First of all, I want to thank the kind anon that left a review and everyone that subscribed to this! I just started writing again after years and I'm still not confident about doing so in English, but it made me really happy, so thanks a lot!

Here's my second contribution, with the prompt "Love".

Rating: T

Genre: Angst

Word count: 877

Warnings: spoilers for the recent chapters (obviously)

At some point during their journey, Sanji realized he still didn't know what love was.

It must have been during that very precise moment at the top of the Tower of Justice. His dear – their dear – Robin had finally screamed out her pain which no else had witnessed for decades, tears streaming down her face and Sanji had felt angry and ready to destroy the whole world. How could someone even think of hurting her? His whole crew shared the same feeling and need to protect her, because they loved her. So they did. They crushed everything that was standing in their way. Enies Lobby fell that day and more than two years later, he was sure that nothing could be salvaged from the wreckage that they had left behind them.

After that episode, Robin was more open to them, honestly smiling and sharing her feelings, finally calling them by their names. They picked up Franky and Brook in no time. Although the loss of the Merry was still in a corner of their minds, their new ship was constantly filled with glee and laughs. They never said it to each other, but they cared for each other. It was them against the world, but nothing was able to break them.

Sanji wasn't that confident.

It wasn't love for him. It wasn't love when he invented a new tangerine-based recipe, especially for Nami, when he made sure to put less sugar in Zoro's meal because he knew the damn bastard wouldn't like it if it was too sweet, when he tried to aid Brook with a cup of tea when he couldn't phrase lyrics of a new song the way he wanted, when he willingly sit down to listen to Usopp's passionate and endless explanations of his new gadgets. It wasn't love either when he helped Robin water her flourishing garden, when he spent his own allowance given by their greedy navigator on Franky's mechanical supplies whenever he needed them, when he insisted to accompany Chopper in his search for new medicinal herbs on unknown islands in order to be there to protect him in case something happened. It wasn't love when he couldn't say no to Luffy's blinding grin and request for food, no matter how much he kicked him for it.

It wasn't love because he was lying to all of his crew, faking. He was a liar, he didn't deserve Nami's trust, Zoro's respect, Brook's lullabies, Usopp's admiration, Robin's smiles, Franky's tears, Chopper's care and most of all, Luffy's faith in him.

How could he pretend to love them when he was going to hurt them? How could he even dare say he was part of the famous Straw Hats crew when none of them knew that he was a monster? No, they didn't love him. They admired his sweet face and skills, his powerful legs and fire. If only they knew... They would hate him.

He treasured them with all his heart and mind and would sacrifice his own life and hands for them. However, they would never feel the same towards the monster he really was.

His real family loved him.

He came back to them or they came back to him, Sanji didn't really know. He pretended he didn't remember Ichiji's disapproving glare when he couldn't bring himself to kill one of their mansion's maids because their father thought she was doing a poor job at six years old, petrified at the sight of blood on his hands. He didn't remind Niji and his old pastimes like experimenting new torture methods on his little brother. He feigned ignorance even when he could only think of Reiju's harsh words and Yonji's mocking laugh, saying he was disappointed in his big brother because he wasn't like them. They were all kids at that time.

When he came back, they decided to brand the Vinsmoke name on his back. He screamed like he never had. It wasn't the pain, he was used to fire and what kind of cook feared fire? It was because he knew he would never run away again. He put on an emotionless mask and followed them, Ichiji's firm grip on his shoulder, Niji behind him to make sure he couldn't run, Yonji leading the way and showing his big brother what a perfect Vinsmoke was and Reiju's arms around his waist, humming her poison in his ear.

"You belong to us. We love you, you know, we are a real family. You know that, right, deep down inside?"

He tried to convince himself that they were right.

He wanted to throw up.

So he took back his Vinsmoke name, something he had abandoned. He obeyed and followed his siblings, like the perfect son he should have been. And when the flame in his heart died (it was for their own good, he was protecting them from his horrid and grotesque self, it was the only way), he heard his former captain screaming his name. He turned around, his brothers and sister mimicking him at his side. They were all here.

"Why are you coming back for me?"

Luffy gave him his trademark laugh.

"Sanji, you can be a real idiot sometimes. You know why."

He was loved.

Sanji has so much self-worth issues in my head and I love him even more for that.