Trigedasleng:
Ste gonen, strisis- Hold on, little sister.
Roan knew he was lucky to be alive. He was also lucky that the guards were lax. It had taken him about half an hour to remove the bullet and had he had nearly passed out again from the blood loss, but now- now he was ready to fight. The wound was extremely painful yes, but he was not at all concerned about it. It would be fine for now.
Right now, he was worried about Ontari. The girl, his commander, had taken the chip and entered the city of light. Roan cussed at himself, he should have never left Polis, he should have never left Ontari alone, to be influenced in this way. She was still just a child, and an obedient and easily led one at that.
Roan cussed at the memory of his mother. Yes, she had wanted her own natblida. She'd wanted control of Trikru and the other clans. She wanted control over Lexa, but in doing so she'd weakened Ontari. There was fire there, Roan thought, determination and stubbornness- but Ontari only knew how to use that in damaging ways. She'd been a born leader, and, ironically, Nia's lessons who only decreased her innate abilities.
Roan sighed deeply, ignoring his aching lungs. He stood on shaky legs, the chain around his wrists clattering again the cold stone wall in front of him. He pulled at them, seeing if they might, by some miracle, be loose, but no- no such luck.
Ontari, Roan thought, at least in the city of light she wouldn't be in any pain. He thought back to his earliest memories of her, with a tentative smile. His mother had been cruel.
"Ste gonen, strisis," Roan said, "I'll be there soon."
BREAK_BREAK_BREAK_BREAK
"Ontari, seriously?" Roan yelled, shaking his head in tired disbelief, "I could see you following me all the way from the market."
The little girl gave out a huffed sigh in reply, "I was trying my hardest."
"Try harder," Roan suggested, "You'll never be good at tracking if you don't put the effort in."
"I am trying!" Ontari yelled.
Roan smiled slightly as he turned to look at young natblida. He remembered his mother introducing them, telling him not to meddle in her lessons, because Ontari was special. Yes, he could be her friend, but Queen Nia had claimed the girl as her own and wouldn't be prepared to share her with anyone else.
At first that has made Roan jealous. He was the Prince of Azgaeda, yet his own mother acted as if some little natblida was more important than him. Then he'd met the child, with her messy braids and naïve expression and he knew then that he had to protect her. Because, yes, whilst she was a natural at archery, and was relentlessly determined, she was also ridiculously loyal and unquestioning of his mother. It was only a matter of time before she ended up getting hurt, likely badly.
"I know," Roan said, "But to be the best natblida you have to work extremely hard. Lexa and Luna already have years of training on you, but they are the youngest two and have already surpassed their elder classmates. I believe you can do the same. So, does my mother."
Ontari nodded understandingly, "I'll try harder. I was being weak."
Roan frowned at the young girl, before adding affectionately, "You're not weak, Ontari. You're just a pain in the neck."
Ontari grinned in response, before chasing after Roan as he begun to make his way towards the Azgaeden Palace again. His mother wanted him to attend a formal dinner with the generals and, like most teenagers, he had no interest in making small talk with people who were not on his level. Not only that, but Echo would be there, and Echo was even more of a pain than Ontari.
"Slow down, Prince Roan," Ontari called out as she ran after him. Roan quickly spun, catching Ontari off guard and causing her to fall.
"What's the point in using a formal title if you're just going to order me around anyway?" Roan asked, with a grin.
Ontari shrugged, before realising her mistake, "I'm sorry, Prince Roan."
Roan smirked a little, before holding out a hand and pulling Ontari up.
"So, what do you think of our capital?" Roan asked as he slowed, allowing Ontari to walk alongside him.
"It's beautiful, it's so much better than stinky old Polis," Ontari replied.
"Stinky old Polis will be your home one day," Roan replied, earning a concerned look from Ontari.
"No, I want to stay here," Ontari replied, concern clear in her eyes, "I am of Azgaeda, I want to serve in your army."
Roan sighed, "All the commanders live in Polis, Ontari. You'll be expected to do the same."
"Well I'll change things," Ontari threatened, "I'll change the capital to here, so that this is the only capital. And then the Hedas will all rule here just like they should do, under Azgaeda's control."
Roan remained silent. Yes, his mother was already getting to the girl, filling her head with her rhetoric. Nia wanted nothing more than for Azgaeda to have control over the other clans and the Heda and next Heda too. He doubted the little girl knew what the ramifications of those desires might be, and he was afraid that one day she would drag them all into a war out of her loyalty to Queen Nia.
He knew what he had to do, but it wouldn't be easy. He needed to break his mother's hold on Ontari. Not just because it was wrong to make a child into a political pawn, but because in making her nothing more than a rhetoric spewing zombie his mother was overlooking the potential that Ontari already had. Yes, she was a crappy tracker, she wasn't a natural at sword fighting, and diplomacy was a foreign concept to her, but those could be taught, fixed. Her personality, however, that would be the key to making her a good leader. And Queen Nia was going to supress that, until there was nothing of old Ontari left.
"Do you miss your parents, Ontari?" Roan asked tentatively.
Ontari paused for a moment, standing still and staring at the ground. Roan knew she was trying to remain composed. Maybe he should have never asked the question, homesickness would only weaken her, and she needed to be strong to survive his mother.
Ontari shook her head, "My parents never loved me."
Roan frowned, "I don't believe that's true."
"It is!" Ontari yelled defiantly, "My father said I was a mistake, an abomination, and my mother said the gods cursed her when I was born. Because I couldn't be a good daughter, because I couldn't sew properly, and my cooking tasted like poison, and I wanted to be a warrior."
Roan sighed, "They were wrong to treat you like that. To say those things."
"They were true though," Ontari said, "I was a useless daughter to them."
Roan shook his head, "You're a natblida, you deserve the highest respect. Being a natblida is like being a princess. And one day you will be Heda, and you'll be almost as important as my mother."
Ontari stared at her shoes awkwardly, "I just want to be a normal warrior, Prince Roan."
Roan smiled, "To hell with normal, Ontari, normal is for babies."
"I'm not a baby!" Ontari yelled angrily.
Roan grinned, "I know. And you'll get used to your duties here. You have the opportunity to be a part of something far more exciting that any Azgaeda warrior would experience."
"Doubtful," Ontari said quietly. Roan knew he wasn't supposed to hear that, but he couldn't help but grin.
Soon Ontari was smiling too.
"You never give up, do you?" Roan said.
"Nope," Ontari answered, proudly.
Roan sighed. How many other teenagers, especially princes, just put up with toddlers following them around? He knew the answer- none- but then again Ontari wasn't just any little toddler. She would have been extraordinary even if she wasn't a natblida. Her parents were wrong to crush her dreams, Ontari was right to desire a warrior's life- no doubt she would have been identified by the scouts later in her youth and brought to the palace to train as a general. Queen Nia, for all her faults, extended opportunities to families even as poor and underprivileged as Ontari's.
Roan couldn't help but grin at the idea of Ontari as a maid.
"You know," Ontari began, "My friends used to call me Tari. You could too, if you want to."
Roan smiled, "Tari, yes, ok, I will. And you don't have to keep calling me Prince Roan, not when my mother and her generals aren't around. Just Roan is fine."
"Ok, just Roan," Ontari replied, grinning a little at her joke.
Roan shook his head, but was still smiling, "Come on, Tari. We can't be late."
BREAK_BREAK_BREAK_BREAK
Clarke paced backwards and forwards as the girl slept mostly soundly. It had been a good few hours since they'd come to Polis and the sun outside was beginning to set. It threw shadows onto the walls of the commander's room and Clarke was reminded of the time when she'd drawn that sunset. Or at least, tried to, it was hard for her to focus on drawing when Lexa was in the room. And Clarke suspected that Lexa had struggled to focus on her reading too- no doubt to Titus's chagrin. Despite being commander, Titus still gave her lessons and homework.
"Bellamy and Octavia have been gone too long," Murphy complained, "I don't like this."
Clarke sighed, "We don't have any choice. And anyway, we need Roan, he is king of Azgaeda. Once this mess is over, we need the king of the most powerful and influential clan on our side. Do you honestly believe Ontari will be able to rule on her own? That some evil bastard won't challenge her to solo gonplei so that they can take the throne instead."
Murphy sighed, "You're right. We could use someone like Roan, he's influential, a good fighter. But I can't help feeling like sitting duck waiting for Jaha's army to turn up. I just need to do something, anything, anything that feels like we're achieving something."
"I know," Clarke replied, "But we just need to wait for Ontari to wake up."
Murphy sighed, "There has to be another way of activating the chip."
Clarke shook her head, "There is no other way."
"And when this is all done," Murphy said with a heavy sigh, "Ontari will be commander."
Clarke sighed and nodded, "She might not even be the same girl. And Roan, will maintain the coalition and reinstate us as the 13th clan. He will remind her of how we helped her. He will protect us. But that's not a concern for now, Allie is our concern."
Clarke looked up and noticed her mother walking into the room.
"Pike said that we're ready," Abby replied, "The army cannot get in. They are climbing down and regrouping. The access to the elevator shaft will still be mostly blocked. We have a little while longer."
Abby walked over to Ontari, examining her eyes again, and checking her pulse and breathing.
"She's doing better," Abby said, "Her heartbeat is stronger, her breathing is better. The bleeding is slowing, but it will still be a while before the swelling is significantly reduced. She might wake up some time soon however, but we'll need to make sure that she stays still and doesn't injure herself anymore."
Clarke nodded, looking at the new commander. She looked so peaceful, so unaware of the world around her. Clarke knew that she had been given some strong painkillers and sedatives, but soon they'd be wearing off, and she would probably wake up. And when she did- she'd be confused and in immense pain, and she might not even be able to understand the world around her.
Clarke felt conflicted, yes, this was the girl who had murdered Aden. Had murdered the other nightbloods- they were essentially Lexa's children. But Clarke knew that she was just doing what she'd been trained to do. Would waiting for the conclave have resulted in anything nicer? What would Clarke's reaction have been if Aden had been forced to kill his friends and gone through with it? Yes, she would have been compassionate towards Aden, grieved with him, but Ontari, she'd never extended that compassion towards her. And why? Because she appeared heartless.
In reality, she was just doing what she needed to to survive. No different from Lexa.
And no different from her at Mount Weather.
Clarke sighed, this was all so much more complicated than she wanted it to be. Tentatively she took Ontari's hand in hers. No matter what the girl had done, she still deserved some comfort during all of this.
Murphy frowned as he noticed Clarke's decision.
"She's just a kid, Murphy," Clarke said, "She was raised by Queen Nia to be cruel and ruthless. Nia raised her to be a psychopath. It isn't really who she is as a person."
Murphy shook his head, "You're telling me she doesn't know right from wrong? She killed those children, she declared war on us."
"I killed children, Murphy," Clarke argued, "In Mount Weather. I am Wanheda. I had no choice but to do that. Just as Ontari had no choice, if she hadn't killed them, then they would have been forced to kill her. Can you imagine what that would have been like for someone like Aden? Imagine the hell he would have been going through, Murphy, and all of that whilst trying to get the ambassadors to respect him."
"Yeah, no offence, but Aden was a marshmallow," Murphy said, "Like all of the other natblida children, really. I suppose in some ways we should be grateful that Ontari is commander. At least she controls the other ambassadors. And as for the war- well, it's not like we didn't start it."
Clarke nodded, "But we can stop it. With Roan and Ontari's help."
Murphy nodded, before looking at the dark-haired girl, "Yeah, we might be able to."
Clarke sighed, they needed Roan more than ever.
BREAK_BREAK_BREAK_BREAK
The sun had completely set when the intruders entered the jail cell. Roan immediately jumped to his feet in preparation for what was likely to come next. They would beat him, try to force him to take the chip. A part of him almost felt he deserved to be chipped, not because he thought he deserved to be free of pain, no, on the contrary, he thought he deserved more pain than anyone else, but because of Ontari, he had left her to rule alone and as a result she'd been tricked into supporting Allie.
He had failed to protect her, just like always.
"I won't do it," Roan told the intruders, "I won't take the chip."
"Good," a familiar voice said, "He's not under Allie's control."
"Bellamy kom Skaikru," Roan said with a satisfied smile.
"Hurry, O," Bellamy told his sister as the girl rushed towards Roan, starting to remove the chains. Roan was struck by just how much Octavia resembled Ontari. Yes, Octavia was a little smaller, and her hair was dark brown not midnight black like Ontari's, but Roan still didn't like having a visual reminder of the girl he had abandoned.
"Where's Clarke?" Roan asked, "Where's Ontari?"
Bellamy sighed, before beginning to speak.
"We don't have time to explain here," Octavia interrupted, "Can you climb?"
Roan nodded, before looking at the gunshot wound, "It's just a scratch really. You lead the way, Octavia kom Skaikru."
Octavia nodded before setting off at a fast pace.
"Where are they?" Roan asked Bellamy as they made their way towards the elevator.
Bellamy sighed, "Clarke is safe, she's with Ontari."
"If she's with Ontari then why are Allie's soldiers still around?" Roan asked.
"It's complicated," Bellamy replied, as he began to climb. Roan followed close behind him, wincing during the first few steps, but soon growing used to the sharp pain as he inched closer to the top of the tower.
"Tell me," Roan ordered.
"Ontari," Bellamy said, "She's injured. Badly. Jaha, he struck her head with a metal pole. She's alive, but we don't know what will happen when she wakes up. She was asking for you."
"She can speak?" Roan asked hopefully.
"Yes," Bellamy said, "And we think she might be able to understand us. She might be aware of her environment."
Roan sighed, trying to deal with the shock of finding out this new information. Ontari, the girl who had gone from being a nagging pain to being essentially his little sister, she was gravely injured. He should have been there to stop Jaha, or taken the hit in her place. Instead now…
She would pull through, and she would be a great Heda, Roan told himself as he climbed even faster. He knew Ontari, he knew she wouldn't give up. He knew she could do this.
But still, something nagged at him. He had seen warriors who suffered severe head injuries, they had changed- some couldn't walk, or see, some acted differently. No matter what, Ontari would be changed by her ordeal. He knew he shouldn't set any expectations, yes, he wanted so much for her to be a great Heda and a mighty warrior, because that was what Ontari wanted for herself, but right now he was just happy that she was still alive. He could deal with anything else the world threw at them.
They were soon at the top of the tower and Roan carefully pulled himself up onto the floor. They were in the main throne room, but it was empty, except for a couple of corpses. Roan picked himself up quickly, before noticing the black blood that stained the floor.
Ontari's blood.
There was too much of it, Roan thought, trying to hold back tears. It was one thing to hear about something like this, but to actually see it.
"This way," Octavia said, motioning for Roan to follow her to the commander's quarters.
He entered the room slowly, noticing Clarke and Murphy sitting close to the bed.
And then he saw her.
He stood frozen in horror. She was pale, deathly pale, and a large bandage was wrapped around her head, and there was a plastic tube too, stained with nightblood that was connected somewhere in the back of her head. There were needles in her hands too. She looked so small and vulnerable.
When Roan finally regained use of his legs he rushed to her side.
"Tari, Ontari," Roan whispered, "What have they done to you?"
"Roan, I'm sorry," Clarke said, "I tried to stop Jaha."
Roan nodded, "Allie cannot be reasoned with. How long until Ontari will wake up?"
Abby sighed, "We plan to withdraw the sedatives in the next hour or so. Earlier, she seemed almost coherent, I need to determine her level of awareness, what she is capable of doing."
Roan nodded, "Bellamy told me she could speak, she was aware of her surroundings."
Abby sighed, "Yes, she can speak. But being aware of your surroundings involves many components, seeing, hearing, being able to think clearly, being able to think in words, to analyse. It's not as simple as most people think."
"What did she say?" Roan replied.
"She called out for you," Murphy replied, "She said she wanted us to stop, that… she thought we were torturing her. Clarke and I we tried to calm her down, but she just kept thrashing. Bellamy pretended to be you, and that worked for about a minute, she recognised that he wasn't you."
"It's still early days, Roan," Abby said, "She might be aware of her environment on a basic level. She might be able to tell who we are, but…she showed other symptoms that are concerning, her movements are not normal, and… she can't move the right side of her body."
Roan sighed deeply, trying not to throw up. Ontari, he thought, disabled- no, he couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't, there had to be a way.
"She might just be showing these symptoms because of the swelling and bleeding," Abby continued, "Once we relieve some of the pressure she might improve."
Roan nodded, trying to remain hopeful, "Thank you. For saving her life."
Abby nodded, before turning to the others, "We should give the king some space."
Roan remained silent as the others left the room. Only when he was sure they were completely gone did he let out a cry. Ontari, his little sister, no, not after everything she had suffered at his mother's command. Not after all the pain she'd already experienced.
He took her hand in both of his, tracing the scars that ran all over the back of hands and wrists, her callused palms. He traced gently the fracture points were her fingers had broken and not healed properly- a punishment for not defeating the best general when she was only eleven years old. He gently placed a hand around her wrist, it too had healed a sickeningly unnatural angle- he remembered trying to comfort Ontari as she cried all night, his mother yelling at him that he was making her weak, that warriors got injured and she needed to grow up and get used to it. She was just six years old at the time.
"Tari," Roan said, "I'm here. I'm so sorry."
Roan closed his eyes for a moment, knowing he was being a coward, but needing a moment to calm himself down. He was filled with anger, he wanted to smash everything in sight, to scream at the top of his lungs. To drag Jaha in to the room and give him death by a thousand blades. But what if Ontari woke up to that? He didn't want to frighten her. Not when she was so alone. She needed him.
He took several deep breaths before opening his eyes again, and that was when he noticed it.
Subtly, at first, barely perceivably Ontari appeared to be waking up. She frowned a little and Roan placed a careful hand against her cheek, trying to make her aware of his presence. But she didn't seem to calm down at all.
No, the frowning increased and then Ontari started to fidget. Her hand moved in Roan's and he stood quickly, suspecting he'd have to restrain, but knowing that was only like to make her more agitated.
"Tari," Roan said, "I'm here. You're going to be ok, ai strisis."
Ontari coughed a little and Roan gave her a worried look, as she began to make jerky movements, uncoordinated, and it began to dawn on him just how injured she was.
"Tari, beja, ai strisis," Roan said, "Everything will be ok."
"Roan?" Ontari said uncertainly in a hoarse voice, and Roan felt his heart shatter. This wasn't the Ontari that he'd grown up with, no, she sounded terrified. He just hoped that she was recognising him.
"I'm right here," he told her, as he noticed her trying to open her eyes a little. Yes, he cheered internally, come on Ontari, you can do this.
"So tired," Ontari mumbled, her movements slowing a little, but her eyes didn't grow heavier. No, she was still waking up.
"Come on, Tari, you can do this," Roan told her, and he hoped as hard as he could that she would wake up.
Roan smiled as Ontari's eyes finally opened but his smile soon disappeared as he noticed her stare blankly at the ceiling before moving her hand to swipe at the tube connected to her.
Roan quickly pinned her arm down, "No you don't. That's to help you."
Ontari slowly moved her eyes over to where Roan was sitting. She blinked slowly a couple of times, before frowning.
"Roan?" Ontari asked, as she tried to uncoordinatedly push herself up, Roan quickly placed an arm under her shoulders as Ontari let out a loud cry of pain.
"Roan? What's happening to me? Roan, please, get me out of here!" Ontari screamed, "They are going to kill me!"
The thrashing started again violently, and Roan was forced to pin her down to keep her safe. He hated doing it, he could see tears start to spill down Ontari's cheeks and she started to become more aware of her pain and the situation she was in- or as aware as she could be. She was extremely confused, as Roan expected her to be, and her eyes darted quickly backwards and forwards in terror.
"You're safe," Roan tried to reassure her as Clarke and her mother came racing into the room.
That seemed to panic Ontari even more, however and she tried to push herself away from the Skaikru members. Only with one half of her body paralysed it was nearly impossible to do.
"Why can't I move?" Ontari yelled in terror, sobbing furiously, "What's going on? Roan? Roan!"
"Ontari," Roan began, but then Ontari's hand caught on the tube and pulled hard on it. In response, she let out a loud scream.
"Hold her still," Abby commanded as Roan pulled Ontari into his arms, wrapping them tightly around her to stop her moving. She fought back, hard, however and Roan knew he'd be leaving bruises on her arms and stomach from the pressure he was having to use to keep her still.
"It's still in place," Abby said and Roan felt a weight drop from his shoulders, "Ontari, can you hear me?"
"Get away from me you murderers!" Ontari yelled, her eyes shooting in Abby's direction.
"Ontari, do you know who I am?" Clarke asked.
Ontari gave Clarke a menacing look, "Wanheda, Lexa's bitch. I'm going to kill you."
"No, you're not," Roan told her, "Clarke saved your life. Clarke and her mother, Abby, I won't let you hurt them."
Ontari nodded slightly, and then winced at the pain. Roan carefully lowered her onto the pillows and furs.
"Thank you," Ontari said as Abby approached her again.
Roan and Abby shared an uncertain look, and he could tell that she got the message. That Ontari was never usually this reasonable.
"We just need to do a few tests," Abby said.
"I want to sleep," Ontari protested, and Roan couldn't help but smile a little. Yes, that was his Ontari.
"We'll be quick," Abby replied, before grabbing a flashlight.
Roan took Ontari's hand as Abby examined her eyes.
"Ok, her pupils are responsive," Abby said, "Much more so than earlier, which means the pressure inside her skull has reduced. Ontari, could you follow the light please?"
Ontari frowned, "What light?"
Roan jumped up, concerned, "The flashlight, Ontari, Abby wants you to follow it with your eyes."
Ontari took a shaky breath, "There isn't a light, Roan."
Clarke gave Roan a concerned look, "The build of pressure, it's causing temporary blindness."
"Roan?" Ontari asked in a scared voice, "Roan, where are you?"
"I'm here," Roan said, and suddenly it dawned on him, he thought she could see because she knew where he was, because she was struggling to find him, but no. Nia had made Ontari fight blindfolded- she didn't need to see him to find him.
"It is temporary," Abby said, "There is no damage to the occipital lobe, just the frontal and parietal lobes. Once we relieve the pressure she'll be able to see again."
Roan nodded, at least this was only temporary, but Ontari was still confused and not being able to see anything had just panicked her even more.
"What's going to happen to me?" Ontari asked timidly.
Abby sighed, "You were struck badly. There is damage to the cortex, frontal and parietal lobes. These affect thinking, movement, emotions and spatial awareness."
Roan cussed under his breath- thinking, movement, emotions and spatial awareness- these were all absolutely necessary for a Heda. If Ontari couldn't thinking clearly, couldn't move properly, then there was no way she'd be able to be a warrior.
"At the moment, we're seeing a lot of symptoms related to inflammation and blood loss," Abby continued, "Once they have alleviated, we will have a better idea of her prognosis."
"Will I be able to fight again?" Ontari asked.
Abby and Clarke looked at Roan expectantly.
"You always find a way, Tari," he told her, with a reassuring smile, despite the fact that she couldn't see him.
"Talking about fighting," Pike said as he entered the room, and immediately Ontari tried to judge where he was in relation to her. Roan helped her by placing a hand on her stomach to show that he was standing to the left of her, "When is she going to take the flame?"
"You have the flame?" Ontari asked.
"It's too soon," Clarke replied.
"We don't have much time before the army gets here," Pike replied, "If she doesn't take the flame soon. Then we will all die."
Roan took Ontari's hand in both of his, "You don't have to do this."
"No, Roan," Ontari said, "I want to. The flame is mine by right, and if it's going to stop, to stop…"
"Allie," Clarke said.
"Yeah, her," Ontari continued, "Then I'll do it."
"It's not safe," Roan protested, "Not safe to move you to perform the ritual. You won't be able to find the deactivation code. You don't even know what a deactivation code is."
"I'll try," Ontari replied defiantly.
Clarke sighed, "We can do it, Roan. We can give her the flame without injuring her."
Roan sighed, "Ok, but what happens once she has it?"
"She'll tell us how to defeat Allie," Pike said.
Ontari looked up at the ceiling, "Do it?"
"No, Tari," Roan began, "You need to rest."
"It's your call, commander," Pike told her.
Ontari sighed a little and Roan could tell she was tired. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face, and noticed just how warm she was. Abby nodded as she noticed it too. She was feverish, Roan took a deep sigh.
"I'll do it," Ontari replied.
Clarke took the flame from her coat pocket, before moving to stand behind Roan.
He lifted Ontari carefully, just enough so that Clarke could reach the back of her neck.
"Ascende superius," Clarke said as the chip came to life. Thin tendrils extended towards Ontari's neck and begun to dig their way in.
Ontari tensed in Roan's arms but didn't cry out. Soon the chip was fully merged with her neck, and Roan heard her let out a sigh.
"Yes," Ontari said, a smile appearing on her face.
"What is it?" he asked.
"I know how to defeat Allie," Ontari replied.