Chapter 2

In Which Bakura is Very Mean to the Dursleys

/Sweet Ra…what is this horrible place?/

/I belive it is called the suburbs, Yami./

/It's so…so…uniform!/

/I know Yami./

Yami Bakura glared at Privet Drive as if the street had somehow greatly offended him. Robot hissed and launched himself into the air, circling the area. He was searching for any Death Eater activity. Not finding anything dangerous, the little dragon landed back on his "masters" shoulder and growled. Dumbledore grinned and used a silvery thing to put out the streetlight.

The headmaster walked up the driveway to number four and rang the bell. Bakura kept to his side, keeping an eye out for anything he could kill or maim, or at least terrorize, with half an excuse.

"Who the blazes is calling at this time of night?" A blustery voice bellowed from inside the house.

The door opened and Yami Bakura raised an eyebrow.

/Light…is that a human or a walrus crossed with a hog?/ While both of them had seen the Dursleys from a distance a while back, it was quite a different thing to see the huge mound of fat right in front of your face. Normally, Yami Bakura would have just shoved past, but he did not think even he could lift that huge pile of blubber.

Heck, it would have given Gorneel trouble, and he was a dragon!

Dumbledore smiled "Good evening. You must be Mr. Dursley. I daresay Harry has told you we would be coming for him?"

The man…or walrushog, glared and turned a nasty shade of purple. Yami Bakura scowled right back and growled. He was losing patience. With a sneer he approached Dursley and said "Move."

The man grew even purple. "You can't barge in here in the dead of night, you little freak!"

At once a very sharp knife was aimed at the fat man's nose "Do not test me, fool. I don't want to have to clean this blade twitch in one day."

"Now, now, Bakura. NO need to be so forceful." Dumbledore said, as if he was discussing evening tea "Judging by Mr. Dursley's stunned disbelief, Harry did not warn him that we were coming. However," he smiled pleasantly at Dursley "let us assume that you have invited us warmly into your house. It is unwise to linger overlong on doorsteps in these troubled times." Somehow, with his own brand of natural magic, Dumbledore managed to…not exactly shove his way in, but he did have the air of someone would not be denied.

Bakura kept glaring at Dursley, as if he was still contemplating sudden death. There was just something about this man that made the yami want to kill something. He was aware that Dumbledore was saying something about the potted plants, but the yami did not care.

He had mischief on his mind.

However, something Dumbledore said must have irritated Dursley, because Yami Bakura was suddenly aware of him saying "I don't mean to be rude—" but the words were said in such a way that guaranteed rudeness so much that Yami Bakura felt it was a good idea to shut the man up by giving off his trademark evil laugh.

"WHAT IS SO FUNNY?" Dursley bellowed.

Yami Bakura smirked and folded his arms "A fat pig dressed in his pajamas pretending he has manners."

Dursley looked ready to lunge at Yami Bakura, but from somewhere behind him a voice squeaked "Please no, the neighbors will wake up!"

Yami Bakura craned his head to stare at a tall thin, horse like women and another fat person, younger then his father but actually larger.

That was scary.

The spirit laughed again and said "Oh yeees, must make sure the bloody NEIGHBORS don't know that you have a THREE WIZARDS IN THE HOUSE!" Sadistically the yami leaned outside to shout that last part out into the street. As if to help his caretaker, Robot also leaned out and let out a dragonic shriek that was sure to be heard.

Dumbledore gave the yami a mournful look. Perhaps bringing him along had been a mistake. "Bakura, why don't you check the house to make sure your shouting did not attract anyone…unwanted." He said in a gentle yet firm tone.

He was a bit surprised that the yami agreed, and rather quickly. Then it occurred to the headmaster that Yami Bakura might be planning something mean. However, it would at least distract him from committing mass murder right here and now. And Dumbledore still needed to talk to Harry.

So while Dumbledore escorted everyone else, including a sleeping and slightly poleaxed Harry (he had not expected to see Yami Bakura here), said evil spirit got free range of the house.

As he walked down the hallways Bakura made sure to pilfer a small crystal knickknack, a small marble figurine, a jade figure of a cat, and a couple of small silver spoons. All of that had been on display, but the items were small enough to fit in his pockets, and they would not be missed until the group was long gone. He also encouraged Robot to defecate in the local potted plants…though that might have been a favor due to the magical properties of dragon dung. Entering the kitchen, the yami stuck a few magical firecrackers that would light up when wet deep in the sink. He rummaged through the cupboards and found Dudley's secrete stash of snacks, which he snatched. Robot found some boxes of cookies and nibbled on each one of them. Deciding he needed to answer natures call once more, the dragon found the Dursley's orange juice and added to the content.

/You two are just plain mean./ Bakura said with an affectionate sigh.

/If anyone deservers this more then Umbitch it's these lardarses./ Yami Bakura retorted. Bakura could not say anything to that. Facts were facts after all.

They ambled back to where Dumbledore was talking to Harry and the Dursleys. Harry was saying something about finishing up packing.

"Ah, Bakura, why don't you go help Harry pack?" Dumbledore said pleasantly.

"Hmp, patrol the house, help pack, anything else you want to put on me, old man?" the spirit growled as he followed Harry.

Harry could not take it any more "What are you DOING here?" he asked. "Aren't you supposed to be in Japan? How did you get here?"

"I'm helping Dumbledore. Yes, I am supposed to be in Japan, and I will be going back today. I've been using the Shadows to travel here and back."

"Oh…how?"

Yami Bakura shrugged. "You just briefly enter the Shadow Realm and travel through it to your destination. It requires a lot of concentration and determination, and it is slower then Apperation, but it is undetectable from the Ministry. I plan to come here at least once a week."

"Why?"

"Because the Death Eaters have somehow learned to use the Shadows. They are summoning monsters and taking souls, probably at Zorc's and Voldemort's command."

Harry cursed as he started to pack the rest of his stuff, with Bakura's help. His yami had refused to do "slave work", and had let his light do the packing.

Harry, who had kinda learned to tell the difference between light and dark, looked at Bakura and said "Could I learn that shadow traveling thing?"

Bakura shrugged "Well, like my yami said it is very difficult. In fact I can't do it at all. It's my yami who does the work. He's just so much better at this dark and evil stuff then I am." Bakura grinned 'And besides that, you know what my yami thinks of your learning skills."

Harry sighed and turned to the window "I know Bakura. I was stupid. I should have listened to your yami…and because I did not Sirius" Harry seemed to choke on his words, but swallowed and continued "I've been practicing with the Ankh, and with my Lycanthrope. I will not let anything like the Ministry fight happen again!" The boy's voice was filled with such venom that Bakura wondered if the boy had his own secrete yami. Harry's eyes were stony and hard, and for a moment Bakura could see why the Sorting Hat might had thought to put him in Slytherin. "Next time will be different!" Harry said.

Bakura nodded.

Finally they were finished and ready to go, especially Harry. At first Yami Bakura was going to leave the Dursleys in relative peace, but Dumbledore mentioned something about the Dursleys treatment of their own son. Yami Bakura waited till the other two wizards were out the door before he turned to Dudley and pointed at him. The porky boy shrank back and moaned.

"You seem to think you did this little baby a favor by treating him like a king. Let me tell you what the old man meant. Your son is a spoiled, pampered little bully that has not idea of what real life is like. You have turned him into a disgusting leech of a human that could do nothing but suck the life out of all he meets."

"Now see here!" Dursley stood up "You think you can tell us what to do just because you have that stick-"

"I know what I am talking about through experience, you fat pig." Yami Bakura snarled "One of these days you will not be here, and then what will your precious little piggy prince do? The rest of the world does not coddle people, and it will not coddle your piglet once you are gone!"

"How dare you threaten my family!"

"Bah! Idiot! You will see one day, and it will be too late." Yami Bakura turned around, and then said. "Of course, I could be wrong," he smirked over his shoulder "He could always end up with diabetes." Yami Bakura slammed the door and went to join Dumbledore and Harry.

A/N: I apologize to anyone with diabetes for Yami Bakura's last remark. But you cannot deny that when you look at Dudley you cannot help but think "diabetes". I don't own Harry Potter or Yugioh.