2. PROLOGUE: Butterfly

From now on, the butterfly breaks.

Colours were running around as in water flowing. They were everywhere—right to left, front to back, above to below. They mixed with one another and created endless saturated palette. Moving leisurely, they painted one huge, vibrant butterfly.

The butterfly stayed still, but it looked so full of energy. The colours kept moving to every directions while maintaining their high saturation. It was such a pleasure to the eyes.

However, the beauty had to come to an end. A drop of dull green tinged the tip of the butterfly's antenna. The obscurity traced to its head, and then spreaded everywhere like a crack. For one second, the butterfly was consumed by bright purplish pink and emerald green. In the next flicker, everything was broken, plunged into dark, unidentified void.

The void was as empty as his eyes. Spacing out, Jung Hoseok recalled that dream of his the other night. Dreams had never meant a significant thing to him, but the dancer remembered it like he was still there.

It was getting late in the afternoon, towards evening, and Plug In Music Academy was no longer as busy. But Hoseok had his own things to do that day. Accompanied by the silent lights, mirrors, and speakers, he waited in the academy's dance room, sitting still on the parquet floor, back leaning on clean white wall. He initially planned to save his energy thinking he had practiced to midnight the day before, but he ended up spacing out due to lack of sleep.

Hoseok shook his head, then fixed his swarthy hair using his svelte fingers. His hair had already gotten pretty long; he would have to cut it soon. Trying to get his focus, he stuffed his ears with earphones and turned on his mini MP3 player, hoping to listen to some undergroud tracks or his dance songs.

The second the beat started, he recognized the song right away. It was "Solo" by Dynamic Duo.

He hesitated for a moment. Staring at the MP3 player blankly, his other hand's fingers tapped his bag in an anxious attitude. The song held some quite important memories to him, but it was not the time to be reminded of his broken love life and be all sentimental over her. He brought himself to press next, and a mellow song played.

Hoseok's mind wandered, but not due to the music he was listening. He tried to convince himself. He recently quitted being JYP Entertainment's trainee, which took lots of his courage. He had spent days contemplating at home under his blanket and feeling trailing restlessness with no end. He finally decided to move on and went for Big Hit Entertainment.

That was the reason why he was here. He was supposed to have the audition the day, in his academy, in the very room.

The dancer's stomach felt queasy as nervousness piled up. Uncertain future often got him really worried. Feeling the presence of sweat under his long white t-shirt, he stood up and walked towards the air conditioner beside the door. He raised his head, sensing the cool air flowing through his face. He wished the air could bring all his doubts away, out to the door, and be vanished for good.

"Tch," Hoseok mumbled aimlessly, fanning himself, "just what are you thinking, Jung Hoseok?"

A rap song pierced through his ears. It was the song he planned to dance to. He fell silent, then smiled almost invisibly and stated to himself, good things will come soon.

His eyes turned to gaze at his right side, the mirror. He looked at his own figure. He saw a man in loose clothes; the upper was white and the lower was red. He knew this man well. The man could dance, yet was anxious. He was usually hopeful, but life hit him. He chuckled at the thought and did a bit popping to the beat, eyes checking how he moved from the mirror. He took a short break just to catch his do-rag in the bag and wear it neatly around his head. If he were to dance with all his might, the item is a must. He put his MP3 player in his pocket and continued his dancing with aptitude.

Not nearly five minutes later, the brown door was opened. Hoseok jumped, almost tripped. Weren't he near the door, he might have been ignorant and continued enjoying himself shamelessly.

His coach, a middle-aged and happy man, came in. After making sure that his student was in the room, he let a woman with a camera and tripod in.

"This is Jung Hoseok, or Smile Hoya should I say," His coach introduced, followed by Hoseok's polite smile, "he's the one who will be auditioned."

"Nice to meet you," said the woman, shaking hands with Hoseok. "I am one of Big Hit's audition team staff. We have considered your background and experiences in dancing, which is why we would like to audition you right away."

Hoseok bit his sudden grin and nodded.

"We currently have this hip-hop group named Bulletproof. This group was supposed to debut this year, but it needs to be delayed due to a format change on the group. If you are accepted in this audition, you will be put into that group, undergo some trainings, and most likely have your debut next year."

Hoseok felt excitement pumping in his veins and fantasies about future popping in his head. He tried his best to calm down.

"For the audition, you are tasked to record your dance with this camera."

Hoseok took the camera handed to him with both hands and asked, "Is there any qualifications for the dance?"

"There isn't. Please do what you are good at."

A confident smile was etched to Hoseok's face. He thanked the staff who then went out, and turned on the music right away.

~ ᶋ ~

The sky was dyed dark blue and the sun was nowhere to be seen. Day had turned night. Street lights were ignited in every corner in Gwangju. Some places were closing, and schools should have been closed at such time, but Hoseok delayed his.

Two and a half hours had passed already.

Hoseok's coach sighed. How come was his student so diligent, while he himself could get tired just by watching? This student of his was very capable in dancing, even was accepted to JYP, and pretty obviously he could get through Big Hit without giving such a large amount of efforts. Yet, Hoseok was still all perfectionistic and kept redoing the recording.

The song ended again, and Hoseok approached the camera to stop it. His coach felt the need to say something.

"Hoseok, are you not done yet?"

The student wiped his streaming sweat. He gave a pause before answering, "No. I think the ending wasn't smooth enough." He picked up his towel and rubbed his neck thoroughly.

The coach let out another sigh. "It's been more than two hours."

Hoseok was surprised. "Really? I thought I have only recorded, like, five times."

"Yes, you have." The older man stood, approached the camera, and took it off the tripod. "Let this be the last one. I'll hold this for you. Look, I think you've done great, but the workers want to go home too, you know. You're not the only one tired here."

Hoseok threw his towel and checked his appearance. "I'm not tired," He said, then turned to his coach.

That's not the point, the coach wanted to say, but he chuckled instead. "Okay, let's start. Don't forget that the screen is limited from the speaker on the floor to that door. Try not to move too much from there."

Hoseok nodded. His coach started the music and the camera.

~ ᶋ ~

Time passed by in a flash.

It felt like Hoseok had just done his audition days ago, but it was already two months. It felt so short with all the practice he had done everyday, the lessons from academy he took, the moments spent with his family, and his inner frustrations piling up. It felt like it was just yesterday when his mother comforted him with her warm voice, "Cheer up, you may meet the best people not in the best company," even though he knew that she was disappointed in him. But there it was, the letter from Big Hit Entertainment sitting prettily in his mailbox.

Just as the expressive and cheerful he always had been, Hoseok was hysterical. He rushed inside his house, calling for his mother and sister, screaming as if he had already been accepted.

But it was fine, since he was actually accepted to Big Hit. To Bulletproof. To Bangtan.

Even though it wasn't his first time being accepted as a trainee, he was just as panicked. He packed right away that night, since the letter stated that he would be living in Bangtan's dorm. He read the letter multiple times. He couldn't get the hype out of himself. He kept whooping merrily. He had gained his parents' consent, so he would definitely leave for Seoul the first thing tomorrow—or probably after a touching farewell with his family.

It would be the start of one major change in Jung Hoseok's life.

~ ᶋ ~

That night, Hoseok dreamed of the butterfly again. The exact same. It got him awaken with an internal jolt early at dawn. He was anxious for a moment, but as reality flew into his awareness, his excitement took over his body.

It was morning, but the sun wasn't so bright. Hoseok took a look outside the window to see that snowfall was taking place. Snow usually did make him lethargic, but not that day.

It was Christmas Eve, and the station was crowded yet lively. His parents sent him off. The son left with a smile and a promise that he would succeed.

On train, he had almost fallen asleep when his phone vibrated. It was a message from his friends congratulating him and looking forward to his debut, to which he grinned. Minutes later, there were messages from his coaches too. The news spreaded fast. Hoseok decided to reply to them all later.

Arriving in Seoul, he took a taxi, assuming that the driver would know where the agency was. They were lost a bit, but fortunately got to the headquarter safely in the end.

Jung Hoseok, a street dancer from Gwangju, looking all innocent and fresh, was ready to initiate his trainee life.

He had never gone there before, and he didn't know the idols under the company's management really well either. Walking up the stairs, the greenhorn pushed the glass door, entering Big Hit Entertainment's building half shyly. He was asked whether there was anything he wanted to be helped with, and he said he was told to come, showing his audition letter. Then, he was made to wait for the development team staff to come.

It was still eight in the morning. An hour later, one of the development team staff came to him and explained all the trainings he would be having. He was also told that the group was initially planned to be a hip-hop group with no dance, but the producer had changed the format again so that they would include dancing. Hoseok was expected to help the other trainees in this field, since none of them had a background in dancing. Hoseok dampened his lips in slight insecurity, but gave a calm smile.

"So, that's all for your schedule. I see that you are ready to move here, so let's get you to the dorm. We haven't notified them, but they have already known that another trainee is joining. The manager will guide you there. Please wait a bit."

Hoseok thanked the staff with a smile, and the staff asked the receptionist to call the manager. Some minutes later, a man bigger, older than him came to him after asking the receptionist.

"Are you the new trainee from Gwangju?" The man asked.

"Yes," Hoseok said, smiling politely, trying to look professional.

"It's pleasantly surprising that you came here right away. What's your name?"

"Jung Hoseok."

"I'm Song Hobeom, Bangtan's manager," Hoseok shook hands with him. "From now on, you'll be living in the dorm and have trainings everyday. Do you have anything that goes against the schedule?"

"Not much."

"That's a relief," Hobeom said. "Now, let's get to the dorm. It's really near, actually."

The dorm indeed was near, probably less than ten minutes walking. Hoseok gazed upward seeing the building. He was amazed for seconds before he followed his to-be manager climbing the stairs.

"This is the place," Hobeom told him, inserting the key and opening the door. "We haven't duplicated the key yet and I can't give you mine, so I hope you don't mind sharing with the others' for some time."

"Yeah, sure."

Upon entering the dorm, they were welcomed with a rack of shoes alongside with slight smell. Some shoes were messily laid on the floor.

"They had a late practice yesterday, so I guess they haven't cleaned the dorm," Hobeom explained. "I'm not sure that they're awake either, but just go in. I have left them a text. I still have works to do in agency, so I'll go back now. Don't go outside too much, and follow the schedule given to you."

"Thank you, Hobeom-ssi," Hoseok gave another smile, this time a little stiff.

The manager left. Hoseok gulped, stepping through the unilluminated hallway, eyes curious and wary. The trainees were the reason why he had left JYP. The people just did not suit his personality and preferences, and it gave him pressure. Also, walking in the living place of the people he hadn't known yet, and they weren't even awake, isn't it kind of impolite?

But, Hoseok had no way out either. He didn't have the dorm's key.

He entered the main room as quietly as possible, rolling his suitcase really slowly. The room wasn't heated very well, so Hoseok decided to keep his jacket put on. In the main room, there were pieces of garments hung tidily—fortunately they didn't smell—before the white-curtained window, some figurine and manga collections on shelves, a small television on the corner beside it, and a couch in the middle.

In the midst of his little observation, the dancer was startled to the sound of door opening. He put his gaze towards his right, thinking it might be from the door over there. But it wasn't.

Hoseok immediately looked to front. He froze.

Less than ten feet in front of him, a pale-skinned man, shorter than Hoseok was, walked out of what seemed to be a bathroom. Barely dressed. Only undergarment.

How could Hoseok fail to notice the blue door over there in his left side?

Water was dripping from the undergarmented man's chin and hairtips. His body was slender, not built, matched his white skin. His eyes were sharp, filled with gloom, piercing through Hoseok's. His small lips moved slowly.

"Who are you?"

The voice was strangely composed, low, and very much virile.

Blood went up Hoseok's face. His face was uncontrolled, eyebrows narrowing and lips pursed slightly. He felt completely numb.

"I-I'm," Hoseok muttered in shock, "Jung … Hoseok."

The other man's face darkened. Hoseok's face flushed. The man walked to take his towel hung near the window and rubbed his face.

Having sudden realization, Hoseok stated, "N-new trainee. I'm the new trainee."

The cold man stopped and stared at Hoseok. His gaze was less annoyed, more sleepy, in Hoseok's opinion.

"Oh."

With that, Hoseok was left alone in the room, statued and flustered.

~ ᶋ ~

The man Hoseok met half naked woke everyone up. They all walked out of the bedroom after a while. The first one to approach and greet him pleasantly was this tough-looking, manly man, and Hoseok spontaneously assumed that he was the oldest.

"Welcome," The man said with a grin. "Sorry we had to greet you this way. We're almost dead from the practice," He laughed at this, and Hoseok gave a friendly laugh too. "I'm Jung Hunchul, nineteen. I was chosen as the group leader."

"Woah, that's cool," Hoseok exclaimed, half surprised that the man was younger than he thought. "I'm Jung Hoseok. Seventeen."

"Wait, aren't you from Gwangju? I came from there, too. And, you're Jung too?"

Hoseok laughed, clapping his hands once. Hunchul took Hoseok's hand and did a chest bump. "Welcome, mate. I finally can speak Jeolla with someone here. They all are mostly from Seoul, you know."

"Yeah, thank you, leader." Hoseok grinned.

Hunchul looked around and saw Hoseok's suitcase. "Oh! You haven't unpacked your stuffs?" He turned to the man who woke him up. "Yoongi, you didn't tell him?"

Yoongi. Hoseok noted the name.

"He literally just came," The so-called Yoongi answered reluctantly, "I was just done taking bath."

"Hold on, did you welcome him with boxers?" Hunchul laughed amusedly. Yoongi ignored him and went in the bedroom. "Ah, poor you, Hoseokie. Don't mind him, he is usually that shameless. You'll get used to him."

A stiff smile passed across Hoseok's face. "Well, yeah. The manager left me here with no dorm key, so it's not his fault."

"Hobeom-ssi? Well, just stick to us, then." Hunchul patted Hoseok's back. "Ah, I need to pack my things too. I'm going home for Christmas today." He glanced at Hoseok. "Come to think of it, why did you come at Christmas Eve?"

Hoseok was a little dumbfounded. "Uhm, I think I couldn't contain myself when receiving the letter."

Hunchul gave a friendly laugh again, which Hoseok found quite similar to his own's.

While he was arranging his clothes with Hunchul, he heard some noise from the living room. Hoseok turned his head and peeked in curiosity.

"Must be our hyung," Hunchul mumbled. "Ikje-hyung probably just returned. He had a part-time work early."

Before Hoseok could question further, the talked man approached. "Hey! Must be the new trainee. Is it another dongsaeng?"

"Yeah," Hunchul was the one to reply, "He is Jung Hoseok. Don't be too loud, will ya, hyung? You're ruining our images."

The older simpered. "Don't worry. He's going to live with us, anyway."

"Yeah, no worries, I like this kind of attitude. Makes me relieved," Hoseok stated, grinning widely.

Ikje raised his palm in an attempt to do a high five with Hoseok, which the latter welcomed. "Yo, I'm Ikje. I'm twenty four, so, must be your hyung, eh?"

Hoseok shook hands with him. "Yeah. I'm Hoseok, seventeen."

"Ow, we got another '94 liner. Your two fellows are there," He pointed his thumb behind, "Namjoonie and Donghyukie. Think you're gonna get along well with them. Well then, I'm gonna have some sleep. Nice to meet you!"

Hoseok smiled shyly, dimples showing, and resumed arranging his clothings.

The practice started at one that day. They had their lunch together at a homey-atmosphered restaurant near the dorm. Looking around the streets, Hoseok assumed that their dorm's location was pretty good. There were minimarkets, restaurants, department store, and drugstore near. After munching lunch, they sent Hunchul off the cab. They wouldn't have enough time to send him off in the station. Hoseok was a bit disappointed that the most easygoing one was going home faster than the others.

As for the company, there wasn't much that could be expected.

Hoseok was partly a naive dreamer, and despite his expectations and the Big Hit building being small, he was quite contented with the facility provided. Sure he could not compare it to JYP, but all that mattered to him was the practice room. It was smaller than the one his academy had, but JYP's was pretty much of that size, too. Well, he didn't mind at all.

The staffs weren't many, but they all were nice and friendly. Hoseok was pretty sure that he would be comfortable working in this environment, but yes, he had not known them well yet. Hoseok hoped they turned out being basically as nice as he thought they were.

Being in a whole new environment rather made Hoseok want to blend in socially. So, he always tried his best befriending everyone.

However, before this person, he hesitated.

Yoongi. That hyung was a super silent person; Hoseok had never seen one being so expert in quietness. He was silent eating, bidding goodbye, and practising. In the silentness, his aura changed constantly. Sometimes Hoseok glanced at him and saw a boy, but at other times, he would see a sad man. And if their eyes met, the boy became unreadable; building up a thick wall.

Hoseok had a wide curiosity, but he was reluctant to the idea of approaching right on, so he guessed he would just take his time.

The trainees started the practice with turning on some music and rapping, waiting for the coach to come. Each of them was very talented in rapping, even though Hoseok didn't know much about the field. He praised them all sincerely, you sound like professional!, you guys are so amazing!, and so much others. Indeed, he felt separated due to his inability in rapping, but he could feel their humbleness when they kept saying, no, we have a long way to go!, you have a really decent talent yourself!, and especially all their gasps and are you a robot?s when Hoseok started popping.

"You all should practise dancing! We all are going to dance hip-hop, right?" Hoseok asked.

Namjoon groaned. "Since the start of this thing, seriously, I think I have never reached a thing!"

They all laughed. Hoseok patted Namjoon's shoulder. "It won't be hard, really. Just strengthen the basics and it would be all you need. Here. This is how you pop." Hoseok did a popping with his wrist, to which Namjoon groaned in frustration again.

"Damn, this friend," Ikje said. "How did the company get him? Now we need to be as good as him! Or we'll be pieces of trash on stage beside him."

"Why are you so good, seriously?" Donghyuk punched Hoseok's shoulder, laughing kindly.

"You know, they told me to help you guys on this, so be prepared." Hoseok grinned. "What do you guys do usually, though? I think I have really lots of practices to go. I have never really done anything besides dancing."

"We make music too," Donghyuk replied eagerly to this. "I'm pretty sure it would be our group's specialty. We're not some groups performing their company's prepared pieces. We'll be making our own music under the company's instructions."

Hoseok exclaimed, "Yaah, so cool. I need to learn from you all."

"I think Donghyuk and Yoongi are the ones most into composing, though," Ikje put his arms around Yoongi's neck, "and this friend's a genius on it."

Yoongi chuckled awkwardly and said nothing, seeming visibly displeased at skinship. But Hoseok could tell that the former was a bit—if not partly—flattered.

They started the practice on the arrival of their coach. Hoseok sat down before the wall on the rap lessons and joined when composing lessons rose. The practice was much more pressuring than he thought they would be. Expectations were weighed on their shoulders, it was teeming. Even on the dance practice, he still felt pressured, even though not as much as the others did.

They had a break in the evening for dinner. The staffs had ordered food for them. Come to think of it, Hoseok might need to start his diet soon, but he refused to think about restricting his eating habits yet.

He sat himself beside Donghyuk. Out of everyone, in Hoseok's eyes, Donghyuk was the most shy and kind one, and it made him want to approach him.

"Hey," Hoseok accosted, "tired?"

Donghyuk smiled. "I'm the one to ask you that. We're already pretty used to the schedule, but I don't know whether you do."

"Thanks, I'm fine," Hoseok drank his water.

"That's good to hear," Donghyuk opened his bottle. "But, too early. We're going to continue to midnight."

Hoseok choked on his drink, at which Donghyuk chuckled after making sure the former was safe.

"By the way," Donghyuk said in a smaller voice, leaning in Hoseok's direction, "don't be surprised, but I think Yoongi-hyung has been looking at you all the time."

This time, Hoseok choked on his saliva. Donghyuk muttered a sorry. Hoseok turned his head in search of the hyung, but failed and gave up soon.

"Don't worry about it, though. I was saying in case you noticed it," The same-age mate smiled, so friendly. "He put very much attention to the group and the members. He's probably just … in the process of getting to know you."

"Ah, thank you," Hoseok said, "I thought I kept feeling nervous, so this is why." He laughed.

Donghyuk laughed too. As if reading Hoseok's mind, he said, "That hyung has always been like that."

Hoseok might need to rethink his perception on Donghyuk.

~ ᶋ ~

The first day was over, and Hoseok couldn't bring himself to sleep.

It was late at night, and Hoseok couldn't sleep in the midst of adaptation. Practice sure had beaten him to exhaustion, but his mind was restless nevertheless. They slept in a small room consisting of three bunk beds and a window. Hoseok got a top bunk bed at the furthest from the door. He felt a bit insecure being in a higher place, but he didn't want to be a nuisance since that was what was left for him.

Namjoon, Yoongi, and Donghyuk were still in Big Hit after the late practice, but Hoseok had heard Namjoon and Donghyuk returning to the dorm and going to bed. Still struggling to sleep, Hoseok climbed down his bed and went out of the room with blanket in hand. With hands trembled in protest to cold air, he walked to the kitchen to hydrate himself with some warm water. Before numbness crawled its way to his limbs, he curled himself in the living room with blanket tucked inside out.

Somehow, Hoseok found a bit more comfort there. Probably out of the brighter and larger room, or being alone.

It was when Hoseok was about to be lost in his dream that Yoongi returned to the dorm.

Hoseok was unaware of it, being half-asleep and feeling so heavy. He was oblivious to the presence of warmth approaching him. He was ignorant to the pair of eyes staring, observing his smallest gesture in sleep. He didn't see the puff of warm breath exhaled in front of him and the tiny lips parted in initiation of speaking.

"Hey," A pause. "Go sleep in the room."

The voice was deep, again. But soft. So soft it warmed something deep inside Hoseok, making him mildly relieved.

Hoseok opened his eyes. He had heard it clearly, but took his time replying. He rubbed his eyes.

"It's okay," Hoseok said, cushioned, "it's comfy here."

Yoongi was still staring. "You could catch a cold."

"I'm scared of heights," Hoseok was unaware he said this.

"You can use mine. It's a bottom one."

It took a minute for Hoseok to proceed the words. He widened his eyes slightly, gazing up to Yoongi's unreadable face.

Then, he realized that the man stood in front of him was not a cold person.

Hoseok grimaced and said, "Thank you…, Min Yoongi."

~ ᶋ ~

After two days, finally, Bang PD-nim would see Hoseok.

It was a day after Christmas—after the company had closed its building for a day and Hoseok had been left unaccompanied by the sorry trainees since morning. The pointed-nosed man found being trapped in the dorm with snow and no other livings made him feeling wasted, so he decided to take practice on his own starting the day after.

When he came to Big Hit in early afternoon, a staff approached him.

"Jung Hoseok? What a good timing. The CEO would like to see you."

The dancer could only froze and asked belatedly for guidance to the CEO's room. He climbed the stairs tailling the staff, slow thump of his shoes tugging his chest. Standing before the door, he looked up the ceiling unpurposedly, feeling nausea twirling his stomach. When he was about to reach the doorknob, a voice saved him.

"Oh, Hoseok?"

Hoseok jolted a bit and turned to his right at the familiar voice. His sight met a tall man with stiff contour and thick lips. "Namjoon?"

The staff told Namjoon to join Hoseok, and Hoseok welcomed him with open arms.

"I thought you're returning home until new year like the others?" Hoseok asked, but sounding way too relieved.

Namjoon's eyes stared at Hoseok, then quickly shifted to the floor. "No, I just felt like coming over. Ilsan is not far, anyway."

Hoseok noticed that Namjoon probably was not really one to make eye contact with new people.

"Okay, now let's go in. Ah, I'm so nervous," Hoseok laughed, apprehension thick in his tone.

Namjoon gave a small awkward laugh. "I know, right. Let's just face it."

Namjoon was the one who knocked and opened the door. Hoseok entered while rather hiding himself behind Namjoon. The room was warm and well-heated, yet Hoseok nearly shivered just by the sight of the man sitting behind the desk.

"Sit down," Bang Shihyuk told them.

The two trainees did as told, as politely as possible.

Bang Shihyuk leaned on his chair, taking turns staring at Namjoon and Hoseok right in the eyes. Hoseok couldn't help gulping, but he smiled, albeit ungainly.

"Namjoon, is he the one from Gwangju?"

The one asked nodded firmly.

"Where are the others?"

"They're back home for Christmas and new year."

The CEO sighed, then smiled to Hoseok with his slanted eyes. "Thank you for choosing Big Hit over your previous agency. We are currently really in need for great dancers like you in Bangtan."

His voice was very clear and heavy to Hoseok's ears. "It's my pleasure, PD-nim."

"Actually, I think it would be best to change the format again," He turned to Namjoon this time. "Rather than hip-hop group, I want Bangtan to be an idol group. It's what people favour these days."

Hoseok glanced at Namjoon. The latter's face had fallen.

"I hope you guys can keep up a good cooperation even with the format change. I know it seems as if we're changing the entire concept completely, but our purpose can still be accomplished in this way while keeping up with majority's preferences."

There was a heavy silence before Namjoon gave a nod—not a firm one he usually did.

"And for Hoseok," Bang Shihyuk turned to the new trainee, "I expect you to practise rapping like the others too."

.

Hoseok could see Namjoon's face getting sour right after exitting the room. The former couldn't help wondering.

"All the hyungs won't like hearing this," Namjoon stated before the other asked.

"Why?"

"Being in idol group feels like an underestimation to them. Well, to me, too. All of us are super into hip-hop and we love making music. It would be hard for us to accept," Namjoon moved his arms up and down while explaining, and then sighed. "I just hope they won't lose their passion in the process."

Hoseok licked his lips, uneasy. It seemed that everything wouldn't go too well. "I hope you all will be able to accept it."

"Yeah—maybe."

They fell silent. The air was only filled with audible clack creeping down the stairs.

Namjoon asked, "Are you planning to do practice today?"

"Yeah. Will you join me?"

Namjoon shrugged. "I guess I will. My dancing needs improvement," Another sigh. "And you probably will need help in rapping too. I, I'll help, if you want."

"Thanks, I'll take that. I'll help you too with the dance." Hoseok grinned, then entered the practice room. "I didn't expect you to come back here, by the way. It's only a few days apart with new year."

Namjoon turned on the heater. "I kind of regret it now, though. But bad news is better heard sooner than later."

Hoseok chuckled, followed by the other's. "You're such a serious person," Hoseok mumbled plainly.

"I guess—" Namjoon tripped over the mere floor.

Hoseok laughed. "Careless too."

Namjoon flushed. "Usually Yoongi-hyung would nag me on that."

Hearing the name, his ears twitched and flushed in recall of a memory. Hoseok was reminded of the night he had slept on the couch. Yoongi had offered his bed, but Hoseok didn't take it, too sleepy to move. Hoseok was still able to feel the warmth that the deep voice had initiated.

Sitting before the nearest wall, he questioned without much thoughts, "What kind of person is he?"

Namjoon took a seat beside Hoseok, placing his fingers on his chin upon thinking. "Deep?" He muttered. "I think he's a really thoughtful person. And private. But he can open up at times, and I'm sure he's well-aware of what he must do."

Hoseok nodded knowingly.

"And he's ignorant. He welcomed you with only boxers on, right? Darn, I hope you don't mind it too much." He chuckled.

Hoseok laughed, a bit too loudly. "No, no, I won't."

The two practised until evening, complementing each other's abilities.

~ ᶋ ~

It was snowing mildly outside in the early evening. The sky got more vague as time ran in eternity. Streets were icy and slippery. Hoseok took a careful walk with a hot takeout in his cold bare hand.

The snow was calming, yet piercing. Hoseok was never a fan of winter out of the unbearable sting, but snow had always been tranquilizing to him. He wanted to rush to the dorm, fast, to the heater and cozy blanket, to feel calmness, and spend the rest of the day counting to midnight.

It was New Year Eve. A week after Hoseok's arrival in Seoul. Hoseok had not gone around the city too much, since he felt lethargic to the cold. He also had nobody to guide him. Everyone was still at their home, and Namjoon had gone home again two days ago for New Year.

Hoseok was practically alone in the dorm. He had just moved, and he didn't feel like returning home. Or, he just didn't want to worry his family with his problems that had emerged already just in a couple days.

He would be lying to say that he wasn't overwhelmed by the practice. He had been practising by himself while the others were away. He was having a hard time to get himself used to it. It was not like the coaches are stern or not good enough, it was simply really exhausting. It drained his sleeptime—most of his time, actually. He needed to learn more about hip-hop, composing, music overall, and rapping, as well as helping the others learn dancing.

And it wasn't like Hoseok was reluctant about all the practice. They all were into his liking. It was just hard to adjust himself to.

Arriving in front of the dorm, Hoseok climbed the stairs lazily, and opened the door. Hoseok had been handed the key duplicate before Namjoon left the second time for home. Hoseok took a short hot bath since he practised and sweated today, then ate his takeout even though it wasn't dark yet outside.

Silence filled the whole dorm. Hoseok didn't know whether he should appreciate it or not.

The bedroom felt too dark as well as contradictorily cramped and lonely to Hoseok, so the dancer settled himself in the living room with his blanket. The living room became his favourite place in the dorm, although the heater wasn't very well-functioned. Hoseok found the room unreasonably more relaxing.

Hoseok's phone vibrated in his pocket and rang seconds later. He took it idly.

Min Yoongi.

Hoseok felt a throb in the corner of his eyebrow. He picked it up right away.

"Hello, Hoseok?"

His chest was suddenly filled with warmth. He had not spoken with Yoongi as the latter left for home in Christmas, but Hoseok felt kind of delighted hearing the deep voice.

"Yes, hyung?"

"Are you fine?"

Hoseok blinked in confusion.

"Ah, I mean…, you're in the dorm, right?"

"Yeah," Hoseok giggled, "well, I'm just kind of bored, since I'm all alone here."

"Waiting for New Year?"

"Planned to, but I'm not that eager for it."

"Ah, I see." Silence, and then a click of tongue. "Well, take care, Hoseok."

Hoseok smiled even though no one would see it. "Thank you, hyung. You too."

Tomorrow was still a long way to wait for, but the night was filled with excited people looking forward to the start of another year. Hoseok was too tired to keep up with all that. He snuggled on the couch, wondering if he should just sleep there until morning.

His nose was still tinted red, exhaling an almost invisible air puff. His hair was messy, since he didn't comb it after washing. He felt coldness in his feet, but couldn't do much to warm it. Hoseok shivered constantly at the times he didn't plunge his head in the blanket.

It was winter, and not much people could pass it without warmth. Without feeling lonely when being alone.

When Hoseok just decided to listen to some music, there was a knock on the door. It snapped Hoseok enough to unwrap himself from the blanket and approach the door in wary. But the guest opened the door himself.

To Hoseok's suprise, it was Yoongi, swathed in thick jacket, hot takeout in one hand.

"Chicken," Yoongi said. "Sorry, only this. Are you okay with it?"

A light bloomed inside Hoseok's ribcage. He gave a sheepish, grateful smile.

It had sheltered Hoseok enough to have someone caring for him in the midst of this cold.

~ ᶋ ~

Don't think of anything.

Don't say anything, not even a word.

Just give me a smile.