EPOV
I looked up at her
She was radiate
Glowing ever so softly
Pregnancy agreed with her
She was looking at Jacob with so much love that I felt the need to look away
I couldn't help but to think of how she use to look at me that way
He was looking at her in the exact same manor, his thoughts reflecting the love and adoration he held for her
I use to think those things about her, look that way at her every time she entered the room
What went wrong?
I know I left, but I left because, I was just so angry
Angry at myself
Angry at my family
Angry at her
Though she didn't deserve it
I just couldn't control it!
I had never felt that angry in all of my existence.
She bore the brute of my anger
I only felt better when she was in pain
Because she just stood there and took it
To afraid of me leaving to leave me
She was such an easy target
That the monster within me took joy in her cowardice
In the fact she did nothing
Said nothing
Hid the bruises so well
She even took my insults to heart,
I never meant any of them
But I received sheer pleasure in her becoming
More withdrawn
Listening to my every order and demand
It was nice to have someone to bend,
To break
To make feel like I did every tortuous moment of this damned existence that I lived
I needed her to see
To understand what I went through every day
So she would not want this
So she wouldn't want me
But she never got it
Even when I started to become violent
She never got that I was a monster
Inside and out
I finally just couldn't take it anymore
I was hurting the only girl I've ever loved
And was enjoying it
I was sick and I was afraid
I didn't want to lose her
But I didn't want to keep her
If I kept her she would only continue her quest into a
Lifeless
Loveless
Angry existence
And I couldn't and would not have that
Looking at her and Jacob's loving embrace
I realized that this is exactly where she was suppose to be
She supposed to loved
Cherished
Beautiful
Pregnant
And aging gracefully
Not forever eighteen and resisting the urge to kill every waking moment of her existence
I'm glad I left her
Though my pain has increased without her
I knew without a doubt this was the best choice
I looked into her sparkling brown eyes and smiled
She had found her true happiness
And I was glad that she had it
Even if it wasn't with me.
A/N: Ok so there you have it! Edward's reasoning behind everything. Hope you enjoyed =) R&R