AN: I'm really glad that people enjoyed the first chapter of this story, so here is a much longer chapter for you guys now. Thank you to the people who favorited and followed already and thank you as well to those who reviewed. I really enjoy hearing from you guys. Without further ado, here is chapter 2! Enjoy!
Alison smiled at the girl who was standing on her porch and opened the door wider so that Emily could step inside.
"Hey, Em," Ali said as Emily walked past, closing the door behind her.
Emily smiled at her. "Hey, Ali, what's up? I feel like we haven't hung out in a long time."
"I know, but Cece was in town, and I was spending time with her. I haven't really had all that time to hang out with the girls either. I can tell they miss me. They've been asking me to hang out all week." Ali rolled her eyes.
"So how did you get away from them today?" Emily asked.
Alison flashed her a mischievous smirk. "I told them that today was Cece's last day in Rosewood. She really left yesterday. I lied about it though because I really wanted to spend time with you before I go back to hanging out with them."
Emily shot her an incredulous look. "Why would you want to hang out with me over your best friends?"
"You're my best friend, Em. I missed having you around. Besides, I get to see them every day at school. I hardly ever get to talk to you." Ali winced when she thought about the things she had said earlier that day, and she looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I didn't mean to make such a big scene. I just figured I might as well keep everyone in line while I'm at it, but I really am sorry. It may not seem like it, but I hate it when I have to do that."
"It's okay, Ali. I understand that you have to protect your image. Being friends with me would bring your popularity way down. It might even make you a loser. I totally get why you would want to rule the school because I mean, everybody does, and I don't want to be the one that ruins that for you. What happened today is my fault anyway. I shouldn't have been staring at you so openly like that." Emily looked down at her feet.
Ali shook her head. "It's not your fault. It's the fault of the boy who whistled for calling you out on it and forcing me to take care of it. Thank you for being understanding of me though, Em."
Emily continued to stare down at her feet, and Alison sighed. She hated doing this to Emily, and she wished that she could apologize for real and tell the brunette that she would never be rude to her again, that she and Emily could be friends at school, that it didn't matter. Alison was so close to opening her mouth and saying all of that, but she abruptly shut it again, reminding herself of what she would be giving up if she did. Her reputation was everything to her. It was really all she had, and she knew that being friends with Emily would completely ruin it. The only thing was that she liked Emily. The brunette girl was different. She was special. She made Alison feel special. She genuinely cared about Ali and wanted to hang around with her, something that could not be said about any of the other people at school. Most people at school hated her, but Ali wasn't sure her friends completely liked her either. She knew that Mona envied her because Ali was the queen bee, and she had always wanted that spot for herself. Spencer seemed to be a genuine friend, but Alison knew that she was probably just in it for the popularity. Who wouldn't be? Alison wished that her friends could be more like Emily, but they weren't, and that was that. Alison decided to shift the conversation to a different, slightly less confusing, topic. "So before we do anything, would you mind helping me with my chemistry homework? I'm having trouble with some of the problems at the end."
Emily's face brightened now that the awkward conversation topic was gone. "Sure. I'd love to. Chemistry is actually one of my favorite subjects."
Alison was already aware of this because Emily had mentioned liking chemistry several times before, but she was glad to hear that the other girl would help her. She led the way upstairs to her bedroom and flopped down on her bed to pick up with her homework where she had left off. Emily gingerly sat down on the bed beside her to take a look at the problems she was working on. Alison pointed to the last four. "This is the part I don't understand."
"Oh. Balancing chemical reactions. That's easy!" Emily exclaimed.
Alison looked down in embarrassment, a little humiliated that she couldn't seem to get something that Emily clearly found simple. The brunette seemed to realize that she had hurt the blonde's feelings a bit because she immediately corrected her mistake.
"I'm so sorry, Ali. I didn't mean to make you sound stupid. I just meant that it will be easy for me to explain it to you, that's all," Emily stammered.
Alison put her hand over the other girl's to calm her. "It's okay, Em. Relax."
Emily cleared her throat before turning her attention back to the chemistry problems at hand. "Okay, so when you balance a chemical equation, you just have to make sure that you have the same number of each type of atom on each side of the reaction."
Alison nodded in understanding. "So, say I have two hydrogen atoms on one side, then I have to make sure there are two on the other side."
"Right," Emily confirmed. "Let's look at the first one. That should be the easiest. So since there are three carbon atoms on the left side and only one on the right side, you just place a three in front of the one on the right."
Alison looked at her questioningly. "That's it?"
"That's it." Emily nodded.
Alison wrote the three in like Emily had instructed, and then brunette began speaking again. "Okay, so now, you have two hydrogen atoms on the right side and eight on the left side. What do you do here?"
Alison looked at the question in confusion, a little stumped by the fact that there were already two on the right side. However, she wanted to please Emily and make it look like she may have actually paid at least some attention in the class, even though she hadn't paid an ounce of attention since the start of the school year, so she figured she would just take a guess. She thought it must be an addition sort of thing. "Put a six in front of the one on the right?"
"So I can see you weren't paying attention in class," Emily said knowingly, and Alison dipped her head in embarrassment, "but that's okay. It's a multiplication kind of deal. You'd put a four in front of the one on the right because four sets of two hydrogen atoms makes eight."
Alison wrote down the four before turning back to look at Emily gratefully. "That makes it a lot easier for me to understand."
"Good. Can you finish up the reaction now?"
"On the left side, there's two oxygen atoms, and we now have ten on the right side, so I would put a five in front of the one on the left to finish the problem," Alison said confidently.
"Yes. Great job, Alison! I knew you'd get the hang of it!" Emily exclaimed proudly, and Alison's heart swelled with the amount of happiness that Emily got from her success.
"Thanks, Em. I definitely understand it better now, but do you mind watching while I do the next three problems, just to make sure I have it down?"
"Of course I will."
Emily watched over Alison's shoulder as she worked out the next three problems, correcting her if she made a mistake. Ali loved the way that Emily would get so excited for her when she got the right answer and explain it so nicely to her when she didn't. Ali normally asked Spencer for help with this kind of thing, but the smarter girl always explained things too technically, making Ali feel like an idiot, and they would both end up frustrated by the end. Honestly though, Ali preferred Emily's company because she was so gentle in her explanations, and she genuinely wanted Alison to succeed. Emily might have been a loser, but she actually cared about the blonde, and in a world where no one else did, that counted for something.
When Ali finished up the rest of the problems, she shut her chemistry book with the homework still tucked inside it and threw it on the floor next to her backpack. Then, she turned to face Emily, putting a hand on her arm. "Thanks for helping me with that."
Emily's cheeks tinged pink with a blush. "It was really no problem at all."
Alison couldn't help but love the effect that she had on Emily. She knew that the other girl had feelings for her. She had known since Emily had kissed her last summer. She had kissed back at the time because she didn't want to scare her best friend away, or so she had told herself then, but she made sure to tell Emily later that she could never return those feelings so as not to lead the brunette on. Lately though, she was starting to wonder if maybe she did have the ability to return Emily's feelings after all, but she pushed the thought away almost as soon as it had entered her head.
"So what do you want to do tonight?" Alison asked.
"Whatever you want to do is fine," Emily said sweetly, and honestly Ali wasn't even the least bit surprised.
She wasn't letting Emily off the hook that easily though. She wanted the other girl to decide. "Em, you just sat here and helped me with my chemistry homework, which was not what you came here to do, nor can it be what you really wanted to do. Tonight, I'll do anything you want."
Emily's eyes brightened a bit as she seemingly got a good idea of what the two of them could do. "Okay. How about we go ice skating?"
Ali smiled at the thought. She and Emily used to go to the ice skating rink all the time in their freshman year, soon after they had first met. It had been their favorite place to hang out, and Ali loved it there. She loved the feeling of skating over the ice, so she was definitely excited at the prospect of going again. However, she was a bit reluctant since she hadn't been to the rink in over a year. She didn't know how well she'd be able to skate anymore. "It's been a long time since I went to the ice skating rink, Em. What if I can't remember how to skate?"
"That's fine. I'm sure you'll be a little rusty so you can hold onto my arm until you get used to it again. I still go skating with Hanna and Aria quite a bit, so I can still skate well. I'll help you as long as you need. Besides, you said we could do anything I want," Emily reminded the blonde with a smirk.
Alison rolled her eyes playfully. "Ugh, you're right. Let's go."
Alison rolled off of her bed and began the trek down the stairs, Emily following close behind. Ali stopped in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs, grabbing her car keys off the table where she had left them before turning back to Emily with a questioning glance. "Do you want to drive?"
Emily shook her head. "I didn't bring my car. I walked here."
"Alrighty then. My car it is." Ali twirled the key ring around on her finger.
When the two girls got outside, they climbed into Alison's car, and Ali didn't hesitate to put the keys in the ignition. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't excited to go ice skating tonight. She only hoped that no one from school would be there, but as ice skating wasn't a big thing for the students at Rosewood High, she was fairly certain that she and Emily would be left to their own devices. After pulling out of her driveway, Ali began driving down her street in the direction of the ice skating rink. She could feel Emily's eyes on her as she drove so she chanced a quick questioning glance at the brunette beside her. Alison was surprised when Emily spoke up of her own accord. "Ali…"
She didn't say anything after that so Ali prompted her to continue. "What?"
She looked like she was about to say something, but before she could get the words out, a blush spread over her cheeks, and she turned away. Ali decided to try harder to figure out what it was that Emily was trying to say. "What is it, Em? You can tell me."
"Well, it's just that you said you would do anything I wanted, and….I thought maybe I would ask if you would hold my hand…just until we get there," she said nervously.
Alison smiled warmly at her. "Of course I will, Em. It's the least I can do in return for everything that you do for me."
Alison kept one hand on the steering wheel and brought the other one over to hold onto Emily's. The brunette boldly intertwined their fingers together, and Alison let her, telling herself that she was just doing it since Emily helped her with her homework. She knew deep down that it was more than that though. She actually enjoyed it. Holding Emily's warm hand in hers made her feel safe, like nothing could harm her. She felt like she and Emily were the only two people in the world, and Alison felt like she could simply be herself. Not the queen bee that everyone else saw. Just Ali. She felt that way a lot when she was with Emily. She knew she shouldn't be feeling any of these things though, so she tried to clear her head of those thoughts. It was just weird and wrong for her to think about her best friend that way. However, she couldn't suppress the tiny wish that this car ride would never end.
When the two girls arrived at the ice skating rink, Ali was glad to see that she didn't recognize any of the people there. She followed Emily to the desk to rent ice skates. Once they had their skates in hand, they sat down onto the benches to put them onto their feet before gliding out onto the ice. Alison was unsteady on her feet, and she immediately clutched onto Emily's arm, holding on for dear life. She kept her feet absolutely still, afraid to move as she was pulled along by Emily. When they began to go around the first turn, Alison found that her strategy failed when her legs flew out from under her, and she collapsed to the ice, pulling Emily down with her. The brunette landed right on top of her, knocking the air out of her lungs.
"Oh my gosh, Ali! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Emily's brown eyes shined with concern as she quickly rolled off of the blonde and helped her to her feet.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Ali said, catching her breath.
Alison grabbed onto Emily's arm again, deciding to give it another go. This time, when they went around the bend, when Alison's legs wobbled, Emily was ready, looping a strong arm around her waist to keep her steady. Soon enough, Alison was simply holding Emily's hand rather than holding onto her arm. When Ali felt ready to let go, she looked nervously at Emily, and Emily seemed to know exactly what she was thinking because she flashed the blond girl an encouraging glance and then released her hand. Ali went around on her own, and surprisingly, she did not fall. She forgot how much she loved ice skating. She felt so free as she glided across the ice, like she could just be Alison. The person she had to be to keep her status at school, the girl she pretended to be to have everyone bow to her will, was gone as she went around and around the ice rink. Suddenly, she found herself wondering why her reputation was so important to her anyway. Would it hurt her so much to have real friends instead of having everyone fear her? Why wouldn't she want people to genuinely like her for who she was instead of cower before the person she pretended to be? Didn't she want anyone to see Ali? As she continued to skate, nothing mattered to her except for that moment, that one pure moment of being free, and she loved it. She remembered that she was not there alone, and she looked around for Emily, spotting her a few feet behind, smiling gently at Ali. The blond girl knew that Emily was smiling because she enjoyed seeing Alison be so happy. Why? Because she genuinely cared about her. This was the kind of friendship Ali wanted, not the ones she supposedly had at school.
Alison slowed down a bit to wait for Emily to catch up, smiling brightly. "Thank you so much for bringing me here."
Emily dipped her head shyly. "Of course. I knew you'd love it once you got the hang of it again. I mean, I love it too."
Alison was about to respond when the lights dimmed all around them, and the beginnings of a slow song filled the air, accompanied by a voice over the loudspeakers. "Grab the one you love."
Both of the girls knew exactly what that meant. It was time for couples skate. Emily immediately turned to skate off of the ice, but Alison let her impulses take over, and she reached out before she even knew what she was doing, grabbing Emily's arms. All Alison knew was that she didn't want Emily to leave. She took advantage of the bold and free feeling that she had while skating over the ice. She didn't want to put on a mask at this moment. She just wanted to be Ali, and Ali really wanted Emily to dance with her right then and there. Emily turned back to face her with a questioning glance, confusion clearly written out on her face, and Ali just smiled at her, extending a hand to the other girl. "Wanna dance?"
"With you?!" Emily asked, her shock clear on her face.
"Yes. With me," Ali said surely.
Emily looked around nervously. "Are you sure? What if someone sees?"
Ali knew she should care about that, but at that moment, she did not. She didn't really care about anything other than dancing with the girl that was standing in front of her. "I don't care. I want to. Please just dance with me."
Emily finally took Alison's extended hand, and Ali pulled her out to the middle of the ice. Emily tentatively put her hands on Ali's shoulders, but Alison was not content with just that, so she pulled Emily closer, pressing their bodies together as she wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist. Emily sighed in content as she wrapped her arms around the back of Ali's neck, and Ali could feel the other girl's heart racing. Maybe Ali's heart was racing too, but she didn't care. She just wanted to get lost in the feeling of simply swaying to the music with Emily. She had danced with many people before, but she found that she had never enjoyed the feeling as much as she was with Emily now. When she looked up to meet Emily's brown eyes, she found that the other girl was already staring at her, and she was caught in her gaze for a moment. When she finally got the power to look away, she chanced a glance down at Emily's soft pink lips, and she wondered what it would be like to kiss them. Well, she sort of knew what it was like, but she didn't mean a short chaste kiss like Emily had given her this summer, she meant a real kiss. She decided that she was going to find out, and in a moment of bravery, Ali leaned up to connect their lips together. After a moment of initial shock, Emily's lips began to move against hers, and Alison didn't think she'd ever felt so much during a kiss before. She kissed Emily hungrily, pouring all of her pent-up feelings from the past two years into the kiss, and she hoped that Emily could feel just how much she meant to the blonde. Ali brushed her tongue against Emily's bottom lip, begging for entrance, and the brunette parted her lips, allowing Ali to explore the inside of her mouth. After a few more glorious seconds, Emily seemingly came to her senses and pulled away, looking into blue eyes. "Ali, what are you doing?"
Ali smirked playfully. "Kissing you."
"Why? You made it perfectly clear to me that you only have feelings for boys."
Alison bit her lip, contemplating whether or not she wanted to tell Emily the truth. She realized now exactly what the truth was. She had subconsciously had feelings for Emily ever since the brunette first smiled at her in algebra class during their freshman year. She had only realized these feelings when Emily kissed her this past summer, and even then, she only let herself acknowledge them for a second before pushing them away again.
Emily had been over at Alison's house for a sleepover, and Ali remembered that she had been in a particularly good mood that day. She had told Emily that she was so glad that the other girl still wanted to hang out with her, and it was the first time that she admitted to Emily that she was Alison's best friend. Emily had just leaned over to kiss her, and Ali had done nothing to stop it. She hadn't even been able to help herself from returning the kiss because it had felt so right. When Emily pulled back again, Ali had simply smiled at her and was glad when the brunette resumed talking like nothing had happened. She had told herself that she couldn't have feelings for Emily. Even if the brunette wasn't a girl, she was still a loser, and it would be a double kill to Alison's reputation if she started dating her.
Later that same night, Emily had wrapped an arm around Alison's waist when they were lying in bed, pulling her closer to cuddle, and Alison had been quick to scramble out of the brunette girl's grasp. She kindly explained to Emily that while it was fine that Emily had feelings for her, she could never return those feelings because she only liked boys. Emily had immediately apologized, and Ali had felt kind of bad for lying, but she had easily pushed the feeling away. The truth was though that every time she was around Emily, no matter how much she tried not to, she always ended up falling more in love with the other girl.
"I want you to know that I was lying when I said that. I was just scared, but the truth is that I do have feelings for you, Em. I mean, I think I always have. I think—" Ali broke off, her wave of bravery fading out, and she looked away.
Emily quickly cupped her cheek, guiding blue eyes back up to meet brown. "You think what, Ali?"
Alison was hesitant for a moment, but then she decided to just say it—she wanted to say it—so she did. "I think I'm in love with you, Em."
A huge grin spread across Emily's face. "I'm in love with you too, Ali."
She pressed her lips back against the blonde's, and Alison got lost in the kiss, not stopping until the song ended, and the sounds of all the single people skating back out onto the ice brought them back to reality. Alison smiled warmly at Emily. "It's getting late. We should probably head back soon. Do you want to stay at my place tonight?"
"I'd love to," Emily said, grinning widely.
The two of them began to skate off the ice, in silent agreement that they would head out now. After they had removed their skates, they brought them to the front desk to return them before walking out into the cool air of the evening. Ali grabbed Emily's hand in her own as the two of them made the short walk back to the car in the fading sunlight. Emily turned to face her. "So are we officially going out now?"
"If that's what you want," Ali said sincerely, "but we can't tell anyone. This has to stay between us for now."
"Why?" Emily was quick to ask, disappointment clear on her face.
Alison sighed, wondering how it was that Emily could've possibly thought that she'd just walk into school the next day and say that she was dating the brunette. "You know that would kill my rep, Em. You should know that dating another girl isn't exactly cool."
Emily looked away, seemingly trying to decide whether or not to say something before she turned back to meet Ali's eyes. "I'm sorry. I respect your decision, but I don't want to be in a relationship with you until we can be public about it. I understand why you don't want to tell anyone right now, and I promise that I will wait for you, but I've never been with anyone before. I want my first relationship to be real."
"Em, come on," Ali pleaded. "I want to be with you. I really do."
"I want to be with you too, Ali. You know that, but I don't want to have to keep our relationship a secret."
"Em, you know I can't tell anyone about this. I would lose my queen bee status in an instant. Everyone would make fun of me." Alison was getting desperate now.
Emily stood her ground. "Everyone makes fun of me, but it doesn't matter because at least I'm getting to be myself."
Ali could see the reasoning in that statement because there were many days that she wished she could just be herself as well. Today was one of them, but she knew she would never give up her reputation for that. Without it, who was she? So she simply decided to try again. "You know I can never do that. We still hang out all the time, so we will have plenty of time for dates and stuff like that. I don't get it. Why is it so important that everyone knows?"
"Because I want to be able to show you off to the world as my girlfriend." Emily looked hesitant, but then she plundered on with what was most likely the real reason. "And I want to make sure you're not playing me or just doing this out of pity. I want to make sure that you really want this as well before I completely open up my heart to you."
"Em, please. I promise that I want this just as much as you do, and I would never break your heart. I'm being completely sincere. Won't you please just trust me?" Alison realized that she was practically groveling at this point. She had never wanted anything more in her life than she wanted this one girl in front of her, and to be honest, it scared her. She didn't know what to do if Emily refused because then she would be the one with the broken heart, and one did not simply break Alison DiLaurentis's heart. It seemed like Emily might be the first. "I'll wait for you to be ready, I promise, but I'm not going to be in a secret relationship with you."
The finality of the other girl's tone made Alison's blood boil. How dare this girl stand here and refuse her? Any of the boys at Rosewood High would be falling over themselves to go out with Alison, whether they had to keep it a secret or not. However, Ali knew she wasn't getting what she wanted this time, and she was definitely not used to not getting what she wanted. She couldn't believe that Emily, a complete loser, had the nerve to turn her down. What hurt even more though was the knowledge that Emily didn't completely trust her, even after all the time they had spent together. Ali couldn't help but think that maybe Emily didn't love her enough, and she was instantly blinded by rage. "Fine, then. You can have your way, but you won't even have to bother with waiting for me because I don't want to go out with you ever. You were right. I was just taking pity on you because I know that you have a crush on me, and I wanted to do something nice for you, but you know what? I don't even want to be your friend anymore! The people at school are right about you, and I can't believe I didn't see it before. You're just a loser, just like everyone says you are!" Ali felt crazy as she walked to her car, but she didn't care. It was the only way for her to keep from crying.
Emily ran after her, desperately trying to fix what she had so clearly messed up. "Ali, please don't be this way. Why can't you just respect my decision? If you really love me, you would care about what I think too."
"Haven't you been listening? I don't love you! I was just pretending. Now please just stay away from me!" Ali was already getting in her car, desperate to escape.
"Wait, Ali! You're my ride!" Emily shouted in a last ditch effort.
Ali didn't care though. She knew Emily's house was only a ten minute walk from the rink. She pulled the car door shut, turning on the engine and pulling out of her parking space. Alison wished she had never even admitted her feelings for Emily, let alone told her she loved her. That had been the plan. To ignore the love and move on. Now, Alison had made herself look like a complete fool in front of the girl she loved, and she couldn't bear to be around that girl any longer. However, Ali couldn't help but wince at the image of Emily standing on the curb with tears running down her cheeks as Ali sped away.