Five Years Later
Casey smiled as she spun around in her office chair, giggling as she drank in the sites of her new, large, window office. After years of arduous work, long hours at school, and virtually no social life, Casey had graduated top of her class at Harvard. She was approached by a finance company called DPI shortly before graduation to be a senior financial analyst. She agreed without hesitation as DPI was one of the most renowned financial firms in the United States.
"Someone seems happy!" Casey looked up to see her co-worker and friend, Luke Cameron, standing in her doorway. She tossed him a lopsided smile.
"Extremely!" she exclaimed. "It's amazing having something to stare at besides brick walls, how can I not be? I mean, look, I have a window!" She stood out of her chair and walked over to the large glass panels. The streets below were full of clustered cars and people walking around. She loved the energy Boston provided and the constant motion of life all around her. It was certainly more exhilarating than London.
Luke sauntered over to her and looked out as well. "Soon this window will be your enemy when you can actually see the darkness and you're still working. At least back at university it provided a façade that it might still be light out," he chuckled.
"Oh, hush you," she said as she elbowed him. Luke was a few years older than her. They met while she was at Harvard. They were neighbors on the same floor. Luke had a whimsical sense of humor that could break a poker face, yet he was extremely smart and excelled in mathematics and could mentally solve complicated equations. It was he who took her under his wing and introduced her to the trendy areas of the city as well as his friends. He had moved from a small town in Virginia to Boston when he finished high school, so he understood the feeling of being 'lost' in a new city.
"So, we're going to celebrate tonight, right?" he asked, "because I've got Emily, Jason, Bre, and Ryan on standby to hit the club."
"Oh my gosh that sounds so good," she replied, "but I can go home and change first I hope? Because no way in hell am I showing up to the club in a business suit. That might work for you, but I need something that's celebratory."
"Nope, you need to go in your pantsuit, I don't need you attracting hot men tonight," he winked flirtatiously. She shoved back at him, a blush creeping on their face. Right before Luke was hired there was something between them at DPI there was something between him. They put everything on hold while Casey went thru the hiring process since he was in upper management. She shoved him again before laughing it off.
"Let me walk home and change and I'll meet everyone there. What time?" Casey had a small apartment above a restaurant on a quiet side street near Bay Street, probably a ten-minute walk from the office.
"I'll save us a table for 8, how does that sound?" Luke asked as he pulled out his cell.
"Amazing. I can't tell you the last time I went out on a Friday night!" she exclaimed, already thinking of what to wear. She usually was here late on Friday's and sometimes on Saturday's when interning. But now that she had completed her internship and had the cushy corner office job, she could resume a social life.
"I know, workaholic. Sheesh, you would think you're me or something," he laughed as he began to walk out of the office. "8 sharp, don't be late, and damn it, I expect you to not look gorgeous tonight." He gave me a fake stern look at her before laughing as he walked away.
She smiled as she looked back out the window, staring at the people rushing down the crowded sidewalks. Tourists, families, couples, and businessfolk herded together as they crossed the roads, spilling outside the thickly painted white lines. Walking during rush hour was almost as dangerous as driving, the combination of walkers, bikers, and drivers creating an ugly flow of traffic. Grabbing her coat and bag, she made her way off the tenth floor and out to the chilly October air. Merging in with the people of the streets, she gleefully walked amongst the crowds and onto her apartment.
About fifteen minutes later, Casey was turning onto Elm and Bay and began to ascend her stairway when she peered into the window of the small bistro she lived above. There was a couple, both probably close to her age, sitting next to the window. He was holding her hand and gently stroking his thumb against her knuckles, and she was looking at him in the way that Casey could only remember looking at one man with. Swallowing hard, she pushed aside the dull ache in her heart for him as she detached her gaze from the lovely couple.
After she made her way up the narrow stairwell, she unlocked and opened the door to reveal her small studio apartment. It wasn't much, but it was all she could afford when she first relocated. But now that she was making more and the firm generously compensated her tuition upon her completing the internship, maybe she would consider getting a nicer, larger place. She intended to stay here in Boston and had no desire to move back to Canada.
Derek. Five years later his rejection still stung her. She could never fully commit to another person after he broke her heart. She was trying to with Luke, but even with him she couldn't fully do it. She had told herself originally that Luke seniority at work is why they never moved forward, but, she couldn't do it, not while Derek's memory still loomed.
Casey sauntered over to her closet and pulled out a shoebox, carefully handling it as she laid it on the bed. She lifted off the top and stared at its contents; items from the past that had a completely different future attached to it. Pictures of a couple in love, keys to their parents' house, cards and love notes her left her, and pieces of jewelry she couldn't bear to wear, but couldn't discard of. Sadly, she skimmed through the contents, saddened by the memories of what could have been. She briefly closed her eyes; last, she knows he was in a relationship with a girl named Melissa. She was an artist, and she was beautiful with long curly brown hair and porcelain skin. They had taken pictures together at Niagara Falls, and that was as far as she got before she clicked out of her profile page. After that night four years ago, she never went and looked up Derek on Facebook again. She couldn't handle the pain of knowing that the someone else he left her for turned into something more.
Casey replaced the lid on the shoebox and slowly walked over to her closet. She knew she should get rid of the memories, but she couldn't let go of it. Moving to another state in the US and going down a different path couldn't stop her heart from loving him, even though he ended it. She sighed as she slid the box into the back corner of the closet. Perhaps someday soon she could part with the memories of him, and maybe any day the true love of her life would sweep her off her feet. But in five years she had yet to find him, and now that she was mid-twenties she almost wondered if she ever would.
Pushing off her saddening thought, she mustered up some glee into sorting through her closet for an outfit to wear. Perhaps tonight she would find someone who would make her love again. Casey pulled out a sequined fitted dress and slit it off the shoulders, and slid on a pair of nude pumps. She quickly retouched her make-up and her hair, grabbed her clutch, and hailed a cab out for the club. She wasn't going to let a temporary moment of sadness ruin her promotion celebration. Damn it, she was going to have fun!
Casey laughed as she took another sip of her martini, her third one of the night. Everyone at the table was cutting loose and kicking them back, and she wasn't going to be shy about it. It had been far too long since she had a night out with friends.
"Ohhh no!" Casey mock protested as Luke walked over with a tray of a dozen or so shots of tequila. She squealed as she took one and haphazardly clanked glasses with her friends before shooting the liquor back. Luke motioned for everyone to take another, which everyone obliged, and they all laughed and sputtered about how strong the drink was. Moments late the lights dimmed and the DJ approached the booth and began to play his set, resulting in the group going out to the dance floor.
Casey threw her head back and let the thumping music take over; it had been a long time since she danced at a club. She lifted her arms over her head and twisted her body to the beat, standing alongside Emily, Jason, Bre, and Ryan as they danced as feverishly as she. It was a few tracks into the set before she felts Luke's hand on her back, a drink in her hand for her and smile on his face.
"Having fun?" He shouted over the music, which resulted in a grin and nodding her head as she turned back to the music. Luke was about to walk away when she grabbed onto his shirt. "Dance with me!" she ordered, pulling him closer than she had meant to. He obliged and dance alongside her, expertly swaying to the music. She smiled at the memories of clubbing together; he knew of all the great spots in town with the best DJ's and they always had a blast. It was amazing being back out on the dance floor with him again.
Soon she finished and discarded her drink he brought over for her. Everyone in their group began to drunkenly disperse into their own worlds as the club filled with more people. Casey and Luke were pretty much alone and heavily intoxicated as they swayed with each other on the dance floor, looking more like lovers than friends as they danced along to the music. It wasn't before long when Luke's fingers raked through her hair and he brought her in for a kiss.
Her eyes had widened at first, but she quickly fluttered them closed and kissed him back, allowing him to deepen it. She slipped her arms around his neck and pressed into him, savoring the moment. They broke the kiss momentarily to continue dancing, but they would connect again and again as they slid their bodies against each other, lost in the beat and each other's touch.
The effects of alcohol eventually began to wear off and the patrons of the club began to leave, resulting in the group slowly making their way back over to the table. They shared a few more laughs before they said their goodbyes. Casey made her way outside to hail a cab, still pretty intoxicated, but deliriously happy. When the taxi pulled up, she opened the door and slid into the back, but before she could give the driver her address she was soon joined by Luke. He pulled her on top of him and gave her yet another deep, passionate kiss. She giggled in response and accepted the act, breaking the kiss so he could tell the cab driver his address. As the car pulled out into the road the two of them continued what they started in the bar, only the confined space allowed them to become more intimate. He ran his hands up her thighs as she raked her fingers in his hair while rocking against what she could feel was his hardening member.
The taxi driver pulled up to Luke's complex and they carelessly fell out of the car after Luke tossed some cash at the driver. They haphazardly made their way over to his townhouse and after fiddling with the key in the lock, they fell through the doorway. Once the door clicked shut behind them, Luke shucked his coat off, grabbed Casey hand and pulled her into him. She lazily fell into him, giggling, and they proceeded to explore each other's mouths even further, stumbling over to his stairs. They broke contact to ascend the stairwell, but soon resumed once they reached his bedroom area. After heated moments, Casey stopped and looked at Luke. As he stared back at her, all she saw was the one thing she yearned for hours ago when she rifled through her box of memories. She stood in front of him and allowed him to slip the dress off of her, exposing her body to him, and then fell under the spell of intoxication, lust and desire as he pulled her onto the bed.
#
Casey slowly opened her eyes, annoyed that the leftover mascara made the task already more challenging. She already knew that she wasn't in her bed; the firm mattress and unfluffy pillow covered in drool was a dead giveaway. She sat up gingerly and looked around, clutching to the blanket to cover herself. Luke was nowhere to be found. She sighed and fell back into the pillow; she hadn't meant to take it this far. Even during the period of time when they might have become something they never came close to sleeping together. Clearly the combination of hard liquor and her pining clouded her judgment.
Deciding not to postpone the awkward confrontation any longer, Casey slipped out of bed and slid on Luke's discarded shirt and combed her fingers through her brown hair. She grimaced at the leftover makeup patched on her face before rubbing some of it away. Taking a deep breath, she descended the stairwell and was greeted to Luke's back in the kitchen. He must have heard her because he turned around, causing her to gasp. In all the years she knew him, she never really saw him in something besides suits or polos and Dockers. He was wearing a fitted tank top and a pair of sweatpants that hung deliciously on his hips, his hair unruly and the slightest bit of stubble. She felt the blush creep up on her and he tossed her a goofy grin.
"So, yeah, if you want to stay here forever and come downstairs looking like that every morning, I would be quite ok with that because, damn, that's hot," he teased.
"Lukeeee," she wined in embarrassment. She walked over to the breakfast bar and put her hands on her forehead, rubbing her temples.
"Here, for the headache." He placed a couple of aspirin and a glass of water in front of her, which she happily accepted and immediately took. Momentarily a plate of bacon was placed next to the now-empty glass and her mouth watered. "And of course, we're going to need some extra greasy hangover food if we're going to talk about last night," he added once he placed the plate in front of her. Not wasting any time, she took a piece and bit into it, enjoying its salty, greasy flavors. She could already feel the pounding subsiding as he placed another plate beside her of pancakes.
"Dang, you made my favorite hangover concoction here," she said as she grabbed another piece of bacon, "and I never knew you could cook. It's pretty good."
"Thanks," he smiled as he handed her a plate. "I usually don't get the chance to cook except on the weekends, but it's definitely one of my favorite things to do." She smiled at his admission and helped herself to some pancakes. Luckily, he already knew that she loved to eat and was not shy about it, so why start now? She doused a couple of pancakes in syrup and dug in, quietly indulging in the delicious meal. Once their plates were empty, he cleared them and replaced it with a cup of coffee, another favorite that she happily accepted. She raised the mug up to her lips and took in a lengthy sip; she could feel her headache diminishing, meaning that it was time to have the night-after talk. She looked at him bashfully; he looked almost just as uncomfortable, but at the same time he looked calm about it. She shifted nervously.
"So," she started, "last night."
"Yeah, last night," he echoed.
"I haven't had that much to drink in a long time, I swear I'm becoming a lightweight," she lightly joked. He awkwardly laughed back; the tension was starting to thicken and she became even more uncomfortable. She was about to say something else, but Luke beat her to it.
"Look, Case, I'm just going to come out and say it. I've liked you for years, and I know you felt the same at one point. My promotion did come at a poor time and I know we hit the brakes, but I never, ever stopped caring about you. So, when we went out last night and you pulled me on that dance floor, I couldn't help but cave into it. So, do I regret last night? No, I don't, not at all. But, if you want to pretend it didn't happen and go back to being friends, I can probably do that. I'd rather not and I would much rather repeat it over and over again, but I respect you, especially since you just got promoted and I know you're so career driven. So, you tell me what you want, and I'll honor it."
As Casey listened to Luke's admission, she couldn't help but feel her resolve melt away. The fact that he was willing to go back to being friends and forgetting this ever happened was amazing, but what got her was that he said he respected her and her career. Suddenly, she couldn't think of a reason why she shouldn't be with him. Sure, they worked together, but they had mutual friends, they weren't each other's superior in the office, and they clearly had chemistry. She took another sip of her coffee before placing the mug down on the bar. Boldly, she slipped off the chair and walked over to him. She could feel him profiling her, lazily draped in his button down with nothing underneath. In that moment, she could feel desire emitting from him, and once she approached him, she slid her arms around his neck and smiled up at him.
"I think," she started slowly, "that we should finally give this a shot, and see what happens. I don't want to lose our friendship, and I don't want things to spread at work, but if you're willing to try this then I am, too."
Luke responded by giving her a smile and circling his arms around her waist and for a few moments, the two of them stood there. On one hand Casey was happy; she was taking another step forward in her life by taking on a new relationship. Who knew, maybe it would go somewhere; Luke was a good man, he was one of her best friends. But in that moment when she smiled back at him and stared into his royal blue eyes, a pair of rich, smoky blue ones flashed in her mind.
#
"Let me take you to dinner tonight," the voice on the line coaxed.
It had been a few hours since Luke dropped her off at home. She certainly didn't feel like walking home in a sequined dress and heels in broad daylight and for once allowed him to drive her home. She laughed at his proposition. "You just saw me a few hours ago!"
"Yeah, true, but is it so bad I want to see you again?" he retorted. "Come on, I'll take you out to a nice restaurant with real food to celebrate, no bar snacks and hard liquor. Ok, maybe some liquor, but not copious amounts." She laughed again at his persistence.
"Ok, ok, fine. You win," she replied. "But I highly doubt any liquor will be entering my system tonight, I feel like my body is in a state of shock from all the tequila and vodka I consumed last night."
"Ok fine, I won't slip you any martinis again, although I must say that me giving you that one last night did get us into this awesome predicament we're in now," he teased. "Let me pick you up at 8."
"Aw man, come on, can't we walk somewhere? There's only another month before the weather turns sour!" she protested. He knew she loved walking everywhere and constantly teased her for it, but she couldn't help it! There was something about being one of the thousands of people on the city streets that made her feel like she truly was a part of this city, not a girl from a small town in Ohio.
"Alright, fine, I'll swing by your place at 7:30 then. Maybe we can go to that place below your apartment? From what I recall their food is pretty good," he suggested.
Casey's smile strained, but she quickly relaxed. "Sure, that would be great. It's Italian in case you couldn't remember."
"That's right! Ok, perfect, I'll see you then!" With that they exchanged their goodbyes and disconnected.
Home alone with her thoughts, Casey sighed for probably the fiftieth time since she got here. Her conscious was at war with her; while her mind and body said that this was a good idea, her heart was protesting it. Casey grumbled; it's been five years since Derek left her, and she couldn't figure out why she continued to hold a torch for him. It bugged her; Luke was the first man she had been intimate since Derek. Anytime she thought about cutting back and getting wild with someone it was the memory of Derek's tantalizing touch that kept her from falling over that edge. He was her first, she thought he would be her last. How she went so far deep last night as to actually sleep with Luke baffled her. She was a little disappointed for letting her resolve fade, but then she thought back to the admission she made last night. She wanted to move on, she wanted to find love, and from the hazy memories, she saw something last night that was enough for her to succumb to him.
She sighed for the nth time and ran her fingers through her bangs. There was nothing wrong with moving on. Derek wasn't coming back. He didn't come for her in the last five years, why would he suddenly now?
As she wrapped up her thoughts, she wiped away the tears that had escaped. She decided right then and there that those would be the last tears she would ever cry for Derek Venturi. He didn't want her then, he didn't want her now, and it was time to move on.