Concept: Female Luffy
Title: Time of the Month
Characters: Luffy
Genre: Humour
Author's Note: Pre-Grand Line. The crew has a wild encounter with their captain's time of the month.
The fearless pirates were headed for the Grand Line in what should have been a peaceful day.
Until Usopp noticed something wrong with their female captain.
"Hey, Luffy, you're bleeding!"
He instantly had the attention of everyone on the small ship.
Zoro had not only woken up, he had gotten up, blades drawn and all (no, no metaphors here, get your dirty mind out of the gutter).
Usopp himself was taken on a terrifying ride through nightmarish scenarios, courtesy of his over-active imagination.
The owner of the other over-active imagination, Sanji, burst out onto the deck with loud proclamations, his own fantasy-trip making himself a prince out to save a damsel in distress.
Nami sharply looked up, noticed where the blood was, and face-palmed, heaving a long-suffering sigh.
The cause of all this commotion was the only one that seemed unaffected.
"Oh. It's that time of the month again."
Zoro and Usopp looked perturbed by this piece of information.
"W-what do you mean, that time of the month?" Usopp stammered. "Is it an illness?"
"Is there an assassin that goes after you every month?" Zoro looked around.
"Idiots!" Sanji hissed. "How can you not know what that time of the month is?!"
He immediately took them aside to impart all his worldly knowledge when Luffy, who had been silently pondering what to use (for this was no longer the abundant wilderness of her youth, surrounded by ocean her options were limited), spoke up.
"Hey Sanji. Do you have a hanky or something I could use?"
He promptly collapsed.
Nami erupted.
"LUFFY!"
She stormed over, bodily picked up her captain (for dragging didn't work on a rubber body) and marched off with an outraged tirade, snatches of Why, How, What, You don't, NO! and the like drifting back to the boys.
Who were still nonplussed, never having gotten their explanation.
"So, this time of the month thing…" Zoro said slowly, looking at Sanji lying in a growing pool of his own blood. "Is it contagious?"
Usopp freaked.