Chapter 2
The Furry Torpedo
"There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes"
(Ralph Waldo Emerson – American essayist, lecturer, and poet)
James West didn't know what to expect at the end of the long drive. The carriage began to slow and he jumped down, before he could be seen. He was near some bushes and decided to hide behind them until he could get his bearings. The bushes were at the side of a large house and he was able to remain hidden whilst watching the Senator being unloaded, and carried into the building, by the light coming from a side door. He knew he had to gain access to the house while it was still dark outside. He waited until the carriage was driven away and once he was alone, crept around to the back of the house. The only light was coming from the basement and he guessed that was most likely where the Senator had been taken. Deciding that the safest thing to do would be to enter the house via the ground floor, West tried one of the windows and, finding it unlocked, eased it open and climbed noiselessly inside. He found himself in a library, surrounded by shelves of books. Negotiating his way across the room, in the dark, West reached the door and opened it a crack to peek into the hallway beyond. Everywhere was quiet. He decided to look for an entrance to the basement and began investigating the ground floor doors one by one, careful not to give his presence away.
He saw a feint light coming from under one of the doors and had just opened it, to what turned out to be the kitchen, when he heard a growling, followed by a loud series of barks. Out of nowhere a furry torpedo launched itself at him and grabbed the leg of his pyjamas. West tried to shake the creature off and, in the process, overbalanced, tripped over a table-leg, and cracked his head on the stone floor. As the room around him dissolved, he thought he saw a figure enter the room. His last thought was 'oh no, it couldn't be...'
When West came to, he was in the basement he had been searching for, locked in a cell, with iron bars on two sides. Two of the missing Senators were in the cells opposite his, the third was in the cell next door. They were obviously under the influence of a sedative. At one end of the room was a door leading to an inner room where activity could be heard going on. He gingerly felt the back of his skull. He didn't know how long he had been unconscious but it was time for a hard lump to have formed.
While he was pondering his situation, two henchmen entered the basement, via a set of concrete steps, and approached him with guns drawn.
"Hi, fellas," West said.
Ignoring him, one of them unlocked his cell door and motioned with his gun.
"You're coming with us," he said, "and don't try any tricks!"
West silently exited the cell and left the basement, sandwiched between the two men. He put all thoughts of escape out of his mind; he still had a lot of work to do.
Eventually, they arrived at a set of double doors which opened into a richly-furnished drawing room.
"Please be seated, Mr West," said a familiar voice, from behind one of the wing-chairs.
"Dr Miguelito Loveless," West said, as the diminutive figure revealed itself, laughing whole-heartedly. "I see you're full of yourself, as usual," West added.
"Ah, but Mr West, you must admit that it is amusing when one goes out for catfish and finds a shark is caught in one's net." He was still laughing. "I'm sorry you were injured in the process," he added, mock-sincerely.
"You needn't worry about me," West said, glancing around the room.
"Looking for your erstwhile antagonist?" Loveless asked. "I've sent him out into the garden. I apologise for his behaviour but he seems to have taken a dislike to your odd manner of dress. I do hope you were working undercover in the lunatic asylum and that your wits haven't completely deserted you," he added with glee.
"Much as I'm enjoying getting reacquainted, I hope you'll get to the point and tell me what it is you're up to this time."
"Perhaps I don't intend to tell you."
"I very much doubt that."
"Well, as a matter of fact, on this occasion, you are quite correct. I do intend to tell you. You'll be amazed and impressed."
"I'll try not to become too emotional," West said.
Dr Loveless laughed louder than ever. "Oh, Mr West, if only you knew how difficult that's going to be," he said cryptically.
West gave him a puzzled look. What did the little Doctor have in store for him this time?
"I have successfully driven three Senators insane and kidnapped them as part of my master plan. I will send them back to Washington having, to all intents and purposes, been cured. That is when they will attack and kill the President of these United States, the Vice-President and the Secretary of State. Now what do you think of that?"
"I think you are the one who is insane and you're going to fail as usual," West said, "but, tell me, how you think you're going to achieve all this?"
"If you cast your mind back, you will remember a little drug I concocted that gave you hallucinations," Dr Loveless began.
West felt the blood drain from his face.
Dr Loveless noticed. "Ah, you remember how I tricked you into thinking you'd killed your best friend, Artemus Gordon," he taunted. "You must admit it was a master-stroke on my part."
"You don't change, do you, Loveless?"
"Dr Loveless to you and, actually I have changed, so there, Mr 'know-it-all' James West. I no longer want to use it to destroy the population of the world. That, I admit, was rather ambitious. However, with a little tinkering, the drug can now be used to drive people mad, but not violently so. Once I have control of them I can make them do whatever I want."
"How, by hypnosis?"
Dr Loveless scowled. "I will be open-minded enough to forgive you for thinking I would use such base methods, Mr West. After all, what are you but an ex-soldier, a tool of the government, trained to follow orders? You can't possibly be expected to have the breadth and depth of imagination that I, as a genius, possess."
West bowed slightly, acknowledging the hit with a wry smile.
"However, because of your crass assumption, I refuse to tell you any more of my plan," Loveless said crossly.
"I'm desolated," West said, "does that mean I can go?"
"My men will escort you back to your accommodation."
Not long after he had been returned to his cell, the door opened and a man bought him some clean clothes, including underwear. West put them on, glad to be out of the pyjamas and, for once, grateful to Loveless. Soon he was dressed in black twill trousers, tucked into knee-length leather boots, a white shirt, and a black corduroy waistcoat with silver buttons. He remembered to tear the explosive button from his pyjamas and put it in his pocket.
West was just beginning to realise how hungry he was when the two men from that morning returned and opened the cell door again.
"You're invited to eat lunch with the Doctor," one of them said. "Come with us!"
West went with them willingly. He was hoping to find out how Loveless was going to persuade the Senators to commit murder for him.
In the dining room Loveless was already seated at the head of the table. The furry torpedo of the previous night was sitting at the Doctor's feet. West could now see that it was a brown and white, smooth-coated, Jack Russell terrier. Thankfully, he was happy that West was no threat, now he had dispensed with the pyjamas, and paid him no attention.
"Ah, Mr West, I see you are properly dressed at last. Please sit down and tuck in," Loveless said, picking up a chicken leg, from a plate in front of him, and beginning to chew on it.
"Well, Mr West," Loveless continued, giving a piece of meat to the Jack Russell. "After our last conversation, I expect you are bursting with curiosity still."
"I'm just about managing to contain myself," West said.
"Tut! Tut! I know you're joking. That's why I'm going to take you on a tour of my laboratory after lunch."
The two men became aware of a commotion going on in the hallway. Suddenly the door burst open and a well-dressed male in his forties burst into their presence, brushing off the man trying to hold him back.
"I am a representative of the ASPCA and I will not be prevented from carrying out my duty," he said. "I have been told there is a dog here that may be in need of rescue..." His voice trailed off as he took in the sight of Dr Miguelito Loveless, sitting at the table.
"Do come in, Mr Gordon, and join us for lunch," Loveless said.
Gordon turned to see that one of the Doctor's henchmen was pointing a gun at him; he sat down, throwing his hat on the table. "I knew I should have used a more elaborate disguise," he said, in disgust. "How are you, Jim? I see you're dressed again."
"Oh, I'm just fine," West replied. "I had to change clothes; the dog took exception to my pyjamas."
Gordon gave him a strange sideways look, decided it wasn't worth pursuing, and turned to Doctor Loveless. "So what happens next?" he asked.
"Next, Mr Gordon, you will join me and Mr West on our tour of my laboratory. You turned up just in time."
"Lucky me!"
"Yes, you are lucky, Mr Gordon. You will be privileged to see a genius at work."
"Surely, you're more of a mastermind."
"Or an egghead," West chipped in.
"Stop this! You will pay for slighting me."
"Let's just get on with it," West said, standing up.
"All right, Gentlemen, let's go," Loveless said, heading for the door. The two henchmen motioned to the agents to follow him and brought up the rear.
The laboratory turned out to be the room at one end of the basement that West had seen earlier. When they entered there was a young, dark-haired woman, in a white coat, working at one of the benches. Loveless approached her.
"How are things going, my dear?" he asked.
The woman turned and displayed the bluest eyes West had ever seen, hidden behind a pair of eye-glasses. "Everything's ready, Doctor Loveless," she said.
"Let me introduce my assistant, Miss Octavia Brewer. Miss Brewer, these gentlemen are Mr James West and Mr Artemus Gordon." The two men bowed their heads in turn.
"Pleased to meet you," Octavia said.
"Likewise," said Gordon.
"Charmed," added West.
"Miss Brewer has been helping me perfect my new serums," Loveless said. He pointed to a row of coloured bottles on the bench in front of them. "With them I am capable of arousing emotions in my subjects." He pointed to each bottle in turn. "Blue is for love, red for bravery, purple for hate, yellow for cowardice ,and black brings on madness; you've seen the results of that one.
"You're absolutely crazy," West said.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, Mr West, but names will never hurt me. Many geniuses over the centuries have been labelled as 'crazy'. I have a limerick for you.
There once was an agent named West,
With Loveless he shouldn't have messed.
To think with brute force,
he'd defeat me, – Of course,
Of the two of us, I was the best."
Loveless laughed long and loudly at his own wit. At the same time, the two henchmen caught West and Gordon by surprise and hit them on the head from behind. West went down, instantly unconscious. Gordon just had time to murmur "Surely, that should be 'better' not 'best'," before he succumbed.
Loveless scowled at him. "I have had enough of both of you," he said, kicking the unconscious Gordon in the ribs. "Take them to their cell and restrain them!"
When the two agents came round they were on cots in the cell West had previously occupied. Both of them were cuffed to the frame at hands and feet.
Dr Loveless and Miss Brewer were in the cell with them.
"The senators were to be the first to test my emotion-changing serums but as you have been kind enough to join us, not to say barged your way in here, I have decided that you will be my guinea pigs instead," Loveless said, with a wide grin. "Octavia, will you do the honours?"
Miss Brewer wheeled a trolley into the cell and picked up a filled hypodermic needle. She stepped forward and injected West in the arm. She then went back to the trolley and fetched a second needle, with which she injected Gordon.
"At first, you will feel disoriented. Don't worry. Although the effects may be extreme they are harmless."
The Doctor and his assistant left, the Doctor laughing hysterically.
The two men turned their heads to look at each other, disquiet in their eyes. They hadn't been able to see what colour serum had been injected into them but they knew it wasn't going to be good.