Happy 2nd December :) Hope everyone's starting to feel at least a little bit xmasy! And thank you so much to Dinabar, Hopelesslyhalfhearted, Charlotte, Lizzi and Amy for reviewing advent chapter no.1, and to anyone else who reviewed after 10.30pm on the first, because that's when I'm writing this- I'll give you a thank you at the start of number 3. So glad you all enjoyed the last one :) Meant to say before- I have by no means finished writing this yet but I do have each day planned out, however, if anything occurs to you along the way that you'd like to see included, then please to let me know and I'll do my best to add it in if possible :)

Love Florencia xxx

Nikki's Diary

Monday 2nd December 2019

-7.39am

Oh god. Cannot believe how badly have overslept. Cannot believe have chosen this morning of all mornings to do it, either- have to be at meeting with Home Office, coroner etc. by 9 in bloody central London, during rush hour, having dropped Joycelin at school and made self look vaguely presentable; is going to be logistical nightmare, given that 9am is now less than 2 hours away and have only just gotten out of shower. Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.

-7.40am

"Harry, you'd better be almost dressed!" Darling fiancé is usually terrible at getting out of bed in mornings, am hoping that shock of accidental lie-in on worst possible morning ever will spur him into action. Better had have done. Have one child to drag out of bed against will as it is, really don't need another one. Although in her defence, child actually under age of 18 is complete and utter early bird, renowned for getting up unnaturally early for no apparent reason. Is husband-to-be who has no healthy sense of panic in mornings.

-7.43am

Phew, minor miracle: Harry not only dressed but already in kitchen making coffee and Josi's breakfast. Is actual life saver; have not got hope in hell of getting daughter to school on time and holding off yawns through Home Office meeting without double espresso.

"Thanks." Still have to get dressed, sort hair, get 8 year old out of door and locate sat nav, which have terrible feeling might have been tidied away to unknown location during mad panic over potential buyer visit last week… have no idea why am stopping to drink coffee at table. Might have to put in thermo flask and drink in car. "Is Josi up?"

"Should be. She wasn't when I went in just now but I did turn the light on, so she should have dragged herself out of bed by now."

Famous last words. Better go and check; the way this morning's going, has probably discovered homework hasn't done/spellings haven't learnt in bottom of book bag.

-7.44am

"Joycelin?" Oh crap, is still curled up under duvet, must have gone back to sleep after Harry came in to turn on light. Brilliant. Of all the days, this was so not the one to pick. "Joycelin, come on, we're late!" Still not responding, am going to have to resort to shock tactics and pull duvet off her. She's not going to be happy.

"Joycelin!" Is groaning now, think is beginning to wake up, slowly. Slowly not good, really need to speed her up a bit. "Joycelin, it's after 7.40, sweetheart, we've all overslept. You need to get up now, OK?"

Is shaking head stubbornly now, closing eyes again. "Don't feel well."

Really don't have time for this, not this morning. Will have to be unsympathetic mother for now and beg for forgiveness later.

"Well you've only just woken up, you'll feel better once you're dressed and you've had your breakfast, OK? Now come on, up. I think you're going to have to do your advent calendar this evening now, we haven't got time. Come on, your breakfast's getting cold."

-7.52am

Hair and make-up done in record time, shoes and handbag by front door and car keys located. Now just need to remember where put sat nav. And postit with address of meeting venue.

-7.56am

Oh god, can't find sat nav anywhere. Am sure have seen it somewhere odd recently, trouble is, can't remember where. Starting to think moving to bigger house is bad, bad idea- more places to lose things.

"You two haven't seen the sat nav anywhere, have you?" Two shakes of heads, fantastic. Don't know what am going to do if can't find it in time. Might just have to dig out antique London A-Z. Or phone in sick.

"Mummy?"

"Joycelin, you're going to have to wait a minute, darling, I'm a bit busy right now-"

"Mummy, I feel sick." Oh god, poor thing does actually look quite pale. And tired. And ill.

"Do you?" Uh oh, and is burning up. Of all the days for her to be ill; can't keep her off school as Harry, Leo, Janet, and self all required to be at Home Office meeting or else, as are Charlie and Zak. And Mrs C in Welsh valley in middle of nowhere visiting old school friend- i.e., have nowhere to send Josi other than school. Damn.

"Have you had any breakfast?" Don't know why even bothered to ask, spoon has clearly not been anywhere near porridge.

"N-no." Looks like she's about to cry, really not sure should be sending her to school. Trouble is, haven't got anywhere else to send her. Feel terrible now, should have believed her in first place when said wasn't feeling well. Am useless mother too worried about work meeting and finding bloody sat nav to realize own daughter is ill.

"I'm sorry darling, I know you're not feeling well, but I'm afraid you're just going to have to be brave today, OK? Daddy and I have got a horrible meeting with Grandma and Granddad we can't get out of, but we'll come and pick you up at 3 and if you're still not feeling well tomorrow then I might be able to get the day off. But I can't today, I'm sorry."

"OK." Poor thing, looks terrible and yet is still being perfectly calm and rational about having to survive entire day of school feeling like crap. Would actually have felt so much better if she'd thrown a strop.

"Good girl. Good girl, you're being so grown up and brave, aren't you? Now are you going to try and eat some breakfast for me; or you're going to have no energy today."

"Still feel sick." Still looks sick, poor baby, though don't think she's actually going to throw up. "Can I have some neurofen?"

"Josi, I can't give you neurofen if you're feeling sick, I'm sorry. Look, leave your breakfast, go and brush your teeth and I'll find your book bag for you, OK?" When am going to find the time to do that don't know, haven't done her packed lunch yet, either. Although not sure she's going to be eating much of it, anyway.

-8.02am

"Nikki, I've found the sat nav!" Harry standing in doorway with sat nav in one hand and proud grin on face; is like dog with Frisbee in park. "Back of the shoe cupboard." Is leaning over to whisper in ear now, worried look on face. "Josi looks ill."

"I know, she is ill. But we're going to have to send her to school anyway, Harry, we can't miss this meeting, your mum's on holiday, and everyone else local is supposed to be at the meeting too. We're just going to have to send her in today and hope she manages."

"But she looks like she's about to throw up." Really not helpful, have realized that all by self and feel bad enough as is.

"Harry, I know that, but what do you want me to do? Leave her at home by herself?" God, sound like stroppy teenager. "Sorry."

"I know." Is pulling me into hug now, only wish could relax and enjoy it. "I'm sorry, too. Look, she'll be fine today Nikki, don't worry. We can always keep her off tomorrow if she's still not right…"

"No, you're right, we shouldn't be sending her into school when she's clearly come down with something…"

"But we haven't got a back-up plan. Nikki, she's going to be fine, I promise. Come on. Josi's going to be fine for today, but if we're not careful she is going to get a late mark in the register, and we're going to be in the coroner's bad books before the meeting even starts."

-8.10am

Can't take this anymore, still feel horribly guilty. Have even given Joycelin smoked salmon sandwich for lunch by way of saying sorry and still can't forgive self- not entirely sure is going to be up to eating it, therefore not really apology.

-8.13am

"Nikki, we really need to get going!"

Blow it. "I'll be two minutes, OK?"

Going to have to be late, am phoning own personal parenting hotline for reassurance/kick up backside. Can't spend whole day feeling like failure of parent.

-8.14am

Damn, is not picking up. Is nine in morning over there, probably in middle of PM. Know she does back-to-back PMs in morning so can have bad-smell-free afternoon.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sara, it's Nikki." Sounds like she was in the middle of something, uh oh. Know from years of experience that interrupting Sara in middle of something important is bad, bad idea.

"Nikki, hi. Listen, I'm a bit busy right now, do you mind if I call back later? I've been meaning to call, actually…"

"Can I just ask you a quick question? It won't take a minute, I promise."

Slight pause. "Niks, what's wrong?"

"No, no, nothing's wrong. Listen, Sara: Joycelin's running a temperature and she's obviously not feeling right at all, but Harry and I both have a majorly important meeting with the coroner today, Harry's mum's on holiday and it seems all our friends either work at the Lyell Centre and have to go to the same meeting or live in a different hemisphere…. Am I a terrible mother if I send her to school feeling sick because there's nowhere else for her to go?"

"Well I bloody hope not, or else I'm a serial offender and my three should have been taken into care years ago! Niks, don't worry about it, OK, we're all guilty of using school as a babysitting service from time to time."

"But I just feel so awful about sending her into school when she looks like she should really go back to bed…"

"But Niks, it's not your fault, like you said, you've got nowhere else to send her and you can't get the day off. It's just one of those things. Listen, there's a simple solution: what time is your meeting due to finish?"

"12ish, I think."

"Well in that case, you pack Josi off to school for now with a box of tissues and tell her to go to the medical room at lunchtime and say she's ill, the school will phone you and you can go and pick her up, bring her home for the afternoon. She'll be fine for the morning, Niks, and then you can go and get her as soon as your meeting's over. Would that work?"

"Perfectly. Sara, you're a life saver, thank you."

"Don't mention it. And stop feeling guilty, OK? We can't protect them from everything, Niks, no matter how hard we try. I'll call you later, OK?"

-9.02am

Phew, first part of morning successfully negotiated. Have followed Sara's expert advice and told Joycelin to go to medical room at start of lunch break if is feeling no better, and Mummy and Daddy will come and get her then. Took it reasonably well. Even managed to cross London during rush hour behind schedule and still arrived on time, thanks to trusty sat nav. Now just need to somehow maintain concentration throughout meeting which will almost certainly be boring as hell and mostly taken up with finance planning for next year. Lunch time cannot come soon enough.

-9.24am

Don't think have ever felt so bored in entire life, and haven't even been sat here listening to coroner drone on about damn budget for half an hour yet. Charlie already playing with nails and Zak has so far supressed at least 5 yawns. Really don't see point of this; everything seems to be exactly the same as last year. Can't coroner just put finance plans in post and we can call meeting if have problem?

-10.12am

Ugggh, coroner stopped wittering, so Home Office chief accountant droning on and on instead. Harry definitely bored now, trying to discretely start game of 'rock, paper, scissors' under table. Will not be tempted; is no way can carry this off without drawing attention to self. And no matter how bored get, really, really don't want to end up in coroner's bad books. Can be pretty scary when she wants to be.

-10.15am

Harry given up on 'rock, paper, scissors' and feeling up leg; very distracting.

Ohhh, and something vibrating against leg; think must be mobile in skirt pocket. Better try and check who is calling without attracting coroner's attention, just in case. Have nasty feeling might be about daughter.

'St Mary's Primary.' Damn, definitely about Josi. What to do… Shouldn't really answer phone in middle of meeting, is hardly going to make good impression on coroner. No, am going to have to let it ring and call back at end of meeting.

-10.16am

Oh god, but what if she's really ill and needs to come home? Would feel terrible if was stuck in skanky medical room all morning when really needed to be at home in bed, poor thing. Own memories of school medical rooms are anything but pleasant. And what if she's been sick, school aren't supposed to keep her there if has been sick. Not to mention will need cuddle and honey and lemon.

-10.17am

OK. If school don't try again in next 15 minutes, will say have urgent missed call and leave room to phone them back. If nothing else, is excuse out of most boring meeting in history of boring meetings.

-10.19am

School calling again; definitely taking it this time. Coroner can get stuffed, Josi much more important.

"Sorry, do you mind if I go outside for a moment to take a call? It's my daughter's school, I just need to…"

Coroner rolling eyes, clearly doesn't have children. "If you must."

Petty cow.

-10.20am

"Hello?"

"Hi, is that Dr Alexander? I'm calling from St Mary's Primary School; your daughter was sick earlier this morning, I'm afraid we can't keep her in school in case it's a viral thing. Are you able to come and collect her?"

"Umm…" Coroner not going to be happy, judging by her reaction to me taking call in first place. Damn it, screw the coroner, is not like have actually contributed anything much to meeting so far. And have sick child to look after.

"Yep, that's fine, I'll come and get her now. I'm probably going to be about half an hour or so, but I'll come and get her."

-10.23am

"Well?" Coroner not looking happy; if looks could kill, would be dead within nano-seconds. Suddenly feel like 6th grader confronted by intimidating old teacher all over again.

"I… I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave- my daughter's not well and her school thinks it's best that I take her home."

Disapproving look. "And I hope you told them that you're in the middle of a very important meeting and they'll have to send her back to lessons?" Woman is a troll; poor girl is 8, for god's sake.

"I'm afraid they can't. She's been sick; they can't have her in school for the next 48 hours." Don't care if she doesn't want to hear about vomit, did try to leave that part out. Unfortunately for her, stupid woman decided to make fuss.

"And there's no one else who can collect her for you?"

"Well, yes. But almost all of them are sat around this table, and the other isn't available."

Roll of eyes; look on her face is screaming 'bloody ridiculous, can't think of way out of this but going to make a fuss anyway'. "I suppose we're going to have to manage without you then, Dr Alexander."

"Yes, I'm afraid you are." Evil woman, definitely no children. No, actually, wouldn't be surprised if she had 7 kids and is constantly popping out to pick them up from school. Strikes me as sort of person to enforce rules strictly where others are concerned, but manipulate and break them herself. Bet she nips out to hairdressers in middle of working day all the time.

-10.57am

Poor Josi, definitely made right decision coming to get her, was in floods of tears and burning up when arrived, had just been sick again. Will put her on sofa with blanket and DVD when get home and let her sleep, don't think is ill enough to take to doctors just yet. Although do need to persuade her to eat something; hasn't had anything since dinner last night and probably isn't helping. Might have tin of soup in back of cupboard- will check when get home.

Ohhh, phone beeping. Bet know who it is.

"Josi, can you get that for me?"

"Mm hmm." Throat sounds sore, definitely has something nasty. "It's from Dad: thanks for abandoning me, very jealous. Give my love to Joy, H, and 3 kisses. Was it really boring, Mum?"

"Oh, horribly so, Josi, I've never been so bored in my life. How are you feeling now, anyway?"

"A bit rubbish." Looks it, too, am more than a bit worried she might be sick all over inside of Harry's new car before arrive home.

"OK. I know, sweetheart, but we'll be home soon, and then we can go and curl up with a DVD and you can get some rest. You'll feel better if you get some rest."

"Can I watch Pride and Prejudice?"

"Yep, if you want." Must be luckiest Austen-lover on planet: have 8 year old who shares obsession, so get to watch favourite movie on sick day instead of insufferable Disney channel rubbish. Bring on sick days.

-11.00am

Although how much of it Josi actually understands, really don't know.