Chapter 2

My Sorrow

I sat helplessly as Ivan gave all of the orders; he said he wanted to start as soon as he could. We were able to get the other pieces of the Soviet Union together no problem, all it took was a simple look from Belarus and a few words from Russia and Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia were putty in our hands. Then Lithuania had to make a simple phone call to Poland, most of it with a knife to his neck, and then Poland also joined, though he was confused when he did. Now Russia was living out his dream and leading the first attack against America. I tried to get him to change his target at first, when he told us all of his plans, but I was quickly silenced when he mentioned our deal, I had to keep Canada safe, but I'm not sure how much longer I could protect him. America was my friends, and I knew that now my choices were making him suffer, but…I had to keep Matvey safe, I don't know what I would do without him.

Ivan told us that we would start by targeting his vital regions, we would hit Washington DC, New York, California, Texas, Arizona, and a bunch of others big cities. The guilt piled up as I imagined the pained my friend would be going through. All those people…they were all going to get hurt. None of them seemed to understand that. Russia and Belarus were more concerned with taking over the world that they were not thinking of the consequences of their actions, and the Baltic States were far too eyeing both Nat and Ivan with fear, that they did really notice anything. The only one who even looked like they had a clue was Poland.

Feliks and I had been great friends for years; it really started back when Russia had claimed half of him for the Soviet Union. I had felt bad for him; he was ruled by two opposing forces, with no real say in anything that happened in his own country. After seeing him sit there all depressed during most of the Soviet meetings I decided to go over and talk to him, at first he paid me no mind, but after a while we really started to get along. Then when the Soviet Union dissolved we were the first two to leave. Ever since our time in the Soviet Union we have stayed best friends and when I found out that he and Toris got together I felt so happy for them. Now however if felt like more a bad thing than a good thing, I know that Lithuania did not mean to chain Poland to something he hated, but it seemed that Poland, like me was forced to join because of love. We in this same boat in this one, forced to participate, only to keep the ones that we love from getting hurt, once again I found myself feeling sorry for this poor boy, once again both of us were trapped.

I walked over to where my best friend sat; ignoring my brother as he once again went over the attack plans.

He looked up at me, but did not smile the way he used to always, he just looked at the empty seat next to him, and I took that as an invitation. I sat in the seat and looked at him, he looked completely miserable.

"Heh," he said, "And they said that history couldn't repeat itself. I'd be surprised if this didn't end the same way it did before."

"If only it were still as easy to leave as it had been back then," I said.

"So how did they get you to join this sick union, I know you are smart enough to not think that it was a good idea to restart this killing circle, so what did they have to do to force you?" he asked looking up at me with hard cold eyes. He barely even seemed like the happy careless boy I'd known only so long ago.

"Same thing they did with you, they went for my boyfriend, in order to save him I had to join, now he is save and I am miserable," I told him, my voice echoing the same hopeless anger that his gave off.

"Boyfriend?" he asked, showing how out of contact we have really been the last couple of years. "Who is it? Estonia, Latvia…or did you beat Belarus to it and take Russia?"

I laughed, I wasn't surprised that out of my whole statement he had only heard the word boyfriend, that is just how Feliks was wired, that is what made him my best friend. "No, no," I said. "He isn't in the Union, thank god for that, I'm actually dating Canada, you know, America's twin brother."

"The one with the polar bear?" Poland asked. I was happy to see that my best friend was able to recognize my boyfriend, but it made me laugh to think that really everyone recognizes Kumajiro rather than his own.

"Yeah, that's him," I said.

"Oh," Poland said thinking. "He is cute, I guess, I like what he does with his hair." I expected Feliks to be a bit more enthusiastic, but I don't think he was able to be enthusiastic about anything at this point, he just looked depressed. I meant to ask how he was holding up when my brother interrupted me.

"Is that alright Systra?" Russia asked turning everyone's attention to me. I blushed a little, embarrassed I felt like I was in high school and the teacher had just asked me a question when I wasn't paying attention.

"Is what alright?" I asked not really prepared to just say yeah, and pretend I was paying attention, I didn't know what I would be agreeing to, for all I know he would be asking permission to attack Canada head on. I thought I saw Feliks smile a little at me side, and I elbowed him.

"We want to shoot off some of the missiles in your land, I want to split up where all the missiles are so that if America tries to fight back the missile will be split up, and harder to find," Russia said unaware of my embarrassment. I nodded unconcerned, as long as it was not me who was setting off the missiles I really didn't care, the world would eventually find out I was involved either way. "Alright then, the missiles will be moved to each of our countries as soon as possible, and then we will lead the attack tonight," Russia said concluding the meeting. Both Poland and I sighed as he realized what that would entail. Belarus and Russia just seemed excited, and the Baltics seemed relieved that they had survived the entire meeting. Poland left my side, only giving me a quick farewell glance, and then went to go join Lithuania, who looked in a rush to leave. I however got up slowly, the words Russia had said sinking in to my brain, like the toll of a funeral bell.

We will Lead the Attack Tonight

The words growing heavier than they were on the surface, my head seemed to fill with the screaming of the people that would be affected by this attack, and I saw my dear friend America looking at me, his clothes drenched with his own blood, and his eyes dead. I couldn't take it, I didn't want to see my friend, the picture seem to ache and ache and I tried to tell myself that it was because he was my friend, that is was because I was hoping he would one day be my brother-in-law, but I knew the truth. The only reason why the picture made my chest ache and made me short of breath was because he just looked so much like Canada. They were twins, they practically had the same face, I loved America, as a friend, but in reality, feeling that this attack could have been Canada as well just made me feel so tortured. I decided to go home, and attempt to calm myself

The entire ride back to my house I felt like my brain was turned off, I couldn't concentrate on anything, if I even tried thee picture of America seemed to find its way back in to my mind. When I had arrived home I tried and tried to keep myself busy by cleaning and cooking, but nothing worked. I just thought of how the missiles would be launched off soon, and how I had no way of stopping them, I felt so paranoid in my own home, it wasn't right. I couldn't stop myself from pacing and freaking out. I might have even screamed at something as simple as my doorbell ringing, I wasn't sure, I was too guilty and freaked out to even notice.

I quickly opened my door to see who was bothering me. It was Ivan.

"Oh hey Katsuyasha, I just came by to tell you that the missiles were in place, will set them off at 10 o'clock tonight."

"Alright thanks," I said perhaps too quickly, shutting my front door. I watched Russia threw my window; he looked a little confused but shrugged it off and then went back to his car. I stood there still freaked out, I just needed him to leave, I did not want to just sit here and wait for those missiles to launch all panicky, and there was no way I could stand being in my own country with those missiles still here. The second I saw Russia's car pull out of view I ran out of the house and jumped in to my own house. Most likely at a moment like this, I would probably go to either Poland's house or maybe my sister's, but I couldn't right now, I knew there would be missiles there too, so I went to the one place I knew I would feel safe. I knew there was a chance that he may be here, and that if he knew I was involved with hurting his brother, he would be really pissed at me, but I had to be with him, he made me feel safe.

It really sucked that Matthew lived so far away, by the time I got to his house, it was late, almost time for the bombing and stuff, but I tried to forget about that. I wasn't surprised to find that he wasn't home when I got there; the entire house was empty of life. Matthew actually had two houses in Canada, because of how big his country was, he had one that he lived in alone, and one that we shared as a couple. So I guess if he didn't come here, he wouldn't be too surprised to find me. I tried to relax myself and just take in his scent, the scent that made me feel so safe, but I couldn't, I was still pacing, after a few minutes I gave up and made my way to the bathroom to shower, I felt dirty, like my hands were stained with all of the blood of the people who were going to die. I turned on the water, and then stripped staring at myself in the mirror as the water heated up. My face looked so pale, my eyes looked so dead, I couldn't take it, I knew I was doing this to keep him safe, but was it worth losing my health over, I knew my answer within seconds, yes, yes it was, he was worth so much more.

When the water was warm enough I walked into the shower not evening minding as the too hot water burned my pale skin turning it pink. I stayed in the shower for a while, trying to feel comfort in the hot licks of the warm water, I waited until my skin began to wrinkle with all the water to get, when I got out looked quickly at the clock that hug on the wall across the room. 10:30. I couldn't even look at myself if in the mirror as I walked past it to get a towel. I hurried out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, looking for the spare pair of clothes I kept here. I felt tears fall down my cheeks as the screams once again filled my head. The guilt seemed to hammer harder and harder with the beat of my heart. I felt like I could hear the explosions in the distance. As I quickly got dressed I began to get dizzy as all the emotions fought inside of me, I felt like I might pass out, at one point I thought my head might explode when I was distracted by sounds coming from the living room. I walked over, now in my pajamas, to investigate. I heard as the lock turned and the door opened. To my relief Canada walked in, his hair a mess and his face looking troubled, he looked up to see me standing there and his face frowned with anger. I knew he knew what had happened to his brother, and thee guilt began to eat me from the inside once again.

"How could you?" he asked. I felt myself die inside. I wanted to tell him that I had to, that if I didn't then they would kill him, but I couldn't I knew what would happen if I did, if I told him the truth he would make me quit the union, he would tell me he could handle himself, but I knew he couldn't I knew what would happen if I let them hurt him. I had to stay in the Union, for him!

I didn't say anything as I felt the tears return to my eyes. "I-I'm sorry," I stuttered out. I saw his face soften, he could never stand seeing me cry. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, he was comforting me? Why? He knew what happened; he knew what I did to his brother, why was he comforting me?

"I know you Ukraine, I know you wouldn't want to hurt Al, he is your friend, but how could you just sit there and watch your siblings hurt him?" he asked me, his voice was soft but I heard anger and hurt in his words.

"I'm…sorry," I cried still not able to find an answer to tell him.

"The missiles that hit, they had the Soviet Union emblem on them, I know that you told me before, that you hated being in the Soviet Union, but how could you just let them attack America like that? I know they probably forced you to join, because I know you, and I know you wouldn't join on your own, but why didn't you fight? Why?" He was crying now too, and I could hear in his words that he was no longer asking me, but just asking fate. I hugged him back, trying to comfort him to, despite the guilt that seemed to grow with every tear he cried, he stood like this for a few minutes, until he pulled away, he was done cry.

"I have to go," he said, his voice sounding almost dead. I knew it was wrong but I winced at his words, I knew I had caused his pain but I wanted him here, with me, I wanted him to stay. He forced a smile when he saw my disappointment. "I have to go take care of Al," he said his smile falling. "He is in really bad shape, he keeps coughing up blood." I frowned, the tears coming back to my eyes.

"Is he going to…" I sobbed, I couldn't finish the sentence.

Matvey seemed to understand what I was saying though. "It…doesn't look well. England says he will be fine but…" Matthew let the sentence trail off. He also did not want to consider the possibility that his brother could be dying. I felt my heart break right there as I saw Matvey wander around the room grabbing a few things, before leaving; I saw that he also left a frightened looking Kumajiro here. I took the cub in my arms, glad to have someone here with me, and then walked back to the bedroom.

The entire night I did not sleep, I didn't even get in the bed; I just sat there on the edge, stroking Kumajiro's. Deep down inside something told me, he was not going to make it.