A/N Stephenie Meyer owns all, even me. And you. And your shoes.

Thank you so much for the lovely reviews for the last chapter. I've decided to continue this story, so here goes....

CHAPTER TWO

Previously (EPOV)

"Hey Edward, I'm Bella," she murmured, brushing against me and sending a thrill down my whole body. Then she smirked evilly, answering my earlier question, "Where have I been your whole life? That's easy."

She chuckled, took a last drag on the joint and tossed it into the underbrush.

"Avoiding you. See you around, stud."

~ * ~

EPOV

She sauntered off towards the office with a saucy little wave, smirking when she glanced back halfway and caught me gawking after her. I scowled and turned, refusing the nearly overwhelming temptation to follow her.

Bella Swan. Fuck, she'd sure as hell grown up - the little skinny kid with braces and scraped knees was no more. Well, the scraped knees bit was probably still true. Given that she'd nearly brained herself jumping in and out of the dinosaur she seemed to think was a vehicle, it seemed clear that she was still so clumsy it was almost a disability.

That asshole Jasper - he might be all gooey eyed for Alice now, but he could have at least warned me that she was that hot.

I could hear Alice and Jasper laughing at me. Fucking tools. I turned my scowl on them as they approached, rolling my eyes at their joined hands. Did they ever stop touching each other? Urgh. I might give Alice shit about not being my real sister, but the truth was I'd grown up with the little pain-the-ass and I felt too much like her brother to stomach the sight of her clinging to a guy.

"Not funny, dipshits," I growled at them.

Alice sniggered, eyes with her hand. "Hate to disagree, but that was freaking hilarious. Who was she? I need to congratulate the only girl who's not only immune to your disgusting charms but also made you look like a thirteen-year-old with his first boner."

I glowered, not answering, but Jasper beat me to it. "Bella Swan, the Chief's daughter. She just moved back here."

"Bella?!" Alice looked delighted and actually squealed, then proceeded to clap her hands and jump up and down like the Energizer bunny on acid. She grinned up at Jasper. "Oh, this is so perfect. Do you remember how Edward used to pull her pigtails all the time until she stuck a a super-wad of gum in his hair and mom had to practically shave his head?"

Jasper sniggered. "That was Bella? That big ass bald patch made me laugh for weeks."

Traitor. I kicked him in the shin, shutting him up as he hopped about. "OW!"

"Yeah, laugh it up, asshole - not another goddamn word or I'll paint your car pink."

"Stop calling my boyfriend an asshole, Edward. It's not his fault that you're still as emotionally retarded now as you were back then."

"What are you babbling about, Mary?"

She scowled at the mention of her hated first name "Well, Eddie, what I'm talking about is the fact that you used to have a monster-sized crush on Bella Swan. You used to follow her round all the time just to pull her hair and push her over."

I rolled my eyes. "I never had a crush on Swan - I used to push her over because, quite frankly, that shit is hilarious. She was that clumsy she'd usually fall twice again trying to get up." My lips twitched at the memory of her angry little face as she'd chase me to try to retaliate, but usually just end up falling on her ass again instead.

"That's fine, Edward, keep living in denial-land - I hear the weather there is just wonderful. Just don't try and push her over this time - her dad probably gave her pepperspray and you know how proud the Chief would be if she tested it out on you."

"She'd probably just miss and spray herself in the eye. Besides, I don't need to push her - ten bucks says she'll fall down all on her own by the end of the day." Easy money.

Jasper grinned at me, slapping his hand into mine. "You're on."

Alice just rolled her eyes at our antics and inspected her nails, like she was so fucking superior. "Come on, let's go inside. I'm freezing my butt off out here." She gave me a sly grin. "Unless, of course, Edward would like to wait for Bella to come out of the office."

I glowered at her, narrowly resisting the impulse to push her over. I turned and stalked in the opposite direction of the office towards the main doors, ignoring the laughter of Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dumber behind me.

~ * ~

I had Spanish first period with Crazy Goff, the Mexican jumping bean who, like the rest of the female faculty, clearly had a continental-size crush on me. Then that reminded me of Bella and my mood soured. How fucking dare she not react to the smile - maybe it was losing it's panty-dropping powers?

Hmm. I swivelled in my seat to catch Angela Weber's eye behind me, the perfect test run as she was one of the few girls in the school who hadn't been introduced personally to my pants. I blasted her with it, the oh-so-casual yet deliberate crooked smirk that I'd secretly practiced in the mirror when I was fifteen, and was pleased to see her cheeks go pink and her eyes glaze over.

Perfect. My powers are still intact - clearly it's just Swan who's immune. Probably something wrong with her brain.

As if my musings had summoned the demon herself, Bella walked into the class room and handed a slip to the teacher, introducing herself in a soft murmur. She'd lost the jacket now and was wearing a vintage Rolling Stones t-shirt that hugged her petite waist and revealed the barest sliver of skin above her jeans.

She headed towards the open seat next to Jessica Stanley, four desks along and one behind where I sat. She tripped over someone's bag and I grinned widely, knowing I'd won the ten bucks from Jasper - but then she grabbed the table and righted herself before she hit the desk. Damn it. Still, I had all day and she'd go down eventually.

I could see Stanley wriggling in her seat, poodle-hair practically vibrating as she was clearly loving the fact that she could be the first to interrogate the new girl. She didn't waste a second, launching into Bella before she'd even managed to get into her seat.

I leant back in my chair and angled my head towards the girls. Not to hear Bella better. Absolutely not. It was just more...comfortable this way.

"So, Bella, where'd you move from?"

Christ, Stanley's voice is so fucking annoying. It's like she had a pet mouse trapped down there that squeaks away for her. Probably does her thinking for her too.

"Phoenix."

"Oh, that's cool," Jess replied inanely. "Isn't it, like, really sunny there? How come you don't have a tan?"

"Well our old postman was an albino, so that could be your explanation right there."

I couldn't help but laugh at that, getting a few odd looks from those surrounding me, and I couldn't stop myself from turning my head fully to look at the two girls. Bella gave me a knowing smirk - smug bitch knew I was listening. Jessica just looked confused, the part of her brain that processes sarcasm clearly absent. Hell, her whole goddamn brain was absent.

I turned in my chair, no longer hiding the fact I was listening in. Jessica, clearly thinking I was watching her, started fluttering her eyelashes and puffing out her poodle hair. Moron.

"Why'd you move back here then?"

Bella answered Jess, ignoring me but not making any effort to lower her voice to prevent me eavesdropping. "Well, my mom remarried, and there's only so many times you can hear your mother screaming 'spank me harder!' while screwing her twenty-four-year-old husband before the future therapy bills just get out of hand."

I burst out laughed again, and Jess copied me a moment later with a screechy giggle that was supposed to be endearing but instead made my ear drums wince. Bella smiled politely at Jessica, her face amused as she took in both our expressions.

The bell rang then and conversation was cut off as Senora Goff started the lesson. I cursed the assigned seating in this class, wishing that I'd been able to sit in the row behind Swan and throw things at her head. Ha! I should put gum in her hair - see how she likes being half-bald for a change. I smirked at the thought.

Class dragged by slowly and I glanced at the empty seat next to me where Emmett should be sitting. Stupid prick was home 'sick' after drinking most of a bottle of Jagermeister last night - he was lucky it was our mother who was home this morning and not the step-monster Carlisle. Esme was crazy enough to fall for his explanation of stomach flu - Carlisle would have sent him in anyway and probably took his car away too.

That thought made me frown. Carlisle's most recent brand of punishment was to hold our cars ransom - about the only thing he was able to do to us these days as any attempts to ground me or Emmett were cheerfully ignored. Just four more days until I got the Volvo back - sooner if I can figure out where Dr. Dickhead hid the keys. He'd had to come up with new hiding places as I'd found every one that he used in the house.

Hmm, maybe he wasn't hiding them in the house anymore. Maybe his office at the hospital? I made a mental note to visit step-daddy-dearest on his shift and find those goddamn keys before I had to spend another minute in Jasper's Camaro. Nothing against the car, but the thought of what he and Alice get up to in there makes my skin crawl.

The bell signalling the end of the lesson shattered those disturbing thoughts. Everyone was up and out of their seats, gathering books and talking loudly to each other while Crazy Goff bounced up and down at the front of the classroom and yelled the homework assignment at us in Spanish. Yeah, like anyone was listening.

As Bella was tipping her belongings into her book bag I caught a glimpse of what looked like a drawing on a sheet of paper. Intrigued, I tried to make it out from where I was but it was impossible. As the rest of the class trailed out into the hall I lingered at the doorway, eyeing the corner of the page poking out of her bag and waiting for her to pass me.

She eyed me suspiciously as she approached the door. "Planning to pull my hair like the old days, Cullen?"

I gave her the crooked smile, waiting for her eyes to glaze and her cheeks to blush but...nothing. Fuck's sake - she was still immune! She was smirking back at me as if she could hear every thought in my brain.

I realised I hadn't moved or spoken, just stood there grinning down at her like a demented bouncer, when she arched a brow at me and challenged, "Well?"

I just shrugged and stood slightly to the side, motioning with my arm that she was free to pass. I knew not answering her would piss her off and I wasn't disappointed when I saw the flare of irritation in the eyes. As she passed me by I could smell her delicate floral scent underlain with a hint of smoke and was very nearly distracted from the task at hand. Luckily I recovered from her devil scent before she was gone.

I reached out and grabbed the corner of the paper, pulling it from her book bag with a cry of triumph and running out into the hall, holding the paper high above my head so she couldn't get it back. Midget.

Alice was already there in the hall, shaking her head as she watched my behaviour. "Real mature, Edward."

I ignored her and looked at the drawing on the paper. I'd been secretly hoping to find a picture of myself with love hearts drawn around it and Bella's handwriting proclaiming E+B forever, I am not immune to the panty-dropping smile and I fully acknowledge Edward is a sex god but I was disappointed. Then I was surprised and impressed as I took the picture in.

She'd drawn a caricature of Crazy Goff stylised as a Mexican jumping bean wearing a sombrero. I was shocked - not only was the sketch incredibly well-drawn, but it mirrored my mental description of our Spanish teacher. I was still staring at in surprise when Bella punched me in the stomach.

I involuntarily doubled over, grunting loudly as the air in my lungs escaped me. She used my reduced statute to snatch the sketch from my hand and give me a triumphant grin. "Don't steal my shit, Cullen," she said, and walked away.

Alice by this point was crying with laughter. When Jasper walked down the hall to meet us he looked confused as Alice tried to explain but couldn't get any words out past the giggles. "Bella - picture - Edward he - immature - punched him -"

Jasper just smiled nodded along to Alice's ramblings and pretended that she sounded like she was speaking English, then turned and asked me, "So has she fallen over yet?"

I glowered at him. "No, not yet. But she will. Swan and the floor are old friends."

~ * ~

A couple of hours later at lunch Alice was still giggling to herself. Jasper, by now, had heard the full story and was watching me with amusement as my narrowed eyes followed Bella as she walked through the lunch line with Jessica Stanley. As she headed to their table she nearly tripped over the perfectly flat linoleum, but Angela Webber reached out and steadied her before she could fall.

Damn it. So close. As she sat at Stanley's table my eyes followed her, willing her to fall on her ass. I was not going to lose this stupid bet to Jasper. Asshat.

"Stop trying to use mind control powers to make Bella fall over. It's against the terms of the bet," Alice chided with a sarcastic smile. I just grunted at her.

"Emmett called before," Alice said, crunching loudly as she bit into her apple. "He wants us to stop by the grocery store and pick him up some Cheetos for his 'stomach flu'."

I snorted. Emmett always insisted that powdered cheese was a hangover cure and so stuffed his face with Cheetos every time he imbibed too much. "No way, he buy his own snacks. It's his own fucking fault he drank nearly a full bottle - and besides, that was my Jager."

"We'll pick some up on our way home after practice," Jasper promised Alice. He took her hand and kissed each of her fingertips while she beamed at like he'd just built a shopping mall for her own personal use in our back garden. I rolled my eyes; so whipped.

A felt a hand stroke the hair at the back of my neck, long nails grazing my scalp, and I knew from the talons that it was Lauren before she even opened her mouth. She sauntered around me and leaned against the back of Emmett's empty chair, knowing better than to try and sit at my lunch table just because she was the current flavour of the week. Alice scowled at her.

"Can I get ride home tonight, Edward?" she asked, still twisting my hair between her fingers.

I batted her hand away, irritated. "Can't, Lauren. I've got football practice after school."

"I know that," she replied, looking a little annoyed but then quickly smoothed it away. "The squad's got practice too, Rosalie is killing us with this new routine."

I glanced at Rosalie Hale's table across the hall where she sat with her boyfriend Royce King, holding court like the Ice Queen she was. She was already in her cheerleading uniform and her skirt was so short I'm surprised Royce's eyeballs hadn't fallen out of his head. From the look in his eye as he stared at Rose I gave it another five minutes before he started dry-humping her in the middle of the cafeteria.

"Well, I still can't. I don't have my car and Jasper needs to pick something up for Emmett." For the first time ever I was grateful to my older brother and his obsession with violently-orange powdered cheese. "Go bug Newton."

"Fine," she huffed and stalked away.

Alice glared at me in disgust and threw a tomato at my head. I looked at her, annoyed. "What the fuck?"

"Why do you always have to be such an asshole, Edward?" she demanded. "It's bad enough to go through girls like tissue paper, but why do you have to be such a prick to everyone all the time?"

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, a thousand dickhead comments running through my brain. To my surprise, I looked down at the table said instead, "I don't know."

Jasper and Alice both looked surprised, clearly expecting my usual caustic comeback. I didn't say anything else and eventually they went back to their quiet conversation as they finished their lunch.

~ * ~

A/N Reviewers get chocolate-covered Edwards delivered to their doors ;)

BPOV up next chapter - unless you want more of Edward's POV? Let me know!