Hello ^_^ This is my very first Kyman fanfic that I'm actually dedicated to. Kyman is honestly the only reason I go on anyways xD
I've been inspired recently by music and the ending scene of "It's a Jersey Thing" Best Kyman scene I've seen in a long time 3
Anywho, Each chapter is going to written based on a different Kyman song (yes i have a Kyman playlist on my ipod...lol) and the chapters will change POVs from Kyle to Cartman as well.
Also...Idk if I'll have to change the rating eventually...but...I can't read/write a good Kyman fanfic without the sex D:
And...I really hate Ke$ha...but this song seemed to fit really well for a first chapter...

Disgusting
Ke$ha

FML.

Yeah, it's that fucking bad.

Kyle banged his head against his computer desk a few times, not like that helped his headeache in any way, he'd just have to wake up in the morning to the source of his problems anyways.

What? Cartman's fault? What makes you think that?

NO FUCKING SHIT IT'S CARTMAN'S FAULT.

Cartman had found it funny to spread rumors around school that Kyle was gay. He had literally gone as far as to steal an old English paper of his and doodle (in Kyle's handwriting..., yes Cartman was a master at forgery) a heart with the words "Kyle + Stan." He even brought a flourescent lime green dildo to school claiming he found it while sneaking into Kyle's house (Kyle was pretty damn sure that the dildo actually belonged to Cartman's whore of a mother). It didn't help that thanks to the fat bastards manipulative powers he was able to convince their entire junior class that he was right, using examples such as how Kyle's never taken an interest to dating other high school girls, he's always preaching his gay little speeches, and is constantly PMSing due to all the sand stuck up his vagina. Kyle obviously broke a gasket and elbowed that asshole in the ribs with his bony elbow, which in turn, caused Cartman to play the whole "innocent" act and limp away to the nurses office so he could skip a few periods. Whereas, Kyle got a nice after school detention and got to return home afterwards greeted by an extremely pissed off Sheila Broflovski who had recieved a phone call from the school about the incident. So Kyle was yelled at and smacked across the face by his beloved mother and sent to his room to work on a fuck load of homework until 3 am, get 3 hours of sleep, and face his worst nightmare at the bus stop again.

Kyle sighed and rested his head on his arms on top of his open lap top. Unfortunately, Cartman WAS correct about one of his fibs...

Kyle Broflovski WAS in fact gay...but not for Stan. That emo pussy was too depressed about his breakup with the rebelling Wendy Testaburger who had dumped Stan for Cartman for god knows why.

Kyle grumbled to himself, closed his eyes, and rested his forehead against the palms of his hands.

~It's Disgusting.

Cartman...dammit why couldn't that fatass just leave his head alone! He already tormented the poor jew enough at school let alone his own thoughts! Ok well, Cartman couldn't be considered "fat" anymore...it was just a habit Kyle refused to drop. Cartman unfortunately had had time on his side had grown into his body so he was now a staggering 6 feet tall and had well toned muscles from the Karate classes he took. He still had some pudge here and there, but it somehow suited him and Kyle could never imagine a skinny Eric Cartman; the boy who probably ate powdered doughnut pancake surprise everyday for breakfast.

Kyle on the other hand was skinny and had stopped growing at a measly 5'5. He was cursed with his mom's height and his dad's weight. The roles had been switched and instead of Kyle being the one to make the bastard child cry like when they were in elementary school, it was Kyle who was now physically challenged.

"Gah...stop thinking about him god dammit...," Kyle facepalmed himself after realizing he still had Cartman's hot body sketched into his mind.

But seriously...HOW THE FUCK could the short tempered jew who's despised Cartman for years, fall for the sadistic neo nazi who's only caused Kyle pain and misery throughout the years?

~It's Disgusting.

Kyle could have tried to ignore the feelings bottled up inside him, but every attempt had failed miserably. Kyle couldn't help going back to him, hanging out with him,...loving him. Even after the damn bastard had given him AIDS, tried to exterminate the Jews, and chased Kyle across the U.S. just so he could have his balls sucked. The Hebrew boy was never capableof just saying "fuck it," and never speaking to the mother fucking asshole again.

~My heart booms at the speed of light.

But the exit signs always on my mind, always in my sight.

I can say that I really want to stay.

But the devil inside always wins the fight, always gets his way.

Kyle was pissed off at himself for it.

The way the nazi slowly drawled out his name sent chills down the jews spine. "Kaaaaaaahl..."

A death wish in the ear caused a blush to creep across the jews cheeks.

And a heated argument caused the jew to go hard...

~It's Disgusing, how I love you.

God, I hate me, I could kill you.

Cause you're messing up my name.

Gotta walk my talk my fame, but I just want to touch your face.

It's disgusting, how you changed me.

From a bandit to a baby.

Thinking about gotta change my name.

If I'm gonna walk this walk of shame.

Look at what you do to me.

It's Disgusting.

Why did it have to be Eric Theodore Cartman that made him feel this way? Honestly he wished he had fallen for Stan instead, Kenny even...hell, even Butters! But Kyle didn't dare reveal his sexuality to his classmates, it would give Cartman even more pleasure at knowing he was right about Kyle. Knowing him, he would even probably go from calling Kyle "jew" to "jew fag." And besides, even if the Jew eventually did unveil his forbidden love for the racist Nazi, it would be pointless since he claimed to be straight. Kyle honestly couldn't see how Cartman could be straight though, after all, he DID stick Butters dick in his mouth, danced with a cutout of Justin Timberlake while dressed up a Britney Spears, and hosted tea parties with his stuffed animals when he was younger. But even so...Cartman had Wendy and there was no point in persuing a relationship with a guy who's sole goal in life was to taste the sweet tears of his favorite Jew toy.

"God dammit...," Kyle murmured to himself. Well one thing was certain, Kyle HAD to get a girlfriend so he wouldn't cause anymore suspicion of being gay and to stop getting stupid "ohlawdhesgonnarapeme" stares from all the guys in class.

"Well...I guess it's about time I accept Bebe's request..." Kyle peered down at his homework then slammed his lap top shut. "Fuck it," Kyle said in a monotone voice, and with that he turned off the light and layed in his bed, a restless night ahead.

ACK! I HOPE YOU LIKED IT! O_ -tweeking out-
The next chapter will be Cartman's POV
I'm going to try to update a chapter every weekend since school work, my job, my laziness, and my writers block usually prevent me from writing during the week.
PLEASE R & R! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE ANONYMOUS OR WHAT. YOU RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH AND REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. I'M SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS, SERIOUSLY.
And is there anyone else who thought that Mysterion was gonna be Kyle...? Or at least that Kyle was covering for the real Mysterion/took over?