ever been so hard before?

Sliding one finger inside her, he groaned at the hot wetness he found there. He kissed his way down her body till he reached her clit and began to bring her to the brink of climax with his mouth. She pressed herself up to meet him, clutching at his hair.

"Please!" she panted.

"What do you want, Bella?"

"Let me see you. Let me touch you."

Removing his clothes much faster than he'd done hers, Edward joined her on the bed. This time it was she who explored. Hands and mouth kissing and nibbling down his body till she reached his hard length and took him in her mouth.

"Oh, fuck, oh baby, that's so damn good."

Edward hardly knew what he was saying. Afraid he wouldn't be able to last and that he'd come in her mouth, Edward gently pulled himself from her.

"I want to be inside you," he said. "May I make love to you now?"

"Yes."

"Are you ready for me?"

"I've been ready for five years."

He chuckled.

"Me too, Baby, me too."

Kneeling between her legs, Edward looked at her. She lay flushed and smiling, her hair spread out over the pillow, her chest rising and falling with her panting breaths.

"I love you Isabella Swan, and I always will."

With those words, he entered her. Her warmth made him gasp. It was familiar and unfamiliar, and it felt so incredible that he wished he could just stay there forever. She wrapped her legs around him, trying to push him in deeper, and he began to move, thrusting slowly at first, building speed with each time he moved.

"You feel so damn good," he said. "You're still so hot and tight. I wanna make you come. I wanna make you know you're mine and you always will be mine."

'Yes, please, oh Edward please."

Edward knew he wouldn't last long, not now that he was inside is Bella. Reaching between their bodies, Edward found her clit and began to rub it.

"Come on, baby. I can't hold out. Come for me."

She cried out, wordless cries of pleasure as her body tightened around him and she came, causing him to come, exploding in her, crying out her name.

Afterward, they lay, tangled together, sweaty and sated.

"Mmmm," Bella said, "that was wonderful."

"Indeed it was. Thank you, Bella."

"For what?"

"For loving me, for telling me, for being here, being you, the same beautiful girl I've loved all my life."

"I'm not quite the same, you know. I'm older, wiser hopefully, but I know the past had changed me."

"Me too, of course. But you're still my Bella, and that's all that matters."

"Yes, I am, I'm still your Bella."

"I don't want to move, but I think we'd better get up and face the music."

"Does your family hate me?" she asked.

He touched her face, smiling.

"They were angry for a long time, Bella, I won't lie about that. But all they've ever wanted is for me to be happy. When they hear the truth, when they know what happened, they won't be angry anymore. Don't be afraid. And you know what?"

"What?"

She smiled, tracing his chest with a finger.

"I don't care what they think. I've been miserable for so long, and now that I have you again, I'm going to be happy. I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks about it."

"You know, Charlie defended you all the time. He told me I was making a mistake by not talking to you. It nearly ended his friendship with Billy because he knew Jake was feeding me a bunch of bullshit. But I wouldn't listen. I'll bet he had a hand in this reunion."

Edward laughed.

"I bet he did too. And I know my sister did. She's been smiling secretly since I boarded the train. You know how she gets when she's up to something?"

With a breathless giggle, Bella nodded.

"Well, that's how she's been all evening. And she was the only one who didn't look one little bit surprised to see you."

"I've missed Alice. It will be good to see them all again. Are she and Jasper really getting married on the train?"

"Crazy isn't it? Yeah, they're getting married."

"Wow."

For a while longer they lay together, speaking little, just basking in the feeling of their bodies touching.

"I want to love you again," Edward finally said, "but it's nearly midnight, and I know they're all still up waiting to hear something. Let's get up and go deal with it, and then, if you want, we can have the rest of the night just for us."

"I do want that."

"Me too."

Kissing her quickly, Edward rose from the bed.

They washed quickly and dressed. Then, hand in hand, because Edward needed to keep touching her, they left the compartment, heading back to the club car and his very anxious eager for details family.