CHAPTER 2

"Hey Mikasa, this is Armin."

"Hi Armin."

"Hello."

"He's shy but don't worry about him. Hey, what are you up to?"

"I'm was playing with my phone, but it's not working."

"Armin can fix that, can't you?"

"Ummm…maybe… Do you mind if I have a look."

"Sure."

"Armin's amazing with technololgy. He's going to be a programmer or something one day."

"Haha, that sounds amazing. Anything to get above mid level."

"Yeah. Tell me about it."

"Oh! I'm sorry."

"No it's ok. I just … I want to get out of here..."

"Hey, Mikasa, I think I've got it working now…"

"You have?! Oh Armin, you're a genius!"

"Haha, I told you he was good, didn't I?"

"Armin, you must be like, the most popular kid around if you can do stuff like that."

"… not exactly."

"Hey, Armin don't worry about those jackasses. They're just jealous of your talents!"

"You get picked on?"

"Uh, yeah…"

"How come?"

"Well, my dad died a couple of years ago and I have to live with my Grandfather. He doesn't really have a lot of money so we never really have the latest stuff. That's how I learnt to fix a lot of that junk, because what we do have is so old that it usually breaks."

"Armin, I'm so sorry!"

"Woah, Mikasa don't strangle him!"

"It's called a hug, douchebag. You'd know that if you weren't emotionally stunted."

"I AM NOT EMOTIONALLY STUNTED!"

"Haha! Calm down, I was joking. Hey Armin, why do you even hang around with this hot head? I mean I don't have much choice because he lives in my house, but you could do so much better!"

"Mikasa!"

"Alright, alright, I was only teasing. Hehe."

She paced across the office. She'd never been very good at being contained. After the incident on street level Levi had ordered her back to HQ. No-one would tell her what the fuck was going on though and she felt like she was going crazy. She kicked a waste paper basket and watched it clatter across the tiled floor towards the great window that overlooked the cityscape beyond. What she could see of the sky was grey and overcast.

The only other people in the office were a couple of cadets, filing paperwork and trying their best to avoid her. That suited her fine. She didn't want to speak to anyone. She just wanted to know what was going on.

The door from the elevator slid open like a whisper and Jean stepped inside; he looked tired and drawn but she strode over to him. He held up his hands before she reached him.

"Let me sit down first, Ackerman."

She was fairly vibrating with energy but she let him stagger past her to his desk and he practically collapsed into his chair. With a sigh the tall man rubbed the bridge of his nose.

She felt a growl bubble up in her chest and he glanced at her sharply.

"Fucks sake Ackerman, we're all freaked out about this, just calm the fuck down would ya?"

She folded her arms across her chest and sat down on his desk with a huff.

"It's been five years." She murmured. "Why did he just suddenly show up?"

Jean sighed again, his eyes searching her face.

"I don't know…the Captain's playing this pretty close to his chest, but there's something big going on."

Mikasa frowned.

Hanzuko had begun their rise to power when she was just a child. It was really the main reason that the Overwatchers existed. Back when she was a cadet Hanzuko had been small fry, blowing up public transport and local services on a regular basis. They claimed that they were rebels against the tyranny of the government, but Mikasa thought they were just anarchists, looking to cause chaos. Over the last few years their attacks had been more substantial and whilst the Overwatchers had managed to block a large number of planned attacks, three years previously there had been a detonation of one of the largest buildings in the city. It had cost the lives of over 7000people, including Mikasa's own parents.

She stood up quickly.

"Well, let's get down there!"

"Easy Tiger," Jean stood too. "You're benched for this one, Captain's orders. He said you should go home."

She scoffed.

"Levi can get fucked, there is no way that I'm sitting this one out."

"That's what I said - minus the cussing, cos well, I like my balls intact - but he told me that I had to make sure that you didn't get involved. He gave me permission to shoot you!"

Mikasa glared at Jean, he was smirking at her with that stupid expression and whilst his eyes shone with mirth, she knew that if Levi had really given him a direct order he would try to restrain her.

He can try….

Mikasa sighed. There was no point getting into a fight with Jean about this.

"So what am I supposed o do? Twiddle my thumbs? This is … Jaeger!" Her voice stumbled over his name and Jean's face did something strange. "You know what he did!" She growled.

You know what he did to me.

"I know." Jean's face was sad and he looked away. "I know how you feel."

She turned away from him so that he didn't see the contempt on her face. He didn't know how she felt. Nobody could understand how she felt. How could anyone understand how it felt to have the man, who you trusted above all others; the man who knew you better than anyone else in the world and who you thought you knew just as deeply; the man who shared your job, your life and your bed; the man who betrayed you, who tried to kill you, who succeeded in killing your friends, who joined the organization that murdered your parents, waltz back into your life after a five year sabbatical? How could anyone possibly understand how that felt? Mikasa didn't even think she understood how it felt. Her emotions were all over the place and she screwed her eyes shut tight, bracing her arms on Jean's desk.

Emereld eyes blinked back at her, widening in surprise.

"M-Mika-"

Jean's hand on her shoulder startled her and she jumped lightly before she shrugged him off with a barely suppressed grimace. He knew she didn't like him touching her in the office. He exhaled through his nose.

"Listen…why don't you go home? I can swing by as soon as I know what's going on."

She shook her head vehemently.

"No. I have… work to do. I can write up some reports…." She trailed off.

"Like you're actually going to be able to get anything done…" He mumbled but he waved her off towards her own desk, turning and staring at his screen with blank eyes.

She wandered back to her desk and sat down heavily. Whilst others in the office had pictures of friends and family members pinned on their desk dividers, or personal effect littered across the polished steel desktops, Mikasa's desk was a neatly organized workspace, devoid of any trace of personality.

When did it get like that?

She knew when, but she closed down that thought, instead drawing up her mission log and preparing herself to write up what had happened from wthe moment she entered that building on street level.

At some point over the next few hours, all of the senior agents arrived back in the office. Apparently they'd all be excluded from what was going on in the interrogation rooms below and though Mikasa grilled all of them, vigorously, none of them had any further information about what was taking place. Mikasa began to feel like a caged tiger. She ignored the pitying stares that were being thrown her way and buried herself in the mountain of reports from past operations that were awaiting completion, sitting in the inbox of her desktop tablet.

It was nearly midnight when Levi stepped into the office and most of the other agents had gone home, or were out in the field, having returned to their current operations. Mikasa's eyes snapped up and met his. He looked tired and worn and his hands were shoved deep into his pockets as he always did when he was pensive. The collar of his shirt was undone and his jacket was slung loosely across his shoulders. As their eyes met he inverted his head, almost imperceptibly in the direction of his office and she was out of her chair and across the room before he could blink.

"What the fuck is going on?" She hissed as soon as she crossed the threshold. Levi did not reply, instead quietly closing the door and removing his jacket, hanging it on the stand by the door. He slowly and deliberately pressed the switch by the door and watched as the glass walls of the pristine office frosted, obscuring it from view from the rest of the office. With a sigh he moved past Mikasa and sat down in his leather chair and, removing a tube of anti-septic hand gel from his desk drawer, he coated his hands thoroughly and rubbed them together.

"I understand that this situation is sensitive. I also understand that our close personal relationship complicates things." He glanced up at her sharply. "But I am still your commanding office and you will address me as such, do you understand."

Mikaa felt herself seethe and clenched her teeth.

"Yes…Sir!"

"Good. Now shut the fuck up and sit down."

She complied, sitting on her hands to stop them from fidgeting.

Levi leaned forwards, resting his elbows on the glass desk and steepled his fingers in front of his face. He seemed unsure how to start.

"You are aware that we apprehended the former Overwatchers agent known as Eren Jaeger."

She ignored the dull ache in her chest at the mention of his name and simply nodded.

"You are aware that a little over five years ago Jaeger revealed himself to be in league with the Terrorist organization Hanzuko."

Again she nodded.

"There was some… unfortunate loss of life and many agents, including yourself were seriously injured during the unveiling of Jaeger's... defection. He himself escaped capture, despite your best efforts and fled to the lower city."

"I know all this!" She growled.

"Yes, but what you do not know, Mikasa, is that Eren was never a Hanzuko operative. In fact he was working undercover. A double agent if you will."

Mikasa felt as though she had been slapped. A double agent…

She opened and closed her mouth, unsure of what to say.

"I know this will no doubt come as a shock to you. After all, you have spent the last five years believing that this man betrayed you." Levi's cold eyes bore into hers. "But now is the time for you to know the truth. Eren was working under my orders. He was to infiltrate Hanzuko, working his way up the command in order to identify the lead opera-"

He didn't complete his sentence as at that moment Mikasa leapt across the desk and slapped him hard across the face with a crack.

"You son of a bitch!" She snarled at him.

He turned to look at her scornfully as she shook from head to toe.

"You son of a bitch." She whispered. "This was your doing! Your orders!" She felt herself spiralling out of control as her voice raised an octave. "Did you tell him to try to kill me as well? Did you tell him to kill A-Armin? And Christa? Did you?" She was screaming now.

Levi just stared at her impassively and Mikasa whirled away from him, afraid of what she would do if she continued to look at him. Behind her he sighed.

"No. Causalities were … not part of the plan."

She half turned to face him. Unable to meet his gaze, she stared, gloweringly at the floor. She could not believe that her brother… Half-brother… could have ordered what had happened and had sat back to watch her fall apart at the seams.

"He was advised that he needed to incapacitate the team. You understand that to pull this off he needed to make it look believable?"

Mikasa swallowed back the bile that rose in her throat at the thought of just what believable had looked like at the time.

"But…" Levi ran a hand through his hair, the only outward sign of his consternation. "Mistakes were made. Those in attendance were supposed to be wearing Kevlar… somehow that message did not get through and… well we know the rest."

Mikasa frowned.

"So then… he- Jaeger, wasn't intending to kill anyone?"

"God, no!" Levi grimaced. "The whole thing has become one big mess if you ask me, but I guess we got what we needed in the end."

Mikasa whirled in fury and lashed out but he caught her wrist, his eyes narrowed.

"Be careful." He warned.

"You make me sick." She whispered, wrenching her hand from his grasp. "I want to see him."

Levi gazed back at her impassively.

"Impossible."

"Levi."

"Ackerman."

"Captain." She relented, not meeting his eyes. "Please…"

She stared at him, her eyes fixed over his left shoulder. He had always had the upper hand over her, ever since they were kids, but she refused to back down. He owed her.

He sighed and looked away.

"Fine."

She breathed in a deep, shaky breath and turned to flee the room.

"But you have to take Kirstein with you."

She paused her hand on the door. Her voice when she spoke was small and cold, devoid of emotion.

"Levi… I…I can't forgive you for this."

He was quiet for a moment behind her and all she could hear was the ticking of his old wooden clock on the wall.

"I didn't expect that you would." He murmured and she turned the handle and fled the room.

She stood in front of the door with its cracked and peeling paint, her heart in her throat.

He stood a little way away from her. The two of them were set away from the rest of the team, stood against the gradient of the mid layer freeway. Mikasa was peering down to the city below. Watching… she was always watching.

"Hey Mikasa…"

"Yeah, what?"

"You know I love you?"

She turned to face him. He'd never said those words before. Not out loud. She frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Why would anything be wrong?"

He looked worried now.

"You're being weird."

He smiled and it was a smile full of sadness and bitterness.

"It's not going to open itself," Jean murmured startling her from her reverie.

"Yeah, don't rush me," she mumbled.

"Ackerman, we've got reports of a shoot out on the mid level freeway bridge. Reports of officers down."

Mikasa kicked into high gear, angling her cruiser in the direction of the bridge. Eren was off on some important mission for Levi so she was flying solo. She hated it when she had to work without him. They watched each other's backs and knew how to work off each other and it always felt like she was incomplete when he wasn't there.

She approached the bridge and could make out what looked like a hell of a battle raging. There were three masked citizens – Hanzuko! - fighting it out with roughly nine Overwatchers, two of whom were downed. She tried not to get distracted worrying about them and instead jumped from her cruiser landing in the centre of the bridge.

Drawing her pistol she lay down a suppressing fire and dived for cover behind a blast shield that had already been deployed.

"Ackerman!" She caught sight of Armin and nodded at him, using hand gestures she explained to him what she wanted to do and he gave her the thumbs up to acknowledge.

Around them she was aware that another five Overwatcher's were downed and she cursed. Waiting for her moment she dove out of cover, laying down fire as Armin advanced, taking out one of the gunmen. He dove into cover and reloaded as Mikasa took shelter behind his blast shield. Nodding at Armin again, they repeated their manoeuvre, but in reverse; this time she took the lead, ducking and rolling she avoided their fire and she easily took out a second gunman. The last was more adept and he missed her attack, diving and rolling out of harms reach. She cursed again. He was good.

She lunged behind the final blast shield. There was no-one left except her and Armin, the others lying motionless around her and she cursed silently.

Armin's frantic hand signals caught her eye and she realized what he wanted to do and she shook her head vehemently; this final gunman was too good. But the determined glint in his eye belayed her denial and in seemingly slow motion Armin rose from his cover, his weapon trained and leapt across the expanse of bridge towards the lone gunman. The wind whipped at his hair and Mikasa screamed for him to get back in cover, her voice lost to the wind at this height. She could only watch in horror as the last gunman dove from his position as Armin emerged, taking two quick shots in succession and landing them in Armin's chest.

The blonde boy stumbled towards the railing at the edge of the bridge and Mikasa rose with a defiant cry, firing shots at the Hanzuko gunman aimlessly. A stray bullet caught him in the mask and he was flung backwards onto his back. He lay still and didn't move.

Mikasa ran to her friend. The boy she'd entered the academy with; her best friend. She felt like she was running through syrup, her legs wouldn't move fast enough and to her growing horror Armin's prone form began to lean heavily over the railing and before she could reach him his body pitched forwards and fell down into the void.

She felt her throat constrict and she grasped the railing staring as his small body fell, fell, fell through the misty void, disappearing from sight.

She closed her eyes.

Armin…

She felt rage swell in her chest and she whirled on the gunman who lay still on the concrete bridge.

Stalking over to him she grabbed him by the back of the neck and in one smooth movement she ripped off his mask.

Her mouth opened in horror and her heart froze.

The man before her blinked bleary eyes at her and she let go of him as though burned. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at her blankly, his face a cold mask of indifference.

"This… this is some kind of sick joke…"

He just looked at her. His face betrayed nothing and she suddenly wanted to shake him, to shove him and to demand that he give up this stupid game and assure her that it was all just some stupid prank.

"You – you can't be…." She whispered, searching his face for something – anything that would prove his innocence. "I know you…"

His expression hardened and she bit her lip.

"Why?" She whispered.

"Hanzuko lives."

She felt the ice that had gripped her heart harden and shatter into a million pieces, each disintegrating and scattering on the wind at the depth of his betrayal.

"Ackerman," he said. He never called her that and it served to reinforce just how much she might have misread him. "I'm sorry." For a minute she though she saw something in his eyes as he looked at her, some hint of emotion. But then she felt nothing but pain and she staggered off him, glancing down at her chest where a red stain was gradually expanding across her torso like a blooming flower. He lowered the weapon in his hand and she moaned piteously; not at the pain from her injury but from the pain in her heart. Her vision swam and suddenly she was on the ground.

How did that happen?

She focused on breathing. Steady breaths, in and out, over and over. Raising her weary head she caught sight of him, standing a few meters away. There was another Hanzuko agent with him and they after a second they turned to leave. She felt herself pitch forwards, catching herself in the dirt. It was getting hard to breathe, her lungs felt like fire and ice all at once. Around her the bodies of her fallen comrades lay. Christa, a few feet away, lay with her neck twisted at an unnatural angle, blood dripping from pale lips and her eyes wide.

Raising tired eyes she caught sight of him one more time. He was looking at her and his face was a blank mask, but his eyes… his eyes burned with intensity.

"Eren…" she said before the sweet release of darkness took her.

"It's not going to open itself," Jean murmured startling her from her reverie.

"Yeah, don't rush me," she mumbled.

Taking a deep breath against the flood of memories she turned the door handle, swinging the door open into the small holding room and found herself face to face with him.

Her heart thudded loudly and there was a high-pitched ringing in her ears. He was taller than she remembered, his face looking down at her in shock as she stood, rooted to the spot. She refused to meet his eyes, but she could see they were wide and round in panic and at his sides his hands clenched tightly. His tired face was bruised from where she had kicked him and she winced, not meeting his eyes.

"Sorry about your face…" she muttered, before moving away from him, dancing out of his personal space.

Soap and spice.

The smell of him invaded her nostrils and taunted her with memories. For the longest time after his betrayal she had washed and rewashed her bed sheets, desperate to rid her life of that smell. Her hands were shaking and to hide that fact she stuffed them into her pockets, hunching her shoulders and turning away from the man who….

Who what?

Jean followed her into the room, glancing nervously and accusingly at the man before him.

"Jaeger…" he eventually muttered, evenly.

Mikasa was studying the floor studiously, but from her periphery she saw Jaeger drag his gaze from her to glance at Jean.

"Hey Kirstein," he held out a hand to the other man but Jean simply glanced at it sceptically.

Taking the hint, Jaeger dropped his hand after a moment, instead stuffing it into the pocket of his dark pants with a sigh. Mikasa felt a new level of respect for Jean as he stood his ground, folding his arms and surveying Jaeger from beneath his hair.

"Look, Jaeger…" he started. "I know that there's some weird shit gone down. And you were apparently following orders." Jean glanced nervously at Mikasa who held his gaze as his face did something strange. "But you've got to realize that you've been pretty much undesirable number 1 around here for the last five years. Jesus!" Jean threw his hands up. "You nearly killed Ackerman here... You did kill Armin… and Christa. And there were 7 other causalities."

Jaeger's face paled and Mikasa thought for a moment that he was going to be sick.

"I mean, just how the hell did you even agree to an order like that? Wasn't Armin your best friend-"

"Jean-"

Mikasa's voice cut him off from where he had been advancing angrily on Jaeger. The dark haired man seemed to be shrinking in on himself with every word. The silence in the room was deafening.

"Jean… please wait for me outside." Mikasa said, looking at Jaeger evenly.

The tall man began to protest and Jaeger's eyes shot up, meeting her own with what almost looked like terror.

"Please…" she whispered, not taking her eyes from Jaeger's.

Jean huffed. "Fine. But I'll be right outside."

The sound of the door closing broke the spell and Mikasa dropped her eyes. Turning her back on him she braced her hands on the windowsill gazing into the darkness beyond; the lights of the sky lanes blurring together into a hazy glow.

"You – you grew your hair out…" she heard him murmur and she had to close her eyes at the sound of his voice. A shiver moved down her spine at the memories of that voice.

Resignedly she turned to face him.

"So did you." She said, keeping her face impassive.

She was a fortress.

For the first time since his reappearance she really took in the sight of him. He was slim; she didn't remember him being that slim before. His face had aged, but that was likely due to the line of stubble along his jaw and the dark shadows that pressed under his eyes.

"You look tired…" She said, surprising herself.

"So do you."

Her eyes widened and she felt a flush rise up her cheeks.

His eyes were intense as they gazed at her and she bit her lip, watching as he tracked the movement.

"So…."

He held her gaze and neither of them seemed to know what to say, what to do to make this better.

"Tell me why you did it." She whispered suddenly, the pressure becoming too great.

He sighed and turned away from her, staring at the wall with unseeing eyes.

"You know why." Levi.

"But you could have refused."

"Refused?!" He whirled to face her. "I was promised the chance to take down Hanzuko. I was promised the chance of a lifetime, every Overwatcher's dream case! Would you have turned it down?"

She considered this.

Would she?

"Not when you put it like that, but it wasn't that simple was it?" She spat. "Not when they told you what you'd have to do."

She watched his shoulders tense and felt the bitterness well up inside her.

"You looked me in the eye and you pulled that trigger."

Suddenly he was whirling to face her.

"You were supposed to be wearing your God-damned Kevlar!" He snarled.

"Oh, so this is all my fault?!"

"Don't be ridiculous." Jaeger snapped. "I'm just saying- none of that was supposed to happen." His eyes turned pained. "When I saw the blood…I just froze. I thought for sure I'd killed you." He swallowed convulsively and she was shocked to see tears in his eyes. "I've spent the last five years thinking that you died at my hand as well as the others and you have no idea how that has haunted me."

He reached for her and she couldn't help it, she flinched back from his touch. His mouth curled downwards and he dropped his arms silently.

"Well, I'm not dead…" She muttered. "Despite your best efforts." He balked at her words and she felt a rush of sadistic pleasure.

"But Armin…?"

His words chilled her and she wrapped her arms around herself, tightly. Looking away from him she heard him draw in a shuddering breath.

The silence descended over them like a thick, smothering blanket and Mikasa imagined all of the air in the room being absorbed by it.

"So why now?" She asked after a moment, turning cold grey eyes to him. "Why did you come back now?"

He opened him mouth for a moment then closed it, looking away from her.

"It was a five year mission, I completed my time…"

She was pretty sure that he was lying to her, by the way his jaw clenched. He'd never been able to lie directly to her face.

He was pretty good at keeping this from you though.

"So what now."

He just stared at her for a moment and she thought he was trying to read her question.

What now for him? What now for her? What now for them?

There was no them! Not anymore.

"I'm on RnR for 4 weeks, pending formal investigation and review of the case. And then I'm back to work."

"Back to work," she repeated hollowly. "As though nothing has happened."

"Mikas-"

"My name is Ackerman." She growled at him, her eyes flashing and the hand that he had reached towards her dropped emptily into the abyss between them.

"So that's it?" He asked hollowly.

"What did you really expect?"

She was cold. With numb fingers she wrapped the scarf round her neck tighter against the chill of the air feeling it's soft wool caress her skin.

His eyes popped wide and she frowned at him, wondering what he was staring at.

"You – you changed your scarf?" He muttered and she glanced down at the blue scarf around her neck, her mind automatically thinking of the soft red scarf that he had wrapped around her neck the day they completed their training. The scarf she hadn't removed for two years on the job. The scarf that had become so much part of her identity that Connie had taken to calling her scarf girl.

"I burned it when I got out of the hospital."

His eyes widened for a moment and then it was like a door closed on them. All emotion shut off and he stared at her blankly.

She turned to leave, feeling like half of a woman as she walked out of the door without a backwards glance.