Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with Charmed. I just obsess about it. I also have nothing to do with Sheryl Crow or her fabulous song, "Always on your Side."

A/n: Well, after a very long time I've added an update to this story. Yay me!

Honestly this really has everything to do with my fabulous reviewers. I've gotten such great feedback on this story and two reviews this week. I've been in the mood to write Charmed fanfic, so those reviews made me decide to pick up on this one.

I hope you all enjoy this installment.

Katie

Setting: May 2007.

Alone, Eternally

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent

But my demons and my angels reappeared

Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought I'd be

Too afraid to hear the words I've always feared

Leavin' you so many questions all these years

-Sheryl Crow, "Always on your Side"

For four years Cole had been bound to living in limbo in the manor and he thought he was finally getting the hang of his eternal punishment. At first, when he realized he was trapped and would never escape from the Halliwell family he'd tried his best to raise hell. He could sense the residue of so many demon vanquishes hanging over the house and he'd done everything in his power to raise them into rebellion. The result had been quite amusing; the sisters' fury – particularly Piper, who'd he's always like to provoke –, the witch doctor, the near eminent destruction of the girls. Classic. But in midst the exciting harassment of Phoebe, Piper and Paige there had been an underlying anger and a grief so large it threatened to engulf him. Part of him wanted revenge. A large part. He wanted to see them pay for what had happened to him and for turning their backs on him when he needed them the most. The other part of him constantly reached out for Phoebe. God, he didn't want to care about her, but even in a pseudo death he couldn't keep his mind off of her.

Gradually, things began to change.

He supposed that the anger had started to dissipate when Wyatt was born. He had been there, of course; he'd seen the whole thing. Grudgingly he had to admit that his respect for Piper had never been greater, what she'd gone through that night was truly...intense. But most surprising to him was the overwhelming affection he felt for the little boy that he still considered his nephew, even if no one in the family would ever call him Uncle Cole. He couldn't help himself. He'd always been convinced that he'd have made an excellent father; seeing Wyatt he couldn't help but think that he'd be a great uncle too. So, fortunately or unfortunately (sometimes he couldn't decide), the kid had started to melt his heart.

What really sent him over the edge, though, the thing that finally got him to release all his rage and jealousy and pain, was Chris' arrival from the future. The girls hadn't known, but Chris had a fondness for working through his problems out loud, usually telling them to Wyatt while he was babysitting. Cole had learned more in two months with Chris than the girls had in the entire time Chris had been in the past. In listening in on Chris' random ranting, Cole formed an odd respect and awe for the young man that was so clearly Piper and Leo's son that Cole could have kicked them for being so dense. In fact, Chris reminded Cole of himself: the sacrifices he made for the ones he loved, the doubts, the pain, the repression of his true identity. All combined, it began to remind Cole just why he had done everything he did and, more importantly, how good it had been in intent, even if it hadn't always worked out. The reminder served him well, and he was able to let go of the rest of his emotions. After that, living in the manor wasn't quite so bad.

It also helped, of course, that the appearance of magic school and the connection Gideon had formed between the school and the manor allowed Cole the opportunity to at least leave the premises and go somewhere else. He hated the school, it was one of the most annoying places he had ever been, but sometimes anywhere was better than being in a house with a small child, the three sisters, a sulky twenty-something and a constantly disappearing/reappearing Elder.

Drake popped up sometime in May, much to Cole's pleasure. The demon had purposefully set out to find him, knowing that Cole had given up his powers for a mortal life. Just having someone to converse with was incredibly pleasing, but then Cole realized just how much Drake could do for him and for Phoebe. The plan had taken a lot of work and planning, but even if it had worked or not the entire endeavor was worth it just to give Cole something concrete to occupy his mind for several weeks. In the end, the most gratifying part may just have been getting to talk to Piper. Of Phoebe's three sisters, he'd always found her the most enjoyable if for nothing else but a good verbal spar. Unfortunately, it was his last high point for a long time.

The manor was nearly unbearable for six months, first with the fake identities and then with the incredibly annoying blonde who wouldn't seem to leave and then with Piper moping around the house for months, driving him to the point where he almost looked forward to seeing Paige. Phoebe would choose that time to move out, he thought, just to spite him.

Thankfully when all was said and done and Leo had come back and Cole had sat through an excruciatingly painful family reunion that he ached to be a concrete part of, things went relatively back to normal.

Relatively.

Truthfully, it had absolutely broken his heart to see Phoebe marry Coop (he was sure deep down to his bones that she was taking the safe road, not the right road). Now she was gone. And Paige was gone too...Cole hated to admit it, but at least she had been entertaining every once in awhile. And, in spite of himself, he liked Henry. But instead he was left in the manor with a now very pregnant Piper and Leo and the two kids. Wyatt and Chris had become the highlights of his day. A month or two ago he'd realized that Wyatt could sense his presence in the manor and he thought that sooner or later he'd have someone to talk to again on a regular basis, so long as he was careful of his sister and brother-in law.

On this particular May night in 2007, though, Cole was in the kitchen reminiscing about food when he heard the phone ring, breaking the still silence of the night. He knew it had to be Phoebe or Paige...who else would call so inconsiderately late?

Particularly pleased by the unexpected turn of events, Cole walked upstairs and waltzed right into the (if you asked him) too happy couple's bedroom just in time to see Leo hand Piper the phone.

"Hello?" Piper was lying on her back, her eyes still closed, a hand hovering on her forehead. She was clearly exasperated and extremely tired. "Uh huh," she said after a moment.

Which sister was it, Cole wondered.

Piper was quiet for a minute or so as she continued to rub her forehead, and then she let out a deep sight. "You're overreacting, Pheebs," she said, and Cole's heart leapt a little. "It's not like you're still in love with Cole."

"What?" he said out loud. He walked closer to the bed and leaned over Piper, trying to hear into the phone. Unfortunately he couldn't hear anything. "Why does she think she's in love with me?" he yelled at Piper. "Damn it all!"

Piper answered whatever Phoebe had said instead: "Well, I'm sure it's natural that you might think of him if you were mad about your fight. I mean, you were with Cole for a long time."

Cole sat down on the edge of the bed and tapped his foot impatiently. He'd give anything to hear Phoebe's end of this conversation.

"Huh?" said Piper into the phone. Then, "Oh. Um. No, not really."

There was a slight high pitched sound on the other end of the phone and then Piper said, "Well I won't argue with that. But not for the reason you think you are. Look, Phoebe, you can't compare what I had with Dan to what you had with Cole. I mean Dan was just...Well, frankly, he was a blip on the radar compared to Leo."

Cole turned his head in interest and Leo opened an eye and turned his head towards Piper with a slight smile on his face. Well bully for him, thought Cole, but what does that mean for me? This would be so much easier if he knew more than the minutest details of Piper's relationship with Dan. Was it intense? If so that meant she thought that he, Cole, was worth more than the intensity of that relationship. Did her words mean Cole and Phoebe's relationship had been on par with her and Leo's relationship?

"I don't think I've ever had Dan pop up in my mind," said Piper, and Leo's slight smile turned into a full grin.

After a minute or so, Piper said, "One time, Phoebe. It's not–" There was a slight pause and then Piper sighed again, loudly. "I wish Prue were alive," she said. "She'd be more helpful."

More helpful with what? Convincing Phoebe she wasn't still in love with Cole? He waited in bated breath for several minutes while Phoebe relayed whatever opinion she had about Prue's helpfulness to Piper and then felt his stomach clench when Piper said worriedly, "What? Phoebe..."

More silence, and then, "No, wait, Pheebs–" Piper opened her eyes and clicked off the phone, struggling with her large, pregnant stomach to sit up in bed. "Leo," she said.

Leo opened his eyes again and looked up at her, moving only slightly to have a better view. "What's going on?" he asked. "Why is Phoebe talking about Cole?"

Yes, why?

"She's freaking out," said Piper. "She and Coop had some stupid argument and during the fight she thought about Cole and how he would have handled the situation. The thought made her go crazy and she called me and now somehow she's come to the conclusion that she's settled for Coop."

"Seriously?" said Cole out loud, jumping off of the bed and turning to look down at Piper. "Is she going to leave him? What's happening!" Then he shut his mouth, feeling somewhat foolish. What did it matter, after all, one way or another? If she left Coop she wouldn't spend her time trying to bring him back to life...

"Do you think she settled?" asked Leo.

"I don't know," said Piper. "I mean, Coop's a nice guy and as far from demonic as they come. But I don't know him that well. I just took Phoebe at face value when she said she was crazy about him."

"Well she's going to have to work this out on her own," said Leo. "You can't do anything about it."

"I think Coop may have heard her say it," said Piper, ignoring her husband. "I heard his voice and then Phoebe hung up on me."

"He was probably just telling her to come back to bed since she's pregnant and needs her rest," said Leo pointedly.

Piper smirked at him and Leo finally pulled himself into a sitting position, leaning in to kiss her soundly.

"Ugh," said Cole. "Okay, folks. I'll just leave you alone then." He walked out of the door and into the hallway.

So, Phoebe thought she'd settled. Piper wasn't convinced that she hadn't. He slouched down onto the floor and rested his head against his knees. This was unbelievable. Inconceivable. And he felt...

Cole swallowed hard, suddenly scared to death. He knew that feeling.

He felt hopeful for the first time in five years.