Huge thanks to Morrowsong and AmbroseSaysNope (epic win) for leaving a review and taking the time to read it. Also a huge thanks to AmbroseSaysNope for letting me bounce ideas off her. I always value our talks. Also want to thank OrtonsWifey2 for following.

Natalie Landry

Jessa surprised me by coming home with me when the tapings wrapped for the week. Together with her sister Kari, the three of us flew back to British Columbia. Kari's boyfriend Kevin was waiting for Kari to arrive when we landed at the airport. We all said our goodbyes and Kari and Kevin left together while Jessa and I went and retrieved my car. It's less than a twenty minute drive to my place from the Kelowna airport, and we drove back to my place blaring Spice Girls and nineties pop the entire way. While Jessa is a huge metal fan, she's got a soft spot for the music that she grew up with. It's always fun to see Jessa cut loose. She still remembers the dance to "Stop" by heart and I got a full demonstration in the car. I would have joined in, but someone had to drive.

It's been two days since she spent her birthday at a Chicago hospital with Randy Orton. She hasn't talked about it, but the imprint of exhaustion and crisis is still written all over her face. I've only asked her if she's heard from him since leaving him at the hospital and she confessed that she hadn't, to both our surprises. Every now and then I see her checking her phone, and I'm wondering if she's waiting for him to send her a message. The web around Randy and Jessa is so complicated that I feel like my head would explode if I tried to understand their dynamic.

A few weeks ago, Jessa let Shane take her out for dinner and a night on the town. The two of them aren't saying a word about it; the only reason I know about it is because I booked the reservation and picked out the flowers for him to give her. Jessa knows it was a pity date, and Shane admitted it to me; since her ugly split from Brock Lesnar, she hasn't even attempted to date someone. I don't think she's ready to move on yet; she won't even speak his name. Shane hoped that one date would get her back out there, but Jessa isn't talking about anything. As her best friend, I know better than to pry for her feelings. Jessa can clam up if she feels pushed.

"I seriously can't believe that you missed your own birthday party," I told her for what had to be the fifth or sixth time. Shane had been fuming, but he knew Jessa wasn't the type to leave somebody injured and in need of help. I approached the kitchen table holding a mug in each hand. Jessa bypassed the pack of marshmallows on the table and went for the canister of whipped cream. I sat down across from her, putting a mug in front of her. She proceeded to drown the hot chocolate in whipped cream.

"Yeah. Shane won't let me hear the end of it," Jessa said with a roll of her eyes and took a sip of her cocoa. "I couldn't just leave him. You should have seen him – he was bleeding half to death." I nodded, sympathetic. No matter how much turmoil Randy causes Jessa, I know that she would never leave him to suffer for any reason. Even if it was Callie in his spot, Jessa would still get her help. She has a heart and a conscience, compassion and empathy. Jessa sighed. "As it is, I feel terrible for leaving him at the hospital without a ride back to the arena. I left him some money for a cab, and he said he understood, but I haven't heard from him. He's probably mad, but I really had to get to the next town. I put it off as long as I could."

"How many stitches did it take to close him?"

"All together? Seventeen. Three in the eyebrow, six for a wound in the back of the head I didn't catch and eleven in his forehead. They decided to keep him overnight for observation because there was so much blood involved. My rental looked like a crime scene. I cleaned it up as best I could before I returned it, but I couldn't get all of it out. I didn't even think about getting a towel." She reached out and grabbed a red velvet cupcake from the plastic container on the table. My cooking and baking skills still need a lot of work, so a stop at the bakery had to suffice. The cupcakes are kind of a makeshift birthday cake for Jessa. John has been trying to teach me how to cook, but it's like watching two idiots try and invent the wheel. Like me, John isn't much of a cook, but unlike me, he hasn't poisoned anybody. He can make things from scratch. I pitched the idea of taking a cooking class together, but John says he's too busy for that. It's disappointing, but true; he's the hardest working guy I know.

"That's rough," I offered. She nodded.

"I feel terrible for leaving him behind. I don't even know why, but I do."

It's because she's in love with him. I know better than to say that to her, though. Throwing that in her face would be signing my own death warrant. Instead, I sipped my hot chocolate and kept my face sympathetic. "I'm sure he understands, Jess." She didn't look convinced and I know it's because he hasn't been in contact. There's this weird underlying sexual tension between the two of them, something love/hate. The hate is from her end. She bit into her cupcake.

"I'll probably just stay the night tonight. I'm going to go see Mom tomorrow before going back on the road. If I'm out here and I don't see her...well, you know how she gets." I nodded. Jessa has tried to get her mother to come out for things like WrestleMania, to watch her perform. Her mother always promises she would, but at the last minute there's always an excuse. In the beginning, there were flight tickets purchased and Jess was left holding the bag on them. So now her mother promises to come out and Jess doesn't buy the tickets because she knows. But if Jessa doesn't show up when she's in the area, she never hears the end of it.

"I do. Don't even worry about it." She took another sip, looking around my kitchen. Her eyes fell on the picture of John and I hanging on the wall, taken at WrestleMania 21 after he had just won his first WWE Championship.

"How are things with you and John?" she asked.

"Good. I mean, he's been busy, but we're trying to make some time for a vacation...we've been talking about...you know..." I felt myself blush. Jessa's face took on a look of surprise that she muted quickly.

"Seriously? I figured you two were bumping uglies already."

"Jess!" I had to laugh, but I absolutely hate it when she calls it that. She's aware that I hate it, too, which is why she uses it. "Have I ever told you that you're awful?"

"Not today, but I've heard it. From you and a few others," she admitted with a smirk while she sipped her drink.

"You really thought...?"

"No! I don't think about it. It's none of my business. But it's been like a year. I figured it was just a formality." She shrugged and took a sip of her hot chocolate. "I don't need any step by step details."

"We tried a few months back, but I freaked out."

"Oh, God, I've been there," Jessa said, flushing red and clapping a hand over her face. "It sucks, Nat, but it's not that bad. I mean, it's awkward and invasive and uncomfortable, but it's not what our parents told us." I laughed; my mother told me it was like being split in two. Jessa's mother told her the same thing, but it wasn't much of a deterrent; after all, Jessa risks broken bones and concussions on a nightly basis. She shrugged. "It was a little rough. There were no bells ringing and birds singing like in your little romance books. I found myself waiting for it to be over the whole time. I'm told it gets better, but I haven't had it that much."

I felt bad for asking. The memories of her time with Brock were written all over her face. I put my hand over hers. "I'm sorry..."

"It's fine. It is what it is." She laughed, but the guilt had taken up residence in the pit of my stomach. "You'll find out that our parents probably told us all sorts of stupid bullshit to keep us in line." She mustered a short laugh as she reached for another cupcake. "I'd smuggle this shit over the border if I could. These cupcakes are amazing."

"I know."

"We should call Bell and see if she wants to go to the movies tonight. I've been dying to see Sin City. It looks so cool." Jessa bit into the cupcake, her eyes almost rolling into the back of her head again. I had to stifle a giggle.

"We totally should. We haven't had a girl's night in forever!" I told her. Standing, I went into the living room to send Sabella a text message. She's notorious for not answering her phone – or her voice mail messages. Text messages are always the best way to go about contacting her. It was a few minutes before the phone vibrated with her response. I let my eyes scan her message. "She's actually not here. She went home with Kurt this week."

"Crazy." Jessa shook her head. While she doesn't disapprove of their relationship, she's apprehensive because of the way Kurt behaved last year. I can't say that I blame her; he had hurt Sabella deeply. She had gone off the deep end and left her entire life behind, and then suddenly the two of them are together. It's strange, but Jessa is letting Sabella and Kurt sort their own relationship out. She knows better than to interfere. "Dinner before the movie?" she pitched.

"Dinner sounds good. I'm actually excited. This is going to be fun." It was only seven or eight months ago that we all used to stay at Jessa's penthouse. Life really got in the way of things, and nobody noticed until it happened. Relationships revived, destroyed, kindled and rekindled. Weddings, breakups, infighting. It's funny how things just pass by in the blink of an eye and nobody notices until it's too late. Jessa is the only one of us single now, and it hasn't stopped Bell from trying to set her up with people. Before getting together with Kurt, Sabella tried reconnecting with an old flame, but it didn't work.

I thought about Rene and Adriana's upcoming wedding. Ever since Rene proposed, Adriana has been up to her elbows in wedding plans. She's a stickler for detail, and I know she's going to analyze every single detail to a painful degree. The little stuff is going to get as much concern as the big stuff. Adriana's cousin Brenda, myself and Jessa are bridesmaids for the event, while Sabella is the Maid of Honor. I have no idea when we're all supposed to get together and find the dresses, but I'm sure Adriana has a plan. "It's crazy. Adriana's the first one of us to get married."

"I know. It's so weird. I'm excited, though. Weddings can be fun," Jessa said, adding more whipped cream to her cocoa.

"Are you going to ask Randy to come to the wedding with you?" I asked. She shot me a look.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't ask me that."

"He'd go with you if you asked."

"Natalie, don't push me." She was laughing. Looking into her mug, she let out a breath. There's a part of her that's still hurting greatly, a part of her that's still pining for Brock. Some way, somehow, we're going to find a way to break the hold he still seems to have on her. He doesn't deserve this much power over her. He's made no contact with her since leaving the company at Survivor Series. Nobody expected him to; they were through, and he rode off into the sunset with Sable. Jessa was left behind to pick up the pieces,