RandomCrap
Presents
Cartoonocalypse
Episode 3: The Beginning
I know I've only been delaying the inevitable for the past 2 episodes, but that stuff was important! But now that I've got that established, here we go.
It was just a normal morning (if you can call it that) in Peach Creek at Edd's house. Gary, Jeremy and I just got back from Wal-Mart.
"Boy, I am bushed," said Jeremy. "How come shopping is so stupid? I mean, look, I got all this stuff, what do I do with it?"
"Well," said Gary, "Normally I'd throw it in the garbage and throw a Molotov cocktail at it, but this stuff is for Edd's portal to another dimension."
"His what?" asked Jeremy.
"It's what he's been working on all year!" I said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to play my new game: Saint's Row: The Third!"
Meanwhile, in the recording room, Edd was putting the finishing touches on the machine.
"How much longer?" moaned Eddy. "I can't wait to see what we are like in the second dimension."
"Probably the opposite of what we are: unpopular, poor, normal," said Edd.
"Why are we doing this if you know it already?" asked Eddy.
"Because," said Edd, "The second dimension is brutal! It would be ready now if GARY AND JEREMY WOULD GET IN HERE!"
"We're here, Edd," said Gary and Jeremy in unison, as they were suddenly in the room.
Edd takes Jeremy's bag first and looks inside. "A bag of Doritos?" he asked.
"I was hungry. Couldn't help myself," said Jeremy.
Edd then checks Gary's bag.
"Alright!" he exclaims, and pulls the object out of the bag shows it to everyone in the room.
"AA batteries?" asked Eddy, confused.
"Batteries are metal!" said Tom, sitting on the couch strumming his solid black Gibson Explorer. "Because they are one of the few non-living things that get to die!"
"That's fine," said Eddy, "But why did Gary have to buy them? We got plenty."
"Yeah, but these batteries last 4 years!" said Edd excitedly.
"What, are you planning to live there?" joked Eddy.
"No," said Edd, "Just visit from time to time." Then Edd put in the batteries and turned on the machine, which, by the way, looked like a projector. It projects the portal.
"Ready, everyone?" announced Edd.
"Now?" I moaned. "I just started playing."
"Hey, we'll be back in a couple of hours, dude," said Ed.
"OK," I said. "C'mon, Al."
"Why do I have to come?" whined Alex.
"You'd rather stay here with Pitch, the Mad Chef?" I said.
"Your right, RC, I'm coming," said Alex.
We all went through the portal, and were surprised by what we saw.
"A basic bedroom?" asked a confused Kevin.
"2 beds," said Rolf. "Must be Tom and Eddy's room."
"What?" yelled a shocked Eddy. "We don't sleep in the same room!"
"Well, you two are the most likely to sleep in the same room," said Rolf.
"Also note that one of the beds is just a trampoline with a blanket and pillow," said Kevin.
"Hmm…" wondered Ed. "Trampoline for bed…"
"Hey!" exclaimed Tom, "Where are all the posters? Both of our rooms' walls are covered in posters. There's none here!"
"Actually," said Kevin, "There is one poster in here, and it's for a band called 'Fist Pump'"
"Hmm…" wondered Ed. "Fist Pump poster…"
"Never heard of them," said Tom. "And I thought that my second dimension counterpart would be relatively the same as me."
"Guys," said Ed, "I think there might be some sort of connection with the trampoline bed and the 'Fist Pump' poster."
"Figure it out later!" yelled Eddy. "I'm gonna get a beer."
Eddy left the room and started to go down the stairs. But about half way down, he saw the strangest sight since Nazz's Head on a dinosaur's body (One + One = Ed reference): a giant blue jay and a raccoon playing video games.
Eddy quickly jogged back to the bedroom. He asked Tom, "Am I drunk?'
"When are you not?" responded Tom.
Tom suddenly saw a basic black guitar. "Wow, cheap guitar," he said. "Let's see what it sounds like."
Tom plugged in the guitar, turned the amp on, and played a single chord. The guitar was so loud every window in the house broke.
"Wow," said a wobbly Tom, "How loud was that?"
"About as loud as we have it for concerts," said Ed.
"Really?" asked Tom. "That loud?"
"You always wear earplugs at concerts, Tom," said Ed.
Suddenly, the door opens. It was the blue jay and raccoon.
We all stared at each other in silence. Tom broke the silence saying, "So I guess I'm the bird, and Pipsqueak's the raccoon."
"You can't call me that anymore," said Eddy, "As we are exactly the same height!"
"I think they are Gary and I," said Jeremy. "I'm the bird!"
"No, I am," said Gary.
"I AM!" yelled Jeremy.
"I AM!" yelled Gary.
"Knock it off!" commanded Ed. "It's none of us! This is Mordecai and Rigby, the two protagonist of Regular Show."
"That's right," said Mordecai. "How'd you know?"
"We're real worlders. I'm Ed, and This is Edd, Eddy, Tom, Kevin, Rolf, RC, Alex, Gary, and Jeremy."
"How'd you get here?" yelled Rigby meanly.
"Well, our plan was to build a portal to the second dimension, but it seems it brought us here instead," said Ed.
"Hey," said Edd, "Do you think you could help us secure lodging?"
"What?" said Eddy. "I thought we were only going to be a couple of hours!"
"There's a family in Elmore that might let you in," said Mordecai.
"I don't think anyone anywhere would invite a random person from the street in their house," said Tom. "It's like allowing a kid to go to the adult film section at Mr. Movies."
"Look, when you get there, tell them I sent you," said Mordecai.
"RC, Alex, Gary, Jeremy," said Edd, "Go back to the studio and pack whatever it is you want to bring with you. I'll go see if we can bring our cars here."
We all left to pack. Eddy said, "Thank you, birdman."
Eddy and Tom went downstairs. Eddy asked, "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"
Tom said, "I'm afraid this isn't a dream, bro. It feels more like a nightmare."
5 minutes later, we were on the highway to Elmore. Ed and Eddy were in Eddy's orange Nissan Z, I was in Tom's silver 300C with him, Gary, and Jeremy, and the rest were in Edd's silver Chevy Express. The band's logo is on both sides.
"…and I find tomato juice always gives me a rash," said Gary.
"Thanks, Gary, I think I'll skip dinner tonight," said Tom.
"Why?" I asked. "You aren't eating live lobsters tonight."
"I'd rather," said Tom.
The trip from the park to Elmore took only about 20 minutes. I thought it would be at least an hour.
We parked our cars in front of a little blue house. Kevin walked up to ring the door bell, but Eddy tackled him and said, "Are you nuts?"
Rolf tapped on the window a couple of times, and Eddy tackled him as well.
"Eddy," said Ed, "How do you expect to get in without using the door?"
"Simple," said Eddy, "Well set up a spinning chair ride, just like when we made up the story about the Mucky Boys [Eds-Aggerate reference]."
Kevin chuckled out loud. "Mucky Boys. Maybe that should've been our band name."
"Nah," said Tom, "Not metal enough."
We set up a chair ride with an easy chair, conveniently located on the curb across the street. Eddy sat in it, sipping a margarita from who knows where.
"OK, Ed, push the chair!" said Eddy.
Ed gave a weak push. Eddy said, "What the f*ck was that? C'mon, Ed, PUSH!"
Ed gave a much stronger push this time; Eddy was spinning around 100 times a second!
"Wow," said Tom, "Maybe I should've stayed home all those years."
Eddy was clearly enjoying the ride, as you could here a "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The rope holding the chair was starting to break.
"Where will it crash?" asked Tom.
"Given the position of the chair when it started…" began Edd.
"CRASH!" went the chair as it flew of the spinning laundry hanger.
"…right at the window to the left of the door," finished Edd.
"Whooo! Let's do that again!" hollered Eddy, as he fainted from the chair and landed flat on his stomach, right in front of Gumball and Darwin.
"Uh… What just happened?" asked Gumball.
"Are you OK, mister?" asked Darwin, poking Eddy's face, which looked totally stupid.
"Is who OK?" asked Nicole, Gumball's mom, as she walked in the room after hearing the crash. Of course she wasn't going to take it lightly.
After seeing the damage, Nicole stormed outside and saw us all telling Tom about the Mucky Boys.
"…and then," said Ed, "Eddy and I made funny noises! And then-"
"Sounds like fun," said Nicole meanly. "But smashing windows doesn't!"
"Oh, hi, Mrs. Watterson," said Tom. "How's the family?"
Nicole went into a long lecture. "I don't know how you know our last name, but I want you dangerous hoodlums out of our neighborhood! You could've killed my children! And I can't afford a repair to the house…"
No one was really listening to her, especially Ed, who was listening to Billy Idol on his IPod. I guess he couldn't take it anymore, because he chugged the rest of his Miller Lite and smashed the bottle on her head. She fell to the ground unconscious.
"Oh, thank god," said Kevin. "She sounded just like my mother."
"Kevin," said Edd, "Take Nicole upstairs and put her to bed. Everyone else, come with me. We're renovating the basement."
The rest of that evening was fairly "normal", like at home. I was playing Saints Row, Eddy and Tom were debating over whether or not losing a limb could kill you, Ed and Edd were watching Edd's shrunken head eat, and the rest were playing Rock Band (Alex rocks at vocals). The only thing that was different was dinner (We ordered pizza).
The next morning, Nicole woke up (who doesn't?), thinking she had a weird dream. She went to take a shower, only to see Richard, Gumball's dad, Anais, Gumball's sister, and Darwin waiting outside.
"Again?" she sighed. "Every day this week Gumball's been hogging the shower! I'm this close to running in there and forcing him out of-"
"Good morning, family," announced Gumball, suddenly walking out of his bedroom. "If you're all out here, who's in the shower?"
Everyone stood there with a confused look on their faces, though no one was as confused as Nicole. She barged into the bathroom, and saw a silhouette in the shower singing "Hotel California".
Nicole quickly opened the curtain and saw Tom washing his hair.
"Who are you, and what are you doing in my shower, much less my house?" asked Nicole, shocked.
"Shower power, bay-bee!" shouted Tom enthusiastically.
Nicole closed the curtain immediately and ran out of the bathroom.
"I must still be dreaming," she said, and went downstairs. The rest of the family looked at each other, confused.
Halfway down the stairs, she saw smoke coming from the kitchen. She rushed down to see what was on fire.
"You haven't lived till you've tried one of my omelets!" exclaimed Eddy. "You were out of butter, so I used peanut butter instead."
Nicole looked for a moment like she was going to be sick. Then Gary came to her and said, "Fresh coffee and morning paper to start your day?"
Suddenly, Rolf came up through the kitchen floor.
"Hey," he said, "You wouldn't happen to have any toilet paper Rolf could borrow? Oh, can Rolf borrow that sink?" He's pointing at the kitchen sink[Yes, this whole thing was a Rambling Ed reference].
"Who are you!" she screamed.
"I'm Gary," said Gary. "The guy in the shower is Tom, the guy making omelets is Eddy, and the guy in the floor is Rolf. The rest of us are in the basement."
Nicole was surprised and mad at the same time. "The rest of y-What are you doing in my house?" she said.
"Some bird named Mordecai sent us here," answered Rolf.
"I don't believe that for even a second!" she shouted. "I'm going to call him right now!"
"Ask him if he happens to have any cheese," said Eddy.
She dialed the number, and Mordecai answered, who at the time, was eating breakfast (I assume).
"Hello," he said.
"Did you send some long haired men to my house?" she asked angrily.
"Yeah, I did," he said.
"BULLSH*T!" she screamed as she hung up the phone. "I want you out of my house by noon today!"
"Noon?" asked Rolf. "What time is it now?" He checked his watch. "8:00? Looks like plenty of time to rehearse."
"Rehearse what?" asked Nicole.
Rolf grabbed a megaphone. "ATTENTION EVERYONE," he said, "TIME TO REHEARSE!"
Rolf ducked back to the basement, Gary jumped in after him. Eddy turned off the stove as Tom ran down, jumped in the hole, and shouted, "REHEARSING TIME, YEAH!"
"Make yourself decent this time, bro," said Eddy as he climbed in the hole.
"Wait, what are you rehearsing?" Nicole shouted down the hole.
"Come down and see," Eddy shouted back up. By all means, she does.
When she landed, she saw what we've done to the basement: there was a hot tub in the floor in the center of the room, close to the arcade. There was also a kitchen and dining room, about 20 bedrooms, 10 in use, a recording room, a home theater, 5 bathrooms, and a rehearsal stage.
"What did you do to my basement?" she screamed.
"We turned it into a recording studio," said Ed.
"So… you're a band?" asked Nicole.
"Yeah," said Kevin. What did you think we were, a bunch of hippies?"
"Well, when you finish," she said, "I want you to-" At that moment, they started playing Dethklok's Sewn Back Together Wrong as a warm-up (Edd's on vocals, Ed's not playing an instrument). "…get…"
The next 20 seconds were spent playing that song. When the song ended, Nicole said, "That actually sounded pretty good."
"Hell yeah, it does," exclaimed Ed. "It sounds just like the recording."
Nicole finishes. "I'm sorry about my yelling, you can stay, provided you aren't a distraction."
"You won't even know we're here," said Kevin.
Nicole gives them a little smile, and heads back upstairs.
"Uh, Kevin," said Eddy, "Whenever someone says that, the person would know they were here, in an annoying way."
"Luckily," said Kevin, "This doesn't apply here."
"You're right, Kevin," said Eddy, and they started another song.